FR Difficult Conversation

[AsianPersuasion]

I went to the mall today with a wingman who came along for the ride and helped talked to the girls after I opened them. There were many girls I opened that told me they had a boyfriend right off the bat, or just ignored me, but from now on, I won't post those because there's nothing to learn from them.

What I want to focus on are my conversations with girls that could have done something with me. Whether it fails or succeeds, this is where the real learning is, and it's what I'll keep the focus on.

Alexis: After being turned down repeatedly within less than a minute, I found a girl that hooked. She was sitting in the food court with her sister, so I walked up while my friend pretended to get a call.

Me: "Hey, I thought you were super cute and wanted to come say hello! I'm AP!"
Her: "Oh... thank you!"
Me: "What's your name?"
Her: "Alexis"
Me: "Are you two here as friends?"
Sister: "No, we're sisters!"
Me: "Oh, wow! Really? I honestly couldn't tell!"
WingMan: *comes over* "Hey bro! What'd I miss?"
Me: "Just talking to these two over here." *turning back to girls* "This is my friend Roman! Roman, this is..." *turn to Alexis* "What's my name?"
Her: "Huh?"
Me: "What's my name?"
Her: "Ummm.... I forgot, sorry!"
Me: "Then we're even. That's good because I couldn't remember yours either! I'm AP!"
Her: "I'm Alexis!"
Me: "Anyway, I hope I'm not interrupting anything between you two."
Her: "Oh no! You're fine! We're just waiting for a friend."
Me: "Do mind if we sit down?"
Her: "Sure!"
Me: *sit down* "Okay, so obviously I thought you were attractive. What I can't learn from plain sight is whether or not my personality will match with a girl. Can you tell me something interesting about you?"
Her: "Um... I don't know... nothing really!"
Me: "Everyone's got something special... Are you into music? Sports? Dancing maybe?"
Her: "Nope."
Me: "What do you want to do after high school?"
Her: "Um... I'm not sure..."
Me: "You're just gonna figure it out as you go then huh..."
Her: "Sorta..."
Me: "Well, what do you do for fun then?"
Her: "Nothing really... I just sleep a lot."
Her: "I don't really know..."
Me: "So... that and hanging out at the mall with your sister then..."
Her: "Kinda..." (I'm pretty much dumbfounded at this point)
Sister: "She's on the computer a lot!"
Me: "Oh okay!"
Her: "I'm hardly ever on facebook... Like tumblr, vines..."
Me: "There's this game learned on the computer where you... go to google images, type in something totally innocent, and type the word insertion right next to it... You turn off the SafeSearch and you try to make something raunchy come up... Like... 'Cucumber insertion' or 'Korean chopstick insertion'" (Risky move, but I had nothing to lose)
Her: "Oh... Hahahahaha!" *wingman shakes head*
WingMan: "AP.... No...."
Me: "What? I'm not one of those guys that likes talking about mundane topics you know."
Sister: "How old are you two?"
Me: "18"
WingMan: "16.. How old are you?"
Her: "I'm 16"
Sister: "How old do you think I am?"
Me: "Hmmm.... Mid twenties?"
Sister: "Haha, what??? You think I'm older than her???"
Me: "You're not? Haha, whoops."
Her: "We're just waiting for our friends, so we're not really dressed up."
Me: "What?"
Her: "I said we're waiting for our friends, so we're not really dressed up."
Me: "Oh, no you're fine. I walked up to you didn't I? I have 18 years of being yelled at in my ear by my dad for my grades, so I can't hear you too well."
Her: "Oh, haha! Do you get good grades?"
Me: "You could say that... There's more to intelligence than a person's grades. I fool around a lot and I get Asian F's! Do you know what those are?"
Her: "No"
Me: "Those are B+ grades."
Her: "Oh haha! Those are actually my highest grades."
Me: "Oh, so what do you get mostly?"
Her: "Mostly B's"
Me: "See, I should be getting A's, but I spend to much time playing guitar."
Her: "Oh, you play guitar?"
WingMan: "Yeah, both do!"
Me: "Here, I'll show you..." *give her my keys* "Don't run off with my keys now..."
Her: "I won't."
Me: "Here's my guitar pick. We have a tenancy to carry picks with us at all times." *hand her my pick*
Her: "Oh, okay.. thank you!"
WingMan: "Do you play guitar?"
Her: "Nope."
WingMan: "Do you play any instruments?"
Her: "Nope."
WingMan: "Do you sing?"
Her: "Nope."
Me: "Surely you must do something for entertainment."
Her: "What?"
Me: *brush her hair aside and whisper into her ear*
Her: "Oh! No, really, I don't! Haha!"
Me: "You and me should do something fun together then. You can help me put Try Me stickers on the condom boxes at Target!"
Her: "Oh... Haha.. I don't really do pranks a whole lot..."
Me: "Okay, how bout just coffee and talk then?"
Her: "Sure!"
Me: "You seem like a Caramel Cooler kind of person to me."
Her: "Well... I don't really like coffee.."
Me: "Are you a tea person?"
Her: "Yeah!"
Me: "Me too! What do you normally get?" (I was actually excited to have found something)
Her: "I usually get Chai Tea."
Me: "I'm a huge fan of Green Tea.. I grew up drinking it, cuz, you know, Asian family... and... I just kind of got into it whenever I went to Caribou! Let's meet up and grab some then!" *hold up phone* "You have one of these?"
Her: "Haha, yes!"
Me: "Does it come with a phone number?"
Her: "Yeah *gives me phone number*"

