Everyone is special... Right?

[Kaive Cosmus]

Hey guys my name is Kaive,

I'm with girlschase since around 2016. It's been a wild ride and in the end when I thought damn I can get who ever I want I met my now wife and mother of my two lovely children.

So far so good... But times and trouble pass and interest faded a little. I said I wanna date other girls and she hurt but agreed. She replied you lead I follow.

But here's the deal... Pretty much no time to go out and game due to my beloved kids, new job etc. And lost skill caused by 6 years of being with my wife. I've reread articles and get girls chasing and lot more but my approach anxiety is more severe than in the beginning. May it be due to the fact that I am affright I could cause drama with my wife or that im rejected because I'm drained from life.

Anyway, I want to dig up my former corps, give it a makeover and hit the streets for some beloved day game. Question is though, how?

Soon I will be working in public transportation to get into the habit of chatting with random people again.

While all that I realize, I have no clear goal of what I want. Guess I'll just report my journey to the sheets of love and the scent of seduction.

So far best regards

Read you soon

Kaive

 

[Lucky]

For the AA
Hector
otherwise is plenty of articles on the main site...

best of luck with the continued journey

 

[Kaive Cosmus]

So I just did a street stop, well I tryed and when I say a street stop I actually did it half hearted. I stepped in her way but not really just so that she has to turn shoulders. I reached my hand out In a stop motion but only liftet my hand to my waist maximum. She was in a hurry to catch a train or something, we are at a main station. The overall experience was good because I just tryed.

But the effect on my mood and body is severely. I lost All my energy and my mood is down. Even though I know it's just a passing thing but how do I keep my mood, how to get back my rejection resilience?

 

[Kaive Cosmus]

For the AA
Hector
otherwise is plenty of articles on the main site...

best of luck with the continued journey

What do you mean with AA? Approach anxiety good morning

Yeah I'm all ready digging the main thanks for that I appreciate.

This threat is more like a game diary of some sort where I'd love to hear some thought of others.

 

[Michael Chief]

I said I wanna date other girls and she hurt but agreed. She replied you lead I follow.

Hi I consider myself the polyamory specialist around here. What kind of relationship arrangement did you two agree on? Just an open marriage where you're allowed to have sex with others, but not fall in love? Or for you to potentially have other real relationships? Or something else? How did she describe her feelings about all this? What were those conversations with your wife like?

 

[Kaive Cosmus]

Hey guys I've been sick... Sorry for the late response.

Hi I consider myself the polyamory specialist around here. What kind of relationship arrangement did you two agree on? Just an open marriage where you're allowed to have sex with others, but not fall in love? Or for you to potentially have other real relationships? Or something else? How did she describe her feelings about all this? What were those conversations with your wife like?

She want some loyal additional partners who are committed into the family. I'm on the lose end pretty open to everything. In the last year we had some experience with some guys to get her comfortable with me dating girls. I noticed that guy's are God damn little pussys with essayer hurt feelings than aye girl I ever met. These guys said they like to stay but after a few months they started acting jealous and disappeared within days. I was amused but the kids still ask for them...

That's why my wife wants to have a long friendship bevor ever getting closer to a guy. I assume when I bring the right guy home that concerns are gone with the wind but the guys she dragged home boy what a clown fiesta.

 

[Michael Chief]

Being open to everything is OK, but you still need some sort of standard or goal. Try to imagine what your ideal polycule or relationship arrangement looks like. Then go after that while still being OK if things take a different turn.

Jealousy is challenging to manage for most people because society trained us specifically to NOT manage it. People who want to practice any sort of ENM/CNM need to put in some effort and train themselves to deal with it maturely. Screen those guys and make sure they all at least read The Ethical Slut by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton. The best book I have found personally on the subject is Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients) by Martha Kauppi.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

I guess I'm going to be the square on the forum now huh? lol. Is nobody going to say this? You are risking your family for some poon... I would recommend you focus on your wife now that you have children. I don't see this ending well... for anyone involved.

2c

 

[Skjöldr]

In the last year we had some experience with some guys to get her comfortable with me dating girls.

Sounds like you're getting cucked hard man, ngl

 

[Kaive Cosmus]

I made a discovery and within this I got a big revelation

First i found my hack to simply skip AA.
But how?
So I visited the doctor the other day with my son and afterwards went to the grocery store. On the escalator upstairs I saw a beautiful girl with a bright orange hat, i love to wear hats myself. I Das worndering where to get such an amazing hat and started shouting for her, hey hey lady on the escalator with the orange hat and the arrogant posture, she turned pointed at her self and asked are you taking to me?

We chatted a little about the hat and this and that and that our children are off the same age. I suggested we should meet again with my wife and kids, she seemd happy about it and agreed. She gave me her contact, a fake Instagram profile...

At first I was like what a bitch! But after reasoning a little I came to the conclusion that It could've been something along the way that I have showed to much value and she rejected me in secret to avoid feeling bad because her partners left her with the kids twice.

Or she sensed that I really enjoyed her look and expected that I'll hit on her for sexual interst but hide it out of fear or something.

