- Joined
- May 21, 2023
- Messages
- 312
Just came out of a frustrating dry spell over early January in which several of the girls I was seeing suddenly ghosted almost at the same time (not the first time this has happened… maybe it was part of their new years resolutions lol). I was left with an empty pipeline.
Well, it seems that when it rains it pours. Perhaps it was two weeks of no sex and pent-up sexual energy bursting out, but this past week has been a complete turn-around, very quickly pulling some incredibly hot and fun girls into my life (all from cold approach too).
But I also seem to have run into what Hector described as the “player paradox” - as you get better and smoother at game, you face more challenges from girls, which translates into LMR.
Gonna try to run through the four pulls somewhat briefly, focusing on key bits of interest.
24yo HB7.8 - Night time cold approach instadate + close
Around 11:30pm on Saturday, I was taking the metro home after a nice evening catching up with an old friend. Upon arriving at my station, I noticed a girl walking slowly towards the exit, phone in hand. Something about the way she was dressed (somewhat revealing blouse with white linen pants - not exactly an "on display" outfit but definitely for the bar) and her slow vibe told me she had probably just come back from the bar, but was in no hurry to get home.
I took this as an opportunity and approached, complementing her on her vibe and style. She was a little hesitant, but hooked and stayed in the set. I asked what she was up to, she said she had been out at the bar with friends, but they decided to "go home early" (key signal there). After some light teasing and back-and-forth, I mentioned a nice cocktail lounge nearby and suggested we head there for a drink. She agreed, and off we went.
It was a pretty standard seduction. We sat on a sofa and ordered our drinks, me facing forward and her sitting slightly towards me (a very ideal position). I deep dived her, qualified, teased, and did some light sex talk gambits between fractionating. She was a bit quirky - a feisty girl with an attitude, sometimes unusually blunt with her responses. I didn't do a lot of explicit physical escalation other than some things with our hands, which I'll admit must have contributed to the LMR I faced later. But any time she gave negative compliance, I punished by looking away bored, letting there be pregnant pauses, and sometimes ignoring her and commenting on something in the bar. This seemed to have the desired effect of steadily increasing her compliance.
After an hour or so (and after having seeded the pull by mentioning I live a few minutes walk away, that I enjoy drinking in quiet places, and talking about our favourite music), I suggested we leave and go to another place. She said where, I said most other places are closed, but we could buy some drinks and head to mine.
Her reaction was unexpectedly blunt. She said "no way, we're not leaving this bar. We're gonna stay right here."
Well at this point I thought fuck this girl, maybe I should throw in the towel. But she was still facing me, watching me, and initiating conversation, which I took to mean that this was just a (rather provocative) shit test.
Well I saw an opportunity to punish her for this explicit negative compliance. As I was ignoring her and looking around at the various objects in the bar, two sexy girls in tight black dresses walked right in front of us to the door. I intentionally let my eyes follow them, checking them out in delight, all the while HB watched me intensely, then gave a look of disgust as I smiled at her. It was hilarious, and I knew it had the desired effect.
She gave me some more shit tests, which I don't exactly remember, but I think I navigated them well or brushed them off. I then said "let's get out of here" and, before she could respond, signalled to the bartender to bring the bill.
We stepped outside, and again she asked me where are we going. I just said "let's go get some drinks at 7-11", obviously implying what would happen next. We bought some drinks and walked to mine.
At my place, we settled in, I got out my laptop and asked her what her favourite music is. She was sitting on my chair, and it took some coaxing to get her to come over to the bed. Eventually I pulled her in to snuggle and smell her neck, which she half-resisted but then quickly gave in. We watched some music videos, then I went to kiss her which she rejected. More shit tests, more escalation attempts, more pushy resistance. It was 2am and I was getting a bit tired of the dance, but I knew I'd get her if I persisted.
