Energy!

[Energy]

I discovered the PUA community a long time ago (account created at 2019!) but due to different reasons (career, family, approach anxiety, everything... life) I was never be able to take all of this seriously.
Life still throws tons of shit at every one of us but I knew I needed to do it once I understand that that's not even a fucking choice. I'm horny every day. I think about this every day.

I have tons of energy everyday and I spend it on studying, on work, on the gym, still not satisfied. On one hand, that's good, I'm motivated but on the other hand, despite some success in these field, I was never be able to get laid.

I'm not able to really discern this feeling. Is it sex drive, anger, need for respect and dominance, competition spirit, fear, some type of insecurity or anything else ? I don't know, and I don't care. Whatever it is.

It's just that energy.

So let's begin and bring it on!

 

[Energy]

On a sunny day, I saw a gorgeous girl on the bus. It's impossible to not spot her since she's right next to the entrance. She's wearing a jogging pants, showing some skin on her top.
A old man is sitting next to her so I choose a place two row further. I'm ashamed to say this but I was a little bit happy that someone is sitting next to her so I can't approach! A beginner resistance to approach. The good old approach anxiety!

Some five minutes later, I pretend to search for a spot or for someone on the road so I look around me and knew she was clearly remarking my presence. Later, when the old man get up, I get up to and just went straight next to her.
A little eye contact before sitting and she glance back at me. A little smile and she responds too. Confidence goes high. But then, suddenly, as I open her:
- Hi!
- Hi!
- Where are you going ?
- To my boyfriend!

Cold, sudden. Caught me unguarded. I thought she was receptive.

- Well, seems like it's too early for a date, isn't it ? (trying to seems unfazed, with a little nervous laugh)
- No!

I didn't say shit no more.
I went out of the bus without any words after.

The bad:
- Being unprepared
- Voice is not deep enough. She can discern that I'm nervous.
- I could have just ignored this shit and say something like: "I like your shirt, it's stylish" or something else.

The good:
- Hey, I approached!

 

[Energy]

So guess I'm still in the game with the intern I mentioned here. I proposed a date on her and she declined politely mainly because
- it was too formal
- we didn't know each other enough.
- my inexperience: I thought that I need to proposed the date as fast as possible. But that was not the principles.

I caught her again, walking around the office, early in the morning. So i made small talk and tease her a little bit:
- Hello
- Hi!
- A early riser
- Haha.
- It's so cold, huh? Can you lend me this anorak?
- No, I'm' cold too!
- You must have a backup no?
- No.
- You're always wearing black or blue outfit. You must have many of them.
- haha
- From now on, I will name you 'Blue'
- (Just smile)

I think my attempt to gave her a nickname was nice. The nickname was not bad but I don't know if it's good or bad in my situations. All the small talks seems a little bit silly but she's receptive and maintaining eye contact. It was a confidence boost so I decided I need to try again, since her maintaining eye contact may be some SIO.

 

[Energy]

On day, I went to her office, which is shared with 7 other person, to check a network problem on the girl sitting next to her. I had a connection with this girl since the beginning, so we talk a little bit about random sutff while I was checking her computer. My target is sitting just next to her so she's hearing everything we said. She said that there was a problem with her laptop but she was too shy to talk to me so she just share mobile phone connection with my target. I teased her a little bit:
- Don't be that shy!
- (smile)
- What if [my target] had class and you're left alone for a day ? (My target is still going to college, She told me that before so I guess it was a good idea since it's a sort of inside joke)

As i said this, I made sure that my target knew I was begin playful so I looked at her and smile a little bit and she respond.

I saw a folder name 'Breaking Bad' on this girl desktop so we talked about the movie for some time while my target was listening. I guess it was a nice boost for my preselection.

I decided to caught my target in the evening again, when everyone is preparing to leave the office and she's waiting for her coworker to pack their stuff.

She's standing on the corridor with one of her female coworker so I opened:
- Hi!
- Hi!
- Long time no see, huh?! (wtf! why did I said that?! I just saw here in the morning!)
- (just smiling)
- I saw you on the market last Saturday.
- Market? No, I staid home last Saturday.
- Or maybe was it the weekend before ...
- Oh yeah! With a friend
- Doing shopping ?
- Haha, I guess.
- So what did you get ? I like your watch, did you get it there ?
- No, I got it three month ago.
- Let's swap. Here's mine. (A pure chance: I'm wearing a brand new watch this day. It's really a cool one!)
- No, I like mine
- And your purse. Your outfit match very well.
- Thanks! You see, I'm not only wearing black as you said.

She remember our little game some day ago. She's actively participating so I consider it a HUGE positive.

- But you're wearing blue.
- ...

I guess that she's a little bit shy or socially awkward since most of the time, either she don't respond like this or she's just smiling. But I refused to view all these silence as a signs of disinterest.

A little silence occurred, then, I ask if she has an Instagram account. I knew she had but so I didn't wait for her response and handled her my phone so she can put her name on it.
She didn't comply and just gave me her name instead

- My account is [...]. I'm not very active on it though. (A BS, I already checked her account before and it clearly contains lots of pictures. I don't know why she said that.)

