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Finances in Relationships

orkie123

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 21, 2023
Messages
218
Just read Johndoe's post in this board regarding affording lifestyle and one area where I feel a little clueless is how to handle finances in a LTR.

My life plan as outlined in another post is make decent money without working too long, invest as much as possible for passive income, and use the rest of money for travelling and experiences. I'm on a good path towards that but don't have a lot of assets yet.

Expensive stuff like cars, watches, first class seats, yachts or oversized houses don't attract me much. I also couldn't be attracted long term to someone who was obsessed about such stuff either. (I'm probably an extreme case, so if she occasionally likes to treat herself, that's fine).

With my ex, she was similar to me in terms of how we spend our money but I still felt like somehow I was losing frame because of the way we did things.

Since money and frame seem to have a strong link. I.e., if you have good frame, then you can have girls who are more easily "satisfied"? - whether that is through doing more chores or expecting less. I also don't mind sharing chores if she brings out other positives to make up for it, but I feel like that by splitting all chores, I'm losing frame.

One example is cooking, I like to cook. I don't mind doing it. I usually say, whoever cooks, the other cleans up. But my ex used to both cook and clean for her ex, and well, I felt like I was being judged for willingly accepting a worse deal than he was getting lol. Especially since he was definitely less financially abled. I know it's also an ego thing but how should a confident man handle such situations?

What are some good resources to learn or finance systems you guys have/know of for when you want a LTR to go the distance with kids etc?
 
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you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

Police dog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Apr 1, 2023
Messages
138
That’s a tough one and hugely depends on culture. In my home country (Eastern Europe) it is expected that a guy/husband pays for literally everything even if you both are college students. Same goes for Asian countries, at least based on my experience with Asian immigrant girls in the US. In my personal opinion this is very toxic, in my home country there is even a term for this “household prostitution”, like you get all the nice stuff as long as you finance it but that also includes girls cooking and cleaning for you, problem is young people just don’t really know how to cook yet😂. I hadn’t have an ltr with US born women yet (cuz I don’t really like white girls in general) but with the ones I been on dates - not a single one even offered to pay, I point this out because when I was preparing to move to the States, I was under the impression that women here are super duper feminist/independent/etc, turned out that’s not the case, at least when it comes to money🤣. Ultimately, you need to decide what is comfortable for you and find girls that share same values. But most likely, you will still have to to cover lion’s share of the expenses.
 

orkie123

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 21, 2023
Messages
218
Ultimately, you need to decide what is comfortable for you and find girls that share same values. But most likely, you will still have to to cover lion’s share of the expenses.
I've been raised in the western world but originally I'm also Eastern European. It is conflicting. In an ideal world, I actually prefer the more "equal" dynamic wanted in the west. It's just that in reality, it seems to translate to men getting taken advantage by women. However, I also don't really want a wife that's just there to be purely a housewife. Not because I want her to earn money but because I feel I would find such a girl boring.

Other questions on finances that I struggle to answer.

Lets say that she works a respectable but not amazingly paid job - nursing. I don't mind taking the lion share of expenses but what happens if I spend all my extra savings on investments that benefit us both, while she spends her smaller portion of extra money on luxuries? That would frustrate me as then it makes marriage a horrible deal for me. At least if we both spend on luxuries, then I wouldn't lose half of my assets if things turn sour. But there's very few luxuries I care about + I like the idea of growing my assets as life goes on.

Or maybe she is a really interesting person but does prefer to be a Housewife, I don't like the idea of having all the financial power. I can't see a way where I wouldn't become manipulative in such a scenario. It feels like too much power lol.
 

Police dog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Apr 1, 2023
Messages
138
Lets say that she works a respectable but not amazingly paid job - nursing.
RNs with BSN make close to 90k on average. Unless you live in Cali/NYC or are very rich yourself that’s a shit tone of money.
while she spends her smaller portion of extra money on luxuries
Find a girl who doesn’t do that.


Or maybe she is a really interesting person but does prefer to be a Housewife, I don't like the idea of having all the financial power.
Find a girl who has same views as yours.


I can't see a way where I wouldn't become manipulative in such a scenario. It feels like too much power lol.
Kiss your “so much power” ass goodbye when she files for divorce, takes lions share of your assets, and on top of that court orders you to still pay for her for many years ahead. And if you think that any prenup will save you from this, then you never dealt with the realities of the current legal system.


I would find such a girl boring
Have you ever seen a girl who isn’t? I am yet to witness such a thing. Most of them can’t even uphold a basic conversation and construct a coherent sentence that is longer than 10 words.


If you want to get married, have children and need a family advice, I really doubt you will find it on seduction forums.
 
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