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I promised I would do this, and sorry it's been like two weeks but I'm finally doing the write up I promised in my other post about stuff to focus on for beginners. When to go direct vs. indirect as well as some how-to stuff for each [QUICK EDIT: this post is kinda long, so I'll probably just do another one with examples with the next one if anyone wants me to]!
I'm also wanting to do a short little write up about some advanced state-control stuff, but I don't know if I'll do that one to tell ya the truth. It's hard to do through writing and is better done through voice.
But anyways, sorry for the stream of consciousness stuff, let's get started with direct vs. indirect!
Here's the short version of when to use each (because they both can work): if it makes sense to use indirect within the environment/scenario then go indirect. If it doesn't make sense then go direct. And what I mean by that is this: is it out of the ordinary (for normal people) to talk to strangers where you are? If the answer is yes then go direct. If it's not then go indirect.
If you want to remain under the radar with what you're doing, then go indirect (biggest thing in my personal opinion). Lastly, how busy/focused is she on something? More busy = go direct. Less busy = indirect is a possibility.
And as always, exceptions always exist but I'm talking about generalities. But the second biggest thing to think about is this: when talking to someone are you changing or breaking their current emotional state?
If the answer is yes, then go direct (but again, the biggest thing for me is if you need to fly more under the radar or not).
(also quick little disclaimer; if your fundamentals are stupendous, then you can go indirect while having your fundamentals be direct as fuck and you can get away with it in some situations, but don't worry about that right now)
Finally, consider something Chase wrote about years ago: https://www.girlschase.com/content/easy-opening-indirect-direct
It can be fun to do (my personal favorite transition is "Honestly, I'm just here to shamelessly flirt with you").
That out of the way, let's get into some different scenarios and then in another post I'll go into some how-to's as far as approaching goes:
First Example: Coffee Shop
Okay, you're in a coffee shop doing something, maybe eating cheetoes and watching porn or whatever, I won't judge. Then you see someone sitting close by and you want to talk to her.
Quick question; do you go indirect or direct here?
Again, does it make sense in the environment to go indirect, yes or no?
I'd argue yes, it does make sense to go indirect. The environment is conducive to starting a conversation with a stranger. And here's why: people aren't in a hurry to go anywhere and nobody's really going anywhere any time soon. Plus, they're probably in a social mood because it's a social environment.
That's the first part of it, but here's the second part of it: the environments are almost always chill (except for one coffee shop that comes to mind, but that one is an exception). Because it's so chill and relaxed (plus the reasons above) it might be a bit too much to go direct to start with.
Third reason; you typically want to remain below the radar when you're in an place of business. You don't have much leeway and if someone gets the wrong impression and sees you approaching a lot then they can and will ask you to leave and ban you from coming back (like what happened to me when I was A/B testing different stuff a few years ago. One coffee shop loved me while another banned me haha). There are ways around this, like talking to everybody, but even still that requires that you go indirect to help remain under the radar.
So yeah, coffee shops are typically going to be indirect. Even when it comes to groups (although once you're at minimum a few minutes into the conversation and have won over the group you can tell them that you like their friend -- I'll try to remember to put in two funny stories of me doing this in the next post when giving examples of direct and indirect).
Second Scenario: The Park
Okay, you've dusted off the cheeto dust, put away your laptop and ventured out into the nearby park to pick up some palpably perfect beauties.
You spot one just across the way and she's sitting on a park bench reading a book. Just like the girls in the coffee shop, she's clearly not going anywhere anytime soon. So do you choose to go indirect or direct?
Well, does it make sense to go indirect?
I'm going to argue no.
Unless there's an event going on, or if you're in a group and inviting people to join your group then people don't really start conversations with strangers in the park. It can be a little strange/odd or even weird to do so (and by strange I mean out of the ordinary, I don't mean that it's bad because most people still like talking to people).
Because of that, it's better to go direct.
Going direct tells her why you're there and dispels the awkwardness that going indirect would create. Because again, why are you talking to some stranger in the park? It's going to cause her creep meter to go up if she doesn't understand why you're there.
