Deliberate practice of sitting approaches

[FieryVegetableMarlin]

Hello,

I went through a few of Chase's posts on approaching girls who are sitting such as this one. I have tried the "sit and open" tactic in that post a couple of times, and it has worked for me only once out of 10 approaches (meaning led to an actual date), so now I want to try out the "sudden approach" tactic outlined in that post.

My main problem is that I come from a somewhat conservative family background, and have been pretty nerdy for most of life, so I find it hard to come up with good openers and compliments for this particular approach, which seems to require a very direct approach. However, I am willing to spend time on the field, make mistakes and learn from them.

Can someone in this forum please advise me on setting up a good framework for getting better at approaches on working on specific parts such as compliments, touch and communication, specifically focusing on the "sudden approach" tactic?

 

[ulrich]

Genuine compliments for a girls clothing or style are, in my opinion, the best way to go.

They are direct, paint you as a bold, intelligent and a person who pays attention and notices stuff.
Yet, they are indirect enough for a girl to wonder if you just like her style or you like her… so it introduces some mystery in the interaction.

The key is complimenting something she did/does (her clothes, her style, the way she walks, her tattoos, etc…) instead of something she doesn’t control (the color of her eyes, her figure, her face, etc…)

 

[Don Giovanni]

If you're gonna sit and open then indirect is more appropriate. A comment about the environment or something casual (better), her outfit (like @uriel said) will do. But dial down compliments when you're opening after sitting with her. You can also walk past her and deliver a genuine compliment over your shoulder and after a few moments of small talk ask her if you can sit with her. It's awkward to be standing and talking to a person who's sitting.

I suspect you're talking day game? Then don't think about touch too much, but do build a connection and a compliance ladder. More importantly if you're a beginner focus on your state, you want to get over that feeling of approach anxiety and anxiety in general when talking to girls.

As always examples of your conversations will help us see what you're doing right and wrong. From what you wrote we can just guess.

 

[Proper]

I'm beginner-intermediate with Day Game Cold Approaches, and I've gotten relatively higher success rates with approaching sitting girls over standing/walking girls, so this bit of advice might help.

Here's my trick:
- spot a girl sitting on a long bench of some sort, where there's a decent amount of space to the right or left of her
- be on your phone, walk by her, and sit down (while still looking at your phone) about 1.5 seats away from her, and continue pretending to play with your phone for about 15 seconds after sitting.
- the 1.5 seats is important, because you don't want to awkwardly sit right next to her, especially if there are other open seats nearby. But you also don't want to sit too far away that she won't be able to hear you when you open (after you open, you can casually scoot closer and closer to her)
- after 15 seconds, put your phone down, scan around as if you're just people watching, then open her with something indirect
- the indirect open can be anything, notice something about the environment, talking about the weather, asking her a question, etc.
- then just continue the chit chat and see if it goes anywhere. I've gotten several numbers/dates this way

Funny, once, I was eating an ice cream, and a girl sat 1.5 seats next to me, and I decided to open her, it worked exactly the same way (maybe it was an approach invitation? Unsure, though she was above average in warmth when I opened her).

This only works with long benches or people sitting on some part of the city infrastructure. It wouldn't work for a girl sitting at a small table by herself. I've only gotten that latter situation to work once for me so far, as it's more clear you're specifically choosing to sit next to her, so it's harder to maintain plausible deniability.

 

[FieryVegetableMarlin]

Thank you everyone for your kind advice. I went out and practiced this technique and actually did end up with a few numbers and dates. Here are some of my approaches that went well. Please let me know if there are any areas here that I can improve upon.

1. Girl sitting in the library
Saw a girl dressed in a bright pink shirt and striped pants studying at the University library. Observed her for a few minutes, and let her see me from afar. Then while she was engrossed in her work, I walked upto her, and direct opened by complimenting on her attire, telling her that its a splendid outfit. She said thanks, and then I introduced myself. We spoke a bit about her major and what she does in the university, where she is from, etc. The library requires strict silence so I asked her if we could meet for a coffee later. She said yes and gave me her Instagram ID. I texted her later, and have setup a basic meeting over coffee next week.

2. Girl sitting the cafeteria
Went and sat next to a girl busy with her laptop at the cafeteria. Opened with "So do you always sit her by yourself?" as shown in this post. She said "no.. I'm just working right now, usually I'm with friends". Then I asked her if I can join her, to which she said yes. She shut her laptop as I made my way to her seat. We spoke at length about what she does here, where she is from and why she has taken up her current course. I asked her out for a coffee and managed to get her number. When I texted her later she replied saying that she is not interested in a relationship and that she does not want to meet over a coffee.