Finally learning game for real

[Space321]

So, hello!

I've been reading Girls Chase since a teen - in fact I'd hazard a guess that especially when it comes to old school articles,
there are very few people who've read quite as much GC content as me. BUT.

The age old problem has been a mighty problem for me - I could almost never get myself to approach.
Managed to do a few cold approaches in College after a breakup with my girlfriend, and that was all the approaching I had
done until recently.

I'm at a little bit of a turning point right now - in the past week, including night game I've made about 8 approaches.
Since breaking up with my girlfriend, and restarting this journey, I've made nine. My very first (since starting this whole thing properly) resulted in a lay.

Which I think was simultaneously very lucky and very fortuitous - Chase sometimes talks about how early success in a new endeavour
can be the deciding point in whether it sticks - so, lucky start there!

All the approaches I've made thus far have been either sitting or stationary, which while useful, is a major
roadblock to volume. About half of the approaches have been to girls I'd consider 9/10 and have been very bold,
and the other half have been either with girls sitting right next to me, or in an otherwise easy to approach situation.
Locations so far: Coffee shop, bar, Park-like place, bench

In the past two days, I've achieved a major breakthrough for myself - approaching more than one girl in a day!
I know that probably sounds like small beans to everyone here, but I've not done that before - ever.

So - I'm slowing ramping up the number of approaches I'm making, and looking for ways to continue ramping it up.
Which means this is the point I'm starting to see what my game is actually like, where I can improve, and what my sticking points are.

My observations so far: I need to flirt a little more (conversations have been good and charming, but lack a little edge),
I need to find out more about the girl's hobbies, so I can joint date plan, and I need to weave more compliments into the conversation with
my indirect approaches so that my intent is clear.

To get myself approaching more, I'm going to try to use the advice in this article, and use visualisation to bootstrap the process.

In terms of goals and aims: the first approach turned into a fwb - which is nice - but ultimately I'm looking for someone
who feels extremely right to be with, and has the traits and characteristics of someone very well suited to an LTR.
My plan is to develop my game through cold approach, reach a point where I have an abundance of options, and then -
well - actually choose one. How long that'll take - who knows - but the journey should be exciting.

Edit:

Re-reading through the article above, I've decided focusing on opening with 'hi'/'how's your day going?', and then
opener-cycling from there will give me the most bang for my buck right now. I've opened direct and indirect in my other approaches,
but I think being able to simply say 'hi' will increase the number of situations I can approach in massively.

 

[Spyce D]

Cool man .

Looking forward to your progress

 

[Space321]

The Second Day

So, last night/this morning I tried a visualisation practice that proved to be pretty revolutionary.
Set a timer for 1 minute, imagine a scenario where I might encounter a girl, and approach her in my mind.
When the timer rings, set another - imagine a NEW scenario, approach again.

Did this 20 times between this morning and last night and it genuinely worked WONDERS.
I've been generally trying to warmup by talking to anyone I can - and it's usually very difficult, but today, almost
as soon as I left the door I was asking a random guy how his day was. Saw a cute girl at the train station - approached -
turns out she's going back to her home country from a vacation here, so didn't ask for her number.

Saw some guys dressed up all wacky with a camera, asked them what they were filming... this is all pretty unusual for me.
Generally takes me ages to warmup, and if I ever do, I usually don't get to that standard. The rest of the day was interesting,
I've been keeping my standards for girls I want to approach pretty high... but I'm starting to worry they're too high.

Again, this issue could be solved by me learning to street stop - I think this is something I'll pay special attention to in visualisations tonight/tomorrow.
Anyways, run into a friend, and then attended a meetup group in the evening, where I ended up asking the prettiest girl there
out after an extended conversation, and got a yes (and a really enthusiastic response to my icebreaker!).

So, a little disappointed with the overall stats today, because my confidence was on fire - but my standards/unwillingness
to approach using street stops limited what could have otherwise being an AMAZING day.

Either way, it's another day where I've emerged with a number, and pretty happy to get an enthusiastic response to my first text.
BUT.
Next time I go out I'm getting decent numbers guys - at least 3 approaches, hopefully 4.

Gotta keep up the visualisation - it helped a crazy amount.

See you all tomorrow.

 

[Space321]

A very interesting day!