Then there's also the above point I made in the beginning; she's locked into her book. She's busy and you are interrupting that (although again, this can be good, but even though it can be good it's still an interruption). She will be slightly confused and even jarred for a second (same thing when you break people out of autopilot). Because you're breaking her emotional state you want go direct.
In the above situation, the coffee shop, the environment/situation/context brings people together. And when people are brought together in an enclosed space (or event) it's normal for people to interact. Furthermore, you have more environmental cues that are connecting you together to start a conversation from and talk about naturally (more on this later). But ultimately, people are more likely to be in a social mood because it's a social environment in a coffee shop.
In the park, you don't have that much to talk about nor do you have much connecting you together in that moment. Unless something outlandish happens that you can comment on (like yesterday when a kid opened the door in a coffee shop there was a very loud lighting boom that I used to start talking to people next to me, though I wasn't interested you could easily use stuff like that to transition into a conversation).
Oh, and you don't have to worry much about flying under the radar either (who is going to kick you out of the park? Michael Vic-Doesn'tExist?)
Third Scenario: The Street Stop
Alright, you've left the park and you're on your way to wherever you're going. But then, right at this intersection you see the most amazing ass you've ever seen in your life. Holy. Shit!
She's standing on the intersection waiting for the light to change. And as luck would have it, you make it to the intersection before it turns. It's time to make your move.
Direct or indirect?
How much of the environment is connecting you together? How conducive is the environment to bringing you together? How natural is it for people to meet each other on the street?
I'm going to argue little to nothing at all.
Therefore, it's better and easier in my opinion to go direct over indirect.
Fourth Scenario: House Party/Other Event
Alllllrighty, you've left amazing ass and you've made it to where you were going. A house party or some other kind of event.
And there's this gaggle of girls all giggling away in their conversation. Most of them are just kind of 'meh' to you, but one of them, one of them is just your type. Hell yeah, game on!
But should you go direct or indirect here?
Again I'm going to ask, are people in a social mood? Is it a social environment? Is it natural for people to meet each other?
Definitely yes, that's kind of the point of parties and events.
So you can definitely go indirect in this case. Easy call.
Fifth Scenario: You Get an Active Approach Invitation (different from a girl passively smiling at you and other stuff like that)
Indirect, doesn't usually matter where you are either. Even a street stop.
Here's an example that happened to me when I first started learning:
I was getting into the elevator to go to class and a cute girl got in at the same time. And as it was closing someone went to the stairs. It was just us in the elevator when I said a little under my breath but also loud enough so that she could hear it:
"And so the race begins"
She laughed right before saying "I thought I was the only one who did that".
Boom, that's an active approach invitation which to me, is different than a normal approach invitation because she technically started the conversation.
From there I just made a comment about how we were going to win the race, gave her a quick high five and just introduced myself. And just like that we were talking.
In a way, she approached me (the first of only two times that I've been approached in a day game setting that I can think of). Therefore it's acceptable, and much smoother to just slide into the conversation. No need for being direct.
Second time was in a coffee shop, which is almost always going to be indirect anyways but here's the example anyways:
I went to the bathroom and left my stuff in a very crowded coffee shop on the table. When I come back there was a girl sitting at my table working away on something. Technically this wasn't an approach, but I treated it like one.
Me: "Hey! *slight laugh*, how's it hanging?"
And just like that we're in a conversation.
Closing Notes:
So yeah, there are a few different examples of places to go indirect vs. direct as well as why.
Always consider the environment. If you are allowed to be as brazen as you want then consider going direct, if the environment is a social one then you'll want to go indirect pretty much always (although indirect-direct is still possible).
If you're breaking or changing her emotional state just by approaching, then probably go direct but again, environment comes first even before this (grocery stores are a good example). But if the environment allows it you'll probably want to go direct in this case because you need a stronger reason other than idle chitchat to be in a conversation with her.
At best, you look weak or she just gets annoyed for approaching indirectly when direct is the correct call. At worst, she feels creeped out because either she's not smart enough to figure out you like her, or you're hiding all of your intent and need to work on your fundamentals more (or probably both, honestly).
But yeah, that's my little write up for going direct or indirect and my thought processes behind the reasons why.
