- Joined
- Dec 7, 2012
- Messages
- 234
Another plateau down 
8/17/13: My wing and I were planning on going to a new mall area to check for girls. We searched plenty of stores, but the mall was fairly vacant, and after about half an hour, we found nobody that looked approachable. After approaching a pretty looking Asian girl who happened to be twelve, my wing encountered a friend with his girlfriend Kat, whom we began to hang out with at Savers. We spent time playing pranks, making racist jokes, talking about how I got banned from the mall, and making sexual innuendos, and then I invited them to walk around with us.
Nev: Now with a group of four, my wing began to speak very well of me, telling our new friends that they need to see me in action. With my ego now inflated and growing, I spotted a girl walking into the dollar store. Seeing the opportunity immediately, I broke circle, ran up to her, and opened as I walked with her:
Me: "I wanted to come tell you before I lost the chance... I think you look super cute, and I had to come say hello!"
Her: "Oh haha, thank you!"
Me: "What's your name?"
Her: "Nev."
Me: "I'm AP!" (I shook her hand and held it until she pulled away.)
Her: "Nice to meet you!"
Me: "So are you headed to Burlington?"
Her: "Nope, I'm actually headed to the Dollar Tree to pick up stuff for a garage sale!"
Me: "Oh okay, so you basically buy stuff here for a dollar and then go home to sell it for more."
Her: "Basically, yeah!"
Me: "I've.... never been to a garage sale before... well, I've been to one, but I've never... you know, run one with my family before!"
Her: "Oh, okay!" (We both enter the Dollar Tree, and afterwards we begin standing face to face in front of the store.)
Me: "I'm totally leaving my friends for you by the way. I really hope they don't get mad at me!"
Her: "Oh no! You shouldn't do that! Haha, I'm crunched on time anyway."
Me: "Well, you're cute, and I wanted to come see if our personalities matched, so here I am! Can you tell me something interesting about yourself?"
Her: "Hmm... My family's from Serbia!"
Me: "Serbia? Wow, that's awesome! You'll be the first Serbian girl I've met. Is it beautiful there?"
Her: "Haha, I guess!"
Me: "I've always wanted to travel to Europe. I've never been there because I'm the only adventurous one in my family. My folks never like to go anywhere... How long have you been in the States?"
Her: "I've lived here my whole life actually. My family is from Serbia! It's like right next to Croatia."
Me: "Do all the girls in Serbia look like this? I would so move there if you said yes."
Her: "Haha! I don't know... I guess it depends on your preference."
Somehow along the way, she ended up mentioning that she had a boyfriend and she was short on time, but I don't remember how exactly that came about.
Me: "Okay, well, I don't want to keep you any longer, but I'd still love to get to know you better and see if our personalities click.. Do you want to stay in touch?"
Her: "Well... I think my boyfriend would get mad at that..."
Me: "How bout just facebook friends then?"
Her: "Sure!"
She entered her name into my phone, and then we parted ways.
Vesselina: When I went back to the group, my wing asked me how things went, and I told him that she had a boyfriend, but we would stay in touch on Facebook. We decided to go to Joanns, where Kat's mother and sister happened to be. I asked if her sister was single, and my wing asked if she was cute. She said yes to both, so I asked if it was okay if I hit on her sister, to which she replied that she didn't really care, and that her sister needed a boyfriend anyway.
When we got into the store, we found Vesselina with her mom, and I greeted both as we met them. It started out very awkward because I didn't find her attractive at first. I was also trying to get my wing to approach, because I was trying to get him to try his first set.
Me: "Hi, I'm AP!"
Mom: "Hi AP! I'm (name) and this is Vess."
Her: "Hi AP! Hi Kat! Long time no see."
Me: "What do you mean long time no see?"
Her: "I just got back. It's been a week since we saw each other!"
Me: "Oh, okay, awesome!"
*awkward pause*
Me: "So what are you guys shopping for?"
Her: "We're curtain shopping!"
Me: "Oh, I've never been curtain shopping before..."
Her: "Me neither!"
After a bit of awkward silence, I knew my wing wasn't gonna try anything, so I said "Fuck it" and moved to turn the interaction into something worth remembering.
Me: *to the mom* "I'm gonna be totally honest here... I think your daughter is super cute! Would it be okay with you if I talk with her?"
Mom: "Oh... Haha!"
Wing: "Whoa..."
Me: "What? I'm just being honest here."
Mom: "How old are you?"
Me: "I'm seventeen." (She makes the "okay, I'm considering it" gesture) *I smile* "Do I meet the requirements?"
Mom: "I think that's more up to her than me."
Me: *Back to girl* "How bout it? Do you want to walk and talk?"
Her: "Um... Sure!"
Me: "Cool! Let's walk over there then! This is my first time here, so I have no clue where I'm leading us by the way..."
Her: "That's fine! Haha!"
Me: "So anyway, now that we're here, can you tell me something interesting about you?"
Her: "Sure! Um... I like to ski a lot!"
Me: "Oh, cool! Not right now though, I'm assuming?"
