- Joined
- Jun 28, 2021
- Messages
- 348
This is not a question, I would like to share my thoughts on this very important topic.
CONNECTION
Women talk a lot about, strive for it and it's also an important topic in the seduction community. At the same time, it's also somehow vague and difficult topic to understand at first. This was definitely the case for me but probably also for other people so I'v decided to share it with you. Hopefully it can help someone.
WHAT IS THE FEELING OF CONNECTEDNESS?
Feeling of connectedness is the opposite of the feeling of being alone in the world.
Humans are highly social animals and our well being and prospering depends highly on having relationships with other people. Life advice, career opportunities, sense of security highly depends on relationship with other people. Access to education, technology and all fruits of civilization is the benefit of established connections between millions of people of the past and present generations. I hope it's pretty obvious to see how massive of an effect this connections have on the quality of our life. Just imagine how your life would be if you had to develop all of mathematical and physics understanding, build all the factories and technology yourself, organize mining, agriculture, and supply operations on yourself. Our life would be nothing, nothing to what it is without the connections between people around the world.
Now, think about your seduction journey without the connections to people in this forum. You would be nowhere near where you are in your growth as a seducer if it wasn't for the connections to people on this forum.
But this is just the intellectual and pragmatic perspective.
Connectedness is first and foremost our human need, and it's highly embedded in our physical and emotional blueprint. Lone people have been struggling badly evolutionary speaking, and that's why we feel bad when we feel alone, and feel great when we feel connected. Our own "positive" and "negative" emotions are supposed to condition us to take action towards greater connection and avoid being alone.
This feeling of connectedness/fear of being alone is very likely STRONGER in females than males, which is why women talk and value it so much. I mean, it makes total sense, women being physically weaker, as well as having less independence and less ability to succeed individually, have to rely on the social connections even more than men. So they value and strive for it more than men.
Ok, theory aside, what are the practical considerations for us, as lovers of women?
I think having a good understanding of what connectedness is and how it feels can automatically fix a lot of problems which we face when meeting new or known women.
Here are some of these problems:
- frame battles around type of relationship she is looking for and you are looking for (boyfriends vs lover relationship)
- faulty interpretations of her actions as rejections of you
- auto-rejection on her side
- giving up early and not following up
- resistance to sex due to her being afraid of being pumped and dumped
Here is how I think about feeling of connectedness with women.
Think about connection as SOMETHING WHICH ONCE ESTABLISHED, IS GOING TO BE THERE FOREVER
Once you stopped being strangers and started getting to know each others as individuals, you established this connection and IT LITERALLY CAN'T BE BROKEN. Why? Because once you stood face to face, you talked, you exchanged names + any other things you did with her - BECAUSE IT HAPPENED AND IT CAN'T BE REVERSED OR DENIED THAT IT HAPPENED. She can't say that she doesn't know you to you and her friends, but you both know that's a lie.
You are not total strangers anymore. Even if she decides that she decides that she doesn't want to spend any more time with you that day, or that she she doesn't want to go to a next day, it doesn't matter because the connection will last forever, and you can simply restart connecting even more at any time in the future. There is zero rush.
The actual feeling of connectedness strongly depends on how you see and interpret the connections to her and to other people IN YOUR MIND.
If you consider established connection (even the most minimal) with her as well as with other people as something ETERNAL and UNBREAKABLE, it's gonna be like that.
Think about some old friends from school or college times which you had a connection back in the days but who you haven't seen or hanged out for years after that. Is there a connection between you, or is there not? In my mind, it totally is. Even if it's a different connection than it used to be, you can't deny that you know each other, had some common experiences, and you are not strangers to each other.
That's how you should think about connections with women. Once established, it becomes unbreakable and undeniable forever.
Look, if you saw your old friends on the streets struggling badly, either materially or otherwise, you are going to have a different attitute towards them, comparing to seeing total strangers in the same situation. You will have a different attiutude due to the connection which is permanently there even though it's not cultivated as such, in present.
