Deflecting the "How Tall Are You" Question.

[Bboy100]

Hey guys,

So, I've had several girls over Tinder ask me how tall I am. Usually, its not a problem. But there have been several cases now (enough that its worth posting about) where they completely flaked on me after I told them I was 5'9" (175 cm). In fact, just earlier today, I had a date set up and she canceled on me 2 hours before I was supposed to meet her because of this. Its pretty easy to deflect questions like this IRL using the right voice tone and vibe. But over text, I can't really figure out a socially calibrated way of doing it. I can really only think of three ways:

1.
Her: How Tall are you?
Me: Tall enough to party! ;p

The issue with this one is that its the goofy low status, unattractive type of humor. Plus, it faces the same type of issue as #3.

2.
Her: How tall are you?
Me: Tall enough.

While this one can work IRL, it seems kinda shady and dodgy over text. Especially since she's never met me before.

3.
Her: How tall are you?
Me: I'm like, 2'0".

This one is obviously a joke, and its me making fun of myself. Probably the best one out of the three. But if its really important to her, she'll probably push on. So continuing with the interaction:
Her: haha, really though, how tall are you?
Me: Ok, I don't like to brag but...I'm 16!'

Then she might ask again etc.

The issue with being dodgy in this way is that even though I'm making a joke of it, the fact that I obviously don't want to tell her still probably seems sketchy. And I feel like I could lose girls who otherwise might have had no problem with my height because they might assume I'm REALLY short instead of average. Additionally, depending on how she interprets it (lack of tonality and facial expressions is what causes the ambiguity), it could also look like the low status/goofy type of a humor.

The other issue with avoiding the question in the first place is that she might be asking for a perfectly innocent reason (ex. I've had a few girls ask me so they know whether or not to wear heels).

Thoughts on how to avoid this question online/over text in an elegant way?

 

[Richard]

I'd probably go with something like:

Her: How tall are you?
Me: Well, I can get on the rides at Six Flags!

If she presses onwards then I'd just go with something like:

Me: I'm actually just shy of 6 feet.

That way she gets an idea of how tall you are without it being too concrete. Leave it up to her imagination to imagine how tall you are and she'll be investing some mental energy into you and if she's asking the question for an innocent reason then she's getting all the answer she needs.

-Richard

 

[Bboy100]

Me: I'm actually just shy of 6 feet.

That way she gets an idea of how tall you are without it being too concrete. Leave it up to her imagination to imagine how tall you are and she'll be investing some mental energy into you and if she's asking the question for an innocent reason then she's getting all the answer she needs.

I like this a lot! Thanks Richard.

 

[Ross]

Since height is typically tied to attractiveness I'd say that it'll be best to try to make it look like you aren't covering up anything.

Typically with these situations you don't want to actually answer their question. She's setting up a screen for you, and it's best to avoid directly answering and either qualifying/disqualifying yourself. But since this is Tinder, and there's already a huge element of mystery, you need to answer in a way that gets her connected and invested in you.

The playful style that Richard recommends works well, because it's fun and doesn't give her the answer too quickly. You're getting her to expend more effort to realize the answer to her screen. I'd say if she presses even a little bit more for the answer, throw her a bone and give a decent indication, such as the "just shy of 6 feet" nomer in your case.

 

[GeneralFap]

Just lie. Girls lie about themselves all the time, so why shouldnt we? Just say youre 5'10 or 5'11. Wear some boots if you want to add a little boost

 

[Fuck This]

"Lying on my back or standing on my feet?"

 

[Bboy100]

Richard, I just tested what you asked earlier today and it worked pretty effectively.

Her: Just one more question: How Tall are you?

Me: Tall enough to ride the rides at six flags! ;p

Her: Oh god! You're not like, 5'5" or anything are you?

Me: Na, I'm a little bit shy of 6 foot.

Her: Oh good! ....


I got to second base with her on the date. Unfortunately, despite persisting for about an hour, addressing her logical objections and trying to get her horny enough to ignore her logical decision not to, it still didn't work. Apparently her therapist told her not to have sex with more guys and she's sticking to it. LOL.

But yeah, thanks for this. It seems like it works.