If you guys are interested then I'll do a write up about examples of direct and indirect (although for direct you can check out Hector's course, he's got lots there).
I'm also wanting to do a short little write up about some advanced state-control stuff, but I don't know if I'll do that one to tell ya the truth. It's hard to do through writing and is better done through voice.
But anyways, sorry for the stream of consciousness stuff, let's get started with direct vs. indirect!
Here's the short version of when to use each (because they both can work): if it makes sense to use indirect within the environment/scenario then go indirect. If it doesn't make sense then go direct. And what I mean by that is this: is it out of the ordinary (for normal people) to talk to strangers where you are? If the answer is yes then go direct. If it's not then go indirect.
If you want to remain under the radar with what you're doing, then go indirect (biggest thing in my personal opinion). Lastly, how busy/focused is she on something? More busy = go direct. Less busy = indirect is a possibility.
And as always, exceptions always exist but I'm talking about generalities. But the second biggest thing to think about is this: when talking to someone are you changing or breaking their current emotional state?
If the answer is yes, then go direct (but again, the biggest thing for me is if you need to fly more under the radar or not).
(also quick little disclaimer; if your fundamentals are stupendous, then you can go indirect while having your fundamentals be direct as fuck and you can get away with it in some situations, but don't worry about that right now)
Finally, consider something Chase wrote about years ago: https://www.girlschase.com/content/easy-opening-indirect-direct
It can be fun to do (my personal favorite transition is "Honestly, I'm just here to shamelessly flirt with you").
That out of the way, let's get into some different scenarios and then in another post I'll go into some how-to's as far as approaching goes:
First Example: Coffee Shop
Okay, you're in a coffee shop doing something, maybe eating cheetoes and watching porn or whatever, I won't judge. Then you see someone sitting close by and you want to talk to her.
Quick question; do you go indirect or direct here?
Again, does it make sense in the environment to go indirect, yes or no?
I'd argue yes, it does make sense to go indirect. The environment is conducive to starting a conversation with a stranger. And here's why: people aren't in a hurry to go anywhere and nobody's really going anywhere any time soon. Plus, they're probably in a social mood because it's a social environment.
That's the first part of it, but here's the second part of it: the environments are almost always chill (except for one coffee shop that comes to mind, but that one is an exception). Because it's so chill and relaxed (plus the reasons above) it might be a bit too much to go direct to start with.
Third reason; you typically want to remain below the radar when you're in an place of business. You don't have much leeway and if someone gets the wrong impression and sees you approaching a lot then they can and will ask you to leave and ban you from coming back (like what happened to me when I was A/B testing different stuff a few years ago. One coffee shop loved me while another banned me haha). There are ways around this, like talking to everybody, but even still that requires that you go indirect to help remain under the radar.
So yeah, coffee shops are typically going to be indirect. Even when it comes to groups (although once you're at minimum a few minutes into the conversation and have won over the group you can tell them that you like their friend -- I'll try to remember to put in two funny stories of me doing this in the next post when giving examples of direct and indirect).
Second Scenario: The Park
Okay, you've dusted off the cheeto dust, put away your laptop and ventured out into the nearby park to pick up some palpably perfect beauties.
You spot one just across the way and she's sitting on a park bench reading a book. Just like the girls in the coffee shop, she's clearly not going anywhere anytime soon. So do you choose to go indirect or direct?
Well, does it make sense to go indirect?
I'm going to argue no.
Unless there's an event going on, or if you're in a group and inviting people to join your group then people don't really start conversations with strangers in the park. It can be a little strange/odd or even weird to do so (and by strange I mean out of the ordinary, I don't mean that it's bad because most people still like talking to people).
Because of that, it's better to go direct.
Going direct tells her why you're there and dispels the awkwardness that going indirect would create. Because again, why are you talking to some stranger in the park? It's going to cause her creep meter to go up if she doesn't understand why you're there.
Then there's also the above point I made in the beginning; she's locked into her book. She's busy and you are interrupting that (although again, this can be good, but even though it can be good it's still an interruption). She will be slightly confused and even jarred for a second (same thing when you break people out of autopilot). Because you're breaking her emotional state you want go direct.
