Rooftop in Bangkok. Strong IOIs from a Filipina milf sitting in VIP section, but I can’t get away from my parents. I’ve spent all day in temples, thinking, surrounded by beautiful women, and my parents, at all times. My mom wants to leave the rooftop almost as soon as we arrive, but I am enjoying myself for the first time uninhibitedly on this vacation.
Hector had told me my major issue was “lack of conviction.” In my search for “conviction,” I was led to the first thing Hector said to me, in passing: “you really ought to be more hedonistic if you’re going to get women.” In a search for “hedonism,” I try to boil down, to its essence, what it is I want in women. I’ve been briefly steeped in buddhism, 5 day crash course at this point. I kind-of plug one end of my issue into the other, that I’ve suffered all my life in regards to women and relationships, partially out of not knowing what I want. I am so concerned with potentially not being able to have what I want when I want it, that I do not actually examine what I want.
After all of this suffering, I know that any romantic partner, taken on before you know what you want in relationships, is basically an instrument of torture in the long run.
So I say to myself, all I want is to not be that instrument of torture to a woman.
I don’t want that on my karma.
So I want a woman who knows what she wants.
And with that conclusion I had this immediate followup feeling that now that I know what I want, it doesn’t matter if I pursue women now, or what I do, I won’t be alone again. Because I know exactly what I want in a woman.
So, in that moment, I give up on pickup. I think, what would a woman who knows what she wants deserve in a man? I think, she would deserve a man who is completely single-minded in his pursuits. I have other things I focus on so I decide I will devote my life to that.
But also I bear a responsibility to be judicious with who I show my interest to through eye contact. If my logistics are bad, or if I’m not sure about wanting a girl, I have to be wary of showing interest, so as not to harm their emotional state. Not make them feel “assessed and found wanting.”
And I pass by the milf for bad logistics as we leave the rooftop, secure in the knowledge that I’m not going to be alone again.
Anyway. I film a video for my mom of something she had mentioned on the way from the hotel to the rooftop. We get to the mall adjacent to our hotel and our family splits up, I’m tasked with getting her a smoothie.
I have basically 15 minutes.
So I go straight to the cafeteria, still assessing the area very animalistically but not dependent on getting any women right now, knowing that I’m just here as a brief stop-gap before I go back to my goals. I go to the smoothie stall—while I walk there, I see three hot leads, or more accurately, two hot leads, and one girl, all the way across the food court, who simply seems “very easy to open.” White tourist dressed like a female Aladdin, except with the addition of a giant straw sombrero. I’m like, wow ok that’s very easy to tease her about. I go to the smoothie stall, check the price, go to the ticket kiosk at the opposite end of the food court, buy my ticket to the closest baht (69 baht), walk back to the other side, and order my mom’s smoothie. The easy-to-open girl puts her food tray at the table closest to me, right behind me, then stands up, walks over to and looks at the giant banner to my right with prices and pictures of the drinks at the kiosk.
“The mango smoothie is good, but the coke is very cheap”
“What?” *smiling*
“The mango smoothie is good, but the coke, is very cheap, you get a lot of it”
She basically explodes with information, just starts talking and keeps talking, in some kind of British accent. I interject once to mention her hat. She says she bought it the last time she was here. I said, “you came back… to return it.” She keeps talking about her trip and everything she is doing and it’s actually quite confusing what she is saying, but I understand from context that both of us are very anxious to keep talking and not to lose each other.
I get my smoothie and am holding it, tell her “hey, it’s clear we have a lot to talk about, let’s sit down, we can keep talking.” She says “my table,” and gestures. I sit and she goes off to get her beverage from another stall some distance away. I sit right next to her food. When she comes back with her coffee, she cautiously moves her food to the opposite side of the table and sits kitty-corner from me. I text my mom I’m on a date, that it will be a minute.
From there it was basically a no-game seduction. She kind of floats that this isn’t a date, to test my outcome independence. And I just say “I hope that this is a date
.” I tell her to say something in her native language as if I can understand. She complies, I ask her what she said and she says she can’t say it (so it is kind-of on, right there), but that basically she likes my hair. So I let my hair down and gently shake my locks down to my ears while staring into her eyes. I say, “was that good?” And she’s like “yes, very good.”