Her: "Actually, I do ski right now! I just got back from a ski trip in Chicago."
Me: "Really? How? There's no snow!"
Her: "No! Haha, I do roller skiing!"
Me: "Roller skiing... I've never heard of that before."
Her: "Yeah, they're actually with my dad right now. I could show you later if you want!"
Me: "Do you think your dad would approve of me?"
Her: "Hmm... I'm not sure! Do you get good grades?"
Me: "I do... I'm also really good at acting like I'm some respectable young man!"
Her: "Hahaha! Oh my god! Where do you go to school?"
Me: "I go to Tartan."
Her: "So you go to the same school as (name of friend that I met today)."
Me: "Huh?"
Her: "(Name of friend that I met today).. you were with him.. remember?"
Me: "Ohhhh... Haha, I'm so horrible with names!"
Her: "What's my name?"
Me: "....What's MY name?"
Her: "Hahaha...... oh dang... um.... no, you've got me there."
Me: "Ha! So we're even then."
Her: "Let's see.... nope! Sorry!"
Me: "You're fine, really. So anyway, do you do anything else besides ski? Are you into music at all?"
Her: "Um.. sorta... I used to play the trombone in Elementary school. I also self taught myself guitar, but I kinda forgot it."
Me: "No..."
Her: "Yep!"
Me: "That's awesome! I'm a guitarist myself! Let me see your hand." (I begin to feel her left hand for callouses)
Her: "It's been a LONG long time..."
Me: "I can tell... Here, I want to show you something." *I pull out my keys from my pocket and hand them to her* "Do NOT run off with these."
Her: "Hahaha, I won't!"
Me: *I hand her a random Sears receipt before I get to my guitar pick, which I then hand to her and take back my keys* "This is my guitar pick. I have a habit of carrying one with me because I'm a dork like that."
Her: "Haha, okay, cool! Do you play acoustic or electric?"
Me: "They're the same thing really... I play electric mostly now, but I started on acoustic."
Her: "Oh really? Me too!"
Me: "Do you play electric now then?"
Her: "Not really.. My dad got my sister an electric guitar, but I think it's a size too small... Do guitars have sizes?" (At this point I ended up sitting myself down in a corner, to which she responded by sitting down on a ladder in front of me.)
Me: "I'm not really sure... I just found my uncle's old electric that he left behind when he left to move to Vietnam, so I just played that!"
Her: "Oh okay!"
Me: "I like playing electric more than acoustic because the neck is a lot narrower and the frets are spaced closer together... I'm an Asian guy, and my hands aren't as big as I'd like them to be."
Her: "Haha, I have big hands.."
Me: "Really? Let me see.." (We touched our hands together, and hers were slightly larger than mine.) "This makes me a bit insecure about my little Asian hands..."
Her: "Haha, sorry! Also, one of my hands are bigger than the other?"
Me: "What? No..."
Her: "It's true! See?" (She presses her hands together, and one is slightly larger than the other."
Me: "You sure it isn't just the fingernails?"
Her: "No! They're really bigger.. look!" *I sit up, cup her hands in mine, and examine them*
Me: "I think that's really cool. Maybe it's because you played guitar and one just got longer than the other for that."
Her: "Maybe... Or it's because of piano! I played for nine years."
Me: "Wow, really?"
Her: "Yeah... I suck though!" (This would have been a perfect opportunity to ask her if she swallows too)
Me: "Right... Every girl tells me they suck... They prove themselves wrong when I actually hear them play though!"
Her: "Well, I hardly ever practice! Too busy with skiing nowadays!"
Me: "I got you. The same thing happened to me."
Her: "Haha, I've tried out for soccer, lacrosse.... football... basketball, softball..."
Me: "You like playing with a lot of balls then?"
Her: "YEAH haha! I also tried out for hockey, but I was the only girl on the team, so I quit!"
Me: "Hahaha... you really have been all over haven't you... you even tried football!"
Her: "Yeah, but that was in Elementary school!"
Me: "Why'd you stop?"
Her: "Well, I ended up getting hurt... you see, the field was split into two parts... one with grass, and one with concrete..."
Me: "And you happened to fall on the concrete side."
Her: "Yes!"
Me: "Damn!!!!"
Her: "Yeah, that didn't feel good! Haha"
Me: "You're a person who isn't afraid to try new things though... I like it when people are like that. Most people will go on and on saying they hate this and that without ever giving things a chance... Look at you... You've tried everything!"
Her: "Mmmhmm.... Do you play any sports?"
Me: "Yeah I used to.... football (Imitating her)"
Her: "Really? Wow, I didn't see that at all!"
Me: "Yeah, I sorta got a bit too small for the sport."
Her: "No kidding!"
Me: "I was a lineman, and the linemen have gotten huge over the years. Plus... a knee injury kind of ended my career."
Her: "Ooohhh... I know what you mean about injuries... I've had like 5 surgeries so far... One for my ankle, one for my wrist, for my knee.. oh and two wisdom teeth taken out!"
