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- Feb 5, 2017
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Expanding on https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/the-ladykiller-chronicles.21195/post-146175 because I think it's worth digging deeper into.
Prologue
It's Saturday night. While I'm not in a good mood heading into Saturday, a cold shower, healthy food, and meditation grant me a large amount of state control to turn things around. I go to my usual venue in the city, a lounge very near my apartment (good logistics). While in line, I befriend a group of dudes (who as it happen are kind of PUAs, but maybe less so?). I hang with them for a bit, and they buy me a drink. I open some sets, warming up, and overall doing a lot of body rocking and occasionally building more into a set when I feel that I'm getting some interest back.
This is how the time passes until around 12:30AM.
The Open
I'm at the bar, trying to get a glass of water. Two girls come and stand behind me, I had noticed them coming closer to me to order, and I hear them mention that they're friends with the bartender. I use this to open them, and ask them to cut in front of line. But on the condition that they get me a glass of water. They agree, but they also close themselves off to my joining their conversation. While they're still warm, there isn't a smooth way to enter their conversation. They move to another area of the bar to get closer to the bartender, and I follow. The girl I'm interested in turns to me and tells me they're getting the water (with a smile). The water eventually comes, and I make a few jokes with them about hydrating, before I bounce, due to the lack of displayed interest on their part.
I go back to pinging various options, occasionally coming back to the group of guys I met earlier in the night. They decide they want to head out to a different spot. Given the number of available options in the lounge has gone down, I decide to go with them. However, eventually, I realize I don't like the venues that we're going to, so about an hour or so later, I go back to my original venue, and head to the bar to order a drink. At this point it's about 2:30AM.
Re-engaged
As I'm walking to the bar, someone comes in front of me, and in a very familiar way says:
It's the same girl who had gotten me water earlier. But this time, her friend is elsewhere. The girl is immediately very warm and physical to me. She's also very direct. She tells me that she and her friend had talked about me and thought I was hot, and that they were annoyed they let me get away. I'm a little skeptical about this, as a girl being this direct, and can't help wonder if she's trying to get something from me. So I talk, and I'm a little more reserved than her, but on the first high point, I lock the girl in. Want to note I locked in here, not to cement the hook, but to gain information on whether she was just being flirty, or actually interested. I lean against a wall, and she comes and leans close, next to me. From this, I come to the conclusion that she's actually interested, as opposed to solely attention seeking.
Conversation
We talk for a bit, I deep dive, elicit passionate topics. I introduce some sex talk lite discussions about men-to-women interactions. Along the way, I tell her I need another drink, grab her hand and take her to the bar. It turns out my girl and her friend have been best friends since they were 5 years old. This matters because it means I can't just tell my girl to ditch the friend, as they're too close for this to be calibrated or socially acceptable. If I want to pull, I need the friend to be somewhere safe. I order both myself and the girl a drink. At this point I was pretty sure she was not using me for a free drink, so I didn't mind paying for it.
I move her to an outside section of the bar. And I think here is where I introduce a first frame loss (but also potentially not-I'm not sure). I'm talking about my double date with a girl and her brother, and specifically say the following:
I think in the future, if I choose to introduce this as a date, I should introduce it as the following:
Something about the word "date" screams inexperience.
But even better would be to say that the girl and her brother were simply my friends. This would reduce any negative associations given that there would not be any negative preselection from talking about a failed date. This would also allow me to increase social proof even if I don't get a preselection boost.
Anyway, towards the end of the story, she tells me:
I just ignore the comment (or potentially do a semi-playful roll of the eyes). But still not good frame
In the middle of this, the bouncer tells us we have to move back inside. While walking we run into her friend, who gives me a hug and calls me "Water Boy". Given her warm reaction to me, I think the social frame is good. But I talk to her a bit longer, and she says some random guys called her ugly. My girl asks me if I think her friend is ugly, and I respond (truthfully), that the friend is far from ugly. Then we go grab a seat elsewhere, and then I continue to the purity gambit, contrasting myself against the brother who didn't believe in sex until marriage. The girl buys into my frame, in an interesting way:
So that's set with the sex is a good thing. I think I should have introduced the good sex gambit here-as she had basically already brought it up.
Wildcards
We're talking, and it's a really solid connection. By this point, I've moved her one more time around the venue. She tells me she needs to keep an eye on her friend, and they they're only at this venue because their friend is the DJ. So she says that she needs to go grab her friend as the DJ friend is leaving. She number closes me, and I save my number to her phone before calling myself. She gives me some shit for this, and in retrospect, calling myself seems needy.
Her friend has also broken up with a guy/is still into her ex. So I'm not sure how to separate my girl from her friend. I let her go, telling her that I'll be at the bar for a little bit longer, and that she should come find me before she leaves.
Reengaged, again
I'm at the bar, getting yet another glass of water. I notice my girl walking, in my direction, out of the corners of my eyes. I don't move my head. I don't look in her direction. She comes towards me, and then rubs her whole body against my back to re-engage.
I realize now that her coming back to me must have been a result of having talked with the friend and deciding that she wanted me. I should have pushed much, much harder to ditch the friend, because her coming back to me is loads of information. I should have suggested ditching the friend at this point, instead of suggesting following them.
I talk to her, grab us all three glasses of water. I'm talking to my girl, and she says they're going to another bar to meet the friend's ex. I assume an invitation for myself and follow them out. But they don't have a wristband for me and can't get me in. So I leave. No response to texts the day after.
Lessons:
- Go for the close every time-always assume a nightgame number will flop, so push, push, push
- I should have persisted after the girl indicated she was leaving, specifically as follows:
- I also need to switch to sending video messages if a nightgame close really is impossible
Anyway, a bummer for me. I thought this girl was extremely attractive, and we both wanted to make something happen. However, I'm glad to see no real drop in my momentum from my week of being sick, and I'm also glad that my progress from my 2 month stint in a new city is continuing to pay dividends here. So my growth shall continue, and I shall learn from this how to persist better.
Thoughts, advice, notes, as always, are appreciated.
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