FR Evening coffee daygame

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

Hi, went to Starbucks to get my coffee before going to class. Saw this cute girl waiting for her order sitting down. While standing, I approached her

Me: Wow, it’s really dark all of a sudden, was it this bad last year(in reference to daylight savings)?

Her: Yea, I don’t remember(rambled on a bit).

Me: Yea, sucks especially now that I gotta go to class in the dark? Where are you headed.

Her: Back home to take a nap.

Me: Goddamn you, rubbing it in my face, I just finished a nap(tease attempt).

We exchange names, I extend for handshake and trade more lines of chat, just getting to know her.

Finally, I get my coffee before her, and proceed to grab her contact info before I leave.

Me: Hey [girl] it was nice meeting you. Real quick, do you have Snapchat, we could meet back here for a coffee soon?

Her: Yea, I have Snapchat.

We proceed to exchange contact information.

Me: Ur down to meet for coffee, right?

Her: Perhaps.

Me: Yea, prolly good that you said perhaps. I don’t know you well enough. You’re cute but you could be trouble.

At this point she’s giggling and we part ways.

I texted her on snap:

Hey [name] nice meeting you at Starbucks today. Hopefully you enjoyed your nap which you rubbed in my face while I rotted in class.

She hasn’t responded yet, could honestly be a FU report soon enough.

Any mistakes and anything I can improve on? Open to any feedback.

 

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

Update: It’s been a few hours since I texted her, I think she’s leaving me on delivered

 

[Will_V]

Hi, went to Starbucks to get my coffee before going to class. Saw this cute girl waiting for her order sitting down. While standing, I approached her

Me: Wow, it’s really dark all of a sudden, was it this bad last year(in reference to daylight savings)?

Her: Yea, I don’t remember(rambled on a bit).

Me: Yea, sucks especially now that I gotta go to class in the dark? Where are you headed.

Her: Back home to take a nap.

Me: Goddamn you, rubbing it in my face, I just finished a nap(tease attempt).

We exchange names, I extend for handshake and trade more lines of chat, just getting to know her.

Finally, I get my coffee before her, and proceed to grab her contact info before I leave.

Me: Hey [girl] it was nice meeting you. Real quick, do you have Snapchat, we could meet back here for a coffee soon?

It's a minor thing, but if you're already at a place, suggesting a future date at the same place is a bit of a flat note.

Her: Yea, I have Snapchat.

We proceed to exchange contact information.

Me: Ur down to meet for coffee, right?

You don't need to confirm like this, it smacks of indecisiveness and uncertainty.

If she didn't give you signs of interest when you suggested it the first time, maybe mention it again in a different way (after building more connection/rapport/excitement), e.g. "when are you free this week?".

Her: Perhaps.

Me: Yea, prolly good that you said perhaps. I don’t know you well enough. You’re cute but you could be trouble.

At this point she’s giggling and we part ways.

Well done on flipping that in her face. However it doesn't seem like you qualified her enough during the approach overall. At this point:

- She doesn't know anything about you.
- You don't know anything about her.
- She hasn't had to prove anything to you.
- She doesn't know what you like about her (except she's cute).
- You know she's not completely sold on you (her 'perhaps').

This adds up to a low chance that the number is gonna go anywhere. By fixing a few or all of the above things, you can improve those chances a lot.

I texted her on snap:

Hey [name] nice meeting you at Starbucks today. Hopefully you enjoyed your nap which you rubbed in my face while I rotted in class.

Not the best, sounds like you couldn't think of anything to say so you just took your previous line and tried to run it even harder (we've all been there, this also tends to happen with girls you had a very superficial meeting with).

The best way to prevent this is to touch on a bunch of things during the approach you can comment on or mix together in your comment.

In this case, since she gave you a little bit of attitude, and responded well to being told she looked like trouble, I'd say something like:

"Hey trouble, nice meeting you at starbucks today save my number <your name>"

A bit teasing, a bit commanding, definitely not boring, and matches her energy.

 

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

It's a minor thing, but if you're already at a place, suggesting a future date at the same place is a bit of a flat note.

Noted, will try to make the date idea more unique next time.

You don't need to confirm like this, it smacks of indecisiveness and uncertainty.

If she didn't give you signs of interest when you suggested it the first time, maybe mention it again in a different way (after building more connection/rapport/excitement), e.g. "when are you free this week?".

She didn’t really give an answer the first tome, but I probably could have been more affirmative in my ask the first time, which is what I was trying to do. Felt the time constraint as I had to go to class and had my coffee, but tbh I tell girls that I wish I was late to class all the time as a joke(tbh it’s partially true).

Well done on flipping that in her face. However it doesn't seem like you qualified her enough during the approach overall. At this point:

- She doesn't know anything about you.
- You don't know anything about her.
- She hasn't had to prove anything to you.
- She doesn't know what you like about her (except she's cute).
- You know she's not completely sold on you (her 'perhaps').

This adds up to a low chance that the number is gonna go anywhere. By fixing a few or all of the above things, you can improve those chances a lot.

Thanks for that, but yea I definitely didn’t qualify her at all till the end, where I called her cute. I bantered a bit when she told me about herself, but yea I need to remember to qualify on something outside of her looks.

