Daygame: She doesn't know i'm not from this city

[Skjöldr]

Yo
So i daygamed today in the capital. Met an incredibly gorgeous university teacher (i'm just a 19 year old lol, she's probably in her early 30s). I ran up from behind her and approached her. We chit chatted back and forth and she agreed to go on a date. Took her number and messaged a few minutes later "Hi (name) this is (name) - save my number " and she messaged back 5 minutes later saying "Thanks!". Plan is to message her tomorrow and ask what her schedule is like but i have one problem: I'm not from the city.

I live about 1.5 hours away in train/car. I'm gonna ask her where she lives in the city and work out the date around that, so we can go back to hers if it goes well heehee.

But still she doesn't know i don't live in the capital, what do i do? You think she would mind? In hindsight i should have asked for an insta date but i'm a noob so it only struck me afterwards.

Also: should i call her or text her and should i do it tonight the same day or tomorrow around lunch/after work?

 

[Mondo]

In my experience, when you don't make a big deal out of something, they don't either. The opposite is true too.

Don't make a big deal out of it. If it comes up, let her know you spend time there because you like the city because yours can be too quiet or something, and just move on from it.

 

[Toby2030]

I don't think she will let you go straight to her home. I wouldn't try that. Figure out where she lives, and plan something close to where she lives. You can then try to use some plausible deniability to get to her home later on.

When it comes to the scenario that you don't live in Copenhagen, I would probably say that you are visiting a friend and staying there for the week under corona. Don't tell her that you travelled 1,5 hours to visit her.

Start by text, and if you sense that there's a high chance that she's around her phone and that she will pick it up, you call her.

 

[Skjöldr]

Thank you guys. Yeah that's what i meant. Not take her home straight away but still close enough. In a girlschase article "when to call her" or something by Ricardus he says to call her the next day if it is daygame. I got her number around noon, would it be too soon to text tonight or should i text tomorrow?

 

[Rakkum]

Thank you guys. Yeah that's what i meant. Not take her home straight away but still close enough. In a girlschase article "when to call her" or something by Ricardus he says to call her the next day if it is daygame. I got her number around noon, would it be too soon to text tonight or should i text tomorrow?

Hey man, good job! Probably safer bet to wait until next day.

 

[Mondo]

As for when, I’ve texted girls hours after I got their number and got a date with them the very next day.

There is no hard rule, but the important part is NOT coming across over-eager/needy/etc. The advice to wait is to help manage this, but if you communicate well enough that you're a cool, non-needy guy, then going straight for it can work.

 

[Skjöldr]

As for when, I’ve texted girls hours after I got their number and got a date with them the very next day.

There is no hard rule, but the important part is NOT coming across over-eager/needy/etc. The advice to wait is to help manage this, but if you communicate well enough that you're a cool, non-needy guy, then going straight for it can work.

Can't set up a date before next weekend earliest. Would you text same day hours later or the next day to set that up?

 

[Mondo]

Here's a rule of thumb you can use, think "what would a busy and attactive man do?"

He'd probably ping her a few times at first to see how she's doing and let her know he'd like to see again, but can't until later in the week. Then get on with his life until it's closer to when he's free and then schedule closer to that.

 

[Skjöldr]

Update: We made the date now. Gonna pick her up at her place on Saturday. Gonna take her out for drinks in a cafe early afternoon.

Do you guys think it's best to meet a girl out or to pick her up? What does the law of least effort say? In my opinion it doesn't really matter. Setting up the whole date thing i was cautious to ask her too much and just be assertive and set the plans, but i did ask her if i should pick her up and we could walk together or if we should meet out. She said "You're choosing" with a smiley face. I decided on picking her up.

Edit: I also asked what area she's from and planned the date around her place.

