I had a recent experience where a guy I met was trying to deep dive me without sharing much about himself.
I started thinking that the guy is shady and is mostly trying to get something from me.
This experience makes me think whether using deep diving with other people without sharing much about me would make them feel the same.
Would you say that deep dive is best reserved for women and Deep diving more socially and power aware folks will most likely backfire.
Depends on the vibe of the person. I suspect the vibe/energy was lower and you could tell that he wasn't all that personally interested in you as a human being. That throws up alarm bells in your head saying "what does this person want?"
Or you're just a paranoid person. I've certainly been there.
In addition, he might not have had any social context/glue for what he was talking to you about or asking about or even being around you in the first place. For example, if you're deep diving a girl on the date you don't have to socially finagle your way into creating context for what you want to ask about. Because that context is already provided via the date itself. It's socially accepted and expected that you learn about each other.
But, imagine this scenario (which I'm not using in a deep diving context but rather a chit-chat context so you can see what I'm talking about easier):
You're at a wedding event and some guy you don't know comes up to you and starts asking you questions:
1/Him: Hey man, you having fun?
2/You: Uh.. yeah, good times
1: Nice, well what do you think about the food here?
2: It's good I guess
1: Cool, cool, and what about the band?
2: Uhhh... I guess it was alright. But hey it was nice meeting you but I gotta go check up on my friend. Later
Kinda weird right? That's because he came at you in a way where he clearly had an agenda and was just firing off questions, almost like a survey. He didn't put up any threatening alarm bells and even seemed like an alright fellow. But you could tell he wasn't all that into you for you. Which means that he didn't have any social glue to be talking to you and neither did he create any and finally, he wasn't even interested in your answers which is a big conversational no-no.
Which is fine, because now go back to the wedding event and instead imagine a different guy walking up to you to talk to you:
1: Hey man, real quick I'm working for the event company that organized this entire wedding, do you mind if I ask you a few things for two minutes?
2: That's fine
1: Well first of all, are you having a good time?
2: Yeah it's a good time
1: Nice, well what do you think about the food here?
2: It's good
1: Cool, cool and finally, what about the band?
2: Yeah it's a good rock band. They did alright
Suddenly it's not quite as weird, is it?
That's because the second guy created social glue/context for why he was trying to pick your brain (as well as other stuff like a time bridge but I won't go there). He was working the event and his boss probably wants him to ask random guests these dumbass questions. You can tell he's not really into it but it has nothing to do with you, which is fine because it's his job to do it and you understand that.
Now, we can go into how he could have made some witty comments or follow-up questions so it wasn't quite as robotic, but even still you understand why he's there, why he's asking you questions and it doesn't even matter if he's interested in you as a human being (doesn't mean sexually/romantically, just on a human level)
The reason for this is because of creepiness. Creepiness is basically a feeling of psychological discomfort or even pain (term: cognitive dissonance). The reason that you get cognitive dissonance is because your conscious mind (the dumb part) doesn't see any red flags of behavior going on. There's nothing threatening you or anything like that. But something doesn't quite feel right...
Even if you don't ask yourself the question with the first example guy of 'why is he here?' your subconscious mind has already asked that question 5 minutes ago. Why is this guy here? Are we about to be mugged??? We don't know... and the unknown is dangerous! We gotta warn our conscious mind immediately! Which then turns into cognitive dissonance/brain discomfort which gets translated into creepiness. Which is what you felt when that guy tried to deep dive you.
However, had there been greater social glue between you then it most likely would have been alright.
Or again, maybe you're just a paranoid person lmao. It happens