Energy!

[Energy]

I discovered the PUA community a long time ago (account created at 2019!) but due to different reasons (career, family, approach anxiety, everything... life) I was never be able to take all of this seriously.
Life still throws tons of shit at every one of us but I knew I needed to do it once I understand that that's not even a fucking choice. I'm horny every day. I think about this every day.

I have tons of energy everyday and I spend it on studying, on work, on the gym, still not satisfied. On one hand, that's good, I'm motivated but on the other hand, despite some success in these field, I was never be able to get laid.

I'm not able to really discern this feeling. Is it sex drive, anger, need for respect and dominance, competition spirit, fear, some type of insecurity or anything else ? I don't know, and I don't care. Whatever it is.

It's just that energy.

So let's begin and bring it on!

 

[Energy]

On a sunny day, I saw a gorgeous girl on the bus. It's impossible to not spot her since she's right next to the entrance. She's wearing a jogging pants, showing some skin on her top.
A old man is sitting next to her so I choose a place two row further. I'm ashamed to say this but I was a little bit happy that someone is sitting next to her so I can't approach! A beginner resistance to approach. The good old approach anxiety!

Some five minutes later, I pretend to search for a spot or for someone on the road so I look around me and knew she was clearly remarking my presence. Later, when the old man get up, I get up to and just went straight next to her.
A little eye contact before sitting and she glance back at me. A little smile and she responds too. Confidence goes high. But then, suddenly, as I open her:
- Hi!
- Hi!
- Where are you going ?
- To my boyfriend!

Cold, sudden. Caught me unguarded. I thought she was receptive.

- Well, seems like it's too early for a date, isn't it ? (trying to seems unfazed, with a little nervous laugh)
- No!

I didn't say shit no more.
I went out of the bus without any words after.

The bad:
- Being unprepared
- Voice is not deep enough. She can discern that I'm nervous.
- I could have just ignored this shit and say something like: "I like your shirt, it's stylish" or something else.

The good:
- Hey, I approached!

 

[Energy]

So guess I'm still in the game with the intern I mentioned here. I proposed a date on her and she declined politely mainly because
- it was too formal
- we didn't know each other enough.
- my inexperience: I thought that I need to proposed the date as fast as possible. But that was not the principles.

I caught her again, walking around the office, early in the morning. So i made small talk and tease her a little bit:
- Hello
- Hi!
- A early riser
- Haha.
- It's so cold, huh? Can you lend me this anorak?
- No, I'm' cold too!
- You must have a backup no?
- No.
- You're always wearing black or blue outfit. You must have many of them.
- haha
- From now on, I will name you 'Blue'
- (Just smile)

I think my attempt to gave her a nickname was nice. The nickname was not bad but I don't know if it's good or bad in my situations. All the small talks seems a little bit silly but she's receptive and maintaining eye contact. It was a confidence boost so I decided I need to try again, since her maintaining eye contact may be some SIO.

 

[Energy]

On day, I went to her office, which is shared with 7 other person, to check a network problem on the girl sitting next to her. I had a connection with this girl since the beginning, so we talk a little bit about random sutff while I was checking her computer. My target is sitting just next to her so she's hearing everything we said. She said that there was a problem with her laptop but she was too shy to talk to me so she just share mobile phone connection with my target. I teased her a little bit:
- Don't be that shy!
- (smile)
- What if [my target] had class and you're left alone for a day ? (My target is still going to college, She told me that before so I guess it was a good idea since it's a sort of inside joke)

As i said this, I made sure that my target knew I was begin playful so I looked at her and smile a little bit and she respond.

I saw a folder name 'Breaking Bad' on this girl desktop so we talked about the movie for some time while my target was listening. I guess it was a nice boost for my preselection.

I decided to caught my target in the evening again, when everyone is preparing to leave the office and she's waiting for her coworker to pack their stuff.

She's standing on the corridor with one of her female coworker so I opened:
- Hi!
- Hi!
- Long time no see, huh?! (wtf! why did I said that?! I just saw here in the morning!)
- (just smiling)
- I saw you on the market last Saturday.
- Market? No, I staid home last Saturday.
- Or maybe was it the weekend before ...
- Oh yeah! With a friend
- Doing shopping ?
- Haha, I guess.
- So what did you get ? I like your watch, did you get it there ?
- No, I got it three month ago.
- Let's swap. Here's mine. (A pure chance: I'm wearing a brand new watch this day. It's really a cool one!)
- No, I like mine
- And your purse. Your outfit match very well.
- Thanks! You see, I'm not only wearing black as you said.

She remember our little game some day ago. She's actively participating so I consider it a HUGE positive.

- But you're wearing blue.
- ...

I guess that she's a little bit shy or socially awkward since most of the time, either she don't respond like this or she's just smiling. But I refused to view all these silence as a signs of disinterest.

A little silence occurred, then, I ask if she has an Instagram account. I knew she had but so I didn't wait for her response and handled her my phone so she can put her name on it.
She didn't comply and just gave me her name instead

- My account is [...]. I'm not very active on it though. (A BS, I already checked her account before and it clearly contains lots of pictures. I don't know why she said that.)

I ran out of conversation subject so I decided to grab her facebook too. Since facebook is most popular in my country, I guess it was not awkward.
While I tap her facebook name, I made another comments about her purse.

- You must be really conformable using that purse. Every one of us are using backpacks.
- Yeah!
- ...
- It can carry everything I need and it's light
- ...
- I even put in my water bottle

I didn't comment on this but she insisted that I 'test' how light her purse was. I don't understand.
Then, everyone is ready to leave. She's leaving. We said goodbye and left with each other's friend.

 

[Energy]

Went to the gym today and I encounter a hot woman wearing short and hoodie. She's a regular and we exchange eye contact often but I never talked to her. Today, I managed to make small talk.
First, I asked her where did she put some equipmentd she was using. She replied that she's didn't know what I'm talking about. I tried my best to explain but she was just standing there, blinking.
Later, while I was joking around with the coach, she approached us to ask him what she should do next. The coach point the lat pulldown machine and before they went away, I told her that she can train with me if she didn't know what to do next. Delivered with a smile. She smiles a little bit, stands there awkwardly and then left.
In hindsight, i should have push this conversation further.
Later, she and a male friend of her was standing near the spot where I was working out. I got up and walker towards her, trying to make some small talk again, but she showed something on her phone to her male friend so I guessed it would be awkward for me to jump right into their conversation.
Later, when it was time for her to leave and I'm talking again with a group of guys and the coach around a machine, she hover around me and my group, trying to catch the coach's attention (or mine! who knows?! Always assume attraction!).

I'm disappointed with my lack of courage! I had two occasions to push things further and I didn't do shit!

Anyway, let's see what happens tomorrow.