Feeling stuck

[FZPROf]

Hey guys. I’ve had about 150+ day game approaches so far, while having 4 dates. 1 really bad date where it was obvious the girl didn’t like me at all (and said she came simply cause her cousin pushed her to).

2 meh dates and 1 decent one, which I think was simply because she was just really horny or just really physically attracted to me, but our conversation was very comfortable to be fair, but I still didn’t make the move to pull.

My problem is, I feel like I might still not have the base to do cold approach and not just go off 90% luck. My first 100 approaches had a lot of self ejection and half assing, but then I started to also have somewhat comfortable (yet kinda boring) conversations with girls I’ve opened. That’s when those 3 dates were possible for me.

After reading this article from Chase ,
https://www.girlschase.com/article/you-cant-beat-fear-rejection-more-rejections#comment-95688

I think I might just not have enough safe zones to do cold approach at the moment. The best I can do is have some small talk, and I don’t think I’ve ever went into having “substantiative conversation”, at least on the approach. A successful chit chat with the girl does give me a small mood boost, but that’s about it. Best I have in terms of making jokes, is looking back in the conversation on where I could’ve made them.

Outside of cold approach, I only ever make small talk with some strangers (which I’m alright with), and I’m still stuck with the same few friends I’ve had for years. Do you guys think I should stop cold approach for now and just focus on getting a social circle so I can start getting comfortable joking, telling stories, and having better conversations with girls?

 

[Stark]

Hey guys. I’ve had about 150+ day game approaches so far, while having 4 dates.

If that's your first 150 approaches ever, getting 4 dates is NOT a bad outcome.

You're probably comparing yourself with a seasoned player, who might be able to get way better results from those 150 shots.

Having that said, doing more approaches is not necessarily the solution, I'll explain below

I think I might just not have enough safe zones to do cold approach at the moment. The best I can do is have some small talk, and I don’t think I’ve ever went into having “substantiative conversation”, at least on the approach.

This is where I see a concern. You don't seem to have a solid plan for a 2 to 5-minute conversation with an interested girl.

I was like you a decade ago, while starting my cold approach journey. It wasn't until thousands of approaches that I learned my lesson.

Back then, I used to go with a neo-direct 'You look cute I wanted to say Hi' and hope for the best.

I had subscribed to the red-pill dating narrative at the time - 'Be a cool guy overall, have a normal conversation. Don't use any fancy routines or structured material. You'll look robotic. Be natural'

That mentality SLOWED DOWN my progress big time.

----

Chase's daygame guide helped me big time with the ability to make a decent 2 to 5 minute conversation from a cold approach with ease

From the guide, follow this conversation structure and you WILL improve your approach-to-hook ratio and approach-to-date ratio significantly.

This is literally a cheat-code to cold approach success even if your current social skills are lacking.

"

• Make assumptions: look for what stands out about her to you and call it out. Don’t be afraid to make assumptions. The worst that can happen is she corrects you.
• Flirt, tease, and banter: you do not need to be The World’s Greatest Comedian. However, it is vital to get a little flirtation going within the first 30 seconds. This is how you signal to girls that this is a romantic flirtation and not a platonic interaction.
• Screen and qualify: ask her questions about herself on topics you want to know. Does she cook? Is she adventurous? What’s she do for fun? Qualify her (i.e., show her your approval) if it turns out that she is what you’re looking for.
• Get compliance: even if just a little bit. But it’s imperative you have women do a little something for you right from the get-go – and not just be doing things for them.

"

Absorb the material in this guide and apply it for a month, taking action daily.

Also constantly evaluate the energy you project while approaching women - ideally, it has to be a fun, playful vibe.

If that's lacking you won't get most women to stop and pay attention to you in the first place.

Outside of cold approach, I only ever make small talk with some strangers (which I’m alright with), and I’m still stuck with the same few friends I’ve had for years.

Regardless of their cold approach goals, one must constantly improve social skills.

Expand your circle, hang out with varied social groups, and hone your social skills.

It's a KEY skill to succeed & be happy long-term.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Hey guys. I’ve had about 150+ day game approaches so far, while having 4 dates. 1 really bad date where it was obvious the girl didn’t like me at all (and said she came simply cause her cousin pushed her to).

2 meh dates and 1 decent one, which I think was simply because she was just really horny or just really physically attracted to me, but our conversation was very comfortable to be fair, but I still didn’t make the move to pull.