Bullet points before detailed account:

• Bold daytime approach
• Many nightgame approaches
• 1 unplanned nightgame makeout - (could've been a lay if not for very weird logistics!)
• Approached a girl being chatted up by another guy!

So, didn't do as much visualisation as the day before - and it showed! I was a lot more
nervous starting the day off, but managed to get myself into the flow of things giving people
compliments when I loved their outfit, hair etc. This is before I arrived at the venue.

Saw a girl sat with 3 other friends, worked up the courage to say hello (complimented her), but I could tell off the bat
her reaction was different from most of my approaches, and she quickly told me she had a boyfriend. Too bad.

Later, again before arriving at the venue, I saw two girls who looked absolutely stunning - but they weren't my type.
So I took a leaf out of Zan Perrion's book, and decided - beauty should be appreciated, and went up to them and told them
exactly that - they told me I was handsome too as I left, which was nice.

So, arriving at the venue - one vital piece of context here is that I'm extremely new to nightgame. In fact, I've gone to bars/clubs
maybe 2/3 times before IN MY LIFE. Went with a couple of friends (who are also into approaching) as wings.
Almost immediately, a saw a girl looking in my direction repeatedly - time to pull up my bootstraps!

Walked up to her (she was in a group of 4), smiled, and said "Hi, I don't believe we've met yet, I'm..."
The interaction went very well, and a few minutes in she was asking for MY number! But... up close, I realized she
was a lot less attractive than I thought - and she was a little awkward (which can be cute, but... yeah).
I took her number instead, but I'm not planning on messaging her - I'm still at the stage where that sort of thing
makes me feel very guilty. I'm certain she'll find someone good for her in the long term though.

Utilized a bit of shotgun opening, moving on from people who either weren't my type or who weren't into me, and
at some point had a very interesting interaction with a girl who has with her best friend.

She was a little combative from the very beginning (I opened by guessing her nationality, she said it was very wrong, couldn't understand how I could possibly guess that nationality and proceeded to mock the opener lol). Continued the conversation, seemed to be going OK (she still had a combative vibe though), then at some point she says "you're very touchy. I mean, we hardly know each other and you're touching me a lot".
First time I've heard someone say that to me, but she's right, in nightgame I'm noticing I'm FAR more tactile than normal (and more than most men). I think I should probably taper this back a little, but not too much (in nightgame), because I think it also massively depends on how much the girl likes you (I should've probably calibrated more with this girl considering she was combative from the beginning). If anyone has any thoughts on this, I'd appreciate your input. I know Zan used to mention how he kinos "as soon as they are in range" and pretty heavily, but occasionally will get blown out from that, so I'm ASSUMING it's not necessarily bad. Again, any input would be appreciated.

Moving on, probably the most interesting part of the night was towards the end, when a girl I had noticed early suddenly enters my field of vision, starts smiling in this irresistable way that all but forces me to come over and say "Hi, I don't believe we've met yet, I'm..."

Now I've never experienced a girl this receptive before. It was on from the very beginning. About 10 minutes in, I invite her to sit with me, and soon after she's interlocking my hands with hers, and I can tell she's ready to kiss me - but I'm hesitant to kiss her, even a little, because I had zero logistics around this venue, even going to her place wouldn't have fixed the logistics issue (for reasons that would be hilarious to go into on this forum). It really made me think of the conversation with the girl earlier, and how this girl just ate my every touch up, but the girl earlier was skeptical in some way about it all. I think I just need to use touch very sparingly with combative girls (I think I partly view the combativeness as a little silly, so I almost instinctively touch to communicate and attitude of "Oh come on lol" - don't think it works with everyone though lol).

Anyway, so yeah, if I had logistics, I'm 95% sure I could've pulled the girl at the end, but... so it goes.

One last notable moment to end the night:

There was a girl I had my eye on the whole night, but she was always talking to a different guy.
Me and my wings were about to leave, so... it was pretty much now or never.
She was talking to a guy still, but my wings encouraged me to approach regardless, so...
I did.

Went up to her, said I'm about to leave, but I'd regret it if I didn't ask if she'd be interested in getting
a coffee or a drink sometime - and she said yes! Said let me get your number, and the other started saying
"well this is an interesting situation"... lol.

