FR Escalation and how to deal when you fail to escalate

[Developing_Man]

So i went on a date last night to a pub in Toronto.
The girl and took some time to vibe but we vibed, we were sitting across the table which I normally don't like because it makes it difficult to physically escalate.
I entered the date in a bad mood cause the rejection from another girl 3 days ago threw me off, which internally i am struggling with surprisingly... i don't get bothered by rejections. This girl was 36 and in totally different stage of life, so I shouldnt be too surprised and I am 37.
I did cement the idea for a second date at candle lit concert and sent her a text for a date and time this morning.

However I realized with most first dates, if I don't escalate to a kiss... i never get a second date. Some people view physical escalation in public a good or bad thing. I did take Coach Kyle and he is big on escalating on the first date. So I was wondering if there was a way I can salvage it or consider it dead.

 

[DarkJedi]

Yeah for me as well, I need to escalate to a kiss on a first date for it to move forward. In GirlsChase it is advised to not kiss till you bring the girl home, but I think its a bit more advanced and something I want to work towards.

Basically, a girl needs to feel sexual tension and attraction in the date for her to want to keep on seeing you. If you have your sexual vibe, eye contact etc. on point, you can manage that without kissing, and in that case it is even better than kissing since kissing reduces tension somewhat. But if your sexual vibe isn't very strong, it might be too platonic without a kiss.

With a kiss, you make it clear to the girl that you want to make things sexual and not keep it friendly. What I do is to keep the kisses short, and always end them myself, so as to not dissipate too much tension.

As for the sitting across the table problem, if there's a middle chair, ask her to move closer to that after sometime. Or change venues and go for a walk where you could escalate.

Some people view physical escalation in public a good or bad thing.

I tend to go for the first kiss when there's less onlookers, so that she feels less self conscious: walking in a quiet street, just outside the bar when leaving, sitting at a park bench, etc.

 

[Zoro]

So i went on a date last night to a pub in Toronto.
The girl and took some time to vibe but we vibed, we were sitting across the table which I normally don't like because it makes it difficult to physically escalate.
I entered the date in a bad mood cause the rejection from another girl 3 days ago threw me off, which internally i am struggling with surprisingly... i don't get bothered by rejections. This girl was 36 and in totally different stage of life, so I shouldnt be too surprised and I am 37.
I did cement the idea for a second date at candle lit concert and sent her a text for a date and time this morning.

However I realized with most first dates, if I don't escalate to a kiss... i never get a second date. Some people view physical escalation in public a good or bad thing. I did take Coach Kyle and he is big on escalating on the first date. So I was wondering if there was a way I can salvage it or consider it dead.

In public, small touches like leading her by the small of her back, touching her on the forearm, hand on the shoulder, thigh, hand, make for a different vibe compared to no touching at all.

If you don't "break the touch barrier" then it can start to feel like a bigger and bigger wall. Just a tip for the next date.

I think probably escalation was an issue here, but like Dark Jedi said, I think it's more about sexual tension. I had a cousin once tell me he was getting bored with dating so he would wait to escalate until she begged him to fuck her, this would sometimes be a few dates in IIRC. He was an advanced natural, but I'd bet there was tons of sexual tension.

Sexual tension is part of "that spark" that women want to feel.

 

[Developing_Man]

Yeah for me as well, I need to escalate to a kiss on a first date for it to move forward. In GirlsChase it is advised to not kiss till you bring the girl home, but I think its a bit more advanced and something I want to work towards.

Basically, a girl needs to feel sexual tension and attraction in the date for her to want to keep on seeing you. If you have your sexual vibe, eye contact etc. on point, you can manage that without kissing, and in that case it is even better than kissing since kissing reduces tension somewhat. But if your sexual vibe isn't very strong, it might be too platonic without a kiss.

With a kiss, you make it clear to the girl that you want to make things sexual and not keep it friendly. What I do is to keep the kisses short, and always end them myself, so as to not dissipate too much tension.

Yeah I took Kyles' bootcamp and it was the complete opposite philosphy. He always talks about ensuring you have seating to allow you to escalate. And I don't think I can create sexual tension verbally... I need to be physcially close and drop my voice and start touching side by side,

I think probably escalation was an issue here, but like Dark Jedi said, I think it's more about sexual tension. I had a cousin once tell me he was getting bored with dating so he would wait to escalate until she begged him to fuck her, this would sometimes be a few dates in IIRC. He was an advanced natural, but I'd bet there was tons of sexual tension.

I don't have that level of skill... but I have another friend who is really good at that, albeit he has been in the dating market 4 years longer than I have and has way more experience with women than I do. But I am just going to stick with what gets me results... sitting side by side, bedroom eyes, low voice, touching and when the vibe hits and that voice in my head goes... i goes... its as simple as that.

 

[Developing_Man]

Also how do you verbally create sexual tension... cause like I am completely reliant on proximity, touching and tonality and eyes... but I am not good with conversing sexually... know what I mean...

 

[gameboy]

Personally I also prefer to go for the makeout first, and in my experience it leads to a pull or day2 at my place or hers more often than not.