FR Espresso&Cream (Night Street Game) (K-Close)

[Marty]

Decided to file this FR immediately after getting home

Tonight at about 12.40 AM I wake up and can't sleep. I waste about a half-hour prevaricating between straight night game (e.g. cocktail bar) and night street game, and then I think "fuck it", I dress sharp and at 1.45 AM I head out on foot toward the city's most lively intersection to get my first-ever experience in night street game; I figure it will take me 30 minutes to walk there. I never make it )

As I am making the final turn, I espy two girls happily chatting on the opposite side of the street, walking toward me, still a good 250 feet away. I skip across and continue in their direction. They seem in no hurry. As they are about to pass I open.

• Marty: Hey girls, how's it going?

They smile, laugh, greet me cheerily and keep walking. One of them is truly cute and gives me good eye contact. I wait for them to pass, then call them back.

• Marty: Hey, do you have a second please?

They stop, turn back, and look at me expectantly. I address the hot one directly, ignoring for the moment the other.

• Marty: I just saw you walk past and wanted to tell you... (pause)... that you have the most beautiful hair. What's your name?
  
  Espresso&Cream: Espresso&Cream
  
  Marty: Hey Espresso&Cream, I'm Marty. (Hold out my hand and take hers, getting pretty close.) Nice to meet you. (I turn my head to the other, smile "friendly", but keep my body language neutral.) And your name?
  
  GoldenFriend: GoldenFriend (smiles, takes my hand too).

I go straight into rapport-building, with heavy banter interspersed; they are rooted to the spot. Espresso&Cream is a grad student, working as an admin assistant in a business district office to make ends meet; the other is in a new job. They moved together to the city 3 months ago from out-of-state. I give 90% of my attention to Espresso&Cream, bringing in GoldenFriend 10% of the time for politeness. She is totally on board with this; they tell me they are best friends, and GoldenFriend discreetly allows me to get close to Espresso&Cream. A few times throughout the interaction I verify that she's okay with how I'm hitting on her friend, to keep her on the same page, but it's barely necessary, she's totally good with it. That's why I've called her GoldenFriend

Espresso&Cream has the jet-black hair, brows and eyelashes characteristic of Italian ancestry with contrasting creamy skin—I find this unbelievably easy on the eyes )) totally fine with me )))) Later she tells me her family background is Italian; that and the coloration is why I've chosen this imaginative name for her (sorry to labor the point, haha!)

Okay, back to the main narrative. After 2 minutes of conversation I move them in the following manner:

• Marty: Don't let me keep you from going the direction you were heading, was it this way? (walk back with them)

This turns out to be a serendipitous move as they live together in an apartment complex right next to my condominium, so we walk all the way back without inconveniencing either party. Haha! Before this becomes totally apparent, a few times GoldenFriend asks Espresso&Cream to check with me if I am not being led away from the direction I was going; I assume this is a tentative blocking move to check she is comfortable with me, but she totally is. As I deep-dive Espresso&Cream, I first use leading touch for perhaps 2-3 minutes, thereafter she allows me alternately to have my arm around her, hold her hand in the traditional manner, and hold hands with fingers interlocked. GoldenFriend walks several paces behind while being on-and-off involved in the conversation.

Espresso&Cream has some fun with me on the walk, telling me I'm polite, gentlemanly, and whatnot, and I ask her: "Not too polite I hope? That would be boring..." while grasping her hand firmly and getting very close, right up into the intimate zone. This makes her giggle. At one point early on, I actually politely ask GoldenFriend to move aside so that I can walk close to Espresso&Cream, but she tells me that's exactly what she is doing, not to worry about her (I had been overly concerned that I was walking right in front of her and blocking her; they're right, I'm a bit too gallant sometimes). I take this as a firm sign that I've won GoldenFriend over and from that moment on I'm exceedingly friendly to her. I love best friends like that, who actually encourage you ))

There comes a time when a homeless man pesters us quite assertively for some money and I am forced to close him down firmly but politely, causing some hilarity among the girls. I am not going to bore anyone with details of the rest of the conversation; it was just a classic deep-dive interspersed with occasional "coming up for air" on lighter topics, and lots of early romantic touch throughout as I mentioned.

I can't invite them to my place; it's out of the question right now. As we reach their place, I very gently ask Espresso&Cream if she will invite me in for a cup of tea; she declines on the grounds we've just met, and I don't push it, but she thanks me for letting her get comfortable with me. "Is that okay?" She actually offers her number and proactively says that she would like to meet me and chat. By now GoldenFriend has in fact run ahead to the apartment to allow us to close properly! GoldenFriend is my friend too )

Espresso&Cream cheek-kisses me and then actually tries to hug me hard, but I tell her "That's a little neutral; let's kiss properly" and we enjoy a pretty good kiss. (Manhandle kiss would be inappropriate, I feel, the vibe is not quite heated up enough.) I fully acknowledge I'm not there yet—I know you're not supposed to number-close in night street game, it's a little tame—but 2 K-Closes in just over a week is not bad, considering where I was before: especially with this one being in cold approach

Critique? Comments? She already logged my number at the close (canceled call). Shall I run this as classic game from here on: no icebreaker presumably, I already figured out with her what nights are good for dates so wait till... maybe Monday to text my proposal? Help very much welcomed!! Thanks guys!

