- Joined
- Oct 23, 2013
- Messages
- 53
Gentleman, please learn from me and never do this, no matter what. SO recently I was just dumped by my ex gf, that was pretty serious. Blah blah, shit sucked, blah blah, decided to go out tonight. We, my friends and I, went to a local bar, and shit was packed to the fucking door. We had to wait 15 min to get in. Anyway I get in and there is pussy galore, literally, but I try to keep my cool. Anyway I had a few interactions, so here they are.
1st: Sexy blue eyed blonde that hooked up with a guy I knew, I began talking to her to see if I could close the deal. She was walking with a friend and saw me, then said Hi and we hugged. here is the convo.
Me: Hey, how you doing? how's your night? ( note I am pretty fucked up here)
Her: good, god its packed in here
Me: I know right!!?? Lets dance.
Her: mmm...okay!
Me: what does mm mean?
Her: no response
( we start dancing)
Me: so you have a boyfriend?
Her: (blah blah blah, I can'r remember)
Me: cool, I thought you were dating (blank)
Her: nooooo!
Me: cool, so what are you doing afterwards?
Her: Nothing really, though I am high on drugs...
Me( now just an fyi, I was falsely accused of sexual assault and had to go through an extensive investigation, where things turned out that I did not do anything ( duh) and the girl was sent home because of her instability, so I have my guard up quite a lot)
Me: oh, well alright, have a good night!
Her: okay!
I really didn't want to go there, so I left it at that, we kept running into each other, but I left it at that.
Number 2:
Tall burnette I had made out with my freshman year, but nothing came of. I originally went in for a hug but got interrupted... after the interruption we hugged and the conversation began.
Me: Hey, how have you been? haven't seen you in awhile? ( she was abroad)
Her: yeah I know! I have been good.
Me: awesome, lets dance!
Her: sure!
(while dancing)
Me: so you have a boyfriend?
Her: no.
Me: Cool, so I can totally flirt then ( sly smile on my face lol)
Her: yeah, but it doesn't mean I'll reciprocate ( ouch!)
Me: cool ( at this moment, I exited the dancing)
Number 3:
Tall burnette volleyball player. Just going through them like a fucking horndog man...lol. After a little bit of dancing in a group, I decided to just hit her up:
Me: hey, wanna dance?
Her: yeah!
We begin to dance, and her friend ( relatively thick lady) begins to dance with me from the back. So I am in a sandwich with a chubby blonde chick and a slim talll ( 6'2") volley ball chick. Note that I am 5'10". Anyway I am having a good time, blondie is grabbing pretty hard on my abs, and volley ball girl and I are now holding hands and grinding. Anyway conversation goes like this.
Me: so you have a bf?
Her: no.
Me: Cool, so I can flirt with you like crazy. ( smirk on my face)
Her: lol, yeah I guess.
Her: I mean its nice to dance and meet people ( and that's the sign of nothing happening)
We continue dancing and the song ends, she turns and thanks me for the dance and I say no problem, have a good night.
Number 4: ( I am on a motherfucking roll here, lol)
I notice a trio with one guy and two girls, so I say fuck it I got nothing to lose. I join the trio, and we all start dancing when this ensues.
Me: hey, if you two kiss ( two girls), me and him will.
Girl one: what? really?
Me: why the fuck not?
Girl one: okay
Girl one and two kisss, so yeahp, you guessed it the dude and I pecked it on the lips ( fucking weird man, the shit you do when drunk and trying to get ass).
Me: ( to girl 1), so you single?
Her: No, I am dating said guy
Me: that's awesome ( turning to said guy) nice catch!!
Girl 1: yeah we are both seeing him ( took this as my sing to exit, so I did)
Number 5: now number 5 is interesting cuz she is a girl I have laid before and gave a damn good time, though i don't know what her deal is. Anyway, I am dancing with my friends, and I see her noticing me, so I shift slightly to where she is and keep dancing, we make eye contact, and I decide to pull. I grab her wrist and get her attention, to which she obliges. We say hello to each other and I ask her to dance and she says sure. anyway this is the convo.