She has friends whose vacation is briefly intersecting with hers, she was their tour guide for the day, they join the two of us for a moment for assistance in getting directions to their hotel, before leaving.
I bounce her to the mall piano, to play “music from my city,” as I framed it to her, as she sits beside me. I press my leg against hers and she pulls away. This is the first expression of intent/physical compliance I’ve gone for. The music is good, she’s appropriately awed, but I can tell she isn’t sold on me as a sexual proposition yet, so I use the Will_V “talk about your interests, but only in an emotionally arousing way.” Music is waxed lyrical upon in a spastic, hyper, insane and intense way, and followed up with, in passing, “I’m passionate about sex also. Passionate about music, I feel this way about sex as well.” She says, “let’s take a walk.” So I say “we can take a walk, but I need to drop off this smoothie first at my hotel.” So I lead us that direction. We get on the escalator down, central escalator of the mall and she says, behind me or next to me, “the way you talk about music is, kind of like a sex.” It’s on. I go “I’ve been bringing up sex this whole time, I’m glad you finally did it yourself for once.” She laughs.
I drop the smoothie at the doorway, then make sure I’m on the elevator down before I text my parents about it.
We get outside the hotel, and she says let’s take a walk. And I’m like “we’re going to your hotel, right?” And at this point she almost ditches me. I ask the more calibrated, “what hotel are you at, so I can get directions,” and she says, I type it in, and lead her there. Hour walk from one end of the safe touristy downtown area of Bangkok to the other. I talk the whole time, with the full knowledge that I’m not supposed to be killing the vibe at this point. I’ve discovered a lot of similarity with this girl, she’s amazing, and I am basically just talking about how we live parallel lives in our respective countries and how I’ve never bonded so closely or so quickly with someone in my life. I pepper in a few brief silences, and ask her a couple times “do you want me to shut up so we can build tension?” She laughs every time I say that. And tells me she likes hearing the sound of my voice, to keep talking. We get to the door and she’s like “alright, thank you for walking me here, goodbye.” And I’m like “we should keep talking,” and she says ok. We walk in, into the very small lounge area, about 4 steps up from ground level, at this hostel-y hotel. We sit next to each other for about 1-2 minutes. She is clearly testing my outcome independence, and I just look at her. She seeded the pull with something like, “we can have coffee or tea, but you have to be good” and I say, “ok, let’s do that.” She says “you have to be good.” And I say, “I’ll be good.” “You promise,” I nod, “yep.” “Ok.” We take the elevator up. I pretty much have not touched this girl. Zero-touch seduction. We get to the room, she shows me her small room briefly.
She gets about six feet away from me, in front of me. “So. (stoic face, British accent throughout) Coffee? Tea?” “You.;” I point at her. She walks forward. “No.” Kisses me, open-mouth, pulls away. “No.” *smiling* “No.” *shakes head* “You have to go.” “Go.” I say “ok.” She’s like “one more time,” or something like that, we kiss passionately for some time, standing, and I go for her breast. Same resistance, same response. “One more time,” she says, or something like that. I start just listing all of her possible objections in a mocking way between breaths while kissing her. “I’m too young, I seem inexperienced” I throw her on the bed and go for her breast again, nope. I do get a parting shot at kneeing her pussy though, which neglecting to do lost me my previous seduction. Same resistance, we stand up, I go to leave, and another chance, again. This time, as I push her onto the bed, she, ballerina-like, triggers the lights out with her foot. I throw her on the bed, still heavy verbal resistance, but kneeing her pussy is the argument that dispenses all the resistance. All of her clothes come off. And a naked little pixie throws me off of her just as my dick is lined up with her hole. “NO!” “You have 5 minutes to get a condom,” she says, from the bed, while I am standing, with my pants and shirt on, hair a mess, with my dick out.
So I slowly go to the door; once I close the door, I am sprinting to the corner store. Google translate “condom” to the attendants. Not only do I not care but I hope everyone in the area gets a story from it. They point, I buy. I’m back, probably 6 minutes. She stands up, still beautiful and naked, so fucking beautiful, way more curvature to her than I saw on her as a stranger. Really very nice. And she says “why do you look so serious?”