My problem is, I feel like I might still not have the base to do cold approach and not just go off 90% luck. My first 100 approaches had a lot of self ejection and half assing, but then I started to also have somewhat comfortable (yet kinda boring) conversations with girls I’ve opened. That’s when those 3 dates were possible for me.

After reading this article from Chase ,
https://www.girlschase.com/article/you-cant-beat-fear-rejection-more-rejections#comment-95688

I think I might just not have enough safe zones to do cold approach at the moment. The best I can do is have some small talk, and I don’t think I’ve ever went into having “substantiative conversation”, at least on the approach. A successful chit chat with the girl does give me a small mood boost, but that’s about it. Best I have in terms of making jokes, is looking back in the conversation on where I could’ve made them.

Outside of cold approach, I only ever make small talk with some strangers (which I’m alright with), and I’m still stuck with the same few friends I’ve had for years. Do you guys think I should stop cold approach for now and just focus on getting a social circle so I can start getting comfortable joking, telling stories, and having better conversations with girls?

Everything @Stark said. And NO! You definitely should not stop doing cold approaches. 4 dates in 150 is great for a beginner.

Cold approach is where you really level up. Doing cold approaches with a structure and game plan is in my opinion a 100 times better than social circle.

Especially when you are new, social circle is just a cop out to protect yourself from the anxiety, rejections and a hundred other negative thoughts and emotions that cold approach brings up. You can never meet as many new girls in social circle as you can in cold approach.

You can never experiment and fuck up and make mistakes and learn from them in social circle as much as you can from cold approach. Don't only do cold approach and actively stop yourself from socializing but if its a choice between one or the other, always do the harder one which is always COLD APPROACH!

And again 4 dates from 150 approaches especially in daygame where there is so much randomness and you are not approaching girls who have given you any sort of signal, is GOOD!

Just think! On many days if you do 10 approaches you might only meet 2 girls who are single and available. So when you do 150 it might be that you have only met 30 single girls. So its actually 4 dates out of 30. The 150 approaches thing is very misleading. It makes you think you are really bad. The reality is, you did not meet 150 single and available girls!

This is the thing a lot of people miss in cold approach.

 

[FZPROf]

Everything @Stark said. And NO! You definitely should not stop doing cold approaches. 4 dates in 150 is great for a beginner.

Cold approach is where you really level up. Doing cold approaches with a structure and game plan is in my opinion a 100 times better than social circle.

Especially when you are new, social circle is just a cop out to protect yourself from the anxiety, rejections and a hundred other negative thoughts and emotions that cold approach brings up. You can never meet as many new girls in social circle as you can in cold approach.

You can never experiment and fuck up and make mistakes and learn from them in social circle as much as you can from cold approach. Don't only do cold approach and actively stop yourself from socializing but if its a choice between one or the other, always do the harder one which is always COLD APPROACH!

And again 4 dates from 150 approaches especially in daygame where there is so much randomness and you are not approaching girls who have given you any sort of signal, is GOOD!

Just think! On many days if you do 10 approaches you might only meet 2 girls who are single and available. So when you do 150 it might be that you have only met 30 single girls. So its actually 4 dates out of 30. The 150 approaches thing is very misleading. It makes you think you are really bad. The reality is, you did not meet 150 single and available girls!

This is the thing a lot of people miss in cold approach.

Thanks bro. I just came back from the best day game day of my life today!

I approached almost 10 girls (which I’ve only done once before), give or take, and had conversations with 5 of them. All of the conversations lasted 2-5 minutes, and I got 5 numbers. But the last girl was the absolute best. She was drop dead gorgeous, like almost a ten, and when I opened her, she had the most happy reaction on her face before I even said a word.

She couldn’t speak much English well (Asian girl), but she called me handsome after I called her beautiful and was rushing to use the translation app. I’ve never had a girl act this interested in me in all my approaches. She told me to immediately text her so she could get my number, and it didn’t go through, so she realised she accidentally made an error in giving number part. Never had a girl try so hard to make sure I got her number.

she texted me back right away and said I was too cute, and was asking me where I was going and trying to make a bit more conversation. I literally can’t believe it. I might’ve just been overthinking, thinking that I’m just not funny with girls, and that my interactions were sub par, but nearly all the girls gave me good reaction when I was talking with them. Even before that last girl, I’d say it was one of my best days generally.

