Fear of being judged?

[Vash]

Nowadays, it seems like I'm constantly worried about looking unattractive to women, to the point where it's a fear, a fear I worry about like every morning I wake up. I'll approach a girl and remain relaxed on the outside, but on the inside, a million questions are racing through my head and make me feel uncomfortable. I'm not dressed well enough, does she look down on me? Does she think I'm ugly? Will she not be attracted to me because I'm not buff? Does she think I'm boring? etc. So now I've stopped approaching lately because of these inner insecurities that I still feel no matter how much I fake it on the outside. I always feel I'll be rejected before I even introduce myself, mostly because of past experiences and most of my childhood.

So how do you guys get over the fear of being judged? People always say "Well, I don't give a fuck.", but we ALL obviously give a fuck since we're here learning how to get better with women.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Vash,

So how do you guys get over the fear of being judged? People always say "Well, I don't give a fuck.", but we ALL obviously give a fuck since we're here learning how to get better with women.

I feel you man. but then again, You can only do so much.

Zac

 

[Estate]

Firstly, I know how you feel man.
I always had some hangups about myself and I know they make you self conscious.

So, I usually don't advise acting or talking negatively towards others but for the sake of this, what helped me was reference points:

- Everyone has hangups about themselves and we tend to blow them up. So you have them, the next guy has them and (If you have sisters or have ever lived with girls) girls most definitely have them, lots of them. Realize that the girl you are talking to is self conscious too. We tend to focus on the negative about ourselves while others are actually trying to find the things they like in someone.

- Give yourself some credit for what you DO have. For me: I wish I had really cool hair but it's too fine to grow out much. But on the positive, I'm over 6ft. which is something a lot of guys would want and never encountered a problem with "tall girls". Look at what you have that other guys would kill for, not the negative. It helps.

- Try not to focus too much how hot she is, hard I know, but as I said, we're all only human, we all have flaws, she's probably hoping you don't notice her pimple for something
- Look at the other guys around you... are they all 10's? Are they all dressed sharp? Are they all approaching? Do they have tight game? The answers are usually no, you already have an upper hand. But THEY are out there, THEY still get girls. Why wouldn't you too?

- Look at the girl who's with the guy that makes you think "She's with THAT guy"... how did he get her? He's probably just a cool guy with tight game. You can be even better!

- The Cheerleader effect (credit: Barney Stinson)... that group of girls is HOT! Now look at them individually or compared to other girls around... are they still as hot? (it's funny but it can be kinda true.)


It's something I continually have to help myself with too, but I hope some of these things help.
It's just one of those things where exposure will make you more comfortable. As you meet better and better girls you'll realize that the things you were hung up on didn't even matter or weren't noticed by her so why can't you keep meeting more girls like her or even better.

Hope this was some help. All the best!

 

[Light]

So how do you guys get over the fear of being judged? People always say "Well, I don't give a fuck.", but we ALL obviously give a fuck since we're here learning how to get better with women.

By working on your own personal values, and improving on yourself, in order to turn yourself into such an Awesome person, that you know it will be her lost if she rejects you.

Your insecurity is a mental problem, because you don't think you're good enough.
Turn that around, and once you realise that you are more than good enough.. in fact, you're freaking awesome! That insecurity will vanish.

You say that we ALL obviously give a fuck?
I'll tell you now that youre wrong. No. I personally really don't give a fuck.
I've made many trials and errors myself, pushing my boundaries, having girls slap me on the face, and I just laugh it off. I move on.
It all comes down to your inner game, and no one else can help you except yourself.