easy way to dimnish(rid) neediness

[disciple99]

hey folks
if you don't have absolute abudance(i don't) then best way to dimnish neediness is to get busy and have care of your time because if you are busy on some project or have serious hobby then you are less likely to stick around when you know its not working.
you can't fake this one
recape:
*respect your time
*have some work and be busy
*it is for dimnishing neediness but for destroying neediness you need absolute abundance
please comment

 

[windsofchange]

This is pretty much mainstream advice to dealing with breakups and heartbreak. It can help. Not doubting that. But there's a caveat to this though.

If you still feel needy, and you have one girl you've got one-itis for, you won't be able to put your full effort into your project / hobby / whathaveyou. At least by my own experience. I mean it does help to occupy your time with different projects, but you may be still be liable to spent most of your thoughts on the person.

At least that was my experience when I was still a complete rookie with serial one-itis problems and tried to fix them by keeping myself busy. Because you're not actually solving problems, you're just postponing them. The only thing that even remotely started to help me was meeting other people. Now sure, having a hobby where you meet other people on a regular basis, that may help. But if you get one-itis again for someone you meet at your hobby, then...

 

[Bboy100]

On a macro level, this is actaully true. Living a lifestyle true to who you are and what you want to be will decrease your neediness around women. Mainly because you have goals and ambitions in life which are not related to the women herself.

As for reducing neediness towards one specific women (i.e. dealing with "oneitis"), I actually wouldn't recommend this as a go-to strategy. Any type of behavior where you avoid or distract yourself from the issue doesn't fix it. Drowning yourself in work to get over one women is no different from drowning yourself in alcohol (other than the fact that alcohol in of itself is unhealthy whereas working is not.). Even meeting other women is only a temporary fix to a deeper issue.

I started a thread about the very same topic a few weeks back and there was some great discussion. I recommend taking a look: viewtopic.php?f=3&t=12846

 

[disciple99]

maybe i am a bit mechanical in this kind of matter hehe
and read the post bboy linked its great heck i dont knew there is a about it onetits maybe i am dumb or young hehe.
and here i am talking in more general sense to dimnishing it for eg if you have a lot of time to kill and your friends are busy and you start troubling them to spend time (this happend with me once or twice) or start dwelling what a girl might be doing then having project or hobby (for me art) is handy.
also girls try to grab my attention when i am busy doing some serious work(like computer programing).
i think i was not able to communicate it clearly i mean it as to show it in front of girls that you are non needy dude who dont waste time.
hope i am able to clear any misunderstanding i caused.