BUT.

Looked at the number later, when I got home - it's a digit short.
Now, I suppose there's a chance she didn't put the last digit in by accident,
but considering the unorthodox approach, I think she just gave me a fake number.
First time that's happened!

So anyway, good night regardless, a bunch of new experiences for me, and a continuation of my recent tendency
of making bold approaches (at least they feel bold to me haha).

Catch you all later!

 

[Spyce D]

How old are you ?

Just curious

 

[Space321]

How old are you ?

Just curious

Hey Spyce D, I'm in my mid 20s

 

[Spyce D]

Cool , same here.

I also started reading gc in my teens

 

[Space321]

3 Approaches today (all day game), which is a personal best for me day-game wise.

I planned/wanted to do more, at least 5, as per my previous post, but I'm still finding street stops difficult
to do psychologically, and from a stationary position, again there's not THAT many girls I actually have the desire to approach.

The 3 approaches:

1. A girl sneezing close behind me while I was walking - said bless you, then
continued a conversation, but she was going into a hairdressers like 20 seconds
after we started talking lol.

2. Coffee shop. Spotted a girl I wanted to say hi to a few tables away with her friend. Spent a few minutes
working up some courage, then got up and used a direct approach - went well, got her number, but will likely
require a call or voice note because I kept the interaction VERY short (< 2 minutes)

3. Girl looked at me, looked away, then looked at me and smiled as she walked by with her friend.
Kicked myself for not doing anything, then realized - hold on, she's not sonic, she'll still be around somewhere.
Saw she went into a book market thing, so I perused the market outside (there were books on the outside as well.
When she came out, casually turned to her and opened with a direct approach - but somehow she's 'not looking to date right now' lol.
Pretty bumed out by that one... but overall a good day!

Two things that I think will skyrocket my progress:

1. Keeping the visualization up, but focusing ESPECIALLY on talking to everyone, so that I'm maximally social when out and about.
2. Opening with streetstops using a nonsense 'excuse me, do you know where x is?/what the time is?'
in order to get comfortable actually stopping people who are walking - once I've started doing this, I can easily start
using real openers for the street stops.

 

[Gladiator]

The Second Day

So, last night/this morning I tried a visualisation practice that proved to be pretty revolutionary.
Set a timer for 1 minute, imagine a scenario where I might encounter a girl, and approach her in my mind.
When the timer rings, set another - imagine a NEW scenario, approach again.

Just curious why you visualize only approaches and not go beyond?

Maybe you'll end up training your subconscious only to approach and it wants to eject the set or not push further since subconsciously you're making that your goal?

 

[Space321]

Just curious why you visualize only approaches and not go beyond?

Maybe you'll end up training your subconscious only to approach and it wants to eject the set or not push further since subconsciously you're making that your goal?

Hey gladiator, It's mainly a time/focus thing. I think volume is important for visualization too, and since I still have major approach anxiety problems I'm trying to really hammer at the opening element of the interaction. The mid-game interaction seems to sort itself out pretty naturally for me - of course there's room for improvement there too, but it's WAY better than my ability to start an interaction right now.

 

[Gladiator]

Good on you for being consistent with that. It does make a lot of difference, I need to make it a habit. How do you visualize anyway?

 

[Space321]

Good on you for being consistent with that. It does make a lot of difference, I need to make it a habit. How do you visualize anyway?

One thing I've found super useful is timers.
Two different ways I use these:

1. For a dedicated session: Set a timer for 45 secs or 1 minute. Visualize a situation you'd approach in, and approach.
I think it's better to set the timer before you decide the situation, to mimic real life a little better. Then after the timer rings,
reset it.

2. To get it becoming a natural part of you: Setting a timer for a longer period, like 10 minutes, 30 minutes, or an hour.
Then visualize 1 approach every time the timer rings, and reset the timer - so you're almost doing approaches throughout your day
in between whatever other tasks you're doing.

Some useful notes: Try keeping a log of all the times you wanted to approach and didn't - pay these extra attention in the visualization
sessions.

 

[Space321]

A period of reduced action (but there is hope)

Lately I've been focusing on work things, and haven't had many days
of specifically going out with the objective of meeting girls.

