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LR-  First Date with a Nurse

Grand Pooba

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 6, 2012
Messages
1,458
"You know exactly how to touch me and get me excited..."
"You're really, really good in bed...I know you're going to satisfy me."
"Thank you for being here. No, really...thank you SO MUCH for letting me release myself. I needed that."

I was in her bed at 3am in her apartment, I'd been there for the last seven hours and she was chasing me HARD. She delivered compliment after compliment, and was offering to cook me dinner, breakfast, make tea...anything I wanted. Without asking she got on my back and started giving me a massage. I was tired, and she was wide awake and wanted more.

This one's going to be fun to write.

I haven't been as active in learning and practicing seduction these days, as my professional life is keeping me quite occupied as I get that in order. I've been very selectively approaching women and have had a date or two every week this month. Most haven't gone anywhere; I've learned from them but haven't written about them--I haven't been pushing to obsession like I was before. I did notice a couple of patterns, and made a drastic experimental change with this date that ended up to my benefit.

I was playing chess with an uncle the other night and even though for most of the game he was pushing me around and I was struggling with what to do, about halfway through I noticed a gap in his defense and exploited it, eventually cornering him and winning the game from behind. We were talking about chess later and how people generally get upset over losing, either during the game or at the end, and it tends to heighten emotions in most. But he remarked that the fun in chess is not in the outcome, but the process of the game. It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, but do you run the process of your strategy properly and effectively, and do you have fun with it?

It got me thinking about my life...I've been following a very goal oriented approach with dating thus far. If X or Y doesn't happen by Z time, or if I can't convince her to do something in this way, then it's a lost cause in my mind. This is a very goal oriented approach, and recently I've thought....what if I remove the goal mindset and just have fun with the process? What if I keep playing and don't actually worry about what happens? I've also noticed I tend to get more interest and investment with the women I don't care as much about meeting (Big surprise...).

The other change...I decided that this time, I'm going to experiment with making myself very open and vulnerable, but again with no goal in mind, just to stir the pot. What will happen if I create an atmosphere where I reveal intimate details about myself, sexually and with relationships, and she feels comfortable doing the same?

So I went into this date not wanting to go home with her. I was just in the mood to get to know her and have some fun. And though she didn't want to go home initially, I kept playing, and I ended up in her bed for a good 16 hours, Saturday evening into Sunday morning.

The Good:
- Goallessness
- Portrayed myself as a sexual, vulnerable, and byronic man quite unintentionally
- Led her through different venues and didn't stop at initial resistance
- Gave her an amazing time in the bedroom, and she went from being a reserved cub to a sex-crazed lionness and I sometimes felt like I couldn't keep up. She complimented me over and over on being great in bed and had three powerful orgasms with zero penetration, then proceeded to tell me this is the most she's had. Oh, just you wait girl...

The Bad:
- Had Performance Anxiety and corresponding ED multiple times over the night. Really built up anticipation but couldn't get over a mental block with her.
- Felt bad about not having full sex with her even though she really, really wanted it. She was very tight and I couldn't get it in without losing my erection. We didn't have lube.

This one looks and FEELS like it's going to turn into a FWB.

Meeting the Nurse

I go to this meetup group a couple of times a week in the city. It's about sexuality and there's always interesting and very attractive women to meet there, some which come regularly and some whom are new each time (a new pot of women to pick from every time is incredible). We were participating in the group's activities, and there are games that they play, one of which is when the leader asks a general question and everyone goes around an answers it. A question came up: "What do you really like in sex?" It came around to me and I said to the group in a very sexual voice, "I...really...like...when a girl grabs my ass and scratches...my...back..."

Why is this important? Well, at the very end of the meeting the leader goes around the room and has everyone share a feeling or sentiment about someone else in the room, free of judgement and completely confidential. I didn't even notice this girl (she was new), but she picked me and said this: "You, over there in the yellow shirt...yup...when you said that you like how a girl grabs your ass and scratches your back...I was imagining myself as the person doing that to you." I smiled her way and said "thank you!" and the game moved onto the next person.

She's tall 5'8", 27 years old I later found out, seems fit with long skinny legs and a bubbly ass, and had a really unique hairstyle. I found out later she used to be a track runner.