The same works for you. If you imagine yourself being at the bottom of the bottoms of life, you can still derive some sense of hope or security by thinking about all people you've got to know in your life. You are never going to be hopeless because you have this vague support network. Most or some of them are doing fairly well in life, so it's a high chance that if you were to find yourself in a dare situation, they would have both resources and willingness to help you out due to the connection which had been established at some point in the past. You can feel safer in the world. And that's women's first and foremost consideration.
And that's how we should view any interaction with women - the connection we are developing is going to permanent. We don't want to ever break it even if we will decide to not spend much time with her at the present moment. Having this mindset internally is going to eliminate a lot of problems:
- she doesn't have to protect herself from the risk of total disconnection (pump and dump) (which she will feel if you totally disconnect from her after you fucked her)
- she doesn't have to think about strongly setting the relationship frame (because once you are connected, it may or may not develop into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship or not, regardless of, the connection will always be there)
- she doesn't have to think about constantly displaying her value, trying to qualify to you, which will lead to auto-rejection if you don't qualify her into the extend she is looking for
And this works equally well for you:
- you don't have to worry if she accepts an invitation from you or not, because you have an eternal connection, so you can meet her at any time in the future (outcome independence)
- you don't have to stress out about whether you are perceived as a high value, or as a lover, because you can rely on being connected, and the sexual part can come at any time, when the time is right (relaxed attitute, outcome independence)
- you have a feeling of social abundance (the opposite of the feeling of being alone), because you know that you have so many eternal connections to so many people and so many women. If you feel this abundance strongly, and subcommunicate this to her by how you go about the relationship with her, this is a massive, massive SOCIAL PROOF and PRESELECTION
When I was thinking about this topic, Alabaster Girl from Zan Perrion came to my mind. I don't recall it perfectly, but I'm pretty sure he wrote about the connection in a similar fashion to what I just wrote here. So if you are interested, and want a confirmation from a higher authority than me, check the book out.
Peace
CONNECTION
Women talk a lot about, strive for it and it's also an important topic in the seduction community. At the same time, it's also somehow vague and difficult topic to understand at first. This was definitely the case for me but probably also for other people so I'v decided to share it with you. Hopefully it can help someone.
WHAT IS THE FEELING OF CONNECTEDNESS?
Feeling of connectedness is the opposite of the feeling of being alone in the world.
Humans are highly social animals and our well being and prospering depends highly on having relationships with other people. Life advice, career opportunities, sense of security highly depends on relationship with other people. Access to education, technology and all fruits of civilization is the benefit of established connections between millions of people of the past and present generations. I hope it's pretty obvious to see how massive of an effect this connections have on the quality of our life. Just imagine how your life would be if you had to develop all of mathematical and physics understanding, build all the factories and technology yourself, organize mining, agriculture, and supply operations on yourself. Our life would be nothing, nothing to what it is without the connections between people around the world.
Now, think about your seduction journey without the connections to people in this forum. You would be nowhere near where you are in your growth as a seducer if it wasn't for the connections to people on this forum.
But this is just the intellectual and pragmatic perspective.
Connectedness is first and foremost our human need, and it's highly embedded in our physical and emotional blueprint. Lone people have been struggling badly evolutionary speaking, and that's why we feel bad when we feel alone, and feel great when we feel connected. Our own "positive" and "negative" emotions are supposed to condition us to take action towards greater connection and avoid being alone.
This feeling of connectedness/fear of being alone is very likely STRONGER in females than males, which is why women talk and value it so much. I mean, it makes total sense, women being physically weaker, as well as having less independence and less ability to succeed individually, have to rely on the social connections even more than men. So they value and strive for it more than men.
Ok, theory aside, what are the practical considerations for us, as lovers of women?
I think having a good understanding of what connectedness is and how it feels can automatically fix a lot of problems which we face when meeting new or known women.
