I'm posting this for those guys who—like me—have a tendency to think the worst and harbor approach anxiety when not in state.
Yesterday I was walking down the street in Chicago (not my town)...i was there for the day for a business meeting.
Saw this sexy woman with really long straight brown hair, tight black jeans and stiletto boots walking in front of me, and I determined to approach.
I don't approach cold like that much...I usually need some kind of context.
She was walking REALLY fast, to the point that I had trouble keeping up with her.
I was all in my head about it, thinking she must realize I was in lock step with her and feel frightened.
I was sort of waiting for her to turn her head before doing anything. It never happened.
I sped up, got alongside her and said "Hey can I ask you a question real quick?"
Turns out she had headphones on, and had not even realized I was there.
She was very startled and I immediately apologized and stepped back.
But she was not at all frightened, creeped out, angry or ANY of those negative things.
IN fact—she was very friendly, stopped, and went out of her way to help me find a good pizza place on her smart phone.
We chatted for a few minutes despite the freezing cold, I didn't ask for her number because she wasn't that cute from the front (a 7 in my book—I like 8+)
and because I was meeting another girl later on. But I feel she would have agreed if I told her to give me her number.
The point is——SO much of approach anxiety is completely unfounded.
Here there were not one but TWO myths busted:
1. a woman walking quickly on a city street won't stop, or will be frightened by a man approaching
2. a woman wearing headphones does not want to be disturbed.
I know this knowledge will help me in future approached.
By the way, i was dressed in a suit for a business meeting, but I had my "Tony Montana" long leather jacket on top of that.
So some combination of "Smart" and "Scary"...it's my "Scary Smart look." ;>)
Yesterday I was walking down the street in Chicago (not my town)...i was there for the day for a business meeting.
Saw this sexy woman with really long straight brown hair, tight black jeans and stiletto boots walking in front of me, and I determined to approach.
I don't approach cold like that much...I usually need some kind of context.
She was walking REALLY fast, to the point that I had trouble keeping up with her.
I was all in my head about it, thinking she must realize I was in lock step with her and feel frightened.
I was sort of waiting for her to turn her head before doing anything. It never happened.
I sped up, got alongside her and said "Hey can I ask you a question real quick?"
Turns out she had headphones on, and had not even realized I was there.
She was very startled and I immediately apologized and stepped back.
But she was not at all frightened, creeped out, angry or ANY of those negative things.
IN fact—she was very friendly, stopped, and went out of her way to help me find a good pizza place on her smart phone.
We chatted for a few minutes despite the freezing cold, I didn't ask for her number because she wasn't that cute from the front (a 7 in my book—I like 8+)
and because I was meeting another girl later on. But I feel she would have agreed if I told her to give me her number.
The point is——SO much of approach anxiety is completely unfounded.
Here there were not one but TWO myths busted:
1. a woman walking quickly on a city street won't stop, or will be frightened by a man approaching
2. a woman wearing headphones does not want to be disturbed.
I know this knowledge will help me in future approached.
By the way, i was dressed in a suit for a business meeting, but I had my "Tony Montana" long leather jacket on top of that.
So some combination of "Smart" and "Scary"...it's my "Scary Smart look." ;>)
