Finding the balance of your natural behaviour and technical game.

[chasemember1969]

Short background about me: Back in 2019, I swore to myself to get better practicing the technical game so I could learn all techniques in a toolbox I could bust out in any situation with a woman. Then 2020, I was able to recall back on those experiences and discovered there were key moments where some women have shown she has never liked me (and when I say this, I mean in a way that no technique can work to get her interested in me) but I had no way of really knowing due to thinking "does she just no like me?" or "Have I done something wrong with my game that made her not like me?" so I ended up persisting regardless of that. I've been learning to ground myself in mentalities such as "if she doesn't like you within the first few minutes, she'll never like you, move on" or "It doesn't matter what signs she'll show you, if you ultimately not getting a date with her and not getting in the sack, she's probably wasting your time, move on" in an attempt to recognize situations where it's advantageous or disadvantageous for me. I also realized that me being too technical possibly gave out the vibe that I was being too calculating, turning some women off who would've had potential interest in me had I been more natural with it. I've also had moments where me trying to do those techniques with a purpose actually made me look creepy in a reverse effect kind of way.

Now 2021, I have a recent dating experience where mostly focusing on adopting mentalities resulted in me mostly exhibiting natural behaviour. However, while doing this I soon find myself behaving like every other guy a lot of girls will meet and be bored by i.e "What do you do for fun?", engaging in small conversations not really related to seduction, all in all acting more like a friend instead of a lover due to displaying mostly a friendly attitude without the sexy vibe. Now I'm finding points in my interaction where I could've done something different and am working towards making my execution of technical game natural, in the moment, yet strategic. There's one girl I've met on an author's site and I've found myself being able to take care of these situations properly like the right answer just came to me, but this is through text. I want to be able to handle this well in-person or in the moment.

How are you able to balance how you naturally act in the moment and your technical game without getting too dogmatic or too relaxed?

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

There are a million ways to approach this topic.

But generally I small chunk the game.

For any given technique it's learning the "content" and then learning the delivery and then understanding the reactions and how to adjust.

Lemme make a quick opener up, "You look like you voted for Trump"

That's the content. On content alone, it's super polarizing.

She can agree, she can disagree, she "what makes you say that..", etc

I don't really need her to say yes/no, agree/disagree - because I don't really care about the topic, per se.

In balancing the tech with my natural instincts and desires - My goal is to develop value on the fly.

By value, I mean that I'm the most interesting thing that's going on right now with the girl.
I want to grab her brain by the stem and drown it in emotional lsd/cocaine/molly/whiskey and cotton candy.

My value is not some combination of net worth, credit score, height, and dance skills.

The value is in the interaction I create, and how I make her feel, and whether or not she gets hooked and wants to feel more.

In terms of tech, my questions move away from how she might respond, and more to how do I behave?
How do I deliver?
What emotional impact am I going for?

- What setting do I use this in?
- What's my tone of voice? Accusatory? Playful? Suspicious?
- What are my facial reactions? Smirking? Smiling innocently? Dead Serious?
- Where do I pause?
- Do I not give her a chance to respond?
- Where do I put my emphasis? "You..." ..."Trump"
- How much eye contact do I make with her?

And then how do I react to her reaction (or non-reaction, as the case may be)

This is where I put my energy when learning something. Because the 99% of words only matter a tiny bit.
1% of words can sink your ship though.. (In America, call her a cunt before you start flirting, and see how that flies)

I can change the topic.

"You look like cat person." (You could even sniff quickly, but then say she LOOKS like a cat person, implying that she smells like cat hair)

"You look like you'd never eat pineapple on a pizza."

Change it from a cold read about her, to something about me.

"You know what? I don't remember the last time I sang out loud."

For my style of game - the content, the question, the statement, the action, the look, the wink, the wiggle, the quick dance step - it's maybe the tip of the iceberg.

So the "technique" here, the technical knowledge - is less about memorization and doing some routine perfectly, but using non-verbal tools to convey emotion, to convey feeling, to convey energy, ..to get the girl "entangled" with my bs.

That said, nearly everything in pick up is both overkill and underkill in terms of efficacy. I can cut my spiel super short and ask the girl to walk over to the bar with me and we'll fall into a natural conversation rather quickly.

Guys that don't like to screen can get a make out super quick and leave with a chick in 15 minutes. (not saying he's gonna bang in 15, but if you can get her to leave with you anywhere after a cold approach, the odds are in your favor)

That said by taking my focus off 1) content, 2) a specific time line of what needs to happen next and putting my focus on what kind of emotions I want to broadcast to her/reciprocate - I can move the ball forward.

