Emotional ups and downs?

[PinotNoir]

I'm not trying to be a psychic vampire here, but just wondering if you guys go through emotional ups and downs as well.

Like, one day, I'll be super happy for seemingly no reason or there may be a reason. Then, the next day I'll feel just average or even sad. I may even be really happy for 3 days (satisfied that I actually have a job and thankful for my health and comforts and my friends), and then the next 3 days I may be generally sad (thinking about how I don't love my job or just nothing in particular).

Usually though, it seems that I'll just be happy or sad randomly day-to-day.

Is this pretty much normal? I'd rather just be happy every day.

 

[trashKENNUT]

PinotNoir,

Like, one day, I'll be super happy for seemingly no reason or there may be a reason. Then, the next day I'll feel just average or even sad

Exactly. I experiencing the same thing, but logically i recognize it is because we have the expectation that our lifes should be that happy. I think it's more of "standing down", your body is taking it back abit for the next day.

And if you happen to be mostly sad, most likely, it happens with myself that you are not accustomed to happiness. It's a past problem.

Zac

 

[Richard]

Pinot,

Emotional states are created by you - so, if you want to be happy every day it is entirely possible =)

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

I'm not trying to be a psychic vampire here, but just wondering if you guys go through emotional ups and downs as well.

Thanks for bringing this up, Pinot. Yes, I've had many dark nights of the soul. Churchill called it that "black dog." I've found through mindfulness meditation and reciting self-affirmations that I can draw closer to "neutral" on all except the worst days. Note that I didn't say "happy," just neutral. I've found that the two measures work best if they are used at the immediate onset of a emotional "dip." You may wish to look into those practices, if you choose. I could show you sources

Also, check your diet, Pinot. I've found that by pairing my carbs with either nuts or protein and increasing my veggie intake, plus timing meals better, I can more often avoid that mental haze from a quick drop in blood sugar that assists the emotional "plunge." Energy is connected to mood, which is why a cup of coffee can make you perky (and why too much caffeine makes you nervous, etc)

And one more thing, if you really feel like a garbage get in the shower and blast your back with ice cold water for 80 seconds while breathing deeply. I guarantee that if you make it to at least 80 seconds, you will be smiling like an idiot and feel giddy. The freezing water will release a chemical in your brain (noradrenaline) that improves your mood/fights depression. I do this at the end of every shower now. It's difficult, yet so is everything that works

Those are three ways that I've learned to help regulate my mood. I can't manufacture happiness. What I can do is make measures to stay neutral

Emotional states are created by you - so, if you want to be happy every day it is entirely possible =)

Do you mean 'happy" or less sad/neutral? I'd be interested to see what steps you take to achieve that. I don't expect happiness every day (all though it sounds nice).

 

[Richard]

Do you mean 'happy" or less sad/neutral? I'd be interested to see what steps you take to achieve that. I don't expect happiness every day (all though it sounds nice).

Well, it's nearly impossible to be happy all the time unless you have mania or another brain disorder.

But, several things dictate your emotional state - happiness, sadness, neutrality, anger, etc. All of those feelings are not inherently felt by anybody (thought they often seem like they are), and they're not actually felt until your body (brain-body relationship) creates them.

Your overall body composition goes into your initial feeling (physiology which I learned from our beloved Light), as well as your:
-Mental Focus
-Language
-Physiology
-Story You Tell

I'm trying to keep things coherent and not ramble on and on about this because I could explain so much more, but I'll give a brief write-up on each of these - and if you want to learn more I'll be happy to explain away.

*Mental Focus/Story You Tell - Think about this situation. You're up late into the night, it's 1 A.M. and your girlfriend isn't back yet. She left for a while, said she was going to a party with some friends and would be back around 11... The story (how you choose to explain the situation) affects your emotions.

If you think she's cheating on you - you'll react one way.
If you think she got caught up with friends and forgot about the time - you'll react another.
If you think she was on her way back and got into an accident - you'll react another.

and it's your choice to change the story - just ask yourself what else could the situation mean?

Language - This is part of something that Anthony Robbins calls the Triad (language, mental focus, state/physiology) and the Language portion of it is what you say to yourself to explain something.

