I was reading Chase's latest newsletter "9 things you should never say on first approach".
A few of them seemed sensibly true, but among them one found me particularly in disagreement and that's :
"do you speak English".
Well, having been living in non English speaking countries with a relatively high number of people with poor English for years -and some with none at all- I have used that as a stock opener for a long time now.
Beyond the results, which one can always improve, the reason why I can't see it as being poor is that it has some major distinctive advantages, including:
1. IT GIVES YOU FULL ATTENTION
It's a kind of question that while it's not begging for attention, such as "can you give me a minute please" or "can you stop for a second please" it still sets the stage for being given full attention.
2. IT GIVES YOU A FOUNDATION (VS STARTING FROM ZERO)
What's the other option of not getting full attention before you lunge in your core message?
It's starting right away with your core message, of course, without first "setting the ground".
Just today a girl started asking me in the street for something, and it was startling and annoying.
If she had tried first to get my attention, maybe it still wasn't gonna go anywhere, but at least she'd have had a chance.
Or you can imagine the same situation when WWF or some "save the planet" organization sets up a booth and tries to talk you up.
Pitching you straight off before they made sure you are open to listen is jarring.
Starting with what is almost a leading question as most people today speak at least some English, is a great way to start a conversation with a good foundation.
By the time she says yes, she's already said so either because she's interested, or because she wants to give you a chance.
2. FUNCTIONS AS A QUALIFYING QUESTION
Another advantage is that it works as a strong qualifying question, right off the bat.
Only a "yes" would keep her in the game.
And a "yes" is a good start for any conversation, needless to say.
Of course if she doesn't speak English, you might go forward anyway with another language in some cases, yet she doesn't know that (and I personally wouldn't want to get serious with a girl without proper English anyway).
Thoughts?
A few of them seemed sensibly true, but among them one found me particularly in disagreement and that's :
"do you speak English".
Well, having been living in non English speaking countries with a relatively high number of people with poor English for years -and some with none at all- I have used that as a stock opener for a long time now.
Beyond the results, which one can always improve, the reason why I can't see it as being poor is that it has some major distinctive advantages, including:
1. IT GIVES YOU FULL ATTENTION
It's a kind of question that while it's not begging for attention, such as "can you give me a minute please" or "can you stop for a second please" it still sets the stage for being given full attention.
2. IT GIVES YOU A FOUNDATION (VS STARTING FROM ZERO)
What's the other option of not getting full attention before you lunge in your core message?
It's starting right away with your core message, of course, without first "setting the ground".
Just today a girl started asking me in the street for something, and it was startling and annoying.
If she had tried first to get my attention, maybe it still wasn't gonna go anywhere, but at least she'd have had a chance.
Or you can imagine the same situation when WWF or some "save the planet" organization sets up a booth and tries to talk you up.
Pitching you straight off before they made sure you are open to listen is jarring.
Starting with what is almost a leading question as most people today speak at least some English, is a great way to start a conversation with a good foundation.
By the time she says yes, she's already said so either because she's interested, or because she wants to give you a chance.
2. FUNCTIONS AS A QUALIFYING QUESTION
Another advantage is that it works as a strong qualifying question, right off the bat.
Only a "yes" would keep her in the game.
And a "yes" is a good start for any conversation, needless to say.
Of course if she doesn't speak English, you might go forward anyway with another language in some cases, yet she doesn't know that (and I personally wouldn't want to get serious with a girl without proper English anyway).
Thoughts?
.