FR Daytime Cold Approach! :) How to persist without chasing over text?

[KJ Francis]

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Am I chasing and/or coming across needy here? Was it a mistake to not make a date the plan A and run solid game?

I probably went too far since I really wanted my first SDL, though not sure if it counts if you time bridge, even if it's all within a few hours. It went to texting so I didn't want to try to arouse by being too explicit and blow it up with ASD. But she seemed really into me so I still attempted the booty call.

I am pretty happy I got this far, since I haven't done a daytime approach since the architect (who I am meeting next week for date #4, but logistics are now extremely improved. She was also traveling for a full month). Not counting one girl with a boyfriend whose number I got but went cold after light innuendo.

***

I was about half hour away from home and stopped at a Whole Foods. This girl was giving out samples of little waffles. I asked if it was real maple syrup. She said yes and that she didn't like the fake stuff. Then she said you can get real good stuff from a certain restaurant.

I asked about other places she liked and she was very talkative and inserting a lot of of random knowledge. I did some shallow diving and she was loving talking about herself and traveling and living abroad, etc. I didn't flirt much as people were taking samples, but our eye contact was totally locked in. I was getting a slight stiffy and the mirror neurons were definitely firing, so the vibe was slightly sexual. I had a good voice "purr" going on Chase has written about.

I asked if she ever comes to my city and said said let's exchange numbers. She said "yeah let's hang out".

***

Me: Great chatting with you [her name]. Always nice to meet an adventurous spirit.
-Francis

Her: Likewise. I agree. How long have you been living in [city]?

Me: Just a week! Do you enjoy [town] other than being near family?

Her: Oh wow, it's great to live in [city]. I like that [town] is a lake community, it's centrally located and despite it being a small town it does have a fair amount of events year round. In the Summer I go to concerts on the lake every week.

Me: Sounds like an attractive balance, with both a serene environment and interesting things to explore. You must be itching for some excitement during winter then?

Her: I suppose. Winter can be boring but my dog keeps me active even though I hate the cold.

Me: That's good you still stay physical. I wasn't expecting this snow today. Are you staying in cozy tonight?

Her: Yea, I'm much more active in the Summer though. I have to force myself in this weather! I'm over it! I am snuggling with my dog tonight!

Me: Good plan! Wouldn't want to leave tonight. I will be passing through heading home. What if I stopped in.. Could you warm me with a tea?

Her: Maybe another night. I'm about to start a movie.

Me: No worries. Though a movie vs. an unexpected serendipitous meeting.. You sure? We can just chat. You can send me back into the cold any time

Her: It's tempting but I'm afraid it will have to be another time.

Me: It's ok! Maybe you can join me at [a place she knows is right next to my apartment] sometime. Unless there's some concern I can address

Her: That would be cool. I prefer meeting new people in public. I listen to too many podcasts...

Me: Oh I can appreciate that. I suppose it just felt like a good vibe and chance encounter. You could hold my ID? Lol half joking

[No answer]

Me: Tell you what [her name].. We can meet another time but I am going to stop at [town cafe] in half hour for a tea either way and want you to come for a chat

Me: It's totally ok regardless. I just can't not persist when I am passing through and you say you are tempted. Otherwise enjoy the movie and snuggling!

Her: Liked “Oh I can appreciate that. I suppose it just felt l…” [this is iPhone to Android emoji reaction to message]

Her: It's been a really long week for me so I am just wiped out to be honest. I rarely have time to just veg & watch a movie so I've been looking forward to just doing nothing.

Me: I completely understand. I would like to join you and wish there was some way you could feel comfort and trust me, but I understand the feeling getting off work

 

[Atlas IV]

Her: Maybe another night. I'm about to start a movie.

I would have cut it off here - "no worries, enjoy your cozy night in!" then ping her a day or two later for a date. I don't think you can persuade a girl via text for a DTF date like that unless she's already on the fence, which she clearly wasn't yet.

Also, just a theory here, but I find that it's hard to pull a girl away from her dog - especially if it's a big fluffy thing. The animal is a sink for physical affection and emotional connection - some of the needs she would have met with a guy are already satisfied, so she feels less inclined to take up invitations like the one you offered, or to go out in search of connection. They also make logistics a pain in the ass. I almost avoid girls with big dogs for this reason lol

 

[KJ Francis]

I would have cut it off here - "no worries, enjoy your cozy night in!" then ping her a day or two later for a date. I don't think you can persuade a girl via text for a DTF date like that unless she's already on the fence, which she clearly wasn't yet.

Also, just a theory here, but I find that it's hard to pull a girl away from her dog - especially if it's a big fluffy thing. The animal is a sink for physical affection and emotional connection - some of the needs she would have met with a guy are already satisfied, so she feels less inclined to take up invitations like the one you offered, or to go out in search of connection. They also make logistics a pain in the ass. I almost avoid girls with big dogs for this reason lol

Fuck... I hate how right you are lol.

It feels very weird to me to just accept the initial no and not at least persist a couple times. I feel like there's always some level of resistance a girl will throw up that I chalk up to subconscious screening for a dominant male. But alas the game is played in real life.

The whole time I knew I hadn't actually gamed her yet. Like no arousal, no second gen nonjudgmental frames, no lover prizing, no real comfort yet... Just like a 5-10 min interaction with zero touch.

Wanting to capitalize on the momentum was basically the opposite of outcome independence.

And I think you're right about the dogs lol it's true that whatever her current emotional state is will be 100% her reality. It's hard to wrap the logical male brain around this, trying to see all the moving cogs with a mind for the future. It's a bigger compliance ask than it initially seemed. She doesn't just have to open her front door. She has to give up that current emotional state with the dog. And maybe hasn't showered, shaved her pussy, cleaned her toilet, etc.

Thanks Atlas