Eventually she suggested sleeping over, saying something about not wanting to go back to her condo. I saw how it was going to play out now. We took turns showering (after rejecting my playful suggestion that we shower together lol), then I gave her a T-shirt and shorts and we hopped into bed. I turned off the lights, but opened the curtain to let some outside light in. Then I just escalated all the way to sex with no resistance.
To be honest, it was pretty good sex considering how bitchy and misbehaving she had been. She was incredibly wet. I also fucked her in the early morning, which was nice.
She said "in the morning, I'm leaving, and you'll never see me again". I said "well that's a shame, I really enjoyed our night." (We did keep texting a little, but I don't know if I actually want to meet her again).
It was a nice way to break a dry spell.
19yo HB8.8 - Evening cold approach + pull (no lay)
On Wednesday around 6:30pm, I had just gotten off the metro and was wandering around a nearby market, killing time before going to play tennis with a friend (a hot former FB turned tennis buddy - god I love cold approach!), when I spotted a girl walking around on full display in an extremely (and I mean almost seeing her nipples from my POV) revealing blouse and a sexy miniskirt. Of course, I was obliged to at least open her. I gave a direct compliment about her vibe, and she hooked quickly.
I asked what she was doing, she said nothing in particular as this was her day off. She told me she was 19. A more obvious SDL signal could not be given. I told her I'm about to go play tennis, but we should grab a drink later. She agreed, and we swapped numbers.
After tennis, I quickly showered, then met her at a bar a couple of stations away from my place. She arrived in the same outfit - and it seemed even more tantalising than I remembered (and she had some of the most beautiful natural breasts I've seen in my time here).
We had a drink and talked. I probed into her dating history and she told me she had just moved from the countryside and had actually never dated anyone before (which sounds implausible from the way she was dressed, but I could nonetheless tell that she was indeed sexually inexperienced).
After we finished the drinks, I suggested we go to another bar (near my place) where we could play pool. She agreed.
However, as we went down the four flights of stairs, it was clear that she was not handling the alcohol well (even though it was just one cocktail). She almost fainted and had to sit down for a few minutes. I suggested instead that we could just go and relax at my place, and no more drinks. She seemed to agree to that proposal (though when our taxi arrived at my place, she was a little confused - which makes me think there was some misunderstanding).
There's not too much to say about this one. I mistakenly shortcutted the seduction process, skipping a second venue where I would normally do sex talk gambits and physical escalation, because I thought she was DTF and an easy lay judging by the way she was dressed. What I think was actually the case, in hindsight, is that she was dressed like that because she is an inexperienced country girl who thought that THAT was the normal way for a girl to attract the attention of men (an unsurprising conclusion given that she works in a restaurant near the red light district). I got no indication that she was sexually aroused, and it seemed she didn't know how to respond to my attempts at sexual framing.
At my place, I tried physically escalating, but it did not work (I asked if she had ever kissed anyone, she said no). At some point, she said I seem like a bit of a player, and I think that was part of her reason for resistance (that combined with a lack of comfort, arousal, and pulling too quickly).
I tried a few times, but I could tell it was getting me nowhere. I got her a taxi home, and that was it. We continued texting a little, but I doubt I will see her again. Chalking this one up to a blunder of over-eagerness. Don't cut corners.
26yo HB8.5 - Early evening cold approach + date with close
On Thursday, I met up with a girl who I had cold approached on Tuesday evening (also at a metro station - you can guess what's my favourite place for cold approach lol). It was a rather spontaneous side approach as we were in a fast-moving crowd of people, which is normally less than ideal for cold approach, but I spotted this girl who had the most incredible body. I opened her from the side while we were walking, then moved her over to a gap away from the crowd.
Her response to my approach was receptive to say the least. As I was talking, she was gazing into my eyes and smiling as if this was some whirlwind romance. I knew this could be a definite SDL, but I did not have logistics in place (was far from my house) and I was about to go catch up with a friend. I number closed her and we parted ways.