Me: "Damn! Haha, my dad does acupuncture, so I sorta know how to fix some of this stuff."
Somehow, her and I got into a conversation about fear, but once again, I have no recollection of how this came about.
Her: "I'm afraid of spiders too!"
Me: "What else scares you?"
Her: "Let's see... heights... the ocean... I just feel like it'll pull me away... scary movies..."
Me: "No scary movie dates for you then huh?"
Her: "No... I've been on a movie date though!"
Me: "But not a scary movie."
Her: "No, we watched wolverine!"
Me: "Oh okay, how'd that go?"
Her: "It went well... Wait.. The movie or the guy?"
Me: "The guy! Haha, when a movie date goes well, you shouldn't remember what happened in the movie."
Her: "Hahaha, well... we kind of just went as friends. He was going into the military, so he didn't want to get involved with anyone..."
Me: "Oh, I see... Personally, I hate movie dates."
Her: "Why's that?"
Me: "Well, I'm a real talky kind of person... I like communication, and I'll talk to just about anyone if I see a reason that I want to... That's why I was so comfortable telling you I thought you were cute and talking to you..."
Her: "Haha, I can see that!"
Me: "And movie dates... they don't allow room for conversation... know what I mean?"
Her: "I understand haha! We sorta knew each other at the time though... he and I did 10 hours of volunteer work at a fair!"
Me: "Well, even so, I prefer coffee dates so I can get to know the person a little better."
Her: "I see!"
*pause*
Me: "Hey, I didn't want to ask you this in front of your mom, so before she comes back... do you want to meet up and grab some coffee sometime?"
Her: "Sure! I'd love to!"
Me: "Awesome! How can I contact you then?"
Her: "Do you have a phone?"
Me: "I do."
Her: "Okay, what's your number?" *I give her my number* "This isn't gonna be a rejection number is it?"
Me: "Nah, I asked you right?"
Her: "Okay.. and what's your name?"
Me: "(Give her my name.) A lot of people would pay to have that kind of information, so don't just give it to anyone okay?"
Her: "Haha, I could have sworn that we went over my name, but not yours... Or maybe I just forgot!"
Me: "You probably just forgot... Or I'm just being a jackass about this so that we stay even!"
Her: "Haha, okay, I'm gonna text you right now..."
*texts "Sup it's V-dawg"*
Me: "Got it! Do I save your number as V-Dawg though?"
Her: "Or Vess... I don't care really... Here, I'll send you my full name. It's Vessalina!"
Me: "Maybe that's why I had trouble with it. You're the first Vessalina I've met! Like Vasaline?" (Not smart to play word games with her name.. I'll avoid that in the future..)
Her: "Yes.. You probably got it mixed up with Vanessa, I get that a LOT... and yes, I get that a LOT too." (I could tell I stung her a bit.)
Me: "I want to make sure I'm pronouncing that right. Otherwise I'd feel like a total douche."
Her: "Haha, it's Vessalina!"
Me: "Vasalina?"
Her: "Vessalina."
Me: "Vess...a..lina.."
Her: "There ya go!"
Me: "Can you make sure it's spelled right?"
Her: "Sure! Oohh... Let me fix that.."
Me: "What language is your name?"
Her: "My parents are from Bulgaria!"
Me: "Oh really? You're the first Bulgarian girl I've ever met then!"
Her: "Haha, thank you!"
My wing, her sister, and my new friend suddenly appeared with her dad, whom I waved to.
Me: "Have you guys been spying on us?"
Wing: "Kinda haha!"
Me: "Roman, how much time do we have?"
Wing: "I don't know.. que hora es?"
Me: "It's... 6:50.. Yeah we don't have a whole lot of time, do we?"
Her: "Do you speak fluent Spanish?"
Me: "Only enough to give you the worst conversation you've ever had..." *to Roman* "She's about to show me her roller skis though.. Can I see them before we go?"
Wing: "Sure. As long as I still get a ride home!"
Me: "Cool... Oh hang on.. someone's calling me.."
I had a conversation in Vietnamese on the phone with my mom while we were walking out.
Me: "You now have just heard my Vietnamese."
Her: "I could tell! Haha!"
Me: "You could tell what I was speaking was Vietnamese? How? Haha!"
Her: "Well, you mentioned earlier that your uncle moved to Vietnam, and you're Asian... so I put two and two together!"
Me: "Smart!" *I turned to the dad as we reached the car* "What's your name?"
Dad: "I'm (name)"
Me: "I'm AP! Nice to meet you!" *I shake his hand firmly*
Dad: *To Vessalina* "I think your mom has the keys.. sorry.."
Her: "Really? Okay... Well... I guess I can just send you a picture later then!"
Me: "Sounds good to me!"
Her: "And then meet up.. and coffee!"
Me: "Perfect! What's your schedule look like later on?"
Her: "Um... I don't know.. Just text me!"
Me: "Okay, will do. Hug goodbye?"
Her: "Sure!"
And so, we hugged and parted ways. Later though, we texted back and forth for a good while.