And I say, in the sexiest voice you can think of: “In Super Mario Galaxy, there’s a stage, where, as mario, you have to chase fake mario, and fake mario goes really fast. If you don’t catch up with fake mario, you die. Guess why… I never beat Super Mario Galaxy.” And she goes to kiss me and I pull away “I’m slow.” She does it again, I almost let her touch my lips “Slow.” She does it again, just brushes my lips. I stop her. “Slow.” Then I attack. We go straight from making out to showering together, and in the shower she basically lets me go in raw for a few strokes anyway lol. One of 5 hot showers I had had in the previous 3 years. She cleans herself, I’m just getting wet and keeping things sexual, enjoying myself.
We go like 4 rounds, use all three condoms. I even sleep with a condom on, when we wake up I use it again. In my mind i’m like, “I’ve got to lock in this girl,” so I try to make three encounters worth of fucking in on just this one night.
In the morning, she is like, “stay. Stay here, spend your nights here, with me.” And I’m like, “I’ll check with my mom.” Number-close the girl. Walk back to my hotel, my mom is crying, nice. So I go to the next city with my parents, let the girl know I can’t stay, but if she wants to come to the next city, I’ll get the room. The last night in that city, she comes along. Almost flakes because I was not sending enough emojis. I threw on my favorite music, with 300 dollars in the hole on a luxury hotel room that at this point only exists to make my parents uncomfortable; kick back on my cot and just enjoy my own feeling of outcome independence, send two laughing emojis and a kissy face emoji, and she goes from ghosting to responsive. “On my way to the train station,” and in my head I’m like, “yeah.” “Now you are.”
I prep the room. She prefers warm water so I transfer the bottles from my parents room to mine. 3 boxes of condoms. I order a tuktuk to the train station. She arrives some time after she said she would but also earlier than I expected, doesn’t quite see me, I tap her on the shoulder and she tries to get very amorous with me while we wait for the tuktuk back to the hotel. I refuse her advances but she does get a kiss in.
When we get in the tuktuk, we are a moving sex show on the highway. I even go for her tit briefly. We get to the room, I have an attendant come with us, escort us up so he can show me how to turn off the one light I didn’t know how to turn off. He leaves.
I told her via text we were going to be showering when she arrives, but I made sure we got our dirty-body sex in beforehand. That was the best, we went on like animals. “Uncomfortable for the girl”-style adapted-missionary pounding—I fucking destroyed her. There was a touch of period blood on the condom when I pulled out at the end, I had to make sure with her that it wasn’t anything wrong. She laughed and mocked me “yes, I’m dead now; you killed me.”
When we get to the shower, I only let us do cold. I spend like 15 minutes washing my hair in front of her just to annoy her, occasionally spraying her with cold water. She washes herself with cold water when I’m done, giving me a pouty-angry face. We spend some time just enjoying each other's bodies, not fucking. I kneel at her chest-height and press my face against her breastbone. I stand up to apply some product to my hair and she gives me a blowjob. More accurately, she makes love to my cock with her mouth. Only blowjob I’ve ever actually enjoyed in my life.
We go for four more rounds that night, relaxing pauses between each round, a bunch of dirty talk; we fucked on one couch, on the other couch; maybe we only did foreplay on the other couch, I can’t remember. Last round, she says “fuck me like this is the last time.” I did, and although it made me put everything I had into it, it turned out sentimental in retrospect as it actually ended up being our last time.
She sleeps, says “she (her pussy) is sleeping.” I go and sleep with her but miss my alarm or only set my alarm to wednesdays or something, so it doesn’t go off. If I had set my alarm appropriately, she would have probably chased me to the fourth city. As it shakes out, we book her flight to the third city but my mom doesn’t like staying there. So we leave that one prematurely, and the girl won’t schedule another flight.
I almost would have LTR’d her; honestly if she followed me to the last hotel, my heart would not have stood a chance. But the streets of Phuket called my name instead, and on our last night in Thailand I break things off with her over videocall. She says to give it a week to deliberate, I ask for 2.
Book another session with Hector, he says, emphatically, for the second time about this girl, to break it off.
So two-and-a-half-weeks later I affirm my decision and it goes well, none of the tears of the first time. I was bedridden for about another couple weeks… honestly it’s been about a month and a half, I think I am feeling good now though. The most recent person I’ve clicked with from nighttime day game, just a few days ago, was 14 years older than her, but same relationship history and nationality.