So we met on Thursday for drinks. She arrived in a sexy, short, skin-tight black dress. Now I saw the shape of her breasts properly, and it instantly turned me on. The vibe, however, was somewhat less electrified than the day we had first met. I half-expected this to happen (which is why I'm increasingly in favour of going for instadate SDLs over scheduled dates to capitalize on the momentum of the moment).
I did some deep diving, but her English was quite poor so she mostly reverted to Thai (which I mostly understand but far from fluent). The conversation didn't exactly flow. But I've become accustomed to comfortably letting the silence sit when there's nothing good to talk about. I find that sometimes it's more powerful than constantly filling the silence - as I always felt the need to do in the past.
I asked her about her love language (which took some explaining), she said skinship and conversation. By now we were holding hands, and there was some nonverbal chemistry between us. However, due to the language barrier I still hadn't done much comfort-building or sexual prizing, which is a cornerstone of my game these days. Without it, I know I will face LMR.
I suggested we go to another bar, then got the bill. We headed out and started walking towards the bar near my place. On the way, we started talking about movies. She said she loves soppy romantic stuff like Twilight and 365 Days (a movie about softcore BDSM). This, combined with her "skinship" answer to the love languages question, made me conclude I could indeed move things faster.
As we got close to the bar, I said to her:
"You know, I've just got an idea. We could go to the bar and have another drink. Or we could grab something to drink at the 7-11 and watch a movie at mine. I wouldn't mind watching 365, haven't seen it yet (not true)."
She gave a mischievous smile, pointed her finger and said "I know what you're thinking!" I just led her with one hand on her back into the 7-11. We bought a couple of iced teas and went back to mine.
At mine, I showed her around, let her settle in, then got my laptop and put on the movie. As the movie got to the more sexual parts, I began to escalate on her, but encountered quite stiff resistance.
I realized at this point that, much like the previous 19yo girl I had failed to escalate with, the comfort and arousal was missing. By skipping the second venue and pulling the girl directly, I had skipped much of the escalation, sexual prizing and comfort-building that's necessary for fast sex with a girl without facing LMR.
I think she also had a certain fantasy about me in her mind when we first met (based on the romance movies she watches) which she was probably expecting me to live up to - a masculine, seductive man who dominates and takes what he wants - much like the sexy Italian protagonist in 365 Days. I'm not quite like that in reality, but it's a vibe I try to replicate.
Eventually, I could tell from her body language that she really needed more comfort. When she went to the bathroom, I closed the movie and switched to some Latin music videos, so that we could talk. Now her objections came up - saying she thinks I'm a player, asking if I do this with every girl, etc. It was a barrage of shit tests that I hadn't yet properly addressed, and sex could not happen until they were dealt with.
After a deep conversation in which I somehow conveyed the Comfort and Trust gambit and the Three Keys between a mangled mix of Thai and English, I escalated on her again, and had sex with no resistance.
Here's the irony: I thought that skipping the second venue and pulling directly would save me time (because of her "skinship" response, her positive compliance, and her being into seductive movies like 365, which told me she was super DTF). In reality, had I taken her to the second venue and done proper sexual prizing/comfort building and further physical escalation, I could have probably taken her home and escalated to sex immediately without any LMR. It would have actually been more time-efficient to do the second venue than to skip it.
The key takeaway here is, much like the previous girl, you really should not take shortcuts in seduction unless you are absolutely sure that the sexual frames are set, the comfort is established, arousal is there, and the objections have been dealt with. You either deal with LMR at the bar, or you deal with it at home. If you deal with it at the bar, you can save yourself time overall and "physically" leave it behind at the bar.
23yo HB8 - Daytime cold approach + date and pull (no close yet)
Last one. On Friday, I met for dinner with a girl who I had cold approached at the mall on Monday. We had already met for an informational coffee date on Tuesday, and I knew that we had excellent chemistry - and that she has only ever had one boyfriend (a good sign). This girl is cute and weird. She has a sweet, high-pitched voice, but sometimes swears uncontrollably which is totally out of character, and it absolutely cracks me up. She's optimistic and funny, and I make her laugh and smile. It's rare to meet a girl with whom the time just flies by when we're together.