 

[Rakkum]

Do you guys think it's best to meet a girl out or to pick her up? What does the law of least effort say? In my opinion it doesn't really matter. Setting up the whole date thing i was cautious to ask her too much and just be assertive and set the plans, but i did ask her if i should pick her up and we could walk together or if we should meet out. She said "You're choosing" with a smiley face. I decided on picking her up.

From the Law of Least Effort point of view, I'd say it's better to meet at the venue, imo. But from a date compression perspective it's maybe good to that one extra step. Then again, you can add that step later on.

I personally almost always meet at the venue. I'll be there a bit early, relaxing, enjoying myself when she arrives.
Then again, that's what I prefer. If you think you would enjoy meeting her at her place and walking a bit, then I'd say go for that. Doing what you want to to is often a good thing to do

Good luck, man!

 

[Skjöldr]

Yes i would absolutely love it to pick her up. Also add that extra step as you said. Builds compliance with switching venues and sets that early frame that i am leading, so it ups my chances of getting a positive if i try and ask to go her place (using plausible deniability). I'm taking this easy as a learning experience at the worst. I still have a lot to learn but she seems very interested and mature.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Peterdk234 dude! Pick her up but change your attitude that you'd love to do it. It sounds like you've put her as very high value.

She's gave you the option here, the reason you pick her up is it's an assertive decision and although you look interested you look confident. You're leading the interaction, she's got no choice but to follow, you've changed venues already helping towards the 3 bounce method and it also implies you'll take her home...

You'd have to fuck up something amazing that she'd have to get a taxi home dude. This is also plausible deniability for why you're going back. You have to drop her off dude. This is much easier than when you've both drove there...

 

[Skjöldr]

@Peterdk234 dude! Pick her up but change your attitude that you'd love to do it. It sounds like you've put her as very high value.

She's gave you the option here, the reason you pick her up is it's an assertive decision and although you look interested you look confident. You're leading the interaction, she's got no choice but to follow, you've changed venues already helping towards the 3 bounce method and it also implies you'll take her home...

You'd have to fuck up something amazing that she'd have to get a taxi home dude. This is also plausible deniability for why you're going back. You have to drop her off dude. This is much easier than when you've both drove there...

Yeah my bad saying i would love to, it was more to be polite, but i can see how it puts her value up high. My date plan was to pick her up, walk us to the cafe, have a chat and a drink, go for a walk in the park, get some ice cream maybe, then walk around in the park again and then ask her if i should walk her home on a high note, so she maybe becomes like "oh i would like to spend more time with him..." and if she doesn't invite me home, i would use some plausible deniability like "I don't know if you have any plans for the rest of the day, but how about we go back to your place and put on a movie and hang out?" Or something. I have read in a few places now that older women are harder to lay on the first date, but i have to move fast with this chick because she lives far away.

Edit: I gotta go hard on the lover frame cuz since im barely 20 and she's in her 30s, she's probably not looking for a provider in me. Probably wants hot sex. Which i'm totally cool with. So i'm gonna push for first date sex. If she doesn't bring something cool up like she have something cool at her place or she draws or paints or something that i can use plausible deniability with, i'm gonna use the canned line.

Edit: Since i opened direct, she was super helpful when i took her number by offering multiple ones and took my phone and typed it in herself when i got confused, atleast 10 year age gap etc etc i dont think my chances are half as bad as i think. She probably wants sex.

 

[Rakkum]

Hey, Peter

My two cents.

then ask her if i should walk her home on a high note

Maybe you dint' mean it like this but don't put her in a situation where she has to decide for the both of you. It's your job to lead, she either agrees or disagrees with what you suggest or comes up with an alternative idea .

and if she doesn't invite me home

Don't expect her to invite you home even if she is dying to fuck you. ASD and all that.

and if she doesn't invite me home, i would use some plausible deniability like "I don't know if you have any plans for the rest of the day, but how about we go back to your place and put on a movie and hang out?"