I ran out of conversation subject so I decided to grab her facebook too. Since facebook is most popular in my country, I guess it was not awkward.
While I tap her facebook name, I made another comments about her purse.

- You must be really conformable using that purse. Every one of us are using backpacks.
- Yeah!
- ...
- It can carry everything I need and it's light
- ...
- I even put in my water bottle

I didn't comment on this but she insisted that I 'test' how light her purse was. I don't understand.
Then, everyone is ready to leave. She's leaving. We said goodbye and left with each other's friend.

 

[Energy]

Went to the gym today and I encounter a hot woman wearing short and hoodie. She's a regular and we exchange eye contact often but I never talked to her. Today, I managed to make small talk.
First, I asked her where did she put some equipmentd she was using. She replied that she's didn't know what I'm talking about. I tried my best to explain but she was just standing there, blinking.
Later, while I was joking around with the coach, she approached us to ask him what she should do next. The coach point the lat pulldown machine and before they went away, I told her that she can train with me if she didn't know what to do next. Delivered with a smile. She smiles a little bit, stands there awkwardly and then left.
In hindsight, i should have push this conversation further.
Later, she and a male friend of her was standing near the spot where I was working out. I got up and walker towards her, trying to make some small talk again, but she showed something on her phone to her male friend so I guessed it would be awkward for me to jump right into their conversation.
Later, when it was time for her to leave and I'm talking again with a group of guys and the coach around a machine, she hover around me and my group, trying to catch the coach's attention (or mine! who knows?! Always assume attraction!).

I'm disappointed with my lack of courage! I had two occasions to push things further and I didn't do shit!

Anyway, let's see what happens tomorrow.

 

[Energy]

A painful and humbling experience​

The intern that I talked about (see here for FR and above journal for more detail), she ended up with a coworker. Yup! I thought that I can judge every man's seduction aptitude but turns out I was not an intermediate seducer.

Thanks to Jan, I know exactly what I did wrong, apart from the arrogance of pretending to know how to seduce a girl:
- Over analyzing everything: Other men are irrelevant for skilled daters
- Not being present and not listening to her: straightforward
- Trying to force the interaction

I'm writing this because I landed a new job. Of course, new job = new women.
I don't want to make the same mistake again.
And I think that the most important mistake I made was not the one I mentioned above. It has nothing to do with the lack of skill for everyone can learn. My worst mistake was to though that I can get this girl (social circle game!) without going through the rough path.

It's even more hard now because I managed to have my first lay so I must beware of complacency.

 

[Energy]

Another gym girl: blonde, like real blonde, which is very rare in my country. We already encounter each other many times before, as we are both regular but I never talk to her because I was trying to game this one girl earlier in the journal. I saw her staring at me once, but that was all. Of course I knew she was interested but my vibe was a little off lately due to failure.
However, I managed to talk to this girl, using a crafted gym-opening. By chance she is using the machine next to mine:

- Working out alone today ? (She used to train with her little brother and sister)
- Yeah ...
- Where is everyone ?
- They are not very fond of working out
- So... are they your little brother and sister ?
- Yeah
- Hum... Playing the role model big sister huh
- Haha.. no

A little bit later:

- So why are you working out ? Are you an actor ?
- haha.. no
- Model ?
- no
- Je donnes ma langue au chat (meaning that I give up)
- Just for fun and to be healthy.. I guess...
- Ok... Aren't you asking me now ? (This is awkward to write in english but this is one of my favorite line)
- haha...

She actually reignite the conversation this time, so it's a big green flag:

- I actually already did some television
- Oh really ?
- Yeah
- What types of movies are you doing ?
- I'm not doing it anymore
- Why ? Is it not fun to be a celebrity ?
- Nooo... haha

I say the "not fun to be a celebrity" line again later but her friends was always cold. I though this was a a good line (in theory) but it turned out she didn't like it.

- The reason I'm asking you is that I know an actress who look like you
- Who ?
- Have you ever seen the series 13 reasons why ?
- ... Hum... I'm not a big TV series fan

Bam! Conversation killed. I did not know how to prepare for this. I could have asked her what does she likes doing in her free time; something like: "Really ? So what do you like to do when you have time to kill ?'"
Instead, I went back to my machine like a dumbass! But not before asking her for her name without an apparent reason.

And that's it. Let's see how it goes next.
As always, curious and eager to learn if someone is interested in some feedback.

 

[Energy]

Recently got laid. It will try to keep her as girlfriend as she is hot and cute, but I don't want to settle too much. My priority is to hone my skill; everything else comes after.

What I should remember:​

- Handling the relationship well and not falling for Impulsiveness in relationship. Not forgetting the goal of the relationship
- Having sex, tons of sex!
- Being a leader in the relationship

 

[Energy]

10 march​

Approached this cute girl from work. I catch her looking at me several time, I looked and smiled back but today I finally approached her, although in a forced way.

She was getting back to the building after her lunch, as usual, with a guy friend.
Also as usual, we was chilling outside the building and when she came in front of us, she was waving and saying hi.
Everyone respond, and the other guy teased her and cat called her a little bit. Nothing extraordinary; for she knows these guys very well.
I saw her glancing a little bit too long at me so I though that was my go.

