There's this really cute girl who I feel likes me, but has been giving me some resistance. I'm glad I noticed her "giving me the eyes" before when I approached her. A lesser me would have been too timid or oblivious in the past to make a move.
Anyways, I managed to get her number and go out with her. We went out for some ice cream after work, then we stopped at my place afterwards. I even took her into my bedroom and showed her my bass guitar. She gave me this really sweet compliment after playing for her, even though it was basically the simplest melody ever. I made my move, going in for the kiss. She backs away, telling me she's uncomfortable with it and asks me to go slow.
She then opened up to me about some of her past experiences, like how her ex cheated on her with two strippers, how guys ditched her alone for not sleeping with them, and she told me she was raped while intoxicated once. Is this a positive step? She did open up to me, and good seductionists are supposed to be good listeners, right? I guess I didn't push too hard, because I didn't want to scare her off from being too aggressive, and there's the fact that she's also my coworker.
We did go to the hot tub afterwards. It was her idea by the way.
We relaxed a bit, but it was like we were playing this funny game where when I got close to her, she would move away. I get close to her again, a few minutes later she moves away. There was some light flirting go on. I asked to see her belly piercing. Also I asked to see some of her belly dancing, including the following transcript.
Me: Later tonight?
Her: Maybe.
Me: <flirty interjection> I like the sound of that.
After we left the hot tub, she thanked me for taking her and said she wouldn't have gone if I hadn't taken her. After walking her to her place, I tried for another kiss. Got what seemed kind of like play resistance. She was giggling and saying "Oh my god." She was still walking away from my physical advances. She was more receptive to my arm being around her on the way back though.
Other highlights of the night:
-She asked me a jealous question. When I mentioned friends cooking for me, she asked if they were girls.
-Divulged to me that another guy from work has been hitting pretty hard on her. Complained that he looked like a druggie and how he was a loser because he still lived with his mom.
-Indirectly admitted liking me when she brought up how she was looking at me before I approached her. I flirted a little saying, "You think I'm handsome." She said "yes".
Seemed a little clingy and/or afraid I would leave her, after we were done soaking in the hot tub.
-Expressed interest in moving to my apartment.
-I told her I like to lift weights. When I walked her home she asked if she could go work out with me.
-Asked me personal questions, including about past relationships.
So, have I been boyfriend zoned? If I understand right, that's not much better than being friend zoned, because it means she will wait a long time before having sex with me, assuming she even does. I feel like there's the chase flirting thing going on where she seems interested, but she might make me chase her. I suppose she could just be wasting my time, but she's been sending me enough signals that it doesn't seem likely. I think she'd be the first to get jealous if I was with another girl.
Do I just need to be a little more persistent? Maybe actually physically chase her a bit when she physically moves away? What's the best way to sexually escalate this? How would you deal with a girl who says, "I'm not comfortable." or "Go slow." when you approach her?
She seems somewhat like the California girl type. I've had other girls like that or the sorority girl type, who have shown interest in me. Wonder if there would be a particular reason for that. (i.e. California and sorority girls get lots of attention, are pretty, and therefore are more confident, even around handsome guys.)
Anyways, I managed to get her number and go out with her. We went out for some ice cream after work, then we stopped at my place afterwards. I even took her into my bedroom and showed her my bass guitar. She gave me this really sweet compliment after playing for her, even though it was basically the simplest melody ever. I made my move, going in for the kiss. She backs away, telling me she's uncomfortable with it and asks me to go slow.
She then opened up to me about some of her past experiences, like how her ex cheated on her with two strippers, how guys ditched her alone for not sleeping with them, and she told me she was raped while intoxicated once. Is this a positive step? She did open up to me, and good seductionists are supposed to be good listeners, right? I guess I didn't push too hard, because I didn't want to scare her off from being too aggressive, and there's the fact that she's also my coworker.
We did go to the hot tub afterwards. It was her idea by the way.
We relaxed a bit, but it was like we were playing this funny game where when I got close to her, she would move away. I get close to her again, a few minutes later she moves away. There was some light flirting go on. I asked to see her belly piercing. Also I asked to see some of her belly dancing, including the following transcript.Me: Later tonight?
Her: Maybe.
Me: <flirty interjection> I like the sound of that.
After we left the hot tub, she thanked me for taking her and said she wouldn't have gone if I hadn't taken her. After walking her to her place, I tried for another kiss. Got what seemed kind of like play resistance. She was giggling and saying "Oh my god." She was still walking away from my physical advances. She was more receptive to my arm being around her on the way back though.
Other highlights of the night:
-She asked me a jealous question. When I mentioned friends cooking for me, she asked if they were girls.
-Divulged to me that another guy from work has been hitting pretty hard on her. Complained that he looked like a druggie and how he was a loser because he still lived with his mom.
-Indirectly admitted liking me when she brought up how she was looking at me before I approached her. I flirted a little saying, "You think I'm handsome." She said "yes".
Seemed a little clingy and/or afraid I would leave her, after we were done soaking in the hot tub.
-Expressed interest in moving to my apartment.
-I told her I like to lift weights. When I walked her home she asked if she could go work out with me.
-Asked me personal questions, including about past relationships.
So, have I been boyfriend zoned? If I understand right, that's not much better than being friend zoned, because it means she will wait a long time before having sex with me, assuming she even does. I feel like there's the chase flirting thing going on where she seems interested, but she might make me chase her. I suppose she could just be wasting my time, but she's been sending me enough signals that it doesn't seem likely. I think she'd be the first to get jealous if I was with another girl.
Do I just need to be a little more persistent? Maybe actually physically chase her a bit when she physically moves away? What's the best way to sexually escalate this? How would you deal with a girl who says, "I'm not comfortable." or "Go slow." when you approach her?
She seems somewhat like the California girl type. I've had other girls like that or the sorority girl type, who have shown interest in me. Wonder if there would be a particular reason for that. (i.e. California and sorority girls get lots of attention, are pretty, and therefore are more confident, even around handsome guys.)
