Fear of Tension leads to lying, freezing and capitulation. How to handle?

[SunnyVibes]

Hello!

Moral/social/sexual tension makes me back down, capitulate or freeze. Rarely lie which I hate.

Ex:
Setting: Buffalo wings, I am seated at the bar.
Waitress walk behind me. I call to her.
She turns.
I ask her a question and she responds.
I’m thinking of her response(so I my eyes up and to the side) and I say thank you simultaneously.
She asks me directly: Why’d you roll your eyes at me.( Accusations are scary)
I feel my heart shrivel.
I respond weakly with I said Thank You.
She walks away.

Similar things happen in social settings. When my opinion is shot down by an angry person I offended,etc.

Women scare me too. I’m scared of most of them.

How do I manage my anxiety/fear/freezing in these situation?

 

[ShioriGC]

I used to feel like this, what helped me was for me to believe i was their superior. Even if it wasn't true, it helped me act naturally.

 

[ulrich]

Be more vulnerable.

The reason why you recapitulate is because deep down you know whatever you are thinking is gonna come out harsh and make you a dislikable person.
Whenever people ask me what I am thinking, I tell them… sure, I quickly filter HOW I tell them so it comes up as a polite remark, a concern or even a dumb observation.
It is a little skill on its own.

But anyway, the point is I don’t fear sharing what is on my mind.. I even risk looking dumb if needed in order to come up as sincere.
And that shit disarms people.