Anyway, I structured this date a little better than the previous ones. We met at one metro station, got bubble tea, then walked through the park together (where I did some light physical escalation), then got food at the mall before bouncing back to mine.
Rather than go into detail, I'll just give an overview of how it progressed. Throughout the date, we were being silly and joking around a lot - as we did on the informational date. In the park, I touched her and pulled her in a fair bit. As we were sitting on a ledge, I tried to kiss her but she pulled away. We continued walking. As "punishment" for that lack of compliance, I dialled back the silliness, stopped touching her, and talked less. It worked. After a while, she pulled into me and thrust her hand into mine.
We went to a restaurant and sat next to each other. Here, as we were waiting for the food, the conversation turned to sex almost of its own accord (probably because I had been doing some very good, careful sexual prizing up till that point). Between tactical fractionation, I deployed my arsenal of sex talk gambits (Comfort and Trust, The Three Keys, the Eight Orgasms), which she ate up. The food arrived and the conversation vibe was good - laughing over sexual innuendos.
One thing I should mention is that the day after our informational date, something traumatic happened to this girl. In the middle of the night, a guy smashed her window and tried to get into her room (she lives on the 8th floor, so it had to have been a neighbour). Although unharmed, she went into a state of shock and had be hospitalized. In the morning she called me, sobbing. I comforted her, cheered her up, made her laugh. This undoubtedly forged a strong emotional bond, but I believe it also played a role in the LMR, along with her inexperience with fast seduction (her ex-BF of one year had to wait months for sex).
After dinner, although she was living with her parents far out of town (due to being forced to leave her condo), I could tell that she was aroused and wanted things to continue. I suggested we go back to mine and watch a movie together, to which she complied even though it was quite a journey in the opposite direction to reach my place.
We got to mine. This time, I did not put on a movie. I escalated on her almost immediately, picking her up and manhandling her, which she melted into (this is what I should have done with the last girl had I done proper sexual prizing, arousal and comfort-building at a second venue).
She was horny, as was I. We were grinding and kissing a lot. But I could tell that she still had PTSD from the attempted break-in. She had hardly slept in days, and any time a noise came from outside my window, she locked up and started to sob. In between deep emotional conversation, I would kiss her and try again to arouse her enough to break her LMR, but she always stopped herself before quite reaching the point of no return. She would say "I'm sorry, I'm not ready. I just can't stop thinking about it (the attempted break-in)."
I'm not sure what I could have done better with this one. It was (if I can admit) a very well-executed seduction with sexual prizing, arousal, comfort-building, combined with our powerful chemistry and emotional bonding. My conclusion is that the trauma created a mental block to sex for her. She's also never been seduced rapidly (she told me she and her ex-BF had already been dating and living together for months before they had sex for the first time), so it may have been a somewhat overwhelming experience for her.
Though I couldn't hide my disappointment, I'm not going to give up on this one. I'm fairly certain I will be able to close her when we next meet.
Takeaways
- What I love about the process of seduction and reflection is that I am constantly learning, growing, and fixing weaknesses in my game. My biggest lesson from this past week is the importance of not taking shortcuts in seduction. No matter how much you think a girl is DTF, if you skip sexual prizing, comfort-building and arousal, you will almost guaranteed face LMR. And you will very likely end up wasting more time overcoming that LMR than you would have had you NOT attempted to cut to the chase.
- Also, as a consequence of my game getting tighter and my fundamentals stronger, girls are a lot more drawn to me, but conversely they are also testing me harder. I've never had so many girls give me so many shit tests about being a "player". This is largely my own fault though, pulling girls to my place without having properly dealt with their objections. I think that if I tighten my sexual prizing and comfort-building, I will increase my close rate and reduce LMR.