Me: what are you doing after this?
Her: Idk, prolly just going home with my friends
Me: nah, just come home with me ( zero fucks now)
Her: I would, but my friend
Her: how have you been, we need to catch up sometime soon, yeah?
Me: (smirk on my face) with eye contact
We keep dancing, I lift her up, she turns to me and gives me this sexy smile, and we keep dancing. At this moment, I am like eh, whatever, so I say this:
Me: listen, I am gonna leave this in your court, if you wanna see me, just let me know ( and I walk away, and begin dancing with my friend, and from the corner of my eye, I see her standing there watching me have a grand ole time, she is dumbfounded)
{ note this chick and I hooked up and had a great time together, to which she went as far to tell me that she really liked me and all that jazz, I tried to get her to stay the night but prolly came off a little too controlling, so she left. We texted the next day after hooking up, to which she responded that she hoped we ran into each other soon. I tried setting something up with her, but to no avail, so I dropped it.} [ think she might have some underlying issues with men]
NOW THE BIGGIE.
So the place closes, I am 0-4 ( or whatever) and my friends and I head out to the pizza place. While we are waiting, some chick and her fat friend comes in. The chick begins talking to me, and explaining how her friend is into me, so I ( fucked up, horny and giving zero fucks, say why not, I have never fucked a fat chick) say oh really, cool.
Fat chick and I exchange numbers, and she goes and drops off her friends, then comes over to my place. Long story short, this chick was huge!!!! Now I am a pretty fucking fit guy ( 12 pack and all) I run marathons and lift, so seeing this was a HUGE TURN OFFF. No hard on what so ever!!! SO I just told her plain and simple, this aint happening, she looked at me, and said seriously, and I said yeahp, then she got her stuff and got dressed and left. She then began to text me telling me how much of an ass I am, and I simply deleted and blocked the number.
SO in conclusion, DO NOT. I REPEAT, DO NOT FUCK EVEN CONSIDER HOOKING UP WITH FAT CHICKS, IT AINT WORTH IT!!!!
I am tired now, drunk, and disappointed in myself, but hey, it was very good and necessary lesson. Keep up the work fellas, and I hopefully will have more to come ( on a positive side though)
Cheers,
R4l
1st: Sexy blue eyed blonde that hooked up with a guy I knew, I began talking to her to see if I could close the deal. She was walking with a friend and saw me, then said Hi and we hugged. here is the convo.
Me: Hey, how you doing? how's your night? ( note I am pretty fucked up here)
Her: good, god its packed in here
Me: I know right!!?? Lets dance.
Her: mmm...okay!
Me: what does mm mean?
Her: no response
( we start dancing)
Me: so you have a boyfriend?
Her: (blah blah blah, I can'r remember)
Me: cool, I thought you were dating (blank)
Her: nooooo!
Me: cool, so what are you doing afterwards?
Her: Nothing really, though I am high on drugs...
Me( now just an fyi, I was falsely accused of sexual assault and had to go through an extensive investigation, where things turned out that I did not do anything ( duh) and the girl was sent home because of her instability, so I have my guard up quite a lot)
Me: oh, well alright, have a good night!
Her: okay!
I really didn't want to go there, so I left it at that, we kept running into each other, but I left it at that.
Number 2:
Tall burnette I had made out with my freshman year, but nothing came of. I originally went in for a hug but got interrupted... after the interruption we hugged and the conversation began.
Me: Hey, how have you been? haven't seen you in awhile? ( she was abroad)
Her: yeah I know! I have been good.
Me: awesome, lets dance!
Her: sure!
(while dancing)
Me: so you have a boyfriend?
Her: no.
Me: Cool, so I can totally flirt then ( sly smile on my face lol)
Her: yeah, but it doesn't mean I'll reciprocate ( ouch!)
Me: cool ( at this moment, I exited the dancing)
Number 3:
Tall burnette volleyball player. Just going through them like a fucking horndog man...lol. After a little bit of dancing in a group, I decided to just hit her up:
Me: hey, wanna dance?
