Fasted 43 hours in the woods. Journal entry during this time.

[Mr.Rob]

Here is a page from my journal I wrote in last night from my fast retreat.

In a recent disgust of the trapping comforts of society I decided to take them all away in an effort to sharpen my edge as a man.

In all I fasted for 43 hours and got minimal sleep throughout.

I wrote this during the peak of my suffering last night in order to cope better with the discomfort.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm hot, sweaty, and balmy to the point where I feel as if I am in a bath of hot spit and mucus. [note it's 80 degrees @ 81% humidity] I would LOVE a cold shower!

The bugs are relentless, however not terrible to the point of torment. I have put on a long sleeve jacket to prevent bugs from biting my arms and torso regions. I have wrapped and woven a towel around the exposed parts of my legs to prevent further bites as well. I would LOVE to be inside right now!

I purposely am fasting. It has been 35 hours since I have last eaten anything. I would be in more stomach pain but the bugs and humidity have taken my mind off my hunger... noetheless I would LOVE a hot meal! Some stewed beef tips with sweet potato and vegetables in a warm savory sauce.

I'm currently sitting on my bed which is a wooden park bench in a field before a forest. It's a slight upgrade from sleeping on a rock. I would LOVE to have a nice soft mattress to lay my weary body on.

It is currently 9:30 at night which means I only have 8-9 hours more until I can go home to eat and escape this suffering. I look forward to that.

However despite my forlorn state I realize this is nothing compared to what some of the great heroic and couragous men and women have endured.

HA! Pathetic the level of comfort we find ourselves in during our present day in age! Comfort... the dirty high omnipresent in our society, slowly dulling the blade of our masculinity, vitality, and purpose.

So hard to escape comfort and so fast can it lead to our detriment.

Eradicate comfort! It is overrated! Since writing this I have already gained a shift in state to more peace, contentment, and higher purpose. Almost as if I am getting a twisted pleasure from this suffering. A test of character I must pass with honor.

All and all it is freeing to know I am not confined and trapped by comfort. I have the discipline and will to endure discomfort and bad emotions as I know it is part of life. Not to be escaped but embraced as to deepen my experience in the world along with my character.

Ralph Waldo Emerson says "Refuse to conform".

Proverbs 24:30-34:
"I went past the field of the sluggard, past the vineyard of the man who lacks judgement;
thorns had come up everywhere,
the ground was covered with weeds,
and the stone wall was in ruins.
I applied my heart to what I observed
and learned a lesson from what I saw:
A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest-
and poverty will come on you like a bandit
and scarcity like an armed man."

I am now in peace.

-----------------------------------------------------------
Turned out about an hour after I wrote this I was laying on my bench bed and heard this harsh, loud, high pitched growl of most likely a Bob Cat coming from about 50 feet away. It sounded as if a woman was brutally attacked but I knew it was a cat that made the noise... not an ordinary house cat.

Not knowing what it was at the time and whether or not I was being hunted I decided to head back to my car where I slept.

After doing some research I have concluded it was most likely a Bob Cat. They typically hunt at night and give out loud high pitched screeches, however they do not typically attack humans...

I made a Vlog to document my thoughts/state of mind as I was going through the phases of the night. I just finished uploading them to YouTube.

If anyone is interested I will link the videos in a reply.

-Rob

 

[Rage]

I'm fucking interested! Lol

Sounds like quite an experience dude.

-Gem

 

[Mr.Rob]

Hey Gem I actually emailed you them already lol.

But for anyone else interested here is a link to the channel I put them on. I made 4 short videos, best watched in order.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChHRdQcuQfiDPyh-Guk5j9w/videos

 

[Rage]

Pretty cool Rob, that is quite an experience ! I enjoyed your quote from the bible too.

I've thought of doing something similar a trip where I can hunt and cook food, some time. I think that its neat and productive because of the being courageous and getting into the wild and the fighting personal limimtations and pushing boundaries and limits and all that... but think that it is also singifncat because of the benefits o fbeing in isolation for some time.

Top elite level atheltes and talents/artists alike have professed that being in isolation for stretches of time and just committing to what they do and little to nothing else (little human interaction or any other noise or bullshit from the outside world) has helped them tremendously and been conducive to their achievements.

Some of my favorite mooments and best ties ahve been when I am alone largely in isolation (written some of my best writing in full isolation; pulled some of my best lifts in a near empty gym ... wish I could have a full gym completely empty to myself some day tho that would be dope).