If you read this novella to the end, I appreciate you!
Well, it seems that when it rains it pours. Perhaps it was two weeks of no sex and pent-up sexual energy bursting out, but this past week has been a complete turn-around, very quickly pulling some incredibly hot and fun girls into my life (all from cold approach too).
But I also seem to have run into what Hector described as the “player paradox” - as you get better and smoother at game, you face more challenges from girls, which translates into LMR.
Gonna try to run through the four pulls somewhat briefly, focusing on key bits of interest.
24yo HB7.8 - Night time cold approach instadate + close
Around 11:30pm on Saturday, I was taking the metro home after a nice evening catching up with an old friend. Upon arriving at my station, I noticed a girl walking slowly towards the exit, phone in hand. Something about the way she was dressed (somewhat revealing blouse with white linen pants - not exactly an "on display" outfit but definitely for the bar) and her slow vibe told me she had probably just come back from the bar, but was in no hurry to get home.
I took this as an opportunity and approached, complementing her on her vibe and style. She was a little hesitant, but hooked and stayed in the set. I asked what she was up to, she said she had been out at the bar with friends, but they decided to "go home early" (key signal there). After some light teasing and back-and-forth, I mentioned a nice cocktail lounge nearby and suggested we head there for a drink. She agreed, and off we went.
It was a pretty standard seduction. We sat on a sofa and ordered our drinks, me facing forward and her sitting slightly towards me (a very ideal position). I deep dived her, qualified, teased, and did some light sex talk gambits between fractionating. She was a bit quirky - a feisty girl with an attitude, sometimes unusually blunt with her responses. I didn't do a lot of explicit physical escalation other than some things with our hands, which I'll admit must have contributed to the LMR I faced later. But any time she gave negative compliance, I punished by looking away bored, letting there be pregnant pauses, and sometimes ignoring her and commenting on something in the bar. This seemed to have the desired effect of steadily increasing her compliance.
After an hour or so (and after having seeded the pull by mentioning I live a few minutes walk away, that I enjoy drinking in quiet places, and talking about our favourite music), I suggested we leave and go to another place. She said where, I said most other places are closed, but we could buy some drinks and head to mine.
Her reaction was unexpectedly blunt. She said "no way, we're not leaving this bar. We're gonna stay right here."
Well at this point I thought fuck this girl, maybe I should throw in the towel. But she was still facing me, watching me, and initiating conversation, which I took to mean that this was just a (rather provocative) shit test.
Well I saw an opportunity to punish her for this explicit negative compliance. As I was ignoring her and looking around at the various objects in the bar, two sexy girls in tight black dresses walked right in front of us to the door. I intentionally let my eyes follow them, checking them out in delight, all the while HB watched me intensely, then gave a look of disgust as I smiled at her. It was hilarious, and I knew it had the desired effect.
She gave me some more shit tests, which I don't exactly remember, but I think I navigated them well or brushed them off. I then said "let's get out of here" and, before she could respond, signalled to the bartender to bring the bill.
We stepped outside, and again she asked me where are we going. I just said "let's go get some drinks at 7-11", obviously implying what would happen next. We bought some drinks and walked to mine.
At my place, we settled in, I got out my laptop and asked her what her favourite music is. She was sitting on my chair, and it took some coaxing to get her to come over to the bed. Eventually I pulled her in to snuggle and smell her neck, which she half-resisted but then quickly gave in. We watched some music videos, then I went to kiss her which she rejected. More shit tests, more escalation attempts, more pushy resistance. It was 2am and I was getting a bit tired of the dance, but I knew I'd get her if I persisted.
Eventually she suggested sleeping over, saying something about not wanting to go back to her condo. I saw how it was going to play out now. We took turns showering (after rejecting my playful suggestion that we shower together lol), then I gave her a T-shirt and shorts and we hopped into bed. I turned off the lights, but opened the curtain to let some outside light in. Then I just escalated all the way to sex with no resistance.
