- Joined
- Jul 14, 2013
- Messages
- 230
This is my inaugural post, though I've been reading the site for more than half-a-year.
Here's the situation:
After an extremely long dry spell (1.5 years), armed with the fundamentals courtesy of Chase, I had intercourse with a girl who initiated contact with me on our first night of meeting. She was on vaca from my native country (I'm an immigrant). We spent 3 consecutive nights in my town, and then I chased her down to SF for the weekend, where we made a deep emotional connection.
Up to now, I haven't been thinking of getting a girlfriend because in the past I've noticed that I become complacent. As readers of GC know, girls naturally and continuously hone their skills by having men approach/chase them all the time. Some of us men have to exert effort in order to keep this skill sharp. A monogamous relationship tends to atrophy our seduction muscles.
I'm now almost 30 years old. While I feel like I have had some amazing experiences (lived in various countries, traveled to obscure places, made truly great friends the world over, have generally not lead a mundane 9-5 existence), I feel a sense of inadequacy in the female department. This is the impetus for wanting to keep meeting women and improve my skills.
Simultaneously, hanging out with this lady also reminded me of the importance of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. In addition to fulfilling sexual desires, she also fills my emotional needs. These both are needs that I have pretty much ignored for the past 2 years as I was busy improving my career prospects in a field that is very important for society. I truly felt a sense of calm after we had sex. I was excited about getting past the base physical stage and onto developing an ever-deeper emotional connection.
I have ambitions to make an impact in the world and not lead a standard life. One thing I'm beginning to realize is the importance of a having a partner that would support my endeavors. Chase's article on What to Look for In a Girlfriend buttresses the idea that this girl would potentially make for a good partner-in-crime.
The question is, how do I balance maintaining a relationship with this girl, working on my independent career prospects, and also still improving my skills with women? Is it even realistic, given the fact that she's far away and it's basically a logistics nightmare (she likes me a lot, of course, and is willing to come back to US to hang out/live a little)? Is it better to just cut the relationship, set her free and move on?
I realize that I may be seeing my relationship with the girl thru the prism of scarcity. The fact is, we've known each other for only 2 weeks, and she's now back in Russia. On the other hand, I've noticed that I have a fear of committment with women. I have a very good feeling about this girl and it would be foolish to pass up an opportunity for a fulfilling relationship. I realize noone can make the decision for me, just curious to hear thoughts.
Here's the situation:
After an extremely long dry spell (1.5 years), armed with the fundamentals courtesy of Chase, I had intercourse with a girl who initiated contact with me on our first night of meeting. She was on vaca from my native country (I'm an immigrant). We spent 3 consecutive nights in my town, and then I chased her down to SF for the weekend, where we made a deep emotional connection.
Up to now, I haven't been thinking of getting a girlfriend because in the past I've noticed that I become complacent. As readers of GC know, girls naturally and continuously hone their skills by having men approach/chase them all the time. Some of us men have to exert effort in order to keep this skill sharp. A monogamous relationship tends to atrophy our seduction muscles.
I'm now almost 30 years old. While I feel like I have had some amazing experiences (lived in various countries, traveled to obscure places, made truly great friends the world over, have generally not lead a mundane 9-5 existence), I feel a sense of inadequacy in the female department. This is the impetus for wanting to keep meeting women and improve my skills.
Simultaneously, hanging out with this lady also reminded me of the importance of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. In addition to fulfilling sexual desires, she also fills my emotional needs. These both are needs that I have pretty much ignored for the past 2 years as I was busy improving my career prospects in a field that is very important for society. I truly felt a sense of calm after we had sex. I was excited about getting past the base physical stage and onto developing an ever-deeper emotional connection.
I have ambitions to make an impact in the world and not lead a standard life. One thing I'm beginning to realize is the importance of a having a partner that would support my endeavors. Chase's article on What to Look for In a Girlfriend buttresses the idea that this girl would potentially make for a good partner-in-crime.
The question is, how do I balance maintaining a relationship with this girl, working on my independent career prospects, and also still improving my skills with women? Is it even realistic, given the fact that she's far away and it's basically a logistics nightmare (she likes me a lot, of course, and is willing to come back to US to hang out/live a little)? Is it better to just cut the relationship, set her free and move on?
I realize that I may be seeing my relationship with the girl thru the prism of scarcity. The fact is, we've known each other for only 2 weeks, and she's now back in Russia. On the other hand, I've noticed that I have a fear of committment with women. I have a very good feeling about this girl and it would be foolish to pass up an opportunity for a fulfilling relationship. I realize noone can make the decision for me, just curious to hear thoughts.