---
Me: "Hey vesselina so you seemed to me like a caramel cooler kind of person, but I wasn't sure. Am I close?"
Her: "I'm not sure, I actually don't drink much coffee. But what I have had is french vanilla late" *sends me a picture of her posing with the roller ski*
Me: "I don't either. To be honest, I normally grab green tea there"
Me: "Btw, awesome roller ski"
Her: "I heard green tea is super healthy for you, and prevents cancer! Which is always a plus"
Me: "Lmao i'm a bit obsessed with nutrition and that kind of stuff... I actually think it's really awesome that somebody besides me knows that! Also, before I forget, what's your schedule look like next week?"
Her: "Haha, yeah. I"m kinda a nutrition freak too. I'm off of work on Wednesday and friday, and Monday after work."
Me: "That explains it how does monday at one or wednesday at six thirty work for you?"
Her: "Does that work?"
Me: "Those two times work for me... I'm the one asking you if it works"
Her: "I think Wednesday at 6:30 works best, cus work ends at 4 for me"
Me: "It's a date where do I pick you up?"
Her: "I was thinking we could meet there, and if things workout, then you could pick me up from my house other times... that ok?"
Me: "Fine by me let's say... the (location of date)"
Her: "Okay, I'll see ya there at 6:30 on Wednesday"
---
My wing was super excited as we walked to my car, and decided that he wanted to try a set. We decided to stop by a mall for a quick session, but he refused to approach girls with their moms around though, so I ended up approaching a girl as we got into Kohls.. She had a boyfriend though, so it was too short to learn anything from.
Ashley: As we walked, I tried to nudge him to go approach a girl, but he wouldn't budge... We ended up passing a gorgeous blonde, and since he wouldn't budge, I felt it was a total waste not going up to her. I went in instead.
Me: "Hey, I saw you while I was walking, and I wanted to come tell you before I lost the chance that I thought you looked absolutely adorable!"
Her: "Oh thank you! Haha"
Me: "What's your name?"
Her: "Ashley."
Me: "I'm AP!" *I shook her hand and held until she pulled away.* "So now that I'm here, I think I'll just put you on the spot right away. Can you tell me something interesting about yourself?"
Her: "Um... I'm a dancer!"
Wing: "Really? Yes! Something I can relate to! You see I'm in theatre and..." (He basically butt in to steal my set. Rude and uncalled for, but I can see where he was coming from. I also wanted to see what he would do.) "...So yeah, I love that kind of stuff."
Me: "How'd you get into dancing in the first place?" (I tried to take my set back. He had been unwilling to approach in the first place, but I suppose I could have been a bit more generous.)
Her: "Well, my grandma took me to my first lesson when I was three."
Me: "Oh, okay, and then you kept at it for this long."
Her: "Yep! That's sort of how it went... Haha!"
Me: "How does it feel when you're dancing?"
Her: "Good I guess!"
Wing: "I know I love the feeling when I'm acting. It's just like taking out all your anger!"
Her: "Yeah I know right?"
Me: "It's the same with me and guitar.. Here, hold this *I give her my keys* ...Do NOT run off with my keys..."
Her: "Haha!"
Me: "Here we go!" *I hand her my guitar pick*
Me: "Do you do anything else?"
Her: "Let's see.. dancing.. softball.. I'm also a cheerleader!"
Wing: "Oh really? Wow!!! We don't have cheerleaders here!"
Me: "You're clearly not from around here then... Where are you from?"
Her: "I'm not.. Do you know where Duluth is?"
Me: "I do... Far far away form this lonely place right?"
Her: "Haha, yes!"
Me: "So what brings you all the way over here? Oh... hang on, I got a call. Roman, entertain her."
My dad ended up interrupting my set by calling to see where I was. As I spoke to him in Vietnamese, Roman continued talking with the girl, but I didn't hear how it all went.
Me: "Sorry, my dad called. I can't spend the night anymore."
Wing: "What? Awww.."
Her: *drops my guitar pick* "Oops..."
Me: "Did you just drop my pick? Oh hell no... Now we can't be friends anymore."
Her: "Sorry! Haha!"
Me: "You're fine. Roman, I think we should go before we're late."
The conversation ended with her giving us both our numbers, but with the way we fought for her attention and didn't deep dive, I anticipated a a flake from her... No text back, and I'm not surprised.
Overall, I'd say that was a very productive day. I was able to break a significant plateau, and now I have a date on Wednesday
Things I did well:
1) I got the mini date, and successfully arranged an actual date.
2) I've become a lot calmer and my non-verbals are improving.
3) I'm getting far better at deep diving as long as I'm talking alone.
Things I can improve
1) I still need to slow my speech and movements down.
2) My non-verbals still need to be stronger. I need to be able to project my intent without words.
3) I think I'm prepared to handle a guy that competes with my girl if he's a random guy.. With a wingman, I'm not sure how to handle that.
Realizations:
1) I need to make a rule with my wing in which whoever approaches owns the set.
2) I understand now how flakes work.