My wingman also asked for her number, to which she gave him too. The conversation really went nowhere, but continued for a while before I excused us, gave the girl a hug, and went on our way.

As it turned out, this girl was only the second girl that didn't number flake on me... Unfortunately, trying to connect with her through text went about as well as it did in person.

Me: "Hey alexis so what kind of music do you like?"
Her: "Punk rock and garage rock"
Me: "Garage rock... Like nirvana?"
Her: "No, too mainstream"
Me: "So you like counter culture? Lol what bands then?"
Her: "You probably haven't heard of them"
Me: "Try me I'm a guitarist, so I listen to some odd music haha... I'm into rock and roll from the 60s, 70s, and 80s" (I should have just told her that I'd be open to giving it a listen if I haven't heard of them)
Her: *names a bunch of bands I haven't heard of*

I proceeded to look up every single band for songs that might potentially have a guitar riff I could replicate and play for her... I found none.

Me: "You got me there... I looked up all of them and couldn't recognize a single riff lol. I'm open minded to trying new things though if you showed me a few of your favorites, I could try to play them!
I don't listen to mainstream music... The stuff I listen to was mainstream during its time though... Like the rolling stones, the doors, sex pistols, neil young, and rush!"
Her: *no reply*
Me: "Do you want to meet up tomorrow still? I still think you're cute, and if you still think I'm cute, I'll give your music a listen "
Her: "You'd seriously be wasting your time."
Me: "I've got nothing else planned for sunday after three, and on monday I start my job at Denny's lol. If tomorrow's my last day of freedom, I'd still love to spend it with someone cute... if she's still interested anyway "
Her: *no reply*

I'm actually sort of glad she didn't reply to that. There was such a lack of connection, I almost feel like she purposely made herself seem uninteresting. I can't post my usual what I learned, realized, and what I could do better, because I don't see anything I can use for a reference with this one.

 

[Smurf]

Hey AP,

So to me this looks like one of two things:

1) Like you said, she wasn't interested in you and decided to make herself seem extremely uninteresting. In this case you can tell she's socially inexperienced because she didn't simply ask you to leave it leave herself.

2) She was interested in you, but (and I get this a lot with girls our age) she's so socially inexperienced and lost that she indeed has no interests, or doesn't know how to have a conversation.