 

[FZPROf]

If that's your first 150 approaches ever, getting 4 dates is NOT a bad outcome.

You're probably comparing yourself with a seasoned player, who might be able to get way better results from those 150 shots.

Having that said, doing more approaches is not necessarily the solution, I'll explain below



This is where I see a concern. You don't seem to have a solid plan for a 2 to 5-minute conversation with an interested girl.

I was like you a decade ago, while starting my cold approach journey. It wasn't until thousands of approaches that I learned my lesson.

Back then, I used to go with a neo-direct 'You look cute I wanted to say Hi' and hope for the best.

I had subscribed to the red-pill dating narrative at the time - 'Be a cool guy overall, have a normal conversation. Don't use any fancy routines or structured material. You'll look robotic. Be natural'

That mentality SLOWED DOWN my progress big time.

----

Chase's daygame guide helped me big time with the ability to make a decent 2 to 5 minute conversation from a cold approach with ease

From the guide, follow this conversation structure and you WILL improve your approach-to-hook ratio and approach-to-date ratio significantly.

This is literally a cheat-code to cold approach success even if your current social skills are lacking.

"

• Make assumptions: look for what stands out about her to you and call it out. Don’t be afraid to make assumptions. The worst that can happen is she corrects you.
• Flirt, tease, and banter: you do not need to be The World’s Greatest Comedian. However, it is vital to get a little flirtation going within the first 30 seconds. This is how you signal to girls that this is a romantic flirtation and not a platonic interaction.
• Screen and qualify: ask her questions about herself on topics you want to know. Does she cook? Is she adventurous? What’s she do for fun? Qualify her (i.e., show her your approval) if it turns out that she is what you’re looking for.
• Get compliance: even if just a little bit. But it’s imperative you have women do a little something for you right from the get-go – and not just be doing things for them.

"

Absorb the material in this guide and apply it for a month, taking action daily.

Also constantly evaluate the energy you project while approaching women - ideally, it has to be a fun, playful vibe.

If that's lacking you won't get most women to stop and pay attention to you in the first place.


Regardless of their cold approach goals, one must constantly improve social skills.

Expand your circle, hang out with varied social groups, and hone your social skills.

It's a KEY skill to succeed & be happy long-term.

Thanks bro, I’ll definitely check these out!

I can get a 2-5 minute conversation nowadays quite easily, but I definitely realise I don’t flirt, screen (maybe I do a little bit? Because I do try get to know the girls a bit) , and ask for compliance. I had an opportunity I realised to ask a girl to walk with me to where she was originally going to today, but I didn’t know how to do it smoothly.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Thanks bro. I just came back from the best day game day of my life today!

I approached almost 10 girls (which I’ve only done once before), give or take, and had conversations with 5 of them. All of the conversations lasted 2-5 minutes, and I got 5 numbers. But the last girl was the absolute best. She was drop dead gorgeous, like almost a ten, and when I opened her, she had the most happy reaction on her face before I even said a word.

She couldn’t speak much English well (Asian girl), but she called me handsome after I called her beautiful and was rushing to use the translation app. I’ve never had a girl act this interested in me in all my approaches. She told me to immediately text her so she could get my number, and it didn’t go through, so she realised she accidentally made an error in giving number part. Never had a girl try so hard to make sure I got her number.

she texted me back right away and said I was too cute, and was asking me where I was going and trying to make a bit more conversation. I literally can’t believe it. I might’ve just been overthinking, thinking that I’m just not funny with girls, and that my interactions were sub par, but nearly all the girls gave me good reaction when I was talking with them. Even before that last girl, I’d say it was one of my best days generally.

Great stuff. Keep going. Don't read much into individual interactions, reactions, responses etc. Like this girl from today may flake or suddenly not reply or ghost you. But that does not mean that you did something wrong. There are many many things outside our control in cold approach. But over large sample sizes meaningful patterns emerge. According to me the best thing you can do is to keep going and get to 300 approaches. Then you sit down and look at your resuts and see what is happening.

Don't question everything after every session. Just keep going. The journey will transform you into someone completely different.

 

[gameboy]

she texted me back right away and said I was too cute, and was asking me where I was going and trying to make a bit more conversation.

Awesome man! If I were you I'd ask her out asap