At the very end people have about twenty minutes to socialize before they kick everyone out. I had already met a different girl "BB" with whom I wanted to go on an insta-date with (and did), and so I told BB to "wait by the door, I'm just going to say bye to some friends" while I went and approached this new girl. She was talking to three other people, but I stood on the side socializing with someone else while I waited for my opportunity. I made my way in and complimented her on her great hairstyle, and we introduced ourselves. Two of the people in the circle left, leaving me, the nurse (I didn't know she's a nurse at the time), and a third girl "CC" whom I'd also met that evening. We started bantering, I found out she's moved up from South Florida recently. I engaged her on her life there. The three of us then discussed movie stars we find attractive and would like to go home with. Nurse said Leo DiCaprio, and when it came to me I replied "you know, you read my mind, I was thinking EXACTLY the same thing..." causing both of them to buckle in laughter. Anyway, I had her put in her number and spell out her name, and then I hugged her tight, and also hugged CC tight but kissed her on the cheek.

Then I went on an instant date with BB. Hahaha. Too bad though, that one doesn't seem to be going anywhere and probably because I mucked it up.

Setting Up the Date

Texting:
<DAY OF, 1/20>
ME 2327: Hi <Nurse>, nice meeting a fellow Leo DiCaprio fan...save my number. -Ozzo :)
HER 2341: LOL! NICE TO MEET YOU AS WELL! LOOKING FORWARD TO SOME COFFEE! :)
ME 2356: Cool :) have a good night.
HER 0102: Good night! :)
<NEXT DAY 1/21>
ME 2030: Hey <Nurse>, hope you're enjoying the snowstorm :)...thinking we should grab that coffee soon, how's your schedule looking?
HER 2046: Hey Ozzo! How are you? I only went out for groveries and stayed in. The snow is serious!!!! Don't really like it! So, I work at night and sleep during the day (my secret vampire life). I'll be off this weekend though
ME 2140: I'm great, you? A vampire life...so if you're a night owl, what sorts of adventures do you get into? This weekend works, how about Friday evening or Saturday afternoon?
HER 0011: Im good! My adventures are never really consistent some I moved here. But most have been about improving and challenging myself as a person. Sat afternoon I can do!
<NEXT DAY 1/22>
ME 1056: Oh, you mean they've become more spontaneous since moving here? It's great to add a little spice and improvement in life...how do you do it? Hmm...4 on Sat? My favorite spot is XX Cafe on 9th and 2nd, unless the coffee fiend in you has a great place in mind :).
HER 1607: I put myself out there by going to meetups that I found interesting. Made friends, those friends inviting me to places, partying. Its kinda crazy how its all coming together.
HER 1608: 4 is perfect for sat! It will be a nice place for me to try out! :)
ME 1752: Haha, I'm curious to hear more about how all this is coming together for you. So I guess we will see each other Saturday. :)
HER 1856: Yes! I'm looking forward to it! :)
<NEXT DAY 1/23>
HER 0913: Have a fuzzily warm day! :) (and yes I make up my own words at times) <This came out of the blue and was unwarranted, she took out time to message me out of nowhere. So strong attraction on her part?>
ME 1439: Hahaha...fuzzily, how eccentric :), stay dry missy! What other words have you made?
HER 2209: The funny thing is that I don't ever use the words again and so I forget them lol!
ME 2352: So I should expect a new dictionary of South Florida twang and New York swag on Saturday?
HER 0000: Lol!!! Yea something like that!
ME 0015: Oh boy, it sounds revolutionary.
ME 0016: We can raid a school later and teach kids what we've learned.
<SATURDAY 1/25>
ME 1144: <NURSE> - hope you're enjoying time off. When you get to XX Cafe I'll meet you by the front door :). <my anti-flake text>
HER 1331: Ok.

Date at Coffee Shop - 1/25, 4:00pm

I ran late and told her I'm running ten minutes late, and she replied quickly and said she's there and will wait by the door. When we met we hugged with a cheek kiss and then walked to the back of the cafe and sat facing each other. We were there for I'd estimate about two hours and had a coffee each.

Lots of deep diving and conversation. The vibe felt very awkward in the first fifteen minutes, there were awkward pauses and I could also tell this girl was pretty nervous. But after it picked up first hour was very calm and normal, so to speak. By the end there was a hint of tension. She talked about her work and moving to this city and what it's like, and I shared my own stories. It's funny too, she wanted to be my profession a long time ago and shared why she hated it, and near the end of our date I divulged that I do that thing, and she was shocked and mystified. She burst out laughing.

I found out here that she's a nurse, has been in this city for ten months, and she lives in an apartment all by herself. She wanted this because in college she lived at home with family. I also found out that she just broke up with a boyfriend one month ago and is still reeling over that experience and missing him. He hurt her, and he wasn't really that good sexually from what it sounded like. To get over it she's also been experimenting with putting herself out there more by going to meetups and trying new things, and shared a story about how she went out with a friend the same night we met and asked three guys to make out with her, and they all turned her down for different reasons because it came off so strongly. This was a good laugh...for me, anyway.