3) Once I can get a girl on a mini date, I think I can get a date in the bag.
8/17/13: My wing and I were planning on going to a new mall area to check for girls. We searched plenty of stores, but the mall was fairly vacant, and after about half an hour, we found nobody that looked approachable. After approaching a pretty looking Asian girl who happened to be twelve, my wing encountered a friend with his girlfriend Kat, whom we began to hang out with at Savers. We spent time playing pranks, making racist jokes, talking about how I got banned from the mall, and making sexual innuendos, and then I invited them to walk around with us.
Nev: Now with a group of four, my wing began to speak very well of me, telling our new friends that they need to see me in action. With my ego now inflated and growing, I spotted a girl walking into the dollar store. Seeing the opportunity immediately, I broke circle, ran up to her, and opened as I walked with her:
Me: "I wanted to come tell you before I lost the chance... I think you look super cute, and I had to come say hello!"
Her: "Oh haha, thank you!"
Me: "What's your name?"
Her: "Nev."
Me: "I'm AP!" (I shook her hand and held it until she pulled away.)
Her: "Nice to meet you!"
Me: "So are you headed to Burlington?"
Her: "Nope, I'm actually headed to the Dollar Tree to pick up stuff for a garage sale!"
Me: "Oh okay, so you basically buy stuff here for a dollar and then go home to sell it for more."
Her: "Basically, yeah!"
Me: "I've.... never been to a garage sale before... well, I've been to one, but I've never... you know, run one with my family before!"
Her: "Oh, okay!" (We both enter the Dollar Tree, and afterwards we begin standing face to face in front of the store.)
Me: "I'm totally leaving my friends for you by the way. I really hope they don't get mad at me!"
Her: "Oh no! You shouldn't do that! Haha, I'm crunched on time anyway."
Me: "Well, you're cute, and I wanted to come see if our personalities matched, so here I am! Can you tell me something interesting about yourself?"
Her: "Hmm... My family's from Serbia!"
Me: "Serbia? Wow, that's awesome! You'll be the first Serbian girl I've met. Is it beautiful there?"
Her: "Haha, I guess!"
Me: "I've always wanted to travel to Europe. I've never been there because I'm the only adventurous one in my family. My folks never like to go anywhere... How long have you been in the States?"
Her: "I've lived here my whole life actually. My family is from Serbia! It's like right next to Croatia."
Me: "Do all the girls in Serbia look like this? I would so move there if you said yes."
Her: "Haha! I don't know... I guess it depends on your preference."
Somehow along the way, she ended up mentioning that she had a boyfriend and she was short on time, but I don't remember how exactly that came about.
Me: "Okay, well, I don't want to keep you any longer, but I'd still love to get to know you better and see if our personalities click.. Do you want to stay in touch?"
Her: "Well... I think my boyfriend would get mad at that..."
Me: "How bout just facebook friends then?"
Her: "Sure!"
She entered her name into my phone, and then we parted ways.
Vesselina: When I went back to the group, my wing asked me how things went, and I told him that she had a boyfriend, but we would stay in touch on Facebook. We decided to go to Joanns, where Kat's mother and sister happened to be. I asked if her sister was single, and my wing asked if she was cute. She said yes to both, so I asked if it was okay if I hit on her sister, to which she replied that she didn't really care, and that her sister needed a boyfriend anyway.
When we got into the store, we found Vesselina with her mom, and I greeted both as we met them. It started out very awkward because I didn't find her attractive at first. I was also trying to get my wing to approach, because I was trying to get him to try his first set.
Me: "Hi, I'm AP!"
Mom: "Hi AP! I'm (name) and this is Vess."
Her: "Hi AP! Hi Kat! Long time no see."
Me: "What do you mean long time no see?"
Her: "I just got back. It's been a week since we saw each other!"
Me: "Oh, okay, awesome!"
*awkward pause*
Me: "So what are you guys shopping for?"
Her: "We're curtain shopping!"
Me: "Oh, I've never been curtain shopping before..."
Her: "Me neither!"
After a bit of awkward silence, I knew my wing wasn't gonna try anything, so I said "Fuck it" and moved to turn the interaction into something worth remembering.
Me: *to the mom* "I'm gonna be totally honest here... I think your daughter is super cute! Would it be okay with you if I talk with her?"
Mom: "Oh... Haha!"
Wing: "Whoa..."
Me: "What? I'm just being honest here."
Mom: "How old are you?"
Me: "I'm seventeen." (She makes the "okay, I'm considering it" gesture) *I smile* "Do I meet the requirements?"
Mom: "I think that's more up to her than me."
Me: *Back to girl* "How bout it? Do you want to walk and talk?"
Her: "Um... Sure!"
Me: "Cool! Let's walk over there then! This is my first time here, so I have no clue where I'm leading us by the way..."
Her: "That's fine! Haha!"
Me: "So anyway, now that we're here, can you tell me something interesting about you?"
Her: "Sure! Um... I like to ski a lot!"
Me: "Oh, cool! Not right now though, I'm assuming?"