 

[PrettyDecent]

Marty - Rock on, my friend!

Haven't had much experience in the domain of interactions with two different women - but it seems like you did a great job with GoldenFriend.

In my experience, walking is a tough, difficult way to build rapport (though, I understand you didn't really have a choice on that). Comfort comes from lots of direct EC, I believe. Conversely, she was excited by you, and liked you a good deal, so I thought not going for the Hard Push and accepting her off for the date was the right move.

You might want to text her the day before one of her available days to set up a time and place - icebreaker is probably neutral in this case, you can but don't have to send it - but note I don't have much experience in night-game closing. I'd defer my opinion to better

Espresso&Cream cheek-kisses me and then actually tries to hug me hard, but I tell her "That's a little neutral; let's kiss properly" and we enjoy a pretty good kiss.

Sending internet fistbumps your way. That's awesome.

~Nick

 

[Grand Pooba]

Marty,

Loved reading this! Sounds like the advice to go out and try things even when you don't feel like it pays off.

They smile, laugh, greet me cheerily and keep walking. One of them is truly cute and gives me good eye contact. I wait for them to pass, then call them back.

Marty: Hey, do you have a second please?
They stop, turn back, and look at me expectantly. I address the hot one directly, ignoring for the moment the other.

Marty: I just saw you walk past and wanted to tell you... (pause)... that you have the most beautiful hair. What's your name?

Excellent approach, polite, very smooth and direct, and it sounds like she loved it.

I go straight into rapport-building, with heavy banter interspersed;

Do you recall or are able to share some of the banter you had in that two minutes?

Espresso&Cream cheek-kisses me and then actually tries to hug me hard, but I tell her "That's a little neutral; let's kiss properly" and we enjoy a pretty good kiss. (Manhandle kiss would be inappropriate, I feel, the vibe is not quite heated up enough.) I fully acknowledge I'm not there yet—I know you're not supposed to number-close in night street game, it's a little tame—but 2 K-Closes in just over a week is not bad, considering where I was before: especially with this one being in cold approach

Is kiss closing appropriate in certain situations/is that something to strive for in dates, in encounters and such? I know that in other parts of this site it's also suggested to wait until you reach a proper escalation location before escalating physically, and that kissing outside of this realm releases tension that you want to keep. Perhaps I am misunderstanding the concept?

Either way, great work, it's inspiring me to go out and try the same!

 

[Marty]

Thanks guys. Let me try to respond to some of your follow-up.

Is kiss closing appropriate in certain situations/is that something to strive for in dates, in encounters and such? I know that in other parts of this site it's also suggested to wait until you reach a proper escalation location before escalating physically, and that kissing outside of this realm releases tension that you want to keep.

Ozz: I want to start with this, because I want to make very clear that in no circumstances should you ever take anything I write here as prescriptive, as a suggestion of what you "should" do. It's intended to be purely descriptive, not normative. You are absolutely right, I have read the same thing, and I believe it fully; you have to understand that I am starting from a very low base. Women-wise, I am just a regular Joe who had a handful of girlfriends in his youth, then spent over a decade grudgingly monogamous; I only discovered Girls Chase in April, after an interaction went wrong, and in May I started doing something about it, so I've been practicing 6 months. Add to that the fact that I'm a slow learner—by contrast, Tool Vaunswa went from zero to Girls Chase hero in a year—and you'll see that all I'm trying to do is report back on my experiences.

In the case in point, I didn't believe I was able to pull off the lay, so I wanted (a) to see what I could do, just out of interest and (b) up her compliance in the (possibly vain) hope of increasing her investment. That's all. I have no doubt I was wrong, and while I can maintain a confident, assertive frame early on in the interaction, I get pretty needy as I get closer to intimacy, due to lack of abundance: it's something I have to work on. You're right to call it out.

Excellent approach, polite, very smooth and direct, and it sounds like she loved it.

Thanks. That reminds me I should mention a few things I left out last night (I was pretty tired at 3 AM!):

• As they came toward me the girls had obviously been dealing with some less-than-impressive men at the night venue, as they were saying something like "I think he was hitting on you..." "Yeah, I think he was hitting on me" etc. (no idea who said what, I hadn't yet sorted them out as my opening was imminent)
  
• In contrast to day-game, I did not get close immediately upon delivering the direct opener; I think that at 2 AM with no one else around, a pre-opening touch and conspiratorial drawing near would have landed me a face full of CS gas or the like before I'd even opened my mouth. Rather, I used an NLP-inspired display of openness, a kind of "assertive humility", if you like, unbuttoning my coat and spreading my arms with palms upward like Cristo Redentor in Rio. They took a couple steps back, but I lengthened the pauses considerably as I watched them adjusting to the presence of the stranger, and they quickly got comfortable enabling me to get very close to Espresso&Cream on the hand-hold. I kept it slow and confident (I'd guess a casual mugger would be quick and nervous). Frankly, that's all purely interpersonal sensitivity that I had available to me even before setting foot here. Also helps that I have the accent and intonation of a BBC announcer (or think Lord Grantham from Downton Abbey)—also a source of constant comment throughout the conversation!
  