If you know what you want, you can have what you want. So think about it as if you can have it. What you want might appear right in front of you.
KTTL: Knee her pussy. Let her hear all of her objections from your own lips. Emojis for emotional transference in texting.
Hector had told me my major issue was “lack of conviction.” In my search for “conviction,” I was led to the first thing Hector said to me, in passing: “you really ought to be more hedonistic if you’re going to get women.” In a search for “hedonism,” I try to boil down, to its essence, what it is I want in women. I’ve been briefly steeped in buddhism, 5 day crash course at this point. I kind-of plug one end of my issue into the other, that I’ve suffered all my life in regards to women and relationships, partially out of not knowing what I want. I am so concerned with potentially not being able to have what I want when I want it, that I do not actually examine what I want.
After all of this suffering, I know that any romantic partner, taken on before you know what you want in relationships, is basically an instrument of torture in the long run.
So I say to myself, all I want is to not be that instrument of torture to a woman.
I don’t want that on my karma.
So I want a woman who knows what she wants.
And with that conclusion I had this immediate followup feeling that now that I know what I want, it doesn’t matter if I pursue women now, or what I do, I won’t be alone again. Because I know exactly what I want in a woman.
So, in that moment, I give up on pickup. I think, what would a woman who knows what she wants deserve in a man? I think, she would deserve a man who is completely single-minded in his pursuits. I have other things I focus on so I decide I will devote my life to that.
But also I bear a responsibility to be judicious with who I show my interest to through eye contact. If my logistics are bad, or if I’m not sure about wanting a girl, I have to be wary of showing interest, so as not to harm their emotional state. Not make them feel “assessed and found wanting.”
And I pass by the milf for bad logistics as we leave the rooftop, secure in the knowledge that I’m not going to be alone again.
Anyway. I film a video for my mom of something she had mentioned on the way from the hotel to the rooftop. We get to the mall adjacent to our hotel and our family splits up, I’m tasked with getting her a smoothie.
I have basically 15 minutes.
So I go straight to the cafeteria, still assessing the area very animalistically but not dependent on getting any women right now, knowing that I’m just here as a brief stop-gap before I go back to my goals. I go to the smoothie stall—while I walk there, I see three hot leads, or more accurately, two hot leads, and one girl, all the way across the food court, who simply seems “very easy to open.” White tourist dressed like a female Aladdin, except with the addition of a giant straw sombrero. I’m like, wow ok that’s very easy to tease her about. I go to the smoothie stall, check the price, go to the ticket kiosk at the opposite end of the food court, buy my ticket to the closest baht (69 baht), walk back to the other side, and order my mom’s smoothie. The easy-to-open girl puts her food tray at the table closest to me, right behind me, then stands up, walks over to and looks at the giant banner to my right with prices and pictures of the drinks at the kiosk.
“The mango smoothie is good, but the coke is very cheap”
“What?” *smiling*
“The mango smoothie is good, but the coke, is very cheap, you get a lot of it”
She basically explodes with information, just starts talking and keeps talking, in some kind of British accent. I interject once to mention her hat. She says she bought it the last time she was here. I said, “you came back… to return it.” She keeps talking about her trip and everything she is doing and it’s actually quite confusing what she is saying, but I understand from context that both of us are very anxious to keep talking and not to lose each other.
I get my smoothie and am holding it, tell her “hey, it’s clear we have a lot to talk about, let’s sit down, we can keep talking.” She says “my table,” and gestures. I sit and she goes off to get her beverage from another stall some distance away. I sit right next to her food. When she comes back with her coffee, she cautiously moves her food to the opposite side of the table and sits kitty-corner from me. I text my mom I’m on a date, that it will be a minute.
From there it was basically a no-game seduction. She kind of floats that this isn’t a date, to test my outcome independence. And I just say “I hope that this is a date
.” I tell her to say something in her native language as if I can understand. She complies, I ask her what she said and she says she can’t say it (so it is kind-of on, right there), but that basically she likes my hair. So I let my hair down and gently shake my locks down to my ears while staring into her eyes. I say, “was that good?” And she’s like “yes, very good.”She has friends whose vacation is briefly intersecting with hers, she was their tour guide for the day, they join the two of us for a moment for assistance in getting directions to their hotel, before leaving.