We talked about where we met and that meet up group, and what it's like to go there. This was a good opportunity for some sexual frames. I forgot most but this one stuck out:

HER: My friend and I came to that meetup together.
ME: So you like coming together?
HER: HAHAHA...I mean I like coming to these things.
ME: It doesn't matter if it's together...as long as you come?
HER: <nervous laugh>...mayyyyyybeeee...
ME: That's good, you won't see the benefits of it...unless you COME ;-)

I asked her a little while using a YES ladder if she'd like to continue hanging out, and then suggested we go back to her place for a nightcap or just to chill. She said no, that her place is really messy and it would be rude. I persisted three times and she refused over and over. I then told her it's no big deal at all, I'm having a really good time with her and I would invite her to mine, but I live very far away and with family so that's a no-go.

The coffee date lasted another fifteen minutes before I said we should go. She had mentioned she could intuitively see what I wanted with her, and I told her that no, I don't really care what happens, I'm having a good time regardless of us going home. I persisted again to get her to her place, but she said she's nervous and doesn't feel that open with me in that way. No problem missy, another time!

Moving to a Hookah Lounge, 6:00pm

So right after we left the cafe, we stood outside for about a minute. I asked her what she was doing now, and she said she doesn't really have plans for a while. I said I'm probably going to go to a hookah lounge, and proposed that she join me. She accepted, and we started walking two blocks to the lounge.

NOTE: A MONTH BEFORE, I WOULD HAVE QUIT HERE. THIS TIME I TRIED TO CONTINUE PLAYING. IT WORKED.

Halfway on the way there I just grabbed her hand and interlocked my fingers into hers like we're a couple. She noticed this:

HER: Are you trying to hold my hand?
ME: I just did.

She didn't motion to take it away or anything. But as soon as this happened she also commented...

HER: you know, you seem like a very open person. Maybe sexually, even.
ME: Perhaps...are you?
HER: I guess I'm reserved about doing it, but I'm pretty open to talking about sex.
ME: Oh, great!! I guess I know what we're talking about at this hookah lounge. So tell me more about <XX>...
The walk over was fine, the vibe felt good. I amped it up a notch in this moment. We were at an intersection waiting to cross as cars passed, and I just looked at her dead in the eye and went in for a spontaneous kiss while she was mid sentence, and grabbed her and pulled her into me. She first laughed out loud in position, then slowly her lips met mine. We embraced for a few seconds and then continued walking across the street.

ME: I just felt like doing that, so I did.

Inside the hookah lounge was where the tension definitely ramped up. We sat down and ordered, and pretty much immediately started to dive into very sexual conversation. I don't remember too much of the details at this point or the flow, but I'll try to cover the more interesting tidbits.
Basically, we dived into talking about sex very openly. I asked her about her experiences and she asked about mine, and I divulged what I felt like. This was interspersed with random kissing, and as we were also doing hookah I taught her how to shotgun (where you meet open lips and pass smoke into the other person's mouth). I asked her how she liked to be kissed, how she liked to be touched, how and where she felt most sensitive in her body. As we were doing this I was demonstrating and better understanding it by caressing her hand and arm, and upper thigh, and asking if that's what she meant. She asked the same of me and demonstrated as well with sensual touch on my palm and hand.

All of this was creating a lot of sexual tension between us.

This was also an opportunity to be a byronic, sexual man. I shared some stories of amazing sex and encounters, and ones that ended and went quite poorly. I became very vulnerable as I opened up to my sexual fantasies and fears, and my experiences with some other women (ex-gfs, etc). I also told her that I don't like judgment and jealousy, and am glad that she doesn't seem to be the type.

A funny exchange:

HER: Do you think size matters?
ME: Well, don't you think you're a better caliber of judging that?
HER: Haha, well, I think what matters is hitting the right spot.
ME: Yeah, there are a lot of different angles you can hit and certain ways to apply pressure to the right ones in the right rhythm. I don't think size matters as much as knowing what to do with what you have. HER: I agree
ME: So what spots do you like hit, and what positions do that for you?

About 45 minutes into being at the lounge, there was this pause between us. My hand was around her back, she was looking at me and I was looking at the ground. After a minute of silence she asks me:

HER: Why are you so quiet and staring into the abyss? Everything ok?
<Long extended pause>
ME: Hmm...well...I'm not sure if I should say it...
HER: Just say it! It's cool!
ME: Well...<look at her dead in the eye> honestly, I want to rip you apart right now, and I can't. There's people watching.
HER: Haha, well, we could do some stuff even though they're around.
ME: I don't think they'd want to see what we'd probably get into...