And then I remembered when I started my journey and made game every waking hour I flirtet the pants off of everything. The was a male cashier at my favorite cofe shop, I thought let's see how good is my game and deep dived him while ordering. In the end he asked me for my contact and gave me my order and a big ceaser salad for free.

Now my conclusion is, should I always flirt and aim to be seen as sexual option even though I want something very different?

The answer is yes you should.

 

[Kaive Cosmus]

I guess I'm going to be the square on the forum now huh? lol. Is nobody going to say this? You are risking your family for some poon... I would recommend you focus on your wife now that you have children. I don't see this ending well... for anyone involved.

2c

Actually we parted for a year and still lived and cared for the kids together. We had dates and all that. Nothing changed but we value each other higher and want to spend time together again.

When we first met she was in a poly relationship and I never wanted to commit my freedom to one girl. She accepted that she will always be a little jealous and on the hunt for me but that is somewhat the reason why she finds me so irresistible.

We lost each other in monogamy and found between the legs of others.I guess we are not the regular people

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

I'm not talking about the two of you. I'm talking about the kids. You may want to look into the data about how kids get messed up in the long run by not having a two-parent household and family. Sometimes divorce is inevitable (I just went through one last week), but when kids are involved there's a responsibility to their future above our sexual pleasure.

Anyway that's all I'll say about that one... maybe you've given this thought already, I'd just be remiss if I didn't at least point it out.

 

[Kaive Cosmus]

Sounds like you're getting cucked hard man, ngl

Ever heard of strategy? She stays at home with the kids and does all the chords and cooking and so on. I on the other hand talk to a million people every day in my work. I wanted to get the free pass to do and take home who ever I want.

So yes I was. I confronted her with the statement that I don't like the hot wife lifestyle and when she wants to slut around we should call it a day and go separate ways.

That was the end of her dating guys.

Beside I was approaching girl but failed miserably. That's the real reason why we had no female guests

I'm not talking about the two of you. I'm talking about the kids. You may want to look into the data about how kids get messed up in the long run by not having a two-parent household and family. Sometimes divorce is inevitable (I just went through one last week), but when kids are involved there's a responsibility to their future above our sexual pleasure.

Anyway that's all I'll say about that one... maybe you've given this thought already, I'd just be remiss if I didn't at least point it out.

Thanks for your thoughts I appreciate it.

I'll give it a serous consideration

 

[PaulieFlyn10]

What a thread

 

[POB]

My two cents (granted I didn't read everything, just skimmed through):
- you are lacking proper structure
- you are not leading enough

Yes, it's nice you both have a poly past, but with kids you know everything changes.
What I would do If I were you:
- take a day AND night of the week (or every 15 days) to be by yourself, away from the family, and do whatever you want, and be with whomever you want, also not sleeping home;
- do the same for her, let her take a day off to do what she wants and sleep away;
- apart from that day, both of you are 100% commited to the family...you don't even think about having outside fun;

Now you take some time (15-30 minutes) each day and focus on getting new pussy for that special day. I would go straight to online and only complement it with daygame, using a "go about my day" style. Why? Because online, although full of shorcomings, has a big advantage: you can do it anytime, anywhere.

About those girls:
- unkowns and as far away as possible from your social circle

 

[DarkKnight]

I guess I'm going to be the square on the forum now huh? lol. Is nobody going to say this? You are risking your family for some poon... I would recommend you focus on your wife now that you have children. I don't see this ending well... for anyone involved.

2c

nope exactly my thought as well. This will probably blow up but people do what they wanna do

 

[Kaive Cosmus]

My two cents (granted I didn't read everything, just skimmed through):
- you are lacking proper structure
- you are not leading enough

Yes, it's nice you both have a poly past, but with kids you know everything changes.
What I would do If I were you:
- take a day AND night of the week (or every 15 days) to be by yourself, away from the family, and do whatever you want, and be with whomever you want, also not sleeping home;
- do the same for her, let her take a day off to do what she wants and sleep away;
- apart from that day, both of you are 100% commited to the family...you don't even think about having outside fun;

Now you take some time (15-30 minutes) each day and focus on getting new pussy for that special day. I would go straight to online and only complement it with daygame, using a "go about my day" style. Why? Because online, although full of shorcomings, has a big advantage: you can do it anytime, anywhere.

About those girls:
- unkowns and as far away as possible from your social circle

This is a pretty neat idea the only down side is my wife was so disappointed by these people, girls too, that she really does not want to have a one on one date at all.

What do you mean with go about my day style?

I've already started online and Asian turist hit on me exclusive. It's kinda funny because 7 years ago I was just hanging around in Japanese part of town. Lots of success and just here and there a European girl from else where. I changed a lot and did not expect my old niche would still be viable.

 

[Kaive Cosmus]

nope exactly my thought as well. This will probably blow up but people do what they wanna do

It blew up already with monogamous.

Beside I'd rather live poly then go cheating on each other.

 

[Michael Chief]

It blew up already with monogamous.

Beside I'd rather live poly then go cheating on each other.

I think you meant to say "than" rather than "then." Changes the meaning of the sentence entirely lol

There are ways to make polyamory work even if you have children. I hope you both have done the research. The book The Polyamorists Next Door by Elisabeth Sheff discusses the science and real people's experiences with that.