I bounce her to the mall piano, to play “music from my city,” as I framed it to her, as she sits beside me. I press my leg against hers and she pulls away. This is the first expression of intent/physical compliance I’ve gone for. The music is good, she’s appropriately awed, but I can tell she isn’t sold on me as a sexual proposition yet, so I use the Will_V “talk about your interests, but only in an emotionally arousing way.” Music is waxed lyrical upon in a spastic, hyper, insane and intense way, and followed up with, in passing, “I’m passionate about sex also. Passionate about music, I feel this way about sex as well.” She says, “let’s take a walk.” So I say “we can take a walk, but I need to drop off this smoothie first at my hotel.” So I lead us that direction. We get on the escalator down, central escalator of the mall and she says, behind me or next to me, “the way you talk about music is, kind of like a sex.” It’s on. I go “I’ve been bringing up sex this whole time, I’m glad you finally did it yourself for once.” She laughs.
I drop the smoothie at the doorway, then make sure I’m on the elevator down before I text my parents about it.
We get outside the hotel, and she says let’s take a walk. And I’m like “we’re going to your hotel, right?” And at this point she almost ditches me. I ask the more calibrated, “what hotel are you at, so I can get directions,” and she says, I type it in, and lead her there. Hour walk from one end of the safe touristy downtown area of Bangkok to the other. I talk the whole time, with the full knowledge that I’m not supposed to be killing the vibe at this point. I’ve discovered a lot of similarity with this girl, she’s amazing, and I am basically just talking about how we live parallel lives in our respective countries and how I’ve never bonded so closely or so quickly with someone in my life. I pepper in a few brief silences, and ask her a couple times “do you want me to shut up so we can build tension?” She laughs every time I say that. And tells me she likes hearing the sound of my voice, to keep talking. We get to the door and she’s like “alright, thank you for walking me here, goodbye.” And I’m like “we should keep talking,” and she says ok. We walk in, into the very small lounge area, about 4 steps up from ground level, at this hostel-y hotel. We sit next to each other for about 1-2 minutes. She is clearly testing my outcome independence, and I just look at her. She seeded the pull with something like, “we can have coffee or tea, but you have to be good” and I say, “ok, let’s do that.” She says “you have to be good.” And I say, “I’ll be good.” “You promise,” I nod, “yep.” “Ok.” We take the elevator up. I pretty much have not touched this girl. Zero-touch seduction. We get to the room, she shows me her small room briefly.
She gets about six feet away from me, in front of me. “So. (stoic face, British accent throughout) Coffee? Tea?” “You.;” I point at her. She walks forward. “No.” Kisses me, open-mouth, pulls away. “No.” *smiling* “No.” *shakes head* “You have to go.” “Go.” I say “ok.” She’s like “one more time,” or something like that, we kiss passionately for some time, standing, and I go for her breast. Same resistance, same response. “One more time,” she says, or something like that. I start just listing all of her possible objections in a mocking way between breaths while kissing her. “I’m too young, I seem inexperienced” I throw her on the bed and go for her breast again, nope. I do get a parting shot at kneeing her pussy though, which neglecting to do lost me my previous seduction. Same resistance, we stand up, I go to leave, and another chance, again. This time, as I push her onto the bed, she, ballerina-like, triggers the lights out with her foot. I throw her on the bed, still heavy verbal resistance, but kneeing her pussy is the argument that dispenses all the resistance. All of her clothes come off. And a naked little pixie throws me off of her just as my dick is lined up with her hole. “NO!” “You have 5 minutes to get a condom,” she says, from the bed, while I am standing, with my pants and shirt on, hair a mess, with my dick out.
So I slowly go to the door; once I close the door, I am sprinting to the corner store. Google translate “condom” to the attendants. Not only do I not care but I hope everyone in the area gets a story from it. They point, I buy. I’m back, probably 6 minutes. She stands up, still beautiful and naked, so fucking beautiful, way more curvature to her than I saw on her as a stranger. Really very nice. And she says “why do you look so serious?”
And I say, in the sexiest voice you can think of: “In Super Mario Galaxy, there’s a stage, where, as mario, you have to chase fake mario, and fake mario goes really fast. If you don’t catch up with fake mario, you die. Guess why… I never beat Super Mario Galaxy.” And she goes to kiss me and I pull away “I’m slow.” She does it again, I almost let her touch my lips “Slow.” She does it again, just brushes my lips. I stop her. “Slow.