Her: "Actually, I do ski right now! I just got back from a ski trip in Chicago."
Me: "Really? How? There's no snow!"
Her: "No! Haha, I do roller skiing!"
Me: "Roller skiing... I've never heard of that before."
Her: "Yeah, they're actually with my dad right now. I could show you later if you want!"
Me: "Do you think your dad would approve of me?"
Her: "Hmm... I'm not sure! Do you get good grades?"
Me: "I do... I'm also really good at acting like I'm some respectable young man!"
Her: "Hahaha! Oh my god! Where do you go to school?"
Me: "I go to Tartan."
Her: "So you go to the same school as (name of friend that I met today)."
Me: "Huh?"
Her: "(Name of friend that I met today).. you were with him.. remember?"
Me: "Ohhhh... Haha, I'm so horrible with names!"
Her: "What's my name?"
Me: "....What's MY name?"
Her: "Hahaha...... oh dang... um.... no, you've got me there."
Me: "Ha! So we're even then."
Her: "Let's see.... nope! Sorry!"
Me: "You're fine, really. So anyway, do you do anything else besides ski? Are you into music at all?"
Her: "Um.. sorta... I used to play the trombone in Elementary school. I also self taught myself guitar, but I kinda forgot it."
Me: "No..."
Her: "Yep!"
Me: "That's awesome! I'm a guitarist myself! Let me see your hand." (I begin to feel her left hand for callouses)
Her: "It's been a LONG long time..."
Me: "I can tell... Here, I want to show you something." *I pull out my keys from my pocket and hand them to her* "Do NOT run off with these."
Her: "Hahaha, I won't!"
Me: *I hand her a random Sears receipt before I get to my guitar pick, which I then hand to her and take back my keys* "This is my guitar pick. I have a habit of carrying one with me because I'm a dork like that."
Her: "Haha, okay, cool! Do you play acoustic or electric?"
Me: "They're the same thing really... I play electric mostly now, but I started on acoustic."
Her: "Oh really? Me too!"
Me: "Do you play electric now then?"
Her: "Not really.. My dad got my sister an electric guitar, but I think it's a size too small... Do guitars have sizes?" (At this point I ended up sitting myself down in a corner, to which she responded by sitting down on a ladder in front of me.)
Me: "I'm not really sure... I just found my uncle's old electric that he left behind when he left to move to Vietnam, so I just played that!"
Her: "Oh okay!"
Me: "I like playing electric more than acoustic because the neck is a lot narrower and the frets are spaced closer together... I'm an Asian guy, and my hands aren't as big as I'd like them to be."
Her: "Haha, I have big hands.."
Me: "Really? Let me see.." (We touched our hands together, and hers were slightly larger than mine.) "This makes me a bit insecure about my little Asian hands..."
Her: "Haha, sorry! Also, one of my hands are bigger than the other?"
Me: "What? No..."
Her: "It's true! See?" (She presses her hands together, and one is slightly larger than the other."
Me: "You sure it isn't just the fingernails?"
Her: "No! They're really bigger.. look!" *I sit up, cup her hands in mine, and examine them*
Me: "I think that's really cool. Maybe it's because you played guitar and one just got longer than the other for that."
Her: "Maybe... Or it's because of piano! I played for nine years."
Me: "Wow, really?"
Her: "Yeah... I suck though!" (This would have been a perfect opportunity to ask her if she swallows too)
Me: "Right... Every girl tells me they suck... They prove themselves wrong when I actually hear them play though!"
Her: "Well, I hardly ever practice! Too busy with skiing nowadays!"
Me: "I got you. The same thing happened to me."
Her: "Haha, I've tried out for soccer, lacrosse.... football... basketball, softball..."
Me: "You like playing with a lot of balls then?"
Her: "YEAH haha! I also tried out for hockey, but I was the only girl on the team, so I quit!"
Me: "Hahaha... you really have been all over haven't you... you even tried football!"
Her: "Yeah, but that was in Elementary school!"
Me: "Why'd you stop?"
Her: "Well, I ended up getting hurt... you see, the field was split into two parts... one with grass, and one with concrete..."
Me: "And you happened to fall on the concrete side."
Her: "Yes!"
Me: "Damn!!!!"
Her: "Yeah, that didn't feel good! Haha"
Me: "You're a person who isn't afraid to try new things though... I like it when people are like that. Most people will go on and on saying they hate this and that without ever giving things a chance... Look at you... You've tried everything!"
Her: "Mmmhmm.... Do you play any sports?"
Me: "Yeah I used to.... football (Imitating her)"
Her: "Really? Wow, I didn't see that at all!"
Me: "Yeah, I sorta got a bit too small for the sport."
Her: "No kidding!"
Me: "I was a lineman, and the linemen have gotten huge over the years. Plus... a knee injury kind of ended my career."
Her: "Ooohhh... I know what you mean about injuries... I've had like 5 surgeries so far... One for my ankle, one for my wrist, for my knee.. oh and two wisdom teeth taken out!"
Me: "Damn! Haha, my dad does acupuncture, so I sorta know how to fix some of this stuff."