The conversation continues on sex, but there's a clear tension and we're both running out of things to say and do. I then motion her:

ME: Would you like a massage? I give pretty damn good massages.
HER: Yeah, I'd like that!
ME: Okay, great, then come sit on my lap. It'll be better that way.
HER: Umm...hold on...let me go to the bathroom first.

She goes to the bathroom and comes back five minutes later, and says very directly:

HER: Okay, let's go to my place.
ME: Umm...ok, cool.

We ask for and pay the bill and don't say much to each other in that time. When we're walking out we're holding hands again and there's some tension and awkwardness in the air.

Moving to Her Place, 7:00pm

So she lived about forty-five minutes away from where we had coffee. This amount of time is somewhat normal for where I live, because the city is massive and the subways are slow. That meant I had to be pretty good at handling the transition. I'd created a pretty sexual atmosphere at the hookah lounge, and now it was more of a question of maintaining her comfort into when we arrived to where she lived.
On the first subway she asked me how adventurous I am, and I gave a pretty disappointing response. I changed it then by sharing a sexual story, and told her about a gf with whom I had sex in an elevator in pretty intimate detail. This got her curious and also made her laugh a little, and she shared one of her own sexual stories - at the beach and in the water. The conversation died a little bit and I tried hand holding again but felt an atmosphere of resistance. As we waited for the train I put my arms around her waist facing her, about to kiss, but then she pulled back. I kissed on the cheek and continued on another topic. I felt a bit of tension, but also something dying between us. In the second train:

ME: You seem pretty nervous, you're okay with this?
HER: Well, yea, I am pretty nervous...this is new and fast.
ME: I totally get it. At the hookah lounge we talked about a massage, so when we're back at yours I'll just give you a nice massage. If you want more, we can do that, but if you don't that's totally cool with me and I'll leave.
HER: Yeah, that sounds good.

We bantered now about work and passions and interests. About halfway through the ride I interlocked my hand with hers, but noticed she wasn't reciprocating. I talked to her more casually (nonsexual) and shared some laughs while I gently caressed the same hand, and flipped between interlocking and caressing. Over time her reciprocation grew stronger and by the time we got off she was holding onto me with the same pressure. It took about five minutes to walk up to her place from her station.

At Her Place, 8:00pm

About five minutes after getting there we'd already taken off our jackets and what not, and I went in for a manhandle kiss as we were standing and she gave me water to drink. We moved to her room where she and I both made ourselves comfortable by taking off most of our clothes. Even though it seemed like she wanted to go right into hooking up, I flipped her on her back and said "time for that massage." I gave her a long, extended massage and over the course of it she started to moan, which became more and more pronounced. Midway she told me to remove her shirt and undo her bra so she can get more comfortable. After 20 or 25 minutes I flipped her over and we started making out and clothes began to come off.

Long story short, we hooked up about five times before I left the next day. I experimented with a lot of different things, and since she'd already divulged what she likes in bed I used that to my advantage. I really mixed it up...there were moments were it was really intense passionate and rough, and there were moments where I made it light and sensual, really exploring her body.

Her demeanor changed dramatically through the night. At 8pm, she was still reserved and getting comfortable. I was doing virtually all the work. By 3am, she'd turned into a nymphomaniac and had completely released herself, and I was just laying back while she was getting herself off with my body, and I was doing barely any work.

She really wanted penetrative sex, and I couldn't bring myself to an erection consistently. There were moments of extreme hardness, but also many moments of nothing. I'm gaining a better understanding now (through repeated failure) of my mental thought process in this moment, but I still haven't figured out how to break the cycle. The clincher is always reaching for a condom, which seems to trigger feelings of paranoia about losing an erection (which then inevitably happens). I think I also need someone trusting enough to handle this--to truly feel like she won't judge me for something like that.

But my god, this girl was a beauty...really nice ass, slender figure, very sensitive all over, and I could play her in so many different ways. She was also a girl that took charge of her pleasure sometimes and really worked herself against me and my pelvis and then got herself off.

We didn't even have sex, but the compliments rolled in over and over again as the night went on:
"You're really, really good in bed."
"Thank you for being here, I don't know how to pay you back for what you've done for me."
"I know you're going to satisfy me, you're just the right size and you know how to turn me on"
"I'm so turned on, I'm going crazy in anticipation because I want you inside me SO BAD"
"Your body is amazing, how do you keep so fit?"
"You're really strong and sensual, you know how to touch me and get me going"
There were a few more but I told her to stop after a while, and we laughed over that. I hadn't even fucked her and she was going wild. Wow.

