FR Dropped the ball so bad last night

[johnydones]

Hey guys , another friday is behind us and i wanted to share my experience. I approached 3 girls total , but dropped the ball with all 3

I am mainly interested in what i should have done with 2nd girl , but would be good to know how to open girl No.1 .

First girl:
We started of in a club we hang out at very often and i saw a cute blond girl looking my way. No waiting , i moved pass her into toilet and when i was coming back i opened with just

ME: "Hi, im John, whats your name" (could have gone a bit better there).
introduction
ME: So , what do you do for fun around here
HER: hmm , nothing
ME: you must do something for fun! (with bored look)
HER: not so much
-i bailed after that , maybe she thought i would not have the balls to approach and got scared , tell me what you think and how if i should have done anything better

Here comes the worst part

Second girl:
My friend got hooked up with some drunk girl and she had a very cute friend (8 out of 10 according to my scale) and i am feeling so bad for missing this shot. She was clearly looking to hook up , but i guess my confidence went down the toilet when i saw how beautiful she was. I would say 80% that she was interested but i could not hear a damn word she said because music was so loud. This is how it went down , please tell me how to do this better next time.

Introduction
ME: So , what is it that you do ?
HER : You know ...im going to college
ME: That's cool , what is it that you study
HER: law
ME: (i tried to go deep diving but again , i could not hear anything)
-i maintained eye contact with sexy smile and i noticed that she looks at me , holds eye contact for 1-2 seconds then breaks and smiles. (is this a sign i should have kissed her ? , please note that i was not looking to get her in bed , just to hook up.)
ME: you are cute, its your fault if i can't control myself (read about this here on girlschase , don't know how well i did it)
HER: *smiling like she was a bit embaresed

I followed this with an attempt to escalate things , i took her hand and with the other hand i run my fingers through her hair and across her cheek lightly , but she broke eye contact and i thought she was not ready (what do you think, was i right about this or not?)
-i had to leave for like 5 minutes , and there i had something to see when i got back , she was kissing with some other dude (way to go John , i cursed myself for like an hour after that and i still do as im writing this) , i bailed to another club.

I will not cover 3rd girl because i was a bit frustrated after the 2nd one , but did not go well at all.

My morale is so bad at the moment , i hope i will recover for this night.

Good thing is that i was quite a bit of girls looking at me which i did not notice before. I do not know what changed compared to last week , i had so much more confidence and every girl i approached that night it ended with a number or hookup.

thanks for your answers, it means a lot to me.
-John

 

[ocantu1987]

I think girl #2 you should have moved her somewhere else (like a quiet place) and continue the deep dive all while touching her here and EC. From there you will know when to kiss believe me, using kino and EC in my experience so far, lets you know. Girl tend to want kiss in private or when not around alot of peeping eyes.

 

[Verisimilitude]

Nice job on the approaches. Every approach makes thing easier man! Don't get discouraged. Anyways:

Girl #1: seems like you were doing a lot of the chasing and didn't really make your intentions clear. I would have held eye contact longer, the motioned her over to me. Or used a chase frame Ike, "if your gonna smile at me like that, you should at least say hi". It just seems like she don't hook and it was just you asking questions. Try for a more back and forth exchange.

Girl #2: argghhhh, don't try to talk to girls in the dance floor! So many guys mess this up. If you are on the dance floor, don't talk, just dance. It's that simple. Plus, from her nonverbals, it looked like she was into you! The looking down and being embarrassed is classic girl body language for attraction. Don't let a pretty girl intimidate you. If you were just looking to hook up (not sure why you would just want this, but ok), I would have danced with her, raised sexual tension through touch and eye contact, teased her (push pull physically), then kissed her. If I had to say something to her, I'd whisper in her ear and keep it simple, just a short sentence. If you wanted to have sex, I'd have moved her somewhere closer but quieter, talked, and then pulled her, possibly suggested a group date with your friend and hers and then pulled her home.

Do you have a process? That would really help you out. And generally it isn't a good idea to kiss girls on the dance floor, but it sounds like you knew thy already.

Finally, don't get discouraged so easily! I feel like you gave up too soon on both girls. Don't be creepy, but don't leave girls wondering why you walked away either.

 

[johnydones]

Guys , you just made my day with your replies , your encouragement and advice mean a lot .

for number 1: Thanks for a great chase frame opener xcrunner. I now realize that even if she was so shut down and even if she does not like me for whatever reason , i should have said something like "anyway it was nice meeting you , you are very cute but i have to go now" , i think it would put a smile on every girls face.
I also realize how powerful the "come here" motion is , if the fundamentals are right and she is even a bit interested she will approach.

Girl #2 :
We were not on dance floor but in some sort of lounge where we all sat. I am more comfortable when standing , I do not talk on dance floor and only a bit when i am standing ( i try to move as fast with dancing, touch,EC and then kiss). She was a bit younger then me ,19-20 i think , and here , with young girls kiss means a lot when you meet her next time. ) I just think that i had a meltdown in my brain at that moment , switching me back to "old me" , it felt like that , i asked myself "where is the confidence from last week , "what's going on with you man , its going great , kiss her, NOW!!!" , but then 1 minute passed , 2 minutes ....just like Chase said in one of his posts. The more i waited the more awkward it got. Well , with your help i pinpointed the problem and i will try not to do it again.
What did you mean by "Do you have a process?" i kinda still do not

It is only my second week where i actually started to use all the things i learned here and i changed a LOT

I was just at a birthday party with my sisters and i met 2 new girls, i practiced my conversation and tried to give value to everyone and not criticize like before (learned quite a bit from "how to win friends and influence people" book) and when my one other girl (long time friend of mine) made a joke that i look 4-5 years older then they , both new girls i just met jumped at her to defend me while i just smiled unfazed by her joke. My sisters said "hmm, you have changed somehow"


-John

 

[Verisimilitude]

What did you mean by "Do you have a process?"

What I mean is a process you follow when you meet girls. For example, here is my process at house parties:

1. Open a girl
2. Move her within 10 minutes of meeting her
3. Deep dive and build an emotional connection
4. Use touch and build sexual tension
5. Pull her home
6. Close the deal (the goal is sex or a blow job every time)

The point of a process is so you aren't fumbling around for the next step.

Even if you aren't dancing, just whisper in her ear. Still has the desired effect. And you can say the music is loud as an excuse.

And glad to see you are noticing a change! That's what its all about.