Somehow, her and I got into a conversation about fear, but once again, I have no recollection of how this came about.
Her: "I'm afraid of spiders too!"
Me: "What else scares you?"
Her: "Let's see... heights... the ocean... I just feel like it'll pull me away... scary movies..."
Me: "No scary movie dates for you then huh?"
Her: "No... I've been on a movie date though!"
Me: "But not a scary movie."
Her: "No, we watched wolverine!"
Me: "Oh okay, how'd that go?"
Her: "It went well... Wait.. The movie or the guy?"
Me: "The guy! Haha, when a movie date goes well, you shouldn't remember what happened in the movie."
Her: "Hahaha, well... we kind of just went as friends. He was going into the military, so he didn't want to get involved with anyone..."
Me: "Oh, I see... Personally, I hate movie dates."
Her: "Why's that?"
Me: "Well, I'm a real talky kind of person... I like communication, and I'll talk to just about anyone if I see a reason that I want to... That's why I was so comfortable telling you I thought you were cute and talking to you..."
Her: "Haha, I can see that!"
Me: "And movie dates... they don't allow room for conversation... know what I mean?"
Her: "I understand haha! We sorta knew each other at the time though... he and I did 10 hours of volunteer work at a fair!"
Me: "Well, even so, I prefer coffee dates so I can get to know the person a little better."
Her: "I see!"
*pause*
Me: "Hey, I didn't want to ask you this in front of your mom, so before she comes back... do you want to meet up and grab some coffee sometime?"
Her: "Sure! I'd love to!"
Me: "Awesome! How can I contact you then?"
Her: "Do you have a phone?"
Me: "I do."
Her: "Okay, what's your number?" *I give her my number* "This isn't gonna be a rejection number is it?"
Me: "Nah, I asked you right?"
Her: "Okay.. and what's your name?"
Me: "(Give her my name.) A lot of people would pay to have that kind of information, so don't just give it to anyone okay?"
Her: "Haha, I could have sworn that we went over my name, but not yours... Or maybe I just forgot!"
Me: "You probably just forgot... Or I'm just being a jackass about this so that we stay even!"
Her: "Haha, okay, I'm gonna text you right now..."
*texts "Sup it's V-dawg"*
Me: "Got it! Do I save your number as V-Dawg though?"
Her: "Or Vess... I don't care really... Here, I'll send you my full name. It's Vessalina!"
Me: "Maybe that's why I had trouble with it. You're the first Vessalina I've met! Like Vasaline?" (Not smart to play word games with her name.. I'll avoid that in the future..)
Her: "Yes.. You probably got it mixed up with Vanessa, I get that a LOT... and yes, I get that a LOT too." (I could tell I stung her a bit.)
Me: "I want to make sure I'm pronouncing that right. Otherwise I'd feel like a total douche."
Her: "Haha, it's Vessalina!"
Me: "Vasalina?"
Her: "Vessalina."
Me: "Vess...a..lina.."
Her: "There ya go!"
Me: "Can you make sure it's spelled right?"
Her: "Sure! Oohh... Let me fix that.."
Me: "What language is your name?"
Her: "My parents are from Bulgaria!"
Me: "Oh really? You're the first Bulgarian girl I've ever met then!"
Her: "Haha, thank you!"
My wing, her sister, and my new friend suddenly appeared with her dad, whom I waved to.
Me: "Have you guys been spying on us?"
Wing: "Kinda haha!"
Me: "Roman, how much time do we have?"
Wing: "I don't know.. que hora es?"
Me: "It's... 6:50.. Yeah we don't have a whole lot of time, do we?"
Her: "Do you speak fluent Spanish?"
Me: "Only enough to give you the worst conversation you've ever had..." *to Roman* "She's about to show me her roller skis though.. Can I see them before we go?"
Wing: "Sure. As long as I still get a ride home!"
Me: "Cool... Oh hang on.. someone's calling me.."
I had a conversation in Vietnamese on the phone with my mom while we were walking out.
Me: "You now have just heard my Vietnamese."
Her: "I could tell! Haha!"
Me: "You could tell what I was speaking was Vietnamese? How? Haha!"
Her: "Well, you mentioned earlier that your uncle moved to Vietnam, and you're Asian... so I put two and two together!"
Me: "Smart!" *I turned to the dad as we reached the car* "What's your name?"
Dad: "I'm (name)"
Me: "I'm AP! Nice to meet you!" *I shake his hand firmly*
Dad: *To Vessalina* "I think your mom has the keys.. sorry.."
Her: "Really? Okay... Well... I guess I can just send you a picture later then!"
Me: "Sounds good to me!"
Her: "And then meet up.. and coffee!"
Me: "Perfect! What's your schedule look like later on?"
Her: "Um... I don't know.. Just text me!"
Me: "Okay, will do. Hug goodbye?"
Her: "Sure!"
And so, we hugged and parted ways. Later though, we texted back and forth for a good while.
