- Joined
- Dec 7, 2012
- Messages
- 234
Due to an upcoming date with a Mexican girl that doesn't speak English, it came to me that I was focused way too much on verbal stuff and didn't bother to look at the other 97% of communication. I tried to focus on slowing down my speech and pausing often, getting random kinds of investment from the girl, and getting that mini-date I had previously failed with other girls. I had an hour to do what I wanted, so I went to Wal-Mart to find a girl.
I only approached one girl, but this is the longest conversation I've ever had due to the successful mini date.
Hayley: After roaming for a good while, I happened upon a red-head girl with her mom. I opened, but this time, rather than pay attention to how I open, I focused on my non-verbals.
Me: "Hey, I thought you were super cute, and I wanted to come say hello!"
Her: "Oh, hi! Thank you!"
Me: "First thing's first.... How old are you?"
Her: "18!"
Me: "I am also barely legal
"
Her: *laughs*
Me: *smile at the mom, who smiles back and walks away* "So, I can tell a girl is really attractive the moment I look at her... What I can't tell is whether or not I'll like her personality."
Her: "So just say hi!"
Me: "Okay, hi! What's your story?"
Her: "Um... I'm from Wisconsin!"
Me: "How many miles away?"
Her: "Do you know where Hudson is?"
Me: "I.... know where Hudson Road is! Haha, what brings you to Minnesota then?"
Her: "I'm just shopping for school stuff!"
Me: "Oh, okay! So like... backpacks and stuff like that."
Her: "No... Dorm stuff *laughs*"
Me: "Oh, I got you! ...Have I introduced myself yet?"
Her: "You have not"
Me: "Alright then. Hi, I'm AP!" *hold my hand out*
Her: "I'm Hayley!" *We shake hands, but I continue to hold her hand*
Me: "So um.... wow, I can't really think right now can I? ...Must be your eyes... What college are you going to?"
Her: "*laughs* (Some random college)"
Me: "For what major?"
Her: "Archeology?"
Me: "Cool! You get to be the first girl I've ever met to be into archeology... Why archeology? Hang on, walk with me?"
Her: "Um... sure!" *I let go of her hand, and we begin wandering aimlessly around Walmart*
Me: "Yeah, I didn't want to get in anybody's way there... So yeah, why archeology? Why not... biology.. or radiology..?"
Her: "I don't know... I think I've always wanted to do that."
Me: "What influenced you to do that as a kid?"
Her: "Well... I didn't want to get a history degree!"
Me: "You're into history?" *give her an enthusiastic face*
Her: "Yeah! It was my best subject!"
Me: "I really love history too! I always feel kind of out of place in the time I'm in... it's weird, but do you know what I mean?"
Her: "Yeah, I got you!"
Me: "I've had this fascination with all kinds of time periods... the 1500's.... the Victorian Age... the 80's..."
Her: "Haha, the 80's! That's really random!"
Me: "I think rock and roll really got me into the 80's.. I'm a guitarist, and I would have loved to watch one of those old legends rock out in front of a bunch of gyrating, intoxicated kids just there to have a good time.... Here, hold this!" *I hand her my keys so I can dig deeper into my pockets... Also for some random investment* "You aren't going to run off with my keys, are you?"
Her: "Haha, I was considering it!"
Me: "Here! *I hand her my guitar pick* I always keep a guitar pick with me, wherever I go."
Her: "Haha, true rock and roller."
*pause*
Me: "Are you into music at all too? Or sports?"
Her: "I've played softball... football... basketball..."
Me: "So.. you really like playing with balls then!"
Her: *laughs* "Yep! Haha, I've also played golf!"
Me: "You are also the first girl I've met that plays golf! ...Just so you know, I have no clue where I'm leading us."
Her: "Haha, that's fine!"
Me: "Let's go over here now.. So was it like a childhood thing then? Or will you be doing some of it in college?"
Her: (Don't remember her answer) "Let's go over to the food!"
Me: "Sweet, I love food! What school did you go to before? Oh right, you live in Wisconsin and wouldn't be going to a school that I know of..."