Not the best, sounds like you couldn't think of anything to say so you just took your previous line and tried to run it even harder (we've all been there, this also tends to happen with girls you had a very superficial meeting with).

The best way to prevent this is to touch on a bunch of things during the approach you can comment on or mix together in your comment.

In this case, since she gave you a little bit of attitude, and responded well to being told she looked like trouble, I'd say something like:

"Hey trouble, nice meeting you at starbucks today save my number <your name>"

A bit teasing, a bit commanding, definitely not boring, and matches her energy

Yea, I’ll try that next time, btw got her snap, so she knows who I am. Tbh this was a pretty superficial meeting, could’ve tried prolonging the interaction a few more minutes, she didn’t have anywhere else to go.

Thanks for the tips, will definitely keep in mind for future approaches and try to implement them! Especially qualifying girls.

 

[Will_V]

Noted, will try to make the date idea more unique next time.

You don't have to talk it up, it's more about maintaining her curiosity and sense of novelty throughout.

She didn’t really give an answer the first tome, but I probably could have been more affirmative in my ask the first time, which is what I was trying to do. Felt the time constraint as I had to go to class and had my coffee, but tbh I tell girls that I wish I was late to class all the time as a joke(tbh it’s partially true).

When she doesn't respond to a fairly big request for compliance (date suggestion) it's a sign she's not bought in yet, and you don't want to then number close since you can't really build anything over text, you can only convert what already exists. That's when you know you'll need to spend more time building up her interest and compliance.

Something to keep in mind.

You responded well to her 'perhaps' though, that was a highlight and exactly how to flip a dead end into a little excitement.

Thanks for that, but yea I definitely didn’t qualify her at all till the end, where I called her cute. I bantered a bit when she told me about herself, but yea I need to remember to qualify on something outside of her looks.

Yeah, and it doesn't need to be a blatant qualification like "I like X about you" though you can do that sometimes. It can also be worked into the conversation, like e.g.

Her "I'm studying <some boring thing>"
You looking dubious: "Do you enjoy that or did you just pick something?"
Her: "I really enjoy it! Especially X, Y, and Z"
You: give her some verbal or nonverbal validation.

That's you implicitly saying "I want a girl who knows what she wants" and her proving "I'm a girl who knows what she wants" and then getting a small reward. You can do that sort of thing like 10 or 15 times in an approach, and it completely changes the way she feels about you afterward.

Yea, I’ll try that next time, btw got her snap, so she knows who I am. Tbh this was a pretty superficial meeting, could’ve tried prolonging the interaction a few more minutes, she didn’t have anywhere else to go.

Yeah, if you sense she isn't sold, and neither of you are in a hurry, it's best to keep working your way to a high note before number closing.

By the way, when texting it's best imo to clearly separate the icebreaker and the follow up. An icebreaker is something she doesn't need to respond to (it's just to break the ice) but the followup is something you definitely want her to reply to. That means it's often good to have a standard icebreaker, and then for the followup, you want to say something that gives her a clear prompt to reply - something unique to her (preferably that calls back to the interaction you had), substantial, and preferably with a question.

Don't forget to check out the text guide.

 

[Definitely_not_a_gymrat]

You don't have to talk it up, it's more about maintaining her curiosity and sense of novelty throughout.

Noted

When she doesn't respond to a fairly big request for compliance (date suggestion) it's a sign she's not bought in yet, and you don't want to then number close since you can't really build anything over text, you can only convert what already exists. That's when you know you'll need to spend more time building up her interest and compliance.

Something to keep in mind.

You responded well to her 'perhaps' though, that was a highlight and exactly how to flip a dead end into a little excitement.

Thanks, imma try to keep flipping like that in the future. Only reason I went for number(Snapchat) close is because I had to go. Maybe next time if she isn’t feeling the convo or doesn’t reply to my big compliance request I just wish her a good day and don’t ask for contact info.

Yeah, and it doesn't need to be a blatant qualification like "I like X about you" though you can do that sometimes. It can also be worked into the conversation, like e.g.

Her "I'm studying <some boring thing>"
You looking dubious: "Do you enjoy that or did you just pick something?"
Her: "I really enjoy it! Especially X, Y, and Z"
You: give her some verbal or nonverbal validation.

That's you implicitly saying "I want a girl who knows what she wants" and her proving "I'm a girl who knows what she wants" and then getting a small reward. You can do that sort of thing like 10 or 15 times in an approach, and it completely changes the way she feels about you afterward.

Noted, will try that next time. Didn’t qualify her at all tbh till the end and was only on her looks.

Yeah, if you sense she isn't sold, and neither of you are in a hurry, it's best to keep working your way to a high note before number closing.

By the way, when texting it's best imo to clearly separate the icebreaker and the follow up. An icebreaker is something she doesn't need to respond to (it's just to break the ice) but the followup is something you definitely want her to reply to. That means it's often good to have a standard icebreaker, and then for the followup, you want to say something that gives her a clear prompt to reply - something unique to her (preferably that calls back to the interaction you had), substantial, and preferably with a question.

Don't forget to check out the text guide.

Tbh I was in a bit of a hurry to class, and felt that she might have left after getting her order, so I felt the time constraints.
Will keep in mind separating icebreaker and follow up for next time.