I caught them on the front door:

Me: Excuse me, can I borrow you real quick. (I told yall that it was not a smooth approach )
Her: What ?? Borrowing me ?? Am I a furniture or what ?
Her friend: Borrowing ??
Me: Yeah, I though she is really cool. Can I do that ?

At this point, I see that there's a power shift: I gave the power to this girl to say no. But at the same time, I didn't have any clue about other way to approach her.
Waiting for a more perfect opportunity is a risk I should not take. I do not know if it's really a strategic approach or it is AA in disguise.

At the same time, she's a little bit too enthusiastic about talking to me. She's giggling and smiling.

Her: Well, I do not know if you'll rape me or something!
Me: Nah, not today
Her: haha
Guy friend: haha...
Me: So can I borrow her ? (turning to her friend)
Guy friend: I do not know if she's down for that
Her: What do you want ?
Guy friend: I will wait for you over there, okay ?
Me: So where are you working ?
Her: I'm a lawyer at the fifth floor. Are you new here ?
Me: Lawyer ? I never knew there was some lawyer here!
Her: No, actually we are the only non-technical people here

During the whole interaction, which last only around 4 minutes, she always said that she must go, which really make me wonder if either

• she really wants to go or
• if I was not making the interaction entertaining enough for her to stay or
• if she was not comfortable getting approached like that in front of her friend and mine
• if it's some sort of test

I assumed that it was the latter so I told her to stay.
Also, we talked like we already met before.

Her: You have not answered my question. What's your name ? Are you new?
Me: What's yours
Her: I won't tell you my name
Me: I can guess it
Her: You can try

I like to play this guessing game with girls but it didn't land right on this set.

Me: Jessica ?
Her: No...
Me: It's not fair if it's too hard. Is it a local name or a foreign name.
Her: A little bit foreign. I dunno.
Me: Are you mixed ?
Her: No, I mean I do not know what my parents have done, but I don't think so
Me: What ...
Her: I mean... I am not mixed.. at all... I dunno

She barely let me speak without interrupting me with either "I should go now" or with anxious comments like these.

Me: Let me guess...
Her: You will never find it. It's too hard.
Me: Too hard ?
Her: Yeah, it is the name of a tennis player
Me: Oh I see it's actually easy... Serena
Her: No... I said it was local name
Me: You just said that it was a foreign name
Her: No... I mean... the name is foregin but the tennis player is from here.
Me: I don't know ... I'm not a fan of tennis
(She says the name)

Here I missed an opportunity to:

• jump on that thread: tennis as a hobby, why your parents choose that, etc.
• reward her for giving me her name,
• maybe by saying "that's a cute name",
• touching her or teasing her.

Now she says that she should go because my friend were watching us. I though that I need more compliance because as I said I do not really know where I stand in the seduction process.

Me: Let's move there then so they won't see us anymore

I put my arms around her shoulder, lead her gently. She's following me but reluctantly.

Her: So what's your name ?

I though about replaying the guessing game but I though that she will talk to a stranger as long as she don't know my name

Me: I'm xxx
Her: Oh nice to meet you
Me: Nice to meet you
Her: I wont give you my number. Haha
Me: Really? Why?

This was my worst mistake that day. I accepted her frame! I was the pursuer. I could have respond in many ways like:

• "I would have already got it if I want to!"
• or even a simple "Don't rush me! I didn't ask for your number yet!"

I just accepted planly that I wanted her number even though my plan form the beginning was to build some rapport first and take her number only after a planned date.
But she go on...

Her: I'm too much of a bad girl for you
Me: Cool, bad girls are what I want (too generic anwser, again making me the pursuer)
Her: haha...

After some more banter like that, she again said that she should go and this time, her body really turned away from me.
She waved goodbye and I respond, staying still, not making any type of chasing.

 

[Energy]

11 march​

The day after, I meet her again, with the same situation but this time, she was with a girl friend. When they walked in front of us, a friend of mine waved them and they shook our hands. We all teased them and hold their hands. After that, I again followed her to the front door but this time, she did not want to stay. She immediately ran away, saying that she should go to work.
I tried to tease her a little bit about still buying a newspaper but it was forced.

Again: I end up literally chasing her.

I did not have the time to reflect on what I had done the date before, but I'm pretty sure I made so many fatal mistake during this first interaction:

• The most important one: not chasing girls. I should have put some chase frame when I had the occasion, because the way that I approached her gave her the power over me
• Having a strong frame: I let her dictate what I want; which is very bad

On the other hand, the good news is that I manage to

• Keep my composure when I realize I made some mistake in front of many people
• Flirting and eye contact during the conversation

NEXT STEP WITH THIS GIRL: in case I encounter her again, I will make sure I dictate the frame of the converstation by:

• setting a chase frame
• finding a way to approach her in a socially calibrated way (not chasing her from the back like I used to)

I do not want to be emotionally involved with this girl (since I already know how bad a hot coworker can mess with your mind). Since I will met with her more frequently than I would like, I need to be less invested from the get-go in case something turns wrong.