To be honest, it was pretty good sex considering how bitchy and misbehaving she had been. She was incredibly wet. I also fucked her in the early morning, which was nice.
She said "in the morning, I'm leaving, and you'll never see me again". I said "well that's a shame, I really enjoyed our night." (We did keep texting a little, but I don't know if I actually want to meet her again).
It was a nice way to break a dry spell.
19yo HB8.8 - Evening cold approach + pull (no lay)
On Wednesday around 6:30pm, I had just gotten off the metro and was wandering around a nearby market, killing time before going to play tennis with a friend (a hot former FB turned tennis buddy - god I love cold approach!), when I spotted a girl walking around on full display in an extremely (and I mean almost seeing her nipples from my POV) revealing blouse and a sexy miniskirt. Of course, I was obliged to at least open her. I gave a direct compliment about her vibe, and she hooked quickly.
I asked what she was doing, she said nothing in particular as this was her day off. She told me she was 19. A more obvious SDL signal could not be given. I told her I'm about to go play tennis, but we should grab a drink later. She agreed, and we swapped numbers.
After tennis, I quickly showered, then met her at a bar a couple of stations away from my place. She arrived in the same outfit - and it seemed even more tantalising than I remembered (and she had some of the most beautiful natural breasts I've seen in my time here).
We had a drink and talked. I probed into her dating history and she told me she had just moved from the countryside and had actually never dated anyone before (which sounds implausible from the way she was dressed, but I could nonetheless tell that she was indeed sexually inexperienced).
After we finished the drinks, I suggested we go to another bar (near my place) where we could play pool. She agreed.
However, as we went down the four flights of stairs, it was clear that she was not handling the alcohol well (even though it was just one cocktail). She almost fainted and had to sit down for a few minutes. I suggested instead that we could just go and relax at my place, and no more drinks. She seemed to agree to that proposal (though when our taxi arrived at my place, she was a little confused - which makes me think there was some misunderstanding).
There's not too much to say about this one. I mistakenly shortcutted the seduction process, skipping a second venue where I would normally do sex talk gambits and physical escalation, because I thought she was DTF and an easy lay judging by the way she was dressed. What I think was actually the case, in hindsight, is that she was dressed like that because she is an inexperienced country girl who thought that THAT was the normal way for a girl to attract the attention of men (an unsurprising conclusion given that she works in a restaurant near the red light district). I got no indication that she was sexually aroused, and it seemed she didn't know how to respond to my attempts at sexual framing.
At my place, I tried physically escalating, but it did not work (I asked if she had ever kissed anyone, she said no). At some point, she said I seem like a bit of a player, and I think that was part of her reason for resistance (that combined with a lack of comfort, arousal, and pulling too quickly).
I tried a few times, but I could tell it was getting me nowhere. I got her a taxi home, and that was it. We continued texting a little, but I doubt I will see her again. Chalking this one up to a blunder of over-eagerness. Don't cut corners.
26yo HB8.5 - Early evening cold approach + date with close
On Thursday, I met up with a girl who I had cold approached on Tuesday evening (also at a metro station - you can guess what's my favourite place for cold approach lol). It was a rather spontaneous side approach as we were in a fast-moving crowd of people, which is normally less than ideal for cold approach, but I spotted this girl who had the most incredible body. I opened her from the side while we were walking, then moved her over to a gap away from the crowd.
Her response to my approach was receptive to say the least. As I was talking, she was gazing into my eyes and smiling as if this was some whirlwind romance. I knew this could be a definite SDL, but I did not have logistics in place (was far from my house) and I was about to go catch up with a friend. I number closed her and we parted ways.
