I have been reflecting on my approaches again after weeks of going out and getting back into the grind. My thing with nightgame and to an extent, even daygame, is that I am not the worst at opening as my approach anxiety has mostly gone away. However, I do struggle a bit in terms of moving the needle forward.
Escalate. If you're not escalating, you're not moving the needle forward
I am finding that for some reason, maybe subconscious more than anything, I eject from sets too soon. Maybe if the girl looks slightly bothered I might walk away to not be a burden perhaps?
Fear of failure and Fear of Success. Right now, you don't want to hook up with a girl badly enough - instead you prefer that nice little feeling that you get from opening a set and making a chick laugh, getting her engaged.
So the result of fear of failure/success, is
fear of escalation/escalation anxiety.
My thing after observing many sets has been that I do not make the most out of the good sets I have. On a given night, I will have 2 to 3 sets out of 10 that are almost golden but I am not making the most out of them. I might get an Instagram close which I am finding is not working to my benefit at all even though my IG is somewhat decent, Chase was right about social media.
Old school guy talking, but
the only goal of night game cold approach is a same night lay. End of story, period, finito, fin, done, that's it.
If you're not putting P into V at the end of the night, you're not doing what all of the methods are teaching.
No IGs, no TikToks, no Phone #'s - just come back to my place
IMO,
Pick Up is not actually good at generating long term sustained interest
Pick up is FAST SEDUCTION, not SLOW SEDUCTION.
And seduction is NOT for the girl that already likes you - it's for the girl that's indifferent or hostile towards you. The type of girls that you meet at night clubs, or randomly on the street.
She should be very afraid of random guys with a good rap that causes her to end up waking up on a dirty mattress in an apartment shared with 5 other guys.
Moving away from your standard model of meeting girls and dating, is a key mental shift when it comes to pick up.
We go out, we spot cute girls, we rap to em, and we take them home the same night.
That's what this is.
That can have good outcomes or bad outcomes, but that's what we're doing.
It works, because GIRLS LOVE SEX, and they also love spontaneity and danger. It's why they like Bad Boys.
The only reason girls aren't more open about the deep biogical need for sex - is that there is a lot of social stigma (negative) and a lot of power (positive) in pretending they only like sex in certain situations.
However, here is what I wanted help with.
1. I know compliance tests are a huge thing so when I go out again, should I work on trying to lead girls from one part of the venue to another?
Compliance testing ...?
I've always hated this term, but you're not forcing these chicks to do anything. She's only literally "complying", even though compliance has non-consensual connotations. (in American English)
Instead of compliance, You're just giving her better options.
She can stay at this boring old bar looking at her phone, or come dance.
She can stay on this hot sweaty dance floor, or she can feel the breeze of the outside.
She can stay at this loud and crowded club, or come cool out with you at your place, maybe nibble on something, drink something, and have some fun.
And "compliance" is necessary.
If you can not move a girl from one seat to the next, from the bar to the dance floor, from the dance floor to the smoking area - you can't get her to come home with you.
2. My place is usually a 5 to 10 minute Uber away from the venue, how much time are you guys spending talking to women before proposing to bring them back to your place? I have heard some say you can do it within 20 minutes.
You can get a chick to leave the venue with you in 5-15 minutes.
But
she won't necessarily be interested in having sex with you, after only knowing you for 5-15 minutes.
And as you get better with this stuff -
you might not be interested in having sex with her in 5-15 minutes, even if she's got pretty face and a good body.
If she leaves the bar/club with you, and you've done your job well - the sex is basically an afterthought.
A lot of these guys that talk about fast pulls, don't tell the whole story.
- Sometimes, it's 1:50 am, and the club closes at 2 am. There's little to no game involved, the chick is just "wound up" with sexual energy
- Sometimes a fast pull, is just a guy pulling a chick out the club, and the sex is implied. (RSD did this a lot).
- Sometimes the chick is off her rocker - either she's drunk/high, or she's crazy and a clinger. That can easily go bad.
When you get the chick back to your place, it should not be a battle of wills, not trying to coerce her into doing something that she doesn't want to do.
And if I ever pull someone that quickly, I'm gonna spend at least an hour or 2 building up the heat, the anticipation OUTSIDE of the my final destination.
In this era of #MeToo, you want the girl to be practically trying to g(rap)e you as you walk through your front door, instead of being a timid deer purposefully sitting where you can't sit next to her.
3. Say you have a set that is hooked and going well, how do you continue to make the most out of it?
Making the most of it, can mean getting the bang, especially in a PUA sense.
From a
Game perspective, you can make that very first night you mess with a chick (and her friends) into something to remember. And that usually means doing things that you wouldn't normally, and making it okay for them to really do things that they wouldn't normally do.
You can create a new "emotional" reality for a chick (and her friends) by just being a part of it, and getting them wrapped up in the action, in the drama.
If your idea of night game is to be some sort of James Bond Smooth Assassin, or guy with a lot of tricks and gimmicks - this might not make any sense.
But let's say you pull them out of a night club, and go to a public karaoke - and you and her do a great duet of a song that her friends take videos of...
Getting the bang is probably the least important part of that night.
You've got to think about this whole process as more than just a flow chart of actions and routines.