I rmemeber writing something a while back (writing it and realizing it) that people really have the potential to get more powerful when they are alone and get into isolation, because it kind of puts a mirror up to their face and shows them who they really are. Take away all the people all the media all the outside noise and sound and clutter... and just you remain in isolation and in solitude. If you love yourself, know yourself well and have been true to yourself and living to what you believe and feel within you to do (have been following your convictions), than you have been honest with yourself and will be able to enjoy and take solace in the isolation. I think most don't fit that bill, and feel stressed by all the things that they have obligated themselves too... you take all the obligations away take all the bull shit and the excuses away and what's left after that for them is just a person who didn't follow what they within them wanted to do.

I reckon that hurts on an existential level, and causes the people to want to go back to some movie or tv or communication with others like them and forget about that.

...

Tough to unplug, and do shit like this but it makes you stronger. I haven't been out in nature by myself in some time, but I think will try something sort of like this (an outing stipped of most stuff) in the near future. Inspired to try something sort of like this

Cheers Rob

-Gem

 

[Drck]

I'm inspired man, write more. Thumbs up

 

[Fuck This]

Well done Rob. Sometimes you have to become comfortable with being uncomfortable.

It really is more about being mentally tough. Our bodies can take much more than we give them credit for.

About the yowl... Better than average chance it could be a fox. This weekend I was calling for bears and I had one circle me and yowl back each time I called. I too thought it was a bobcat at first.

Video of a Fox yowling and another.

 

[Motiv]

Nice to finally meet you, Mr. Rob! I love what you are doing here. I consider my workouts along the same lines: finding the edge to recover my lost masculinity.

I'm twisted too because my best workouts are achieved out of self-loathing. Fuck all this, "be positive" shit—that's for women. That has never worked for me—only makes me slow and dull.

No, I hate my weakness, and when I indulge my passion of self-hatred, I finally push hard enough to grow stronger and come more alive than I have ever felt before.

-Mischief

 

[Motiv]

I might add that I am a convicted criminal now, and I have just finished serving the relatively light sentence of six work weekends. In a way it was brutal, but I am glad to have been tested and survived. For eight hours each Saturday and Sunday, I would sit on a caged school bus in 80-90° heat, taking care to mind the tension brewing from bigger, scarier men around me. I got pretty good at empathizing with a totally different crowd than I am used to. In a way, I am pretty proud to say I was one of the least bitchy of any of them (and the most physically fit, as well). Why they moaned and complained constantly, I sat silently and endured the pain from start to finish. I believe that experience has made me a tougher man.

-M

 

[Motiv]

Pretty cool Rob, that is quite an experience ! I enjoyed your quote from the bible too.

I've thought of doing something similar a trip where I can hunt and cook food, some time. I think that its neat and productive because of the being courageous and getting into the wild and the fighting personal limimtations and pushing boundaries and limits and all that... but think that it is also singifncat because of the benefits o fbeing in isolation for some time.

Top elite level atheltes and talents/artists alike have professed that being in isolation for stretches of time and just committing to what they do and little to nothing else (little human interaction or any other noise or bullshit from the outside world) has helped them tremendously and been conducive to their achievements.

Some of my favorite mooments and best ties ahve been when I am alone largely in isolation (written some of my best writing in full isolation; pulled some of my best lifts in a near empty gym ... wish I could have a full gym completely empty to myself some day tho that would be dope).

I rmemeber writing something a while back (writing it and realizing it) that people really have the potential to get more powerful when they are alone and get into isolation, because it kind of puts a mirror up to their face and shows them who they really are. Take away all the people all the media all the outside noise and sound and clutter... and just you remain in isolation and in solitude. If you love yourself, know yourself well and have been true to yourself and living to what you believe and feel within you to do (have been following your convictions), than you have been honest with yourself and will be able to enjoy and take solace in the isolation. I think most don't fit that bill, and feel stressed by all the things that they have obligated themselves too... you take all the obligations away take all the bull shit and the excuses away and what's left after that for them is just a person who didn't follow what they within them wanted to do.

I reckon that hurts on an existential level, and causes the people to want to go back to some movie or tv or communication with others like them and forget about that.

...

Tough to unplug, and do shit like this but it makes you stronger. I haven't been out in nature by myself in some time, but I think will try something sort of like this (an outing stipped of most stuff) in the near future. Inspired to try something sort of like this

Cheers Rob

-Gem

Amen—100%.