I don't completely drop structure. A lot of guys get stuck in the mode where they're either entertaining the girl, entertaining themselves, but don't escalate for fear of killing the vibe/losing the girl.

I create value with me and her, push her around, test her a bit, qualify her - but when I crack the safe, it's time to open it, and get her out of the space I meet her in, and into a smaller more intimate one.

So for me
- see the girl
- approach
- first words
- reaction/no reaction
- focus on my actions that elicit her reactions
- escalate - flirt/move her/touch her/lead her
- handle her friends
- get her out of their to some place where we both "let our hair down"

I'm not a particularly good looking dude if you just saw my pic.
But the energy of the interaction is what ends up being attractive, and then suddenly my ears and nose are cute.

That's how I balance it now. I used to be all tech and super structured. It works. But you'll find that a lot of things in pick up, 1) work, or 2) you can make them work.

But for me, it's focusing on the moment to moment emotional flow, and putting less energy/focus into the opener A, neg B, routine C, emotional transfer X, back turn, deep eye contact for 3.4 seconds...

WIA

 

[Will_V]

Short background about me: Back in 2019, I swore to myself to get better practicing the technical game so I could learn all techniques in a toolbox I could bust out in any situation with a woman. Then 2020, I was able to recall back on those experiences and discovered there were key moments where some women have shown she has never liked me (and when I say this, I mean in a way that no technique can work to get her interested in me) but I had no way of really knowing due to thinking "does she just no like me?" or "Have I done something wrong with my game that made her not like me?" so I ended up persisting regardless of that. I've been learning to ground myself in mentalities such as "if she doesn't like you within the first few minutes, she'll never like you, move on" or "It doesn't matter what signs she'll show you, if you ultimately not getting a date with her and not getting in the sack, she's probably wasting your time, move on" in an attempt to recognize situations where it's advantageous or disadvantageous for me. I also realized that me being too technical possibly gave out the vibe that I was being too calculating, turning some women off who would've had potential interest in me had I been more natural with it. I've also had moments where me trying to do those techniques with a purpose actually made me look creepy in a reverse effect kind of way.

I agree with your mentality. I think the key thing here is that (in my opinion) game is not for generating attraction, it's for not screwing it up. Chemistry is real, and unless you're a dude just trying to rack up lays with party girls, a lot of the time it's simply not worth pursuing a woman who's not already investing something. Women are not stupid, if you talk to them and they like you, they won't make it excruciatingly difficult to move forward.

Now 2021, I have a recent dating experience where mostly focusing on adopting mentalities resulted in me mostly exhibiting natural behaviour. However, while doing this I soon find myself behaving like every other guy a lot of girls will meet and be bored by i.e "What do you do for fun?", engaging in small conversations not really related to seduction, all in all acting more like a friend instead of a lover due to displaying mostly a friendly attitude without the sexy vibe. Now I'm finding points in my interaction where I could've done something different and am working towards making my execution of technical game natural, in the moment, yet strategic. There's one girl I've met on an author's site and I've found myself being able to take care of these situations properly like the right answer just came to me, but this is through text. I want to be able to handle this well in-person or in the moment.

How are you able to balance how you naturally act in the moment and your technical game without getting too dogmatic or too relaxed?

You're confusing being 'natural' with being boring. I have a very simple way to deal with this. For me, everything I do with a woman is sexual. The way I look at her, touch her, my tone, the topics I steer the conversation toward. This is not fake or gamey - for me, an interaction with a woman is all about sex and sexuality, pleasure and teasing. Women can tease me just by moving a certain way or looking at me a certain way. My honest belief is that women are born to be givers and receivers of delight (mainly sexual, though nurturing and all that comes into it as well). If it's not in that vibe I actually feel a bit uncomfortable, like what am I doing here, what's the point of this?

The thing is, even if we don't get together, I greatly enjoy getting to express that side of myself, playing with her in that vibe. For a man, it's a healing type of energy. You can forget about problems and responsibilities and just immerse yourself in her soft femininity, ratcheting the tension up and down to keep her on her toes. Every moment a girl spends with me is another moment on the slippery slide toward my bed, and I know that she knows that. If she's there in front of me, I treat her as if she's implicitly accepted this. And the fact that I enjoy this part of the seduction (conversation with a sexual tilt) so much gives me a lot of outcome independence. I can talk about literally anything with a woman and the vibe will be exactly the same, and I can walk away feeling good no matter what happens.