Her: yeah!
We begin to dance, and her friend ( relatively thick lady) begins to dance with me from the back. So I am in a sandwich with a chubby blonde chick and a slim talll ( 6'2") volley ball chick. Note that I am 5'10". Anyway I am having a good time, blondie is grabbing pretty hard on my abs, and volley ball girl and I are now holding hands and grinding. Anyway conversation goes like this.
Me: so you have a bf?
Her: no.
Me: Cool, so I can flirt with you like crazy. ( smirk on my face)
Her: lol, yeah I guess.
Her: I mean its nice to dance and meet people ( and that's the sign of nothing happening)
We continue dancing and the song ends, she turns and thanks me for the dance and I say no problem, have a good night.
Number 4: ( I am on a motherfucking roll here, lol)
I notice a trio with one guy and two girls, so I say fuck it I got nothing to lose. I join the trio, and we all start dancing when this ensues.
Me: hey, if you two kiss ( two girls), me and him will.
Girl one: what? really?
Me: why the fuck not?
Girl one: okay
Girl one and two kisss, so yeahp, you guessed it the dude and I pecked it on the lips ( fucking weird man, the shit you do when drunk and trying to get ass).
Me: ( to girl 1), so you single?
Her: No, I am dating said guy
Me: that's awesome ( turning to said guy) nice catch!!
Girl 1: yeah we are both seeing him ( took this as my sing to exit, so I did)
Number 5: now number 5 is interesting cuz she is a girl I have laid before and gave a damn good time, though i don't know what her deal is. Anyway, I am dancing with my friends, and I see her noticing me, so I shift slightly to where she is and keep dancing, we make eye contact, and I decide to pull. I grab her wrist and get her attention, to which she obliges. We say hello to each other and I ask her to dance and she says sure. anyway this is the convo.
Me: what are you doing after this?
Her: Idk, prolly just going home with my friends
Me: nah, just come home with me ( zero fucks now)
Her: I would, but my friend
Her: how have you been, we need to catch up sometime soon, yeah?
Me: (smirk on my face) with eye contact
We keep dancing, I lift her up, she turns to me and gives me this sexy smile, and we keep dancing. At this moment, I am like eh, whatever, so I say this:
Me: listen, I am gonna leave this in your court, if you wanna see me, just let me know ( and I walk away, and begin dancing with my friend, and from the corner of my eye, I see her standing there watching me have a grand ole time, she is dumbfounded)
{ note this chick and I hooked up and had a great time together, to which she went as far to tell me that she really liked me and all that jazz, I tried to get her to stay the night but prolly came off a little too controlling, so she left. We texted the next day after hooking up, to which she responded that she hoped we ran into each other soon. I tried setting something up with her, but to no avail, so I dropped it.} [ think she might have some underlying issues with men]
NOW THE BIGGIE.
So the place closes, I am 0-4 ( or whatever) and my friends and I head out to the pizza place. While we are waiting, some chick and her fat friend comes in. The chick begins talking to me, and explaining how her friend is into me, so I ( fucked up, horny and giving zero fucks, say why not, I have never fucked a fat chick) say oh really, cool.
Fat chick and I exchange numbers, and she goes and drops off her friends, then comes over to my place. Long story short, this chick was huge!!!! Now I am a pretty fucking fit guy ( 12 pack and all) I run marathons and lift, so seeing this was a HUGE TURN OFFF. No hard on what so ever!!! SO I just told her plain and simple, this aint happening, she looked at me, and said seriously, and I said yeahp, then she got her stuff and got dressed and left. She then began to text me telling me how much of an ass I am, and I simply deleted and blocked the number.
SO in conclusion, DO NOT. I REPEAT, DO NOT FUCK EVEN CONSIDER HOOKING UP WITH FAT CHICKS, IT AINT WORTH IT!!!!
I am tired now, drunk, and disappointed in myself, but hey, it was very good and necessary lesson. Keep up the work fellas, and I hopefully will have more to come ( on a positive side though)
Cheers,
R4l