And then they were followed with services:
"Do you want dinner? Let me grab my laptop and I'll get something for you"
"Do you want breakfast in the morning? How about eggs and a bagel?"
"Do you want tea or juice? I'll get it for you."

I now understand what GirlsChase is all about. It's creating this atmosphere, where they're fucking satisfied, where you've been a strong dominant and sexual man and they just WANT to make you feel good too, because you instilled that amazing feeling in them in so many ways.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to more with her, it'll be very good learning and experimentation.

There were times when I had an erection and went in for penetration with a condom, but couldn't fit anything past the head before losing it due to my anxiety and loss of focus. She's pretty tight and we didn't have any lube either. I tried five times that night and failed each time. I think condoms trigger this trauma, and I don't know how to break the cycle. Lucky for me this girl was VERY patient and comforting, saying she's seen it before and understands completely that I might need some time to get comfortable and open myself up. I thanked her for reading into me that way.

Between sessions she ordered food for us, which she paid for, and brought me water. The third session stands out the most...she just opened up and turned into a FREAK. After that she was wide awake and couldn't sleep, and started massaging me and doing yoga on my back while I tried to pass out.

Leaving, 12:00pm the next morning

We had another round in the morning and she got herself off on me again. I got up to change into my clothes around 11 and she put on a nightgown and watched and commented. Before I left, she offered me tea, so I stayed a little longer and we just hung out. She told me that even though we didn't have intercourse, she got off three times and that's more than with anyone else she's been with. How funny is that? It seems she'd like to hang out again and offered Thursday or Friday this week. I told her I'm a really busy guy, but we'll see, and I'd like to see her again.

If I can just get over my mental block and my panic with condom and erections, I would kill these women...what do I need to do?
 

Whizzy

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jan 8, 2013
Messages
676
Hey ozzo, have you read the article that was put up a few months back regarding the issue of performance anxiety? Its natural to go a little soft when reaching for a condom, so don't be afraid to "ask for a hand" then get back to business ;) The girls dont seem to mind and extra compliance never hurts either.
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

Hector Papi Castillo

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 2, 2013
Messages
2,592
Ozzo,

You're a boss. I loved this entire interaction. You quickly recovered from every mistake with persistence and diversity. We talk about intercourse being the greatest hook a guy can give to a girl, but in some rare cases when you've got your vibe and generally sexuality locked down, even a LR- can hook a girl. I recently had an experience just like this "LR-:Tinder Girl" and we'll both find out if LR-s are enough to keep a girl coming back, but I'm very confident we'll both succeed. When a girl is hurling compliments at you despite no intercourse and offering you things, you know you've hit the next level of seduction. "

Though it's a bit risky, did you ask her if you could penetrate her condom-less for just a few seconds to work past the anxiety and then put on a condom? I've done that a few times and it works; you realize that she wants you, you want her, and there's nothing to worry about, and then you give her the time of her life.


Ozzo said:
HER: Why are you so quiet and staring into the abyss? Everything ok?
<Long extended pause>
ME: Hmm...well...I'm not sure if I should say it...
HER: Just say it! It's cool!
ME: Well...<look at her dead in the eye> honestly, I want to rip you apart right now, and I can't. There's people watching.
HER: Haha, well, we could do some stuff even though they're around.
ME: I don't think they'd want to see what we'd probably get into...

This was my absolute favorite. Sexual frames, vulnerability frames, all of it - she accepted it and even suggested public affection. If i were you and in the adventurous mood, I'd see what we could get away with in public and maybe even go for bathroom sex.



You've set up a chase frame with her wanting a second meeting and made yourself scarce. I suggest that for performance anxiety, if you masturbate at all, do it while you imagine yourself penetrating a girl from a first person perspective. It's exactly like visualizing any other performance and you build a comfort with a mental replica of first person sex (as opposed to porn).

Really great stuff, Ozzo! Keep it up, my friend!
 

Grand Pooba

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 6, 2012
Messages
1,458
Whizzy said:
Hey ozzo, have you read the article that was put up a few months back regarding the issue of performance anxiety? Its natural to go a little soft when reaching for a condom, so don't be afraid to "ask for a hand" then get back to business ;) The girls dont seem to mind and extra compliance never hurts either.

