First Journal Entry

[Underground Man]

As far as I know there is no place where I can express my questions and discuss my own experiences. So I made this journal as a response to something that I felt was needed. Among my chief concerns is the amount of pride that may be present when I write about something that I think I know when in reality I am nothing more than a student just like you. What does it mean to be a sexy versus clean? More than a couple of things cleanliness is a face of sexiness it is something that is present in sexiness but can each exist independently of one another. In short it means much more to be sexy because it is subjective, and because it is much more open ended depending on the type of squeeze you wish to appeal.It is a way of existing more than being only clean there is more to it then being only clean. Cleanliness is not a requirement​ nor a condition merely a more agreeable state in our search for the path of least resistance. I forgot the other question I had but as far as I know it could wait. A question that is also an issue is if an ndividual should have any friends crazy right? Here's the reasoning. Why have friends when you can have only hook ups and a main squeeze. This is flawed due to the pressure placed on a this life, sure you should live and breathe this stuff but it will help no one if you keep to yourself and have no community in search of self improvement. Having no support would result in a very very difficult place to get out of were you to need assistance in things having gone awry.How do you approach women who are not sexy? To not induce any negative responses. Is there any reason why I shouldn't copy another dude's openings and actions? Am I losing my personality? Does that mean I HAVE an identity?
On a side note I wanted to say that I've found my interactions go bad if Im being too serious. This isn't some save the world type shit. It's not the end of the world fo a couple of mistakes.

 

[Underground Man]

Second Journal Entry

I may be flawed in thinking this, but I don't think that a partner should be the goal that we are searching for. Neither should a hedonistic attitude of one night stands. They may be great rewards in our training in becoming masters of the craft, but they may cloud our visions of the things that are truly important.I'm not sure what is important but one question that seems to answer this is if there is indeed a better self. This self does not have to be authentic, we can lie to ourselves about this self truly being ourselves but this isn't my concern. These answers only seem to answer relative questions. If a being in the west desires x his life should do (and be) y. And if our location changes our social conduct and rules must also change. But this is not based on being a better version of ourselves only of achieving a sense of agree ability to society. These may not lead to getting some, and we do these things despite the fact that they in no way will further our own goals. There is a self that will allow a sense of satisfaction but one that has satisfaction is not necessarily one that is better. Those that are considered better are rewarded but don't lead to the rewards we want. Our goal then doesn't seem to be one of searching a better self, it is of searching a way to find the rewards that we as seducers must be. It does not ask us what we want, only of what we must do. What then is the search of the self-help community? There is no one that FORCES us to do what we seek to be. We must continue to choose what we are. The self-help community does not force anyone to do anything. There is only the flow of information into what is available and the rules that we must follow in order to learn about the success that is measured by the rewards we gain. There may be other forces at work but this is not the self-help communities goals. We learn to find better success by isolating the factors that we can control. This control may also be an illusion of our own control. There is no real control with the ethnicity of women, nor the height of women that we encounter, nor even the women that are interested in us. We control only ourselves. And sometimes we do not even that. The role of the self-help community is improvement in factors that man can control. His intellect, his emotions, and his capital(through prudent choices). Thus then women are not our goal women are only a result of what we have done. The actions we have taken.

 

[Underground Man]

Third Journal Entry

What must be our form. I understand that we seek to understand the ways of the greats, and the only attainable form is to find the knowledge and use that knowledge to resemble the beginnings of a man who is not ruled by ignorance alone, knowledge sheds light into the reason why we must do certain things. In short the most obvious thing to do. This, on the outset, must seem to child's play to man who has knowledge and experience with most mundane aspects of our prison. The freedom is one that has been found with utmost pain, but It seems obvious to those who have gotten more than their fair share. So then why must we follow the rules that we have not earned by our own hand? Those rules seem to demonstrate a prison in the freedom that we seek to gain. But they are not prisons they are the truth of our existence. The rules are only ways to answer the prison of our illusions of what the answers should be. As Chase has said before, this is because we have not yet the experiences to pick and choose how we answer these problems. We must be on an ever increasing search for a way to disprove the things that we have learned. The skepticism in its own right is because we are not sure of the truth of the nature of the rules we have chosen to follow. We cannot unlearn what we have learned, regardless of our skill level we are unable to unsee the truth of the reality. How we live and the lies that are fed to use. That we have control over our destinies. And that is awful. We are conscious of the fact that we must always be choosing to be or not be. We can chose what we are, but giving way to not being great seducers is by our own choice after the truth has set us free. The access to such knowledge has fooled us into thinking that we can be anything, that is not the truth, we are limited as is certain by our limitations as man. We are flawed, we cannot believe that we can be anything, we can make decisions in the world, but we cannot be anything we already is man. We can choose what we do but we cannot be anything more than the limits of our decisions in our own bodies.

 

[Underground Man]

Fourth Journal Entry

This manner of finding answers, of questioning what is going on, the structure behind it is fine. But it is not the best way to figure out how to do things. A major distrust with what I have been arguing is an attempt at reasoning the structure behind the reality. Yet this is a very dangerous way to become something. I by doing this have become solely a spectator because I do not partake in this game. I am lying to myself that my voice is one that is trustworthy. I might as well argue that I know how to shoot a three pointer from the back court because I have watched the greats do it, or am a great master at art because I have seen sculptures made. In reality I am not trustworthy because I have to be living and breathing the experiences in order to improve. What is incorrect shall be made correct by the correct approach and knowledge that was a "secret" before. But I do have SOME experiences that have helped me learn. Rather than looking at the experiences as failures they should instead be seen as reference points to the discrete rules. A man who fails is still a man. As is a man who success is still a man.The only difference is how a man reacts to the challenges that are faced. These are the never-ending choices that MUST always be taken. Should I make the "correct" choice or sabotage mine own success in order to veil an ignorance to the truth.

 

[Underground Man]

Fourth Journal Entry

At one moment I may say I am right and seek to say it was all a farce. That previous post was a lie. I would be happy to tell you. Answers are the things we should be looking for. The man that has all the information will make the best informed decision. I will be a better man for all eternity I will cherish beauty and be the greatest lover of women and their beauty.Were I to learn that it was my genetics that made me love that woman... As if... a stone ... what would be my recourse then....undirected..who should I punish.. As if it is my fault that I did this. And it wasn't those damn chemicals......

I saw her; blue eyes,blonde. What characterized me to act in such a manner? I wasn't ready. Wasn't I? I feigned. For what reason? Was I ready to be what she wanted?pomos micro ma cherie? Would I be ready to trust again after all that.