Yes, exactly, plausible deniability! But doesn't "let's watch a movie and hang out" equate with "let's go to your place to fuck"? So it's not really plausible deniability , imho

Here's something I like to do: suggest cooking something simple but tasty together. Been doing this lately, lots of fun for me. Can they fucking resist gambas al ajillo, hahahaha!!? Hell no!! Also, stopping by the grocery store is another good option of compressing the date.

get some ice cream maybe

Would love to hear what other guys here think about it? For me, this looks a bit risky. Maybe she hasn't realized your age difference and if it comes up in your conversation then suggesting ice cream later on wouldn't help you solidify your frame as a mature, strong and sexy man.

Rakkum

 

[Skjöldr]

Hey, Peter

My two cents.



Maybe you dint' mean it like this but don't put her in a situation where she has to decide for the both of you. It's your job to lead, she either agrees or disagrees with what you suggest or comes up with an alternative idea .



Don't expect her to invite you home even if she is dying to fuck you. ASD and all that.



Yes, exactly, plausible deniability! But doesn't "let's watch a movie and hang out" equate with "let's go to your place to fuck"? So it's not really plausible deniability , imho

Here's something I like to do: suggest cooking something simple but tasty together. Been doing this lately, lots of fun for me. Can they fucking resist gambas al ajillo, hahahaha!!? Hell no!! Also, stopping by the grocery store is another good option of compressing the date.



Would love to hear what other guys here think about it? For me, this looks a bit risky. Maybe she hasn't realized your age difference and if it comes up in your conversation then suggesting ice cream later on wouldn't help you solidify your frame as a mature, strong and sexy man.

Rakkum

Got the line from here. How would you otherwise go about asking yourself back to her place? Good point about the ice cream. Idk about going back to her place to cook. The date's during the day.

 

[Skjöldr]

From searching up ice cream on girlschase i can't really see anywhere it is a no go haha. But you may have a point. On the other hand it could also make her feel young and fresh again to grab ice cream in the park with a hot dude. Could go both ways.

 

[Skjöldr]

I'm gonna make a separate post about plausible deniability to go back to her place. To clear up about how much is too much and how much is too little.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Peterdk234 dude! If you're picking her up why are you doing so much walking? Or do you mean you're meeting her at her house? Then that makes a little more sense to me.

I don't like your frame of we'll walk around the park and chat again, then she'll think oh I want to hang out with him more... and asking her should I walk her home. Very nervous, very nice guy, you might as well ask her for permission to kiss her and hold her hand while you're at it dude.

Sorry that was harsh, but it's like you're asking her to like you. It's that internal view you need to change if you want her to see you as a lover. If you're leading you decide when the date ends it should be I'll walk you home. You've told her what you're going to do. She might hint at you and be it's getting cold or something, you can flip that yourself.

I wouldn't bank on her inviting you home as @Rakkum dude said. You need some plausible deniability. Also considering its her place although you're leading you can't impose yourself on her home, that needs an invite. If she mentions a movie, music, painting you've got an in to suggest it otherwise you've got to propose it in a way that it's her idea.

If you want to push the lover frame hard the wording of I don't know if you've got any plans today but hopefully, maybe, you don't have to, would you like maybe just hopefully want to go back to yours and watch movies? isn't a great offer.

Screen what she's doing while you're chatting so you know if she's free, tell her you should go and watch movies. This implies she's already said yes and you're very confident she'll say yes. This will stop you floundering when she tells you she's busy even if it's actually true dude

 

[Skjöldr]

Yeah you're right. Statements not questions as Perrion says. I will just lead her and walk round the park and when i sense it's time to go back to her place i'll just say "Let's go here... This way... Over here..." Until we end up back when we started. Then if i screened for anything cool at her place like "I have a really cool apartment/I paint/I play music" i'll respond with "Cool, i would love to see that" and then later on be like "We should go check out your X/Y/Z" or just movies because it implies her place anyways.

Also yeah, i'm picking her up at her place and walking us to the café