---
Me: "Hey vesselina
so you seemed to me like a caramel cooler kind of person, but I wasn't sure. Am I close?"Her: "I'm not sure, I actually don't drink much coffee. But what I have had is french vanilla late
" *sends me a picture of her posing with the roller ski*Me: "I don't either. To be honest, I normally grab green tea there
"Me: "Btw, awesome roller ski
"Her: "I heard green tea is super healthy for you, and prevents cancer! Which is always a plus
"Me: "Lmao i'm a bit obsessed with nutrition and that kind of stuff... I actually think it's really awesome that somebody besides me knows that! Also, before I forget, what's your schedule look like next week?"
Her: "Haha, yeah. I"m kinda a nutrition freak too. I'm off of work on Wednesday and friday, and Monday after work."
Me: "That explains it
how does monday at one or wednesday at six thirty work for you?"Her: "Does that work?"
Me: "Those two times work for me... I'm the one asking you if it works
"Her: "I think Wednesday at 6:30 works best, cus work ends at 4 for me"
Me: "It's a date
where do I pick you up?"Her: "I was thinking we could meet there, and if things workout, then you could pick me up from my house other times... that ok?"
Me: "Fine by me
let's say... the (location of date)"Her: "Okay, I'll see ya there at 6:30 on Wednesday"
---
My wing was super excited as we walked to my car, and decided that he wanted to try a set. We decided to stop by a mall for a quick session, but he refused to approach girls with their moms around though, so I ended up approaching a girl as we got into Kohls.. She had a boyfriend though, so it was too short to learn anything from.
Ashley: As we walked, I tried to nudge him to go approach a girl, but he wouldn't budge... We ended up passing a gorgeous blonde, and since he wouldn't budge, I felt it was a total waste not going up to her. I went in instead.
Me: "Hey, I saw you while I was walking, and I wanted to come tell you before I lost the chance that I thought you looked absolutely adorable!"
Her: "Oh thank you! Haha"
Me: "What's your name?"
Her: "Ashley."
Me: "I'm AP!" *I shook her hand and held until she pulled away.* "So now that I'm here, I think I'll just put you on the spot right away. Can you tell me something interesting about yourself?"
Her: "Um... I'm a dancer!"
Wing: "Really? Yes! Something I can relate to! You see I'm in theatre and..." (He basically butt in to steal my set. Rude and uncalled for, but I can see where he was coming from. I also wanted to see what he would do.) "...So yeah, I love that kind of stuff."
Me: "How'd you get into dancing in the first place?" (I tried to take my set back. He had been unwilling to approach in the first place, but I suppose I could have been a bit more generous.)
Her: "Well, my grandma took me to my first lesson when I was three."
Me: "Oh, okay, and then you kept at it for this long."
Her: "Yep! That's sort of how it went... Haha!"
Me: "How does it feel when you're dancing?"
Her: "Good I guess!"
Wing: "I know I love the feeling when I'm acting. It's just like taking out all your anger!"
Her: "Yeah I know right?"
Me: "It's the same with me and guitar.. Here, hold this *I give her my keys* ...Do NOT run off with my keys..."
Her: "Haha!"
Me: "Here we go!" *I hand her my guitar pick*
Me: "Do you do anything else?"
Her: "Let's see.. dancing.. softball.. I'm also a cheerleader!"
Wing: "Oh really? Wow!!! We don't have cheerleaders here!"
Me: "You're clearly not from around here then... Where are you from?"
Her: "I'm not.. Do you know where Duluth is?"
Me: "I do... Far far away form this lonely place right?"
Her: "Haha, yes!"
Me: "So what brings you all the way over here? Oh... hang on, I got a call. Roman, entertain her."
My dad ended up interrupting my set by calling to see where I was. As I spoke to him in Vietnamese, Roman continued talking with the girl, but I didn't hear how it all went.
Me: "Sorry, my dad called. I can't spend the night anymore."
Wing: "What? Awww.."
Her: *drops my guitar pick* "Oops..."
Me: "Did you just drop my pick? Oh hell no... Now we can't be friends anymore."
Her: "Sorry! Haha!"
Me: "You're fine. Roman, I think we should go before we're late."
The conversation ended with her giving us both our numbers, but with the way we fought for her attention and didn't deep dive, I anticipated a a flake from her... No text back, and I'm not surprised.
Overall, I'd say that was a very productive day. I was able to break a significant plateau, and now I have a date on Wednesday
Things I did well:
1) I got the mini date, and successfully arranged an actual date.
2) I've become a lot calmer and my non-verbals are improving.
3) I'm getting far better at deep diving as long as I'm talking alone.
Things I can improve
1) I still need to slow my speech and movements down.
2) My non-verbals still need to be stronger. I need to be able to project my intent without words.
3) I think I'm prepared to handle a guy that competes with my girl if he's a random guy.. With a wingman, I'm not sure how to handle that.
Realizations:
1) I need to make a rule with my wing in which whoever approaches owns the set.
2) I understand now how flakes work.
3) Once I can get a girl on a mini date, I think I can get a date in the bag.
