Do women reject guys who they see as players?

[LoneWolf14]

I just read this article: https://www.girlschase.com/content/when ... t-you-down

Now there's this idea in the PUA community that she's actually giving you a compliment when she's calling you that and that women don't actually reject players even though they complain about them. My experience, however, has been different. From what I've seen, she will actually go into auto-rejection if she thinks you're a player, especially if she is insecure and / or has been played in the past.

I've also seen, and the article covers that too, that if she sees you as a boyfriend and she also thinks that you're a player, she will go cold as well.

What do you guys think?

 

[Hue]

Lonewolf,

Women are attracted to players. However, they may not feel valued by players, which will cause them to autoreject.

Simply put, it comes down to preselection's effect on attainability.

Players by definition have a high perception of preselection (they fuck lots of girls). This makes the player more attractive, especially as being someone who's good in bed. Other ways also include how women assume high value if a guy can seduce girls, for some vague reason.

Preselection is a bubble once attainability comes into play. Too much of it, and attainability drops super low - the bubble bursts.

She will think that you treat everyone this way, and because of that you don't actually find her unique and special, and that you really don't care about her.

In regards to her past, yes, if she sees you as a player and has been hurt by one, she'll have "learned" what happens with men like you.

With the boyfriend --> player perception, she'll think that you just want to fuck her. Not only that, you just want to fuck her for your own selfish interests. This makes her feel you don't care about her as a person. Attainability crashes.


So what kind of men sleep with lots of women without hurting them in this way?

Lovers.

Being a lover who is acting from a place of compassion is far superior to being a player. You know what's best for her, and then you give her that. While setting the expectations early on that won't cause her pain (to the best of your ability - you can't control a person's thoughts, only influence them).

And as a lover, yes, maybe you do treat everyone this way. But because you're setting the right expectations and exuding traits that define you as a lover, she's more likely to be comfortable with you anyways, since you've still shown you care for her.

Lovers understand that there is beauty in everybody. Sure, there's still preferences and standards, but having this genuine understanding of people allows other people to feel cared about and understood. So long as it's not an act of selfish deception then the seduction is actually beneficial to both parties on a physical and emotional level.


Hope this helps (;

Hue

 

[LoneWolf14]

Thanks for your reply, very insightful. I'm not sure I got one part right though:

'With the boyfriend --> player perception, she'll think that you just want to fuck her. Not only that, you just want to fuck her for your own selfish interests. This makes her feel you don't care about her as a person. Attainability crashes.'

So what you're saying is that if she wants you as a boyfriend but sees you as a player she's gonna feel like you don't care then go cold and eventually reject you to protect her ego?

 

[Fuck This]

Well put Hue.

A Lover has a greater air of respect than the Player.
A Lover understands women and makes them feel valued while a Player is dismissive of their feelings.
A Lover makes a woman feel like she hasn't given up her value by sleeping with him while a player does.
A player shows off getting women. A Lover is discrete.

 

[foggy]

you can figure out how to react to a girl who thinks you’re a player by assessing two things:

1. her type
2. her relationship with you

1. Her Type

Party/social girls will respond more to:

- Emotional spikes
- Playful teasing
- Demonstrations of preselection and status

Shy, conservative girls will respond more to:

- Connection
- Qualification
- Less player type behaviours

2. Her Relationship With You

If you’ve just met each other then she’s probably still assessing your value. She wants you to be a guy with high mate value - someone who fucks 1000s of women

If you’ve known each other for a while, then she already knows your value. She doesn’t want you to be a player - she is seeking comfort.