Honestly, I think of girls like this as a waste of time. You got the number, so you can try and get get on a date, but if she acted like this for a short while, imagine a date.

This is a theory and not put into practice, but you can try to do the other side of deep diving, which I find helpful south girls like this, and that's too dive in her past. Combine this with pushing how far you can physically escalate. If she had nothing to say about her post, think if that's really the type of fuel you would want any sort of relationship, sexual, friendly or otherwise.

Some others will probably analyze this better, but until then I hope this helps.

Jake.

 

[AsianPersuasion]

No this was actually really helpful Jake D! Thanks! The reason I still persisted with her was so I could meet up with her and just tell her what I truthfully think and see what happens. Something like:

"I'm not gonna be one of those guys that'll pretend that we have this great connection, because we don't... But if you want to know what I honestly think, I still think you're cute as fuck and would so make out with you in the back of the car. You game? Do you think I'm cute?"

This wouldn't be anything I'd say with a girl I'd want to keep in my life, but as long as I'm not afraid to lose them, there's a chance I might get a yes.

Otherwise, I didn't see a whole lot of potential with the girl either. She was cool with the whole thing though, didn't flake, and seemed interested, so it was me that was trying to give her a chance.

 

[Smurf]

Yeah hopefully you get a date and you can escalate to something. Also, sorry for the errors I'm on a phone until the 16th.

Oh yeah, just remembered, try making a cold read about her past to get her talking.

 

[Pato]

AP,

I agree with Jake. A date with this girl might not turn out too well. It may just be that she is a boring person with no interests (and I've talked to some of these girls recently and it's really annoying), or she might be doing it on purpose. I hate talking to girls like this because it's almost impossible to make a connection.

"Do you want to meet up tomorrow still? I still think you're cute, and if you still think I'm cute, I'll give your music a listen "
Her: "You'd seriously be wasting your time."
Me: "I've got nothing else planned for sunday after three, and on monday I start my job at Denny's lol. If tomorrow's my last day of freedom, I'd still love to spend it with someone cute... if she's still interested anyway "
Her: *no reply*

To me this seems like she isn't too interested. I might be wrong, but when I first read this, I thought that she just didn't want to hang out with you and was declining your offer. But it's also possible that the music date didn't interest her, and she'd be up to doing something else. I guess you could still try to get the coffee date, but I don't know if this is going to go anywhere. If you did get a date with her, cold reads/assumptions are a good way to get her talking.

The reason I still persisted with her was so I could meet up with her and just tell her what I truthfully think and see what happens. Something like:

"I'm not gonna be one of those guys that'll pretend that we have this great connection, because we don't... But if you want to know what I honestly think, I still think you're cute as fuck and would so make out with you in the back of the car. You game? Do you think I'm cute?"

As for the escalating part, I definitely think you should try it, but I don't know if this is the best way to go about it. I feel this is too straightforward and could make her feel uncomfortable. Anyway, this is just my beginner opinion, but I hoped I helped. Best of luck!

-Pato

 

[AsianPersuasion]

Hey Pato!

I totally agree with both of you that a date with that girl isn't gonna go anywhere. If she was being honest, I don't think her and I would do well on a date type thing, and it would be a waste of my time.

I know the escalating part is pretty straightforward and could freak her out, but like I said, this one isn't one I'm too worried about losing. The best thing that could happen is that I get a make out buddy... The worst thing that could happen is that she totally freaks out and I'll have a funny story to tell.

I personally hope for her sake she just wasn't interested in me and tried to downplay herself.

Thanks for the input Pato!

 

[Mr.Rob]

Yo AP how do you remember your conversations in such detail? It seems to me you remember every word that came out of each others mouth to the punctuation. Do you have to jog your memory and come up with what you "think" you said or do you literally remember every word to the detail? Do you think about remembering what each other says as you interact or do you just mentally go back in time and remember everything afterwards? I seem to remember the great scheme of things and bits and pieces of conversation but never conversations as long as yours are spanning over 10 minutes and what not. Seesh. I did smoke a lot of pot before I got into self growth so I might just have to wait until I grow my braincells back to where they are supposed to be lol. But yeah whats the secret bro?

