Ego has been pretty under discussed on the website, as far as I remember (link me to some articles if I am wrong), recently I've been doing some reading on the topic and have came across some pretty interesting revelations.
I'm pretty proud of the person GC has made me, because I recall being SO weird around girls. I'm not saying I'm a total badass player right now, but I know better, both myself and the women around me. From a pussy to the the guy who's confident around women all the time, sometimes even an asshole! The best part? I know what women desire much better than I used to.
Now, I love that but what I realized was that cynicism started to settle into me. Looking at everything from a logical perspective makes stuff binary, Black & White, and it's not always a good perspective to have, not in emotional matters.
I've grown up in a family where I've always been told to look for other people's opinions and satisfaction, this made me very self-conscious from a very young age, this self-consciousness used to take me away from my immediate environment and immerse me so into my head that interacting naturally with the immediate conversation partner became more of a "performance", like I'm out there on the stage and I have to impress everyone around me. Like everyone around me is aware of myself and the second I do something silly, or make a mistake of any sort, they'll all laugh at me at I'll suffer a reputation drop (Too much? I know). Thus making it impossible for myself to be natural in any endeavor. It was almost like a voice at the back of my head constantly taunting and reminding me of all my wrong-doings and mistakes. I used to cringe at almost all the thoughts I had.
I didn't like it being called an ego, because from my eyes, that's how things worked.
When I started reading GC and learning about how you've always got to lead the "dance", how the woman should always respect the man if the relationship (exclusive/non-exclusive is to progress in the right direction, it got into my head, carved in stone. Stopping me from realizing all the cynicism that was building up, which later coupled with my upbringing manifested itself in ego which I didn't realize was there, like a Trojan horse.
It made cold approaches really hard for me and no matter what I tried it won't get any easier, mostly because when I'd go in, sometimes there'd be a pretty solid ego hit or a pretty solid validation, the hits were all I'd remember because you can never really satisfy an ego. Which almost always left me tired and beaten up after a streak of cold approaches.
Do I mean to tell you that seduction itself is worthless learning? Hell no, I in fact highly encourage learning it, but you also have to actively watch yourself and your ego, you can and will get away with a hell lot more than you can think, sometimes a "reputation loss" is okay, it actually is required.Nobody really cares what you do, they have far too important things in their lives than to ponder on how silly you are, it's not a stage show, there's no one judging. Everyone has a life and you're not really that important.
"There's nobody to impress, but just mistakes to make and learn from."
Allow yourself to make mistakes, let go of the shame inside you, the cynic inside you. Trust me, it'll help.
BTW, I'd recommend you check out Ryan Holiday's "Ego Is The Enemy", there's some good stuff in there.
I'm pretty proud of the person GC has made me, because I recall being SO weird around girls. I'm not saying I'm a total badass player right now, but I know better, both myself and the women around me. From a pussy to the the guy who's confident around women all the time, sometimes even an asshole! The best part? I know what women desire much better than I used to.
Now, I love that but what I realized was that cynicism started to settle into me. Looking at everything from a logical perspective makes stuff binary, Black & White, and it's not always a good perspective to have, not in emotional matters.
I've grown up in a family where I've always been told to look for other people's opinions and satisfaction, this made me very self-conscious from a very young age, this self-consciousness used to take me away from my immediate environment and immerse me so into my head that interacting naturally with the immediate conversation partner became more of a "performance", like I'm out there on the stage and I have to impress everyone around me. Like everyone around me is aware of myself and the second I do something silly, or make a mistake of any sort, they'll all laugh at me at I'll suffer a reputation drop (Too much? I know). Thus making it impossible for myself to be natural in any endeavor. It was almost like a voice at the back of my head constantly taunting and reminding me of all my wrong-doings and mistakes. I used to cringe at almost all the thoughts I had.
I didn't like it being called an ego, because from my eyes, that's how things worked.
When I started reading GC and learning about how you've always got to lead the "dance", how the woman should always respect the man if the relationship (exclusive/non-exclusive is to progress in the right direction, it got into my head, carved in stone. Stopping me from realizing all the cynicism that was building up, which later coupled with my upbringing manifested itself in ego which I didn't realize was there, like a Trojan horse.
It made cold approaches really hard for me and no matter what I tried it won't get any easier, mostly because when I'd go in, sometimes there'd be a pretty solid ego hit or a pretty solid validation, the hits were all I'd remember because you can never really satisfy an ego. Which almost always left me tired and beaten up after a streak of cold approaches.
Do I mean to tell you that seduction itself is worthless learning? Hell no, I in fact highly encourage learning it, but you also have to actively watch yourself and your ego, you can and will get away with a hell lot more than you can think, sometimes a "reputation loss" is okay, it actually is required.Nobody really cares what you do, they have far too important things in their lives than to ponder on how silly you are, it's not a stage show, there's no one judging. Everyone has a life and you're not really that important.
"There's nobody to impress, but just mistakes to make and learn from."
Allow yourself to make mistakes, let go of the shame inside you, the cynic inside you. Trust me, it'll help.
BTW, I'd recommend you check out Ryan Holiday's "Ego Is The Enemy", there's some good stuff in there.