In the above situation, the coffee shop, the environment/situation/context brings people together. And when people are brought together in an enclosed space (or event) it's normal for people to interact. Furthermore, you have more environmental cues that are connecting you together to start a conversation from and talk about naturally (more on this later). But ultimately, people are more likely to be in a social mood because it's a social environment in a coffee shop.
In the park, you don't have that much to talk about nor do you have much connecting you together in that moment. Unless something outlandish happens that you can comment on (like yesterday when a kid opened the door in a coffee shop there was a very loud lighting boom that I used to start talking to people next to me, though I wasn't interested you could easily use stuff like that to transition into a conversation).
Oh, and you don't have to worry much about flying under the radar either (who is going to kick you out of the park? Michael Vic-Doesn'tExist?)
Third Scenario: The Street Stop
Alright, you've left the park and you're on your way to wherever you're going. But then, right at this intersection you see the most amazing ass you've ever seen in your life. Holy. Shit!
She's standing on the intersection waiting for the light to change. And as luck would have it, you make it to the intersection before it turns. It's time to make your move.
Direct or indirect?
How much of the environment is connecting you together? How conducive is the environment to bringing you together? How natural is it for people to meet each other on the street?
I'm going to argue little to nothing at all.
Therefore, it's better and easier in my opinion to go direct over indirect.
Fourth Scenario: House Party/Other Event
Alllllrighty, you've left amazing ass and you've made it to where you were going. A house party or some other kind of event.
And there's this gaggle of girls all giggling away in their conversation. Most of them are just kind of 'meh' to you, but one of them, one of them is just your type. Hell yeah, game on!
But should you go direct or indirect here?
Again I'm going to ask, are people in a social mood? Is it a social environment? Is it natural for people to meet each other?
Definitely yes, that's kind of the point of parties and events.
So you can definitely go indirect in this case. Easy call.
Fifth Scenario: You Get an Active Approach Invitation (different from a girl passively smiling at you and other stuff like that)
Indirect, doesn't usually matter where you are either. Even a street stop.
Here's an example that happened to me when I first started learning:
I was getting into the elevator to go to class and a cute girl got in at the same time. And as it was closing someone went to the stairs. It was just us in the elevator when I said a little under my breath but also loud enough so that she could hear it:
"And so the race begins"
She laughed right before saying "I thought I was the only one who did that".
Boom, that's an active approach invitation which to me, is different than a normal approach invitation because she technically started the conversation.
From there I just made a comment about how we were going to win the race, gave her a quick high five and just introduced myself. And just like that we were talking.
In a way, she approached me (the first of only two times that I've been approached in a day game setting that I can think of). Therefore it's acceptable, and much smoother to just slide into the conversation. No need for being direct.
Second time was in a coffee shop, which is almost always going to be indirect anyways but here's the example anyways:
I went to the bathroom and left my stuff in a very crowded coffee shop on the table. When I come back there was a girl sitting at my table working away on something. Technically this wasn't an approach, but I treated it like one.
Me: "Hey! *slight laugh*, how's it hanging?"
And just like that we're in a conversation.
Closing Notes:
So yeah, there are a few different examples of places to go indirect vs. direct as well as why.
Always consider the environment. If you are allowed to be as brazen as you want then consider going direct, if the environment is a social one then you'll want to go indirect pretty much always (although indirect-direct is still possible).
If you're breaking or changing her emotional state just by approaching, then probably go direct but again, environment comes first even before this (grocery stores are a good example). But if the environment allows it you'll probably want to go direct in this case because you need a stronger reason other than idle chitchat to be in a conversation with her.
At best, you look weak or she just gets annoyed for approaching indirectly when direct is the correct call. At worst, she feels creeped out because either she's not smart enough to figure out you like her, or you're hiding all of your intent and need to work on your fundamentals more (or probably both, honestly).
But yeah, that's my little write up for going direct or indirect and my thought processes behind the reasons why.
If you guys are interested then I'll do a write up about examples of direct and indirect (although for direct you can check out Hector's course, he's got lots there).