Whizzy,

I have read it a couple of times. I think for me it's a little more complicated than just that. I was watching porn (though infrequently...once a month) until not too long ago and while it's been almost two months and I'm completely done with it, I'm still going through the flatline and recovery. My libido is still pretty low but I can feel it improve every week, and I've started feeling sensations of being turned on from simply looking at a girl or holding her hand.

In addition to that, and more relevant to the article, I've started to understand the thought cycle my brain is getting into, and using the article I'm going to work to change that. It's very deep rooted for me so it's probably going to take a couple more failures and girls to get there, but I'm confident in it.

Thanks for your comment.

Anatman said:
Though it's a bit risky, did you ask her if you could penetrate her condom-less for just a few seconds to work past the anxiety and then put on a condom? I've done that a few times and it works; you realize that she wants you, you want her, and there's nothing to worry about, and then you give her the time of her life.

Anatman,

I did suggest this and she wasn't down. I've done this before with some girls, though.

Anatman said:
If i were you and in the adventurous mood, I'd see what we could get away with in public and maybe even go for bathroom sex.

I thought about it but then she invited me home...I'll take a bed and staying the night over a bathroom any day ;-).

Anatman said:
You've set up a chase frame with her wanting a second meeting and made yourself scarce. I suggest that for performance anxiety, if you masturbate at all, do it while you imagine yourself penetrating a girl from a first person perspective. It's exactly like visualizing any other performance and you build a comfort with a mental replica of first person sex (as opposed to porn).

Really great stuff, Ozzo! Keep it up, my friend!

I saw this girl briefly yesterday at the meetup and basically she seems down for a NSA FWB situation for a while. I even said "let's watch a movie on friday" and she gave me shit for it, so I changed it to "okay, well maybe we'll just hang out ;-)" and she was down with that plan. Good stuff.

I'm not masturbating these days either while I reboot from the porn induced ED, and that includes not fantasizing or visualizing. My penis has zero sensation at times...it's a weird feeling.

Thank you for reading my FR and your comment, Anatman. I really appreciate the positivity!
 

TheWiseFool

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 28, 2013
Messages
290
Ozzo,

I have class in two minutes but this has been a great read and I haven't gotten to the meat of it yet. If you don't mind, I'd like to quote your bit about chess and put that in my journal.

Will finish this later,
- The Wise Fool
 

Marty

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,525
Hey Ozzo:

First of all I wanted to say that I just read the whole thing through and couldn't find a single mistake! Found lots of impressive moments, though.

I fundamentally agree with you on this:

ozzo said:
I was playing chess with an uncle the other night and even though for most of the game he was pushing me around and I was struggling with what to do, about halfway through I noticed a gap in his defense and exploited it, eventually cornering him and winning the game from behind. We were talking about chess later and how people generally get upset over losing, either during the game or at the end, and it tends to heighten emotions in most. But he remarked that the fun in chess is not in the outcome, but the process of the game. It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, but do you run the process of your strategy properly and effectively, and do you have fun with it?
That's the attitude I've always taken to most of my life. Funnily enough, though, I've never considered it in relation to the female sex. Since you seem to think it applies here too, I'll maybe give it a go as well.

Sorry to hear about this "softness" issue, that must be frustrating and embarrassing. I sympathize. I'm not sure how old you are... I used to be much stronger as a young man than I am now, I can usually only manage intercourse twice or at an absolute maximum three times a week these days, very often much less. But I'm not sure whether that would change if I had a variety of females at my disposal ;) Recently I read this article that you might find helpful.

But I don't want to dwell on the negative, I'd like to emphasize how impressed I am that you moved everything forward so smartly and efficiently and caused this particular female such delight and excitement!! :))

I also have a lot of admiration for how you managed to turn a social situation into a sexual opportunity. I get awfully flustered if presented with social obligations (e.g. having to laugh at others' stupid jokes, responding to interruptions etc.) when there are attractive females around—probably the main reason why I prefer daytime cold approach, you don't have to fuss about the social aspect :) I certainly wish I had your ability in group environments!

Now take good care of your new-found lover and I hope you get the opportunity soon to give her an even deeper level of satisfaction. See a doctor if you need to, it's such an important aspect of your enjoyment of life that it's not worth suffering with it.

Well done! I'm happy for you :))

-Marty
 

Pato

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 3, 2013
Messages
109
Ozzo,

Very nice job here. It sucks that you're having problems getting and staying hard. But you still left her satisfied, which is always really good.