This hasn't been TOTALLY fruitless - I've managed a few interesting indirect approaches that didn't turn into anything
because the girls were travelling and weren't here more than about a day - but I have made far less approaches in the last
week than in the previous weeks.

BUT.

I have found a wing. A good wing. I mentioned doing night game with some friends in one of my other posts,
but turns out one of those guys is also interested in day game. We've arranged to make a day of it next week -
which it seems will be a massive help for both of us. Certain approaches I'd be anxious to make, I think I'll be able
to make with him there. And eventually that'll bleed into my game when I'm alone, and hopefully the same for him.

I've also not been visualizing very much - which is stupid, because it worked quite well - simply a case of being lazy.

Still oriented towards the goal.

 

[Space321]

A landmark

This week I have 4 consecutive days of dates. 3 from pure cold approach, 1 from social-circle.

One cold approach this week I'm particularly proud of is a compliance opener used while travelling -
it seems a way better route than going direct, and it worked a charm, so excited about this style of opener
for generally difficult approaches.

Still haven't achieved LARGE amounts of approach volume, but I've been consistent, and I've
learned a new technique or two with the wing mentioned in the previous post (including a street stop). I've been embodying
the guy Chase talks about in How Naturals Meet Girls and Get Laid, and it's worked wonders thus far.

Still need to work on volume, but I haven't had time for a dedicated day of approaching lately, it's all been on
my way to or from work, so, it's understandable. Will be able to have a full day soon. Will be interesting to
see how it goes, because it feels like my confidence has increased quite a bit.

One of the dates this week will involve a pull to the girl's place - so should be interesting.

 

[Space321]

Learning new things

A thoroughly mixed bag today.

Before the date in the evening, went out, approached a girl in a beautiful dress,
but... only told her how beautiful she looked in her dress, then left...
First time that's happened. Felt a little self-conscious in the area, and she began packing
up her stuff and standing just as I was about to approach her - I think those things threw me off.

Reconciled it a little later by approaching two girls sitting down - couldn't think of a good opener, so
used a 'meta' opener, and asked them what they would do if they were a guy and wanted to talk to 2 pretty girls lol...
they both had boyfriends, but had a great conversation and one of them heavily complimented my sense of style,
which I very much appreciated.

So... on to the date. Well, this was a second date, and we ended up right at her place later in the evening,
before she expressed some concern about her housemates being up and having to interact all of us together.
Then said we couldn't go into her room because it's messy and small, lol. In retrospect, I should've just accepted going in
and talking to the housemates if I had to, then making a transition to the bedroom - far easier when you're just a few feet away lol.
But she suggested we go to another bar, and we did.

Anyway, I think something about kissing crystalized on this date. We kissed on the first date, but she was the one to kiss me.
With this girl, it seems even when a 'kiss moment' is created, there's no natural both people lean in and kiss situation - she'll often break eye contact quite quickly during these moments too, making the kiss difficult - even though this is the second time!.
So either I have to go all the way in, or she (as on the first date) has to. In the future, I need to consider that girls may want to kiss me but will still hang back, and in these cases, I just need to go in - slowly maybe - but go in nonetheless. Kissed her in the end just before we left - funny because the final kiss was far bolder than any initial kiss would've technically been - but I disappointed myself so much by not kissing her the whole date that I obviously had to do it before we parted ways - bold or not.

Tomorrow

This girl is another interesting one.
During the initial approach, she mentioned being a few months removed from a multi-year relationship, and while giving me her number
in the end after I suggested we see other and grab a bite to eat sometime, she mentioned still recovering from the relationship,
and something similar to 'so maybe we can start/keep it to just friends for now?'. And I sort of agreed, but mostly just sort of said yeah, sure, we'll get a bite to eat and... go from there. She's been quite enthusiastic on the texting front, and I get the vibe the 'friend' objection can be overturned with adequate framing. Will certainly do all I can to set the frame that this is not a platonic friendship. We'll see how she reacts to that.

Looking forward to writing tomorrows report!

 

[Funkus Maximus]

Thanks for sharing your adventures - I am inspired to try the visualization, and helping me think of cold approach as not just street stop, but people sitting, chilling, just generally in an easier to approach situation. I am just starting out and wanting to get testing this stuff over the next couple of weeks. Will follow your post