 

[Motiv]

Gem, I meant to emphasize in my last post about how important it is for me to work out alone, too. If so much as one person sets foot in the tiny common gym in my building (which I only use for HIIT on the treadmill), I feel as though I can no longer push myself to the edge of my limits. I need to be able to let out disturbing screams (and emotions) when I am at the edge, and I just cannot reach that peak when people are around.

 

[Motiv]

After having read over my posting in this section, I realize it probably has the potential to freak people out. Many of you also probably think that I am sick or just plain juvenile, and on some level, all of that is fine with me as it is all true.

I just wanted to add that I do not immerse myself in this intense, dark mindset 24/7… I doubt any human could endure that. What I have discovered lately is that I now seem capable of exuding a much greater level of positive energy in social situations than ever before. In other words, the emotional range of my personality is much more dynamic these days—because I have magnified my yin (in solitude), my yang has equivalently grown in proportion.

Consider my posts the musings of a man who grew up largely in isolation and who is only now discovering "the world" and himself, yet in a way that most seem either to take for granted or refuse to consider altogether. It never ceases to amaze me just how many people base their entire lives upon unquestioned assumptions. Some of us ask more questions than others, and then we are cast out. We may rejoin groups from time to time as that seems necessary to make a living, but then we must master the art of illusion. Hence, Loki…

P.S. Here is a scene from a movie I saw way back when I was an elementary school kid. Back then, I couldn't appreciate the meaning of the dialogue the way I do today—it's about the value of pain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLzJAebfEIg

-M

 

[Rage]

Hey Mischief

Read this kind of late; but yeah I agree about the training out loud a bit. It’s good to let your emotions out and be aggressive and stuff.

If I feel it in me I’ll be louder, but I try not to force that either just as I don’t try to force the quiet like so many people do. If I feel louder a particular day, then I will be. If I don’t I wont be and will be very focused and intense.

And I enjoy a relatively empty gym, but find that knowing others being polite and friendly when do see them briefly or talk to them briefly helps, because it won’t scare them/gives you leeway should you decide to be loud as fuck when you train.

You can get done finishing a loud aggressive set and a stranger might look at you and think what the fuck is wrong with this guy, but if its someone you know, you can get done and flash a quick grin at x person you know at the gym and they're not worried or scared of you then either.

You’re not “crazy” or “out of control” then: instead you’re seen as “focused” and “dedicated” and “have good intensity” then. Lol

After having read over my posting in this section, I realize it probably has the potential to freak people out. Many of you also probably think that I am sick or just plain juvenile, and on some level, all of that is fine with me as it is all true.

I just wanted to add that I do not immerse myself in this intense, dark mindset 24/7… I doubt any human could endure that. What I have discovered lately is that I now seem capable of exuding a much greater level of positive energy in social situations than ever before. In other words, the emotional range of my personality is much more dynamic these days—because I have magnified my yin (in solitude), my yang has equivalently grown in proportion.

Consider my posts the musings of a man who grew up largely in isolation and who is only now discovering "the world" and himself, yet in a way that most seem either to take for granted or refuse to consider altogether. It never ceases to amaze me just how many people base their entire lives upon unquestioned assumptions. Some of us ask more questions than others, and then we are cast out. We may rejoin groups from time to time as that seems necessary to make a living, but then we must master the art of illusion. Hence, Loki…

P.S. Here is a scene from a movie I saw way back when I was an elementary school kid. Back then, I couldn't appreciate the meaning of the dialogue the way I do today—it's about the value of pain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLzJAebfEIg

-M

You’re all right man; we all have our own demons within us that drive us and make us do what we do and have made us who we are huh?

The high degree of growth that most of the guys are working on achieving on the boards (or have achieved and are working to even further), I believe necessarily comes from a lot of hardship struggle and resistance early on and throughout their lives.

There’s no necessity for growth without resistance.

All the problems, hardships, struggles, challenges fucking sucked and some shit were hell, but made us who we are. I certainly feel that way about hardships I’ve faced in my life and I’d reckon most of the guys on the boards feel the same way.

It’s what pushes us to grow to progress to endure and then succeed and thrive and then set out to do it all over again the next day. Makes us who we are and gives our lives purpose and meaning and a reassuring kind of warmth in all the darkness.

Wouldn’t trade that for any other life.