Inside the hookah lounge was where the tension definitely ramped up. We sat down and ordered, and pretty much immediately started to dive into very sexual conversation. I don't remember too much of the details at this point or the flow, but I'll try to cover the more interesting tidbits.
Basically, we dived into talking about sex very openly. I asked her about her experiences and she asked about mine, and I divulged what I felt like. This was interspersed with random kissing, and as we were also doing hookah I taught her how to shotgun (where you meet open lips and pass smoke into the other person's mouth). I asked her how she liked to be kissed, how she liked to be touched, how and where she felt most sensitive in her body. As we were doing this I was demonstrating and better understanding it by caressing her hand and arm, and upper thigh, and asking if that's what she meant. She asked the same of me and demonstrated as well with sensual touch on my palm and hand.

All of this was creating a lot of sexual tension between us.

This was also an opportunity to be a byronic, sexual man. I shared some stories of amazing sex and encounters, and ones that ended and went quite poorly. I became very vulnerable as I opened up to my sexual fantasies and fears, and my experiences with some other women (ex-gfs, etc). I also told her that I don't like judgment and jealousy, and am glad that she doesn't seem to be the type.

I loved this. Very well done on getting to sexual topics and getting physical with her. That should make her a lot more comfortable with the escalating and moving so fast. Without a lot of this sexual talk, I think it's very possible that you would've gotten a ton of LMR. Setting the non-judgmental and non-jealousy frames is always a good idea. You did really well throughout the whole interaction. And I second Anatman's comment on wanting to rip her apart, that was brilliant.

Nicely done, and good luck with her in the future.

-Pato
 

Grand Pooba

Tribal Elder
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Messages
1,458
Marty and Pato,

Thanks for the kind words and support! Glad you enjoyed it. Pretty sure I enjoyed it more, though ;-).

Marty said:
Sorry to hear about this "softness" issue, that must be frustrating and embarrassing. I sympathize. I'm not sure how old you are... I used to be much stronger as a young man than I am now, I can usually only manage intercourse twice or at an absolute maximum three times a week these days, very often much less. But I'm not sure whether that would change if I had a variety of females at my disposal ;) Recently I read this article that you might find helpful.

But I don't want to dwell on the negative, I'd like to emphasize how impressed I am that you moved everything forward so smartly and efficiently and caused this particular female such delight and excitement!! :))

Marty said:
Now take good care of your new-found lover and I hope you get the opportunity soon to give her an even deeper level of satisfaction. See a doctor if you need to, it's such an important aspect of your enjoyment of life that it's not worth suffering with it.

Thanks for this. I'm 26. I have actually noticed that when I have an actual girlfriend and we're seeing each other and having sex regularly and connecting on an emotional level and not purely physical, I NEVER, EVER have a problem with keeping an erection or using condoms. It's just with new girls and in new situations. It's got to be mental anxiety. I'm pretty sure it's also related to porn use which I'm getting over. This is definitely a flatline and my libido hasn't come back. Compared to my LR-'s from Christmas, I felt MUCH more aroused this time around and managed some erections.

That article is helpful, I'll implement a few things over the next few weeks to see what happens.

To clarify, I'm really not looking for sympathy with softness, guys. I do appreciate the support so don't take it the wrong way, but I've also given girls (mainly girlfriends) some amazing sex and I know what I'm capable of there...if I can get past myself. My own worst enemy! Ha-ha.

Pato said:
I loved this. Very well done on getting to sexual topics and getting physical with her. That should make her a lot more comfortable with the escalating and moving so fast. Without a lot of this sexual talk, I think it's very possible that you would've gotten a ton of LMR. Setting the non-judgmental and non-jealousy frames is always a good idea. You did really well throughout the whole interaction. And I second Anatman's comment on wanting to rip her apart, that was brilliant.

If a girl is open to talking about what she likes in bed and if you can get her comfortable enough to talk about it, I can't recommend this enough. I mean, really...if she tells you what she likes and you demonstrate it and clarify it and show her you understand it, and then DO it to her, it's going to be hard to NOT blow her mind in bed! ;-)
 

PrettyDecent

Tribal Elder
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Joined
Mar 2, 2013
Messages
865
NOTE: A MONTH BEFORE, I WOULD HAVE QUIT HERE. THIS TIME I TRIED TO CONTINUE PLAYING. IT WORKED.

It's all about that persistence ;)

Overall, it sounds like she was DTF before you guys had even met. I didn't get to read the whole report, but I'm sure your first meeting and texting were on point.

~Nick
 

Grand Pooba

Tribal Elder
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Joined
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Messages
1,458
LR: First Date with a Nurse

As of two days ago this is now an LR. (Third Meeting). I've also told her I'm seeing other people and she's actually okay with it and wants to keep meeting up. Hooray!
 

thedude

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Dec 9, 2012
Messages
288
Good job!!
 