So we met on Thursday for drinks. She arrived in a sexy, short, skin-tight black dress. Now I saw the shape of her breasts properly, and it instantly turned me on. The vibe, however, was somewhat less electrified than the day we had first met. I half-expected this to happen (which is why I'm increasingly in favour of going for instadate SDLs over scheduled dates to capitalize on the momentum of the moment).
I did some deep diving, but her English was quite poor so she mostly reverted to Thai (which I mostly understand but far from fluent). The conversation didn't exactly flow. But I've become accustomed to comfortably letting the silence sit when there's nothing good to talk about. I find that sometimes it's more powerful than constantly filling the silence - as I always felt the need to do in the past.
I asked her about her love language (which took some explaining), she said skinship and conversation. By now we were holding hands, and there was some nonverbal chemistry between us. However, due to the language barrier I still hadn't done much comfort-building or sexual prizing, which is a cornerstone of my game these days. Without it, I know I will face LMR.
I suggested we go to another bar, then got the bill. We headed out and started walking towards the bar near my place. On the way, we started talking about movies. She said she loves soppy romantic stuff like Twilight and 365 Days (a movie about softcore BDSM). This, combined with her "skinship" answer to the love languages question, made me conclude I could indeed move things faster.
As we got close to the bar, I said to her:
"You know, I've just got an idea. We could go to the bar and have another drink. Or we could grab something to drink at the 7-11 and watch a movie at mine. I wouldn't mind watching 365, haven't seen it yet (not true)."
She gave a mischievous smile, pointed her finger and said "I know what you're thinking!" I just led her with one hand on her back into the 7-11. We bought a couple of iced teas and went back to mine.
At mine, I showed her around, let her settle in, then got my laptop and put on the movie. As the movie got to the more sexual parts, I began to escalate on her, but encountered quite stiff resistance.
I realized at this point that, much like the previous 19yo girl I had failed to escalate with, the comfort and arousal was missing. By skipping the second venue and pulling the girl directly, I had skipped much of the escalation, sexual prizing and comfort-building that's necessary for fast sex with a girl without facing LMR.
I think she also had a certain fantasy about me in her mind when we first met (based on the romance movies she watches) which she was probably expecting me to live up to - a masculine, seductive man who dominates and takes what he wants - much like the sexy Italian protagonist in 365 Days. I'm not quite like that in reality, but it's a vibe I try to replicate.
Eventually, I could tell from her body language that she really needed more comfort. When she went to the bathroom, I closed the movie and switched to some Latin music videos, so that we could talk. Now her objections came up - saying she thinks I'm a player, asking if I do this with every girl, etc. It was a barrage of shit tests that I hadn't yet properly addressed, and sex could not happen until they were dealt with.
After a deep conversation in which I somehow conveyed the Comfort and Trust gambit and the Three Keys between a mangled mix of Thai and English, I escalated on her again, and had sex with no resistance.
Here's the irony: I thought that skipping the second venue and pulling directly would save me time (because of her "skinship" response, her positive compliance, and her being into seductive movies like 365, which told me she was super DTF). In reality, had I taken her to the second venue and done proper sexual prizing/comfort building and further physical escalation, I could have probably taken her home and escalated to sex immediately without any LMR. It would have actually been more time-efficient to do the second venue than to skip it.
The key takeaway here is, much like the previous girl, you really should not take shortcuts in seduction unless you are absolutely sure that the sexual frames are set, the comfort is established, arousal is there, and the objections have been dealt with. You either deal with LMR at the bar, or you deal with it at home. If you deal with it at the bar, you can save yourself time overall and "physically" leave it behind at the bar.
23yo HB8 - Daytime cold approach + date and pull (no close yet)
Last one. On Friday, I met for dinner with a girl who I had cold approached at the mall on Monday. We had already met for an informational coffee date on Tuesday, and I knew that we had excellent chemistry - and that she has only ever had one boyfriend (a good sign). This girl is cute and weird. She has a sweet, high-pitched voice, but sometimes swears uncontrollably which is totally out of character, and it absolutely cracks me up. She's optimistic and funny, and I make her laugh and smile. It's rare to meet a girl with whom the time just flies by when we're together.
