Do you see yourself as high value?

[LoverOfWomen]

I see women every day who are attracted to me these women vary in ethnicity,age,marital status etc. One funny story is I was walking in the city centre and saw these 2 girls walking towards my direction. One of the girls was checking me out and almost bumped into a streetlight her friend shouted ‘watch where you going’. I almost laughed out loud. I only approach maybe 10% of the girls who give me signals and these are often the less good looking girls as I believe they’re more attainable.

The issue I have is I don’t feel confident about myself due to the fact I feel I can’t bring much value into a hot girls life. Sometimes when a hot girl checks me out I get this surge of adrenaline but also confusion as I don’t see myself as high value. This is mainly because I don’t go out a lot and haven’t had much life experiences.My social skills aren’t the best but I’m improving them every day.

Here are my explanations as to why I feel this way:

1) I don’t like to socialise too much. Maybe I’m thinking negatively just to avoid social interaction with girls.

2) trying to protect my ego from rejection

3) my fundamentals are pretty good (I may look like confident and dominant guy but I don’t feel this way around very hot girls.

What do you guys think and do you feel this way sometimes?

 

[ProblemSolving]

Hey LOW,

2) trying to protect my ego from rejection

This is really the heart of pretty much every guy's approach anxiety. As much as we want to make excuses about why we don't approach, it's always the fear of rejection at it's core.

If I pointed to a hot chick and told you that she thought you were hot and she really wanted to talk to you, you might be a bit nervous, but you would approach her. It's the fear of the unknown that prevents guys from taking action.

There's no easy way to getting over this fear which is a good thing when you really think about it. If every guy had the balls to approach every girl that he found attractive, it would make it tougher for EVERY guy to get laid because the competition would be so much higher.

Sometimes when a hot girl checks me out I get this surge of adrenaline but also confusion as I don’t see myself as high value

One way you can force a green light before approaching is to smile at her before approaching. Not a big toothy grin, but just a small smirk that's barely noticeable. It's a way of showing that you're interested with very little effort. If she smiles back, or looks away, and then looks back at you again, green light

 

[LoverOfWomen]

the barely noticeable smile (or smirk)I’ll try that out and see the results I get.

How do you stop feeling like certain girls are more higher value than you? Sometimes I feel like I’d be lucky to get a girl like that. Is it just down to experience?

 

[Michal]

the barely noticeable smile (or smirk)I’ll try that out and see the results I get.

How do you stop feeling like certain girls are more higher value than you? Sometimes I feel like I’d be lucky to get a girl like that. Is it just down to experience?

It is more than that. I would say it is up to both experience and living up to your own standards. We all have that set of things, a ruler by which we measure and evaluate our self worth. Some guys think if they get a good car, they can have all the women they want. And they are stubborn in this belief so they project this confidence outward after they get the car and women can feel it. Then, some girls realize he is not that impressive but other girls still like him. He might not put it on display that it is his car that gave him the confidence, he just feels like the fact that he has the car gives him the permission or even entitlement to getting hot girls. Which might be true, some guys have this with muscles, they get buff and suddenly taste success because the girls they always wanted are those who want a buff guy.

However, what you say is true, you will feel more confident about your own sexual value after you gather more experiences with women, sleep with and date more girls. There is no way around it really. Some people need more success to feel confident in their abilities, some need one or two instances.

 

[ProblemSolving]

How do you stop feeling like certain girls are more higher value than you? Sometimes I feel like I’d be lucky to get a girl like that. Is it just down to experience?

Experience is the only way to truly know if you have what it takes to get the girls that you desire. Once you get a few dates with girls that you really desire, you will KNOW you have what it takes. Until that happens, you will always be left wondering.

I really don't think the problem has anything to do with the perceived value of the girls you want to approach. Like you said, you only approach 10% of the girls who give you signals. So it's not that you have trouble approaching "high value" girls, you just have trouble approaching girls in general. This is not surprising. Getting over approach anxiety requires repetition. The more approaches you get under your belt, the less anxiety you will feel with every girl including the "high value" ones.