” Then I attack. We go straight from making out to showering together, and in the shower she basically lets me go in raw for a few strokes anyway lol. One of 5 hot showers I had had in the previous 3 years. She cleans herself, I’m just getting wet and keeping things sexual, enjoying myself.We go like 4 rounds, use all three condoms. I even sleep with a condom on, when we wake up I use it again. In my mind i’m like, “I’ve got to lock in this girl,” so I try to make three encounters worth of fucking in on just this one night.
In the morning, she is like, “stay. Stay here, spend your nights here, with me.” And I’m like, “I’ll check with my mom.” Number-close the girl. Walk back to my hotel, my mom is crying, nice. So I go to the next city with my parents, let the girl know I can’t stay, but if she wants to come to the next city, I’ll get the room. The last night in that city, she comes along. Almost flakes because I was not sending enough emojis. I threw on my favorite music, with 300 dollars in the hole on a luxury hotel room that at this point only exists to make my parents uncomfortable; kick back on my cot and just enjoy my own feeling of outcome independence, send two laughing emojis and a kissy face emoji, and she goes from ghosting to responsive. “On my way to the train station,” and in my head I’m like, “yeah.” “Now you are.”
I prep the room. She prefers warm water so I transfer the bottles from my parents room to mine. 3 boxes of condoms. I order a tuktuk to the train station. She arrives some time after she said she would but also earlier than I expected, doesn’t quite see me, I tap her on the shoulder and she tries to get very amorous with me while we wait for the tuktuk back to the hotel. I refuse her advances but she does get a kiss in.
When we get in the tuktuk, we are a moving sex show on the highway. I even go for her tit briefly. We get to the room, I have an attendant come with us, escort us up so he can show me how to turn off the one light I didn’t know how to turn off. He leaves.
I told her via text we were going to be showering when she arrives, but I made sure we got our dirty-body sex in beforehand. That was the best, we went on like animals. “Uncomfortable for the girl”-style adapted-missionary pounding—I fucking destroyed her. There was a touch of period blood on the condom when I pulled out at the end, I had to make sure with her that it wasn’t anything wrong. She laughed and mocked me “yes, I’m dead now; you killed me.”
When we get to the shower, I only let us do cold. I spend like 15 minutes washing my hair in front of her just to annoy her, occasionally spraying her with cold water. She washes herself with cold water when I’m done, giving me a pouty-angry face. We spend some time just enjoying each other's bodies, not fucking. I kneel at her chest-height and press my face against her breastbone. I stand up to apply some product to my hair and she gives me a blowjob. More accurately, she makes love to my cock with her mouth. Only blowjob I’ve ever actually enjoyed in my life.
We go for four more rounds that night, relaxing pauses between each round, a bunch of dirty talk; we fucked on one couch, on the other couch; maybe we only did foreplay on the other couch, I can’t remember. Last round, she says “fuck me like this is the last time.” I did, and although it made me put everything I had into it, it turned out sentimental in retrospect as it actually ended up being our last time.
She sleeps, says “she (her pussy) is sleeping.” I go and sleep with her but miss my alarm or only set my alarm to wednesdays or something, so it doesn’t go off. If I had set my alarm appropriately, she would have probably chased me to the fourth city. As it shakes out, we book her flight to the third city but my mom doesn’t like staying there. So we leave that one prematurely, and the girl won’t schedule another flight.
I almost would have LTR’d her; honestly if she followed me to the last hotel, my heart would not have stood a chance. But the streets of Phuket called my name instead, and on our last night in Thailand I break things off with her over videocall. She says to give it a week to deliberate, I ask for 2.
Book another session with Hector, he says, emphatically, for the second time about this girl, to break it off.
So two-and-a-half-weeks later I affirm my decision and it goes well, none of the tears of the first time. I was bedridden for about another couple weeks… honestly it’s been about a month and a half, I think I am feeling good now though. The most recent person I’ve clicked with from nighttime day game, just a few days ago, was 14 years older than her, but same relationship history and nationality.
If you know what you want, you can have what you want. So think about it as if you can have it. What you want might appear right in front of you.
KTTL: Knee her pussy. Let her hear all of her objections from your own lips. Emojis for emotional transference in texting.