I feel like many guys don't sit down and think: let's say I had a girlfriend, and I just banged her and we're lying there in bed, what would we do? Well, you'd cuddle, tease, laugh, play around, build connection - all with a sexual vibe. Well, the way I see it, that's how a man should treat a woman on the first date, so she understands what she is going to be able to enjoy with him.

 

[Glow]

Short background about me: Back in 2019, I swore to myself to get better practicing the technical game so I could learn all techniques in a toolbox I could bust out in any situation with a woman. Then 2020, I was able to recall back on those experiences and discovered there were key moments where some women have shown she has never liked me (and when I say this, I mean in a way that no technique can work to get her interested in me) but I had no way of really knowing due to thinking "does she just no like me?" or "Have I done something wrong with my game that made her not like me?" so I ended up persisting regardless of that. I've been learning to ground myself in mentalities such as "if she doesn't like you within the first few minutes, she'll never like you, move on" or "It doesn't matter what signs she'll show you, if you ultimately not getting a date with her and not getting in the sack, she's probably wasting your time, move on" in an attempt to recognize situations where it's advantageous or disadvantageous for me. I also realized that me being too technical possibly gave out the vibe that I was being too calculating, turning some women off who would've had potential interest in me had I been more natural with it. I've also had moments where me trying to do those techniques with a purpose actually made me look creepy in a reverse effect kind of way.

Now 2021, I have a recent dating experience where mostly focusing on adopting mentalities resulted in me mostly exhibiting natural behaviour. However, while doing this I soon find myself behaving like every other guy a lot of girls will meet and be bored by i.e "What do you do for fun?", engaging in small conversations not really related to seduction, all in all acting more like a friend instead of a lover due to displaying mostly a friendly attitude without the sexy vibe. Now I'm finding points in my interaction where I could've done something different and am working towards making my execution of technical game natural, in the moment, yet strategic. There's one girl I've met on an author's site and I've found myself being able to take care of these situations properly like the right answer just came to me, but this is through text. I want to be able to handle this well in-person or in the moment.

How are you able to balance how you naturally act in the moment and your technical game without getting too dogmatic or too relaxed?

for me its a process that naturally unfolds when you just start focussing on both side by side

no need to have a perfect plan

more consider that any area you engage with contains parts of both.

The natural parts has an intelligence once you own your reactions more that puts weights into things. Or they can impede you if they create bad natural reactions and behaviors.

Techs unfoldet from that base is more alive and muuuuch stronger

and the techs adds a quality of doing that refines and sharpns it.

eg learning make out intuition is down the natural path but there are certain technical doings that enhances the quality of it. Eg holding a face to face hold. eg not moving your face an inch. etc. how you position. control of the arousal of it. Once you learn that you can dig deeper into broader sense of sexual intuition and the likes. Contrast that to learning a kiss routine that is all tech focussed that doesnt expand much. or just focussing on the intuitive part but not refining its quality with techs which can make it rough.

Youre presence with girls will inform you where the issues are and the areas you wanna develop. Or yoou can handpick a good model - a way of seducing you like. Then look for both sides.

Tech and what i see as natural works together adding both aliveness, power to it and quality of the doing.

lol - got caught by an angle on the title.

You need to own your natural behavior and activate it piece by piece.

you might think its natural. Most is really a set of habits you have learned. This you can assess and potentially change. Or enhance and bring out your good sides more. While also tapping into your own being.

One key to not staying too relaxed and passive with your natural state is to feel and key in on your intent for specific girls to fuel your momentum. work from that as the core engine. Its a good thing to learn to own ones intent. sexual as non sexual.

 

[Velasco]

How are you able to balance how you naturally act in the moment and your technical game without getting too dogmatic or too relaxed?

I think nowadays it's as simply as asking yourself did you do SECT and run the 3 keys on the girl?

SECT (Speak slowly, (hold) Eye contact, Close (in her space), Treat her as if she sas already your girl)

Social frame (your a cool friendly guy), Emotional Stimulation (your a guy who has some interesting deep (skip to 6:10) things to say), Sexual arousal (doing things deliberately as a means to turn her on).

If you did not take the girl home, and on reassessment you did not do either of the two, then you fucked up (wildcards aside). If you did, then she just doesnt like you.

but I had no way of really knowing due to thinking "does she just no like me?" or "Have I done something wrong with my game that made her not like me?"

So in your 2021 self assessment, your social frame is ok, but you are neglecting the sexual arousal key (not sure if you are going deeper than basic surface level small talk with these girls). For this key I recommend you check out Alek Rolstad's sex talk articles on girls chase.