People have patterns of Language as well - for some people, certain words just automatically put you in a certain mood (whether it's good or bad).

How you say things to yourself is important as well - do you use curse words, is your tone of voice angry or hostile, is it warm and sweet?

All of these sections of Language affect your emotional state as well.

Physiology - Again, I learned this from my good friend Light =P I'm not going to steal his thunder either - he did a nice write up on the power of physiology for overcoming approach anxiety.

But, your physiology can be used to create any mood you want, not just the ones he mentions.

You can find Light's write up here

Again, if you need extra explanation, or have any more questions, feel free to respond

-Richard

 

[Mr.Rob]

Zphix said

emotional states are created by you- so, if you want to be happy everyday it is entirely possible =)

Totally agree with this. I used to be depressed before coming here and since I've been intentional and deliberate in creating a good emotional state for myself everyday my ups and downs tend to be a lot more ripple like than tidal wave like.

For me that means meditation, finding negative/unhealthy thought cycles and working hard to eliminate them (very f-ing hard for me), eating healthy, exercising regularly (releases endorphins and making progress to be more sexy... progress = happiness for the improvement oriented man), and most importantly practicing being grateful and having a grateful heart.

That last one has been so important to my daily happiness and overall success in changing my life/destiny over the past year.

My ups and downs are way more stable than they used to be.

Cool thread though Pinot, as this is something almost everyone struggles with at some point in time.

-Rob

 

[PinotNoir]

Thanks guys. This is some good stuff to think about and use. Just a general breakdown for myself:

Zac - perhaps my past sadness is affecting my present happiness
Z V - I am in control of my body/mind; I can change it; I just need to work on my inner "story" and "language"
GP - possibly diet and other physical things; (maybe I get adrenaline and testosterone highs from activities, and I'm experiencing the crash)
Rob - finding and eliminating negative/unhealthy thoughts; practice being grateful and thankful ("thank you earth for this food")

Lastly, I think media (and negative friends) sometimes affects this. The news always has negative stuff, and it gets a bit draining. I think I'll try to watch less of it.

Thanks again. If you have anymore thoughts, keep them coming.
-PN

 

[Whizzy]

Social media tends to be rather negative too I've found, much like the news

 

[Richard]

Pinot,

From the things you've said - it sounds like your good and bad days might come from your immediate story anyway.

Like, do you ever wake up in the morning and say something like "Ahhh - I don't wanna get up yet!" or "Today's gonna be a long day... I can already feel it"?

-Richard

 

[Verisimilitude]

Pinot- I learned something really cool about this from a teacher at my high school. Every day in our home room class, he'd play this really stupid, cheesy, but really encouraging song. It talked about how today was going to be a great day blah blah blah. In high school, I hated it.

But now I completely get it. You need to wake up every morning and CHOOSE to have a great day. Otherwise, something crappy is bound to happen and you're gonna say, "Ugh I knew today was going to suck".

Emotional ups and downs are natural. Its a part of life. But if you wake up every morning and say, "Today is going to be a kick ass day", it gets you in the right frame of mind.

So when you wake up, play a song that gets you in a good mood. Visualize a good day. And then tell yourself, "Today is going to be a great day". And then go kick some ass!

It sounds like you've gotten some good advice and are on your way there. Depression is tough, I know. Keep your head up

V

 

[Mr.Rob]

building on what versimilitude said, I think that having a good day starts not when you wake up but before you go to sleep the night before.

Everyone knows the expression "you look like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed today", well I think metaphorically to prevent yourself from waking up on the wrong side of the bed you must choose to go to sleep on the right side of the bed to ensure that you won't wake up on the wrong side of the bed.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Hey Richard,

You can find Light's write up here

Thank you for that link! That Anthony Robbins comment about "how" you say things to yourself was interesting too. I'd only ever considered the content, not the tone of my internal voice.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Pinot,

Just in case, I don't think negative emotions are bad at all. You just need to stop and listen what is they you perceiving. IF it's other people problems, Find ways to handle it, like emotional vampirism, as an example.

It's not always our fault. but it's good to know the thinking behind that feeling.

Zac