BarryS1

Cro-Magnon Man
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Messages
441
About 45 minutes into being at the lounge, there was this pause between us. My hand was around her back, she was looking at me and I was looking at the ground. After a minute of silence she asks me:


HER: Why are you so quiet and staring into the abyss? Everything ok?
<Long extended pause>
ME: Hmm...well...I'm not sure if I should say it...
HER: Just say it! It's cool!
ME: Well...<look at her dead in the eye> honestly, I want to rip you apart right now, and I can't. There's people watching.
HER: Haha, well, we could do some stuff even though they're around.
ME: I don't think they'd want to see what we'd probably get into...

Ozzo, Colt just wrote a great article like this on dirty talking, Textbook perfect execution, I don’t think this could have been better timed. Awesome!

The conversation died a little bit and I tried hand holding again but felt an atmosphere of resistance.

Do you think it was resistance or you tired her out by taking about sex for awhile?

Seems like you both started to run out of sexual steam during the hookah lounge and subway. I find sexual frames and conversations to be draining for both parties that could lead to awkward silences. This is similar to Chase’s argument about overusing banter – it tires the girl out. I couldn't tell which sexual conversations were serious or exciting, so I can't pinpoint the closest indicators. Obviously the nurse was into you and let to sex later on, but I connected to something that’s been happening to me :)


Overall great read and congrats with your new FWBs! I’ll have to check out the sensuality meetups in my area as well.
 

stratvm

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 9, 2012
Messages
131
The Bad:
- Had Performance Anxiety and corresponding ED multiple times over the night. Really built up anticipation but couldn't get over a mental block with her.
- Felt bad about not having full sex with her even though she really, really wanted it. She was very tight and I couldn't get it in without losing my erection. We didn't have lube.

i dont want to feel like advertising something but cialis 20mg guys; full if you want to go for sure, half if you want a good balance between sensitivity and performance. as a former heavy porn user + working&living in constant stress&adrenaline i can confirm it works. if youre drunk, if you are tired as hell, if you are with the ugliest girl ever or if its your first time with alessandra ambrosio it doesnt matter. without this stuff probably i wouldnt even bother speaking to girls. probably a downside of it is that i dont even attempt doing anything without it.

happy to hear it was a happy ending though, probably you needed to get relaxed.
 

Grand Pooba

Tribal Elder
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Joined
Dec 6, 2012
Messages
1,458
BarryS1 said:
About 45 minutes into being at the lounge, there was this pause between us. My hand was around her back, she was looking at me and I was looking at the ground. After a minute of silence she asks me:


HER: Why are you so quiet and staring into the abyss? Everything ok?
<Long extended pause>
ME: Hmm...well...I'm not sure if I should say it...
HER: Just say it! It's cool!
ME: Well...<look at her dead in the eye> honestly, I want to rip you apart right now, and I can't. There's people watching.
HER: Haha, well, we could do some stuff even though they're around.
ME: I don't think they'd want to see what we'd probably get into...

Ozzo, Colt just wrote a great article like this on dirty talking, Textbook perfect execution, I don’t think this could have been better timed. Awesome!

Interesting that you note this; I had not even read that article yet. I've been experimenting with dirty/direct talk and I'm surprised at results I'm getting. It's great.

The conversation died a little bit and I tried hand holding again but felt an atmosphere of resistance.

Do you think it was resistance or you tired her out by taking about sex for awhile?

Seems like you both started to run out of sexual steam during the hookah lounge and subway. I find sexual frames and conversations to be draining for both parties that could lead to awkward silences. This is similar to Chase’s argument about overusing banter – it tires the girl out. I couldn't tell which sexual conversations were serious or exciting, so I can't pinpoint the closest indicators. Obviously the nurse was into you and let to sex later on, but I connected to something that’s been happening to me :)


Overall great read and congrats with your new FWBs! I’ll have to check out the sensuality meetups in my area as well.

I think this wasn't resistance or only talking about sex, I think that she was actually just extremely nervous about going home with me. She wanted to on a level, but a part of her was also extremely scared of actually going through with it. I found out that she's getting over an ex-bf that hurt her deeply, so part of it was also fear of going home with a new man and getting hurt again.

I think sexual steam runs out when you go through with the frames and conversations (sexual and chase framing) but don't actually move things along. This did happen a little bit in this situation - I wanted to go home with her and told my intention, and she didn't accept immediately, but only after our hookah session was getting stale and the vibe was clearly full of sexual tension. I think the right pull moment was about a half hour earlier than what happened.

PM me if you'd like to know more about this meetup.
 
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