 

[Skills]

Short background about me: Back in 2019, I swore to myself to get better practicing the technical game so I could learn all techniques in a toolbox I could bust out in any situation with a woman. Then 2020, I was able to recall back on those experiences and discovered there were key moments where some women have shown she has never liked me (and when I say this, I mean in a way that no technique can work to get her interested in me) but I had no way of really knowing due to thinking "does she just no like me?" or "Have I done something wrong with my game that made her not like me?" so I ended up persisting regardless of that. I've been learning to ground myself in mentalities such as "if she doesn't like you within the first few minutes, she'll never like you, move on" or "It doesn't matter what signs she'll show you, if you ultimately not getting a date with her and not getting in the sack, she's probably wasting your time, move on" in an attempt to recognize situations where it's advantageous or disadvantageous for me. I also realized that me being too technical possibly gave out the vibe that I was being too calculating, turning some women off who would've had potential interest in me had I been more natural with it. I've also had moments where me trying to do those techniques with a purpose actually made me look creepy in a reverse effect kind of way.

Now 2021, I have a recent dating experience where mostly focusing on adopting mentalities resulted in me mostly exhibiting natural behaviour. However, while doing this I soon find myself behaving like every other guy a lot of girls will meet and be bored by i.e "What do you do for fun?", engaging in small conversations not really related to seduction, all in all acting more like a friend instead of a lover due to displaying mostly a friendly attitude without the sexy vibe. Now I'm finding points in my interaction where I could've done something different and am working towards making my execution of technical game natural, in the moment, yet strategic. There's one girl I've met on an author's site and I've found myself being able to take care of these situations properly like the right answer just came to me, but this is through text. I want to be able to handle this well in-person or in the moment.

How are you able to balance how you naturally act in the moment and your technical game without getting too dogmatic or too relaxed?

read this: https://www.girlschase.com/article/pickup-tech/naturalized-game-make-seducing-women-work-your-way

 

[ocean_eyes]

Now I'm finding points in my interaction where I could've done something different and am working towards making my execution of technical game natural, in the moment, yet strategic. There's one girl I've met on an author's site and I've found myself being able to take care of these situations properly like the right answer just came to me, but this is through text. I want to be able to handle this well in-person or in the moment.

How are you able to balance how you naturally act in the moment and your technical game without getting too dogmatic or too relaxed?

Love it. OK this is what you do:

Use 1% of the brain to reply to her small talk, and use the other 99% to move, walk, and talk DRIPPING with sexiness.

Alternate smile with bedroom eyes/no smile.
Deep-yet-soft voice.
Touch arm.
Stand sideways (like 90deg to her)

Don't find "points in your interactions," just BLANKET your ENTIRE interaction with some SEXY fuckin body language!



Careful, this secret technique to get women is illegal in 47 countries, including yours! But venmo me $100 and I'll send you my ebook. LMAO...kidding...This is all GWM stuff and really easy to do, but its almost scary when you turn girls on by "doing so little" - as your mind thinks of it. It can literally work against you if you don't have the balls to escalate aka bounce her outta there back to her your place

 

[ocean_eyes]

You're confusing being 'natural' with being boring. I have a very simple way to deal with this. For me, everything I do with a woman is sexual. The way I look at her, touch her, my tone, the topics I steer the conversation toward. This is not fake or gamey - for me, an interaction with a woman is all about sex and sexuality, pleasure and teasing. If it's not in that vibe I actually feel a bit uncomfortable, like what am I doing here, what's the point of this?



I feel like many guys don't sit down and think: let's say I had a girlfriend, and I just banged her and we're lying there in bed, what would we do? Well, you'd cuddle, tease, laugh, play around, build connection - all with a sexual vibe. Well, the way I see it, that's how a man should treat a woman on the first date, so she understands what she is going to be able to enjoy with him.

GOLD.
Fuckin' A!
What a great post.

 

[ocean_eyes]

It's called unconscious competence.

The goal when learning any pickup tech is incorporating it into your natural actions.

Aspire to become unconsciously competent in your fundamentals. . . and many dating skills taught here. This allows you to fully embody seductive characters like the Charmer and the Visionary. Men of this caliber are few in number. . . but their dating options overflow with absolute abundance.

This is also so incredibly true. Sad that so many PUAs halt their progress, never reach that level and quit (or get married, which arguably is a good goal, but not the first chick you fuck after you decide you wanna get married...lol)