Also whats the status on the non-English speaking girl is that like planned or up in the air still? Im curious to know how that's gonna go down I really wanna see that FR.

Cheers mate.

 

[AsianPersuasion]

Hi Mr. Rob! I actually do remember most of my conversations almost to the letter. I'm sure I miss a detail every now and then, but I'm just a guy haha! My three questions that I like to ask a lot are tell me something interesting about yourself, what do you want to be after college, and what do you like to do in your spare time... Depending on how the person is responding to me, I'll throw these in at different times using different wordings, but I really only need to remember how they respond.

This is what allows me to practically memorize conversations like this. I can't do this on a date though!

As for the Mexican girl, we were supposed to meet up yesterday, but she messaged me on facebook saying "Sorry, I can't. Maybe another time" in Spanish. I'll try to set up a date soon, but I'm starting a job at Denny's today, and have no clue what my schedule will be in the future.

 

[PrettyDecent]

Hey AP,

I agree mostly with Jake D.

Hey AP,

So to me this looks like one of two things:

1) Like you said, she wasn't interested in you and decided to make herself seem extremely uninteresting. In this case you can tell she's socially inexperienced because she didn't simply ask you to leave it leave herself.

2) She was interested in you, but (and I get this a lot with girls our age) she's so socially inexperienced and lost that she indeed has no interests, or doesn't know how to have a conversation.

But she did give you her phone number. And she did answer your texts. Additionally, how fast she responded to your texts (and if they were consistently fast) would mean that she was at least moderately interested. Listen to girl's actions, NOT their words. In fact, looking back on the texting...

As it turned out, this girl was only the second girl that didn't number flake on me... Unfortunately, trying to connect with her through text went about as well as it did in person.

Me: "Hey alexis so what kind of music do you like?"
Her: "Punk rock and garage rock"
Me: "Garage rock... Like nirvana?"
Her: "No, too mainstream"
Me: "So you like counter culture? Lol what bands then?"
Her: "You probably haven't heard of them"
Me: "Try me I'm a guitarist, so I listen to some odd music haha... I'm into rock and roll from the 60s, 70s, and 80s" (I should have just told her that I'd be open to giving it a listen if I haven't heard of them)
Her: *names a bunch of bands I haven't heard of*

I proceeded to look up every single band for songs that might potentially have a guitar riff I could replicate and play for her... I found none.

Me: "You got me there... I looked up all of them and couldn't recognize a single riff lol. I'm open minded to trying new things though if you showed me a few of your favorites, I could try to play them!
I don't listen to mainstream music... The stuff I listen to was mainstream during its time though... Like the rolling stones, the doors, sex pistols, neil young, and rush!"
Her: *no reply*
Me: "Do you want to meet up tomorrow still? I still think you're cute, and if you still think I'm cute, I'll give your music a listen "
Her: "You'd seriously be wasting your time."
Me: "I've got nothing else planned for sunday after three, and on monday I start my job at Denny's lol. If tomorrow's my last day of freedom, I'd still love to spend it with someone cute... if she's still interested anyway "
Her: *no reply*

She was following your lead through a good part of the conversation. But you've got to remember the platinum rule of texting: Texting is used for meeting up, not for building rapport/comfort. Check out this article: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-t ... z2H4VFbesf. This is probably the best-of GC's articles on texting.

And as for your quality of texting - You use interesting language, and make your sentences genuinely fun to read. But you want to remember that texting is a 50/50 mix between fun/intriguing. For intrigue, cut down on the length of text (if need be, just slightly longer than hers), and make it so by the 3rd or 4th text from you, you're determining the time of the meetup.

Anyways, as a salvage operation from the get-go, you made a valiant effort. Nice job, brother!

Jake