• An amusing interaction took place about five minutes into the conversation:
  
  Marty: You seem pretty smart for your years; how old are you, if you don't mind my asking?
  
  Girls: bla bla bla Liberty Bell bla bla Pennsylvania bla bla (this bullshit continues for like two minutes, then...)
  
  Espresso&Cream: I'm so sorry, Marty, what did you ask me?
  
  Marty: I asked how old you were.
  
  Espresso&Cream: 23. (sotto voce) old enough ;-)
  
  Marty: Yeah I know you're OLD ENOUGH, I didn't have any concern on that note (general hilarity, then conversation continues)

In my experience, walking is a tough, difficult way to build rapport (though, I understand you didn't really have a choice on that). Comfort comes from lots of direct EC, I believe

Hey Nick, great to hear back from you as always. This is exactly right. I didn't have the "bubble" and was never quite there in terms of feeling really connected and close, so I was happy enough with the outcome. I have a feeling she's gonna try and spin things out though...

Haven't had much experience in the domain of interactions with two different women - but it seems like you did a great job with GoldenFriend.

Weirdly, though I'm reluctant—yet—to attempt much in the way of group approaches by day, the night atmosphere (knowing that they'd be somewhat receptive, perhaps) actually made me more assertive. By virtue of the extra person, it seemed easier to break the ice.

note I don't have much experience in night-game closing.

This was strictly night-time street game. The unexpectedly good result on first attempt, though, inspires me to try some night game proper soon!

-Marty

 

[Grand Pooba]

Ozz: I want to start with this, because I want to make very clear that in no circumstances should you ever take anything I write here as prescriptive, as a suggestion of what you "should" do. It's intended to be purely descriptive, not normative. You are absolutely right, I have read the same thing, and I believe it fully; you have to understand that I am starting from a very low base. Women-wise, I am just a regular Joe who had a handful of girlfriends in his youth, then spent over a decade grudgingly monogamous; I only discovered Girls Chase in April, after an interaction went wrong, and in May I started doing something about it, so I've been practicing 6 months. Add to that the fact that I'm a slow learner—by contrast, Tool Vaunswa went from zero to Girls Chase hero in a year—and you'll see that all I'm trying to do is report back on my experiences.

In the case in point, I didn't believe I was able to pull off the lay, so I wanted (a) to see what I could do, just out of interest and (b) up her compliance in the (possibly vain) hope of increasing her investment. That's all. I have no doubt I was wrong, and while I can maintain a confident, assertive frame early on in the interaction, I get pretty needy as I get closer to intimacy, due to lack of abundance: it's something I have to work on. You're right to call it out.

Hey Marty,
Reading over my comment I feel I may have been a bit misleading in it's message: I was actually quite impressed with what you did and how well it worked in the moment (who doesn't want to kiss a beautiful stranger right after meeting them on the street??), and was curious about the reason why you did it that way (which you've given), rather than trying to call you out on it, so to speak. I hope that I didn't come off as challenging you, as that wasn't my intention. I too am starting from a very low base, am still learning and have a LOT more to learn as I'm realizing through numerous failure over the past month, and have only been active on the boards and actively practicing for a little over a month!

By the way, I tried the same style of opener today at the mall where I went out to practice my game ("I just HAD to tell you...that you have the most gorgeous hair I've seen all day!"), and ended up with an instant date at a nearby bar for drinks about an hour later. I can't believe how well this worked! So...thank you for the idea ;-)

 

[Marty]

Hey Ozz:

I was actually quite impressed with what you did and how well it worked in the moment (who doesn't want to kiss a beautiful stranger right after meeting her on the street??)

Thanks Ozz, that makes me feel better about it. While I try to take in my stride her predictable tactic of not answering my calls and ignoring my texts, I admit it still makes me a little jumpy. Women always seem to run my aspirations through the tumble-dryer so that I am completely worn out by the time I get to meet them again. If there is a way of preventing this, I've yet to hear of it.

What's more, it's the same every time—she seems so enthusiastic in the moment, and then something happens when it actually comes to following through. This one proposed the date herself, of all things! Some people on this site seem to make an awful fuss of paying for dates for some reason, but frankly I'd far rather shell out for a drink and bite to eat than deal with this will-she-won't-she nonsense, which is so much more costly emotionally speaking.

By the way, I tried the same style of opener today ... I can't believe how well this worked! So... thank you for the idea ;-)

Theoretically always glad to be of service, but in actual fact all credit for this goes to Chase; the tactic is described in detail in his article Genuine Interest Dynamite.

-Marty