When you are supposed to make eye contact with someone do you just look at them until they look back? I read in one of the articles you shouldn't look at them until they look at you first but I feel like that would be pretty hard to notice someone looking at you when not looking for it.
Sup rfjt,
In my experience, people find this very intimidating/aggresive. So I'd advise against this. The only time I'd say you're completely safe in doing this is if you know the girl and you know that not greeting her would be ridiculous or an obvious sign of you rejecting/ignoring her.
Its pretty hard to get a girl to stare at you first. Even if she is staring at you, if you try to make eye contact then she'll look away because she was just looking at you for her own reasons e.g you're wearing some pretty savvy clothes and she was secretly lusting over you, she's analyzing you for some reason. Etc.
I think that what the article meant was that she should make EYE CONTACT first rather than look at you first. So what you'd do is walk up to her, then say hi or tap her somewhere to get her attention. And when she turns to look at you she'll immediately make eye contact (it's how people can tell whether you really are talking to them or not) and that's when you look her in the eye to confirm that you are indeed talking to her and continue the eye contact for as long as you see fit.
rfjt said:
In my experience, people find this very intimidating/aggresive. So I'd advise against this. The only time I'd say you're completely safe in doing this is if you know the girl and you know that not greeting her would be ridiculous or an obvious sign of you rejecting/ignoring her.
Its pretty hard to get a girl to stare at you first. Even if she is staring at you, if you try to make eye contact then she'll look away because she was just looking at you for her own reasons e.g you're wearing some pretty savvy clothes and she was secretly lusting over you, she's analyzing you for some reason. Etc.
I think that what the article meant was that she should make EYE CONTACT first rather than look at you first. So what you'd do is walk up to her, then say hi or tap her somewhere to get her attention. And when she turns to look at you she'll immediately make eye contact (it's how people can tell whether you really are talking to them or not) and that's when you look her in the eye to confirm that you are indeed talking to her and continue the eye contact for as long as you see fit.
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rfjt said:
If they do catch you looking at them first, looking away quickly then directing your gaze back to them will fix the aggressive/intimidating vibe that Ash was talking about.
However, yes it is ideal that you get them to look at you first. Here's what I would do in all other situations besides opening: Look in their general direction, but don't look at them straight in the eye. They may think that you are looking at them and look at you (you will notice it in your peripherals) but they will realize that you're just looking in their direction. Now that they've looked at you, you can make eye contact safely.
Once your fundamentals get solid, girls will become increasingly conspicuous in their looks. It's hard not to notice! And if you're good at observing with your peripherals they will look at you for longer amounts of time with more frequency because they don't think you've noticed.
Thanks for the reply guys.
Have had some eye contact the past few days. After I look at them tho it's crazy how hard it is for me to hold it for more than a second without looking away. Chase was not kidding in the newbie assignment when he said it may be hard for some of us lol.
Have had some eye contact the past few days. After I look at them tho it's crazy how hard it is for me to hold it for more than a second without looking away. Chase was not kidding in the newbie assignment when he said it may be hard for some of us lol.