Here are some of these problems:
- frame battles around type of relationship she is looking for and you are looking for (boyfriends vs lover relationship)
- faulty interpretations of her actions as rejections of you
- auto-rejection on her side
- giving up early and not following up
- resistance to sex due to her being afraid of being pumped and dumped
Here is how I think about feeling of connectedness with women.
Think about connection as SOMETHING WHICH ONCE ESTABLISHED, IS GOING TO BE THERE FOREVER
Once you stopped being strangers and started getting to know each others as individuals, you established this connection and IT LITERALLY CAN'T BE BROKEN. Why? Because once you stood face to face, you talked, you exchanged names + any other things you did with her - BECAUSE IT HAPPENED AND IT CAN'T BE REVERSED OR DENIED THAT IT HAPPENED. She can't say that she doesn't know you to you and her friends, but you both know that's a lie.
You are not total strangers anymore. Even if she decides that she decides that she doesn't want to spend any more time with you that day, or that she she doesn't want to go to a next day, it doesn't matter because the connection will last forever, and you can simply restart connecting even more at any time in the future. There is zero rush.
The actual feeling of connectedness strongly depends on how you see and interpret the connections to her and to other people IN YOUR MIND.
If you consider established connection (even the most minimal) with her as well as with other people as something ETERNAL and UNBREAKABLE, it's gonna be like that.
Think about some old friends from school or college times which you had a connection back in the days but who you haven't seen or hanged out for years after that. Is there a connection between you, or is there not? In my mind, it totally is. Even if it's a different connection than it used to be, you can't deny that you know each other, had some common experiences, and you are not strangers to each other.
That's how you should think about connections with women. Once established, it becomes unbreakable and undeniable forever.
Look, if you saw your old friends on the streets struggling badly, either materially or otherwise, you are going to have a different attitute towards them, comparing to seeing total strangers in the same situation. You will have a different attiutude due to the connection which is permanently there even though it's not cultivated as such, in present.
The same works for you. If you imagine yourself being at the bottom of the bottoms of life, you can still derive some sense of hope or security by thinking about all people you've got to know in your life. You are never going to be hopeless because you have this vague support network. Most or some of them are doing fairly well in life, so it's a high chance that if you were to find yourself in a dare situation, they would have both resources and willingness to help you out due to the connection which had been established at some point in the past. You can feel safer in the world. And that's women's first and foremost consideration.
And that's how we should view any interaction with women - the connection we are developing is going to permanent. We don't want to ever break it even if we will decide to not spend much time with her at the present moment. Having this mindset internally is going to eliminate a lot of problems:
- she doesn't have to protect herself from the risk of total disconnection (pump and dump) (which she will feel if you totally disconnect from her after you fucked her)
- she doesn't have to think about strongly setting the relationship frame (because once you are connected, it may or may not develop into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship or not, regardless of, the connection will always be there)
- she doesn't have to think about constantly displaying her value, trying to qualify to you, which will lead to auto-rejection if you don't qualify her into the extend she is looking for
And this works equally well for you:
- you don't have to worry if she accepts an invitation from you or not, because you have an eternal connection, so you can meet her at any time in the future (outcome independence)
- you don't have to stress out about whether you are perceived as a high value, or as a lover, because you can rely on being connected, and the sexual part can come at any time, when the time is right (relaxed attitute, outcome independence)
- you have a feeling of social abundance (the opposite of the feeling of being alone), because you know that you have so many eternal connections to so many people and so many women. If you feel this abundance strongly, and subcommunicate this to her by how you go about the relationship with her, this is a massive, massive SOCIAL PROOF and PRESELECTION
When I was thinking about this topic, Alabaster Girl from Zan Perrion came to my mind. I don't recall it perfectly, but I'm pretty sure he wrote about the connection in a similar fashion to what I just wrote here. So if you are interested, and want a confirmation from a higher authority than me, check the book out.
Peace