Anyway, I structured this date a little better than the previous ones. We met at one metro station, got bubble tea, then walked through the park together (where I did some light physical escalation), then got food at the mall before bouncing back to mine.
Rather than go into detail, I'll just give an overview of how it progressed. Throughout the date, we were being silly and joking around a lot - as we did on the informational date. In the park, I touched her and pulled her in a fair bit. As we were sitting on a ledge, I tried to kiss her but she pulled away. We continued walking. As "punishment" for that lack of compliance, I dialled back the silliness, stopped touching her, and talked less. It worked. After a while, she pulled into me and thrust her hand into mine.
We went to a restaurant and sat next to each other. Here, as we were waiting for the food, the conversation turned to sex almost of its own accord (probably because I had been doing some very good, careful sexual prizing up till that point). Between tactical fractionation, I deployed my arsenal of sex talk gambits (Comfort and Trust, The Three Keys, the Eight Orgasms), which she ate up. The food arrived and the conversation vibe was good - laughing over sexual innuendos.
One thing I should mention is that the day after our informational date, something traumatic happened to this girl. In the middle of the night, a guy smashed her window and tried to get into her room (she lives on the 8th floor, so it had to have been a neighbour). Although unharmed, she went into a state of shock and had be hospitalized. In the morning she called me, sobbing. I comforted her, cheered her up, made her laugh. This undoubtedly forged a strong emotional bond, but I believe it also played a role in the LMR, along with her inexperience with fast seduction (her ex-BF of one year had to wait months for sex).
After dinner, although she was living with her parents far out of town (due to being forced to leave her condo), I could tell that she was aroused and wanted things to continue. I suggested we go back to mine and watch a movie together, to which she complied even though it was quite a journey in the opposite direction to reach my place.
We got to mine. This time, I did not put on a movie. I escalated on her almost immediately, picking her up and manhandling her, which she melted into (this is what I should have done with the last girl had I done proper sexual prizing, arousal and comfort-building at a second venue).
She was horny, as was I. We were grinding and kissing a lot. But I could tell that she still had PTSD from the attempted break-in. She had hardly slept in days, and any time a noise came from outside my window, she locked up and started to sob. In between deep emotional conversation, I would kiss her and try again to arouse her enough to break her LMR, but she always stopped herself before quite reaching the point of no return. She would say "I'm sorry, I'm not ready. I just can't stop thinking about it (the attempted break-in)."
I'm not sure what I could have done better with this one. It was (if I can admit) a very well-executed seduction with sexual prizing, arousal, comfort-building, combined with our powerful chemistry and emotional bonding. My conclusion is that the trauma created a mental block to sex for her. She's also never been seduced rapidly (she told me she and her ex-BF had already been dating and living together for months before they had sex for the first time), so it may have been a somewhat overwhelming experience for her.
Though I couldn't hide my disappointment, I'm not going to give up on this one. I'm fairly certain I will be able to close her when we next meet.
Takeaways
- What I love about the process of seduction and reflection is that I am constantly learning, growing, and fixing weaknesses in my game. My biggest lesson from this past week is the importance of not taking shortcuts in seduction. No matter how much you think a girl is DTF, if you skip sexual prizing, comfort-building and arousal, you will almost guaranteed face LMR. And you will very likely end up wasting more time overcoming that LMR than you would have had you NOT attempted to cut to the chase.
- Also, as a consequence of my game getting tighter and my fundamentals stronger, girls are a lot more drawn to me, but conversely they are also testing me harder. I've never had so many girls give me so many shit tests about being a "player". This is largely my own fault though, pulling girls to my place without having properly dealt with their objections. I think that if I tighten my sexual prizing and comfort-building, I will increase my close rate and reduce LMR.
If you read this novella to the end, I appreciate you!
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