Her: "Well, I grew up in Minnesota.."
Me: "Oh okay, so you just moved to Wisconsin for college then?"
Her: "Yeah, I grew up in Oakdale.. do you know where that is?"
Me: "Shut up! ...I'm from Oakdale!"
Her: "Really? So you must go to Tartan then!"
Me: "You got me! Haha, so I guess you're very familiar with how little there is to do in our sad little town then huh?"
Her: "Oh yeah.. But now I'm moving to a little town like Oakdale too for college."
Me: "Hopefully not as boring though, right?"
Her: "Well, no... There's (names all sorts of attractions that will never be in my sad little town)"
Me: "Damn.. Wish I could see those in Joke-Dale... So if you ache for adventure and a place more eventful, why'd you choose a small town college then?"
Her: "You get more attention from the professors with a small town college.. There are only about 400 people that'll be on campus."
Me: "Damn..."
Her: "Haha, I actually dream of going to New York when I graduate though."
Me: "Shut up! Like, New York, New York?"
Her: "Yeah, like the Manhattan area!"
Me: "Oh my god, yes! You and I are off to a really good start."
Her: *laughs*
Me: "So why do you want to move there? I can tell you why I want to afterwards."
Her: "Well, for starters, there's Broadway."
Me: "Oh, so you're really big into theatre?" *she nodds* "So you are musical then..."
Her: "Yeah, Les Miserable is like my favorite musical."
Me: "You're kidding me.. The first time I saw that was on the big screen with Hugh Jackman and them... Afterwards I loved it so much, I watched the stage versions on Youtube during meals... When you eat, there's no better place to eat than in front of the computer."
Her: "Right?"
Me: "Anyway, I found the stage versions on Youtube and first watched the 25th anniversary."
Her: "Awww...."
Me: "I ended up watching the 10th anniversary soon after though."
Her: "Okay, good! The 10th anniversary is WAY better."
Me: "I thought so too. I thought the... Not Valjean, though his actor was better too.... Javair! I thought the Javair from the 10th edition was perfect for the part! He literally had the perfect face, voice, and facial expressions for the part."
Her: "I really liked him too! I liked Eponine."
Me: "I did too, but I think I preferred the Eponine from 25."
Her: "Samantha Barks?"
Me: "Yeah, I personally loved how she displayed the emotions in 'on my own'..."
Her: "Yeah, she is pretty good.. I like Lea Salonga though!"
Me: "The Asian girl?"
Her: "Haha, yes!"
Me: "I thought she was great too. Though I liked her better as Fantine."
Her: "Yeah, she did great both times. Personally, I think Nick Jonas ruined the whole 25th anniversary though."
Me: "You're not a Jonas Brother's fan?"
Her: "Heck no!"
Me: "Okay, you are way too cool for me not to meet up with you again."
Her: "Haha, thank you!"
Me: *pull out phone* "What's your number? Is it a (twin cities area code)?"
Her: "No, it's a (some Wisconsin area code)"
Me: "Okay.. (I type in the area code as she proceeds to give me the rest of the number)... God, I am so bad with names!"
Her: "Hayley!"
Me: "I want to see if I can spell it right..."
Her: "Haha, you probably wont!"
Me: "Is it spelled weirdly?"
Her: "Kinda... It's H-A-Y-L-E-Y."
Me: "Okay, saved. So anyway, can I put you on the spot for a second?"
Her: "Um... sure!"
Me: "Can I see you act?"
Her mom appeared out of nowhere after that and pointed at her watch.. I had intended to keep the mini date going after the number swap, but unfortunately, she had to go.
Her: "I gotta go. Nice meeting you though!"
Me: "Yeah, you too! Can I get a hug goodbye?"
Her: "Sure!" (First hug of my pickup career where the girl actually embraced me for real instead of just giving me an awkward lean hug.)
Me: "And when do you think we can meet up again?"
Her: "Um.. I'm not sure..."
Me: "Do you want me to just text you then?"
Her: "Sure!"
Me: "Okay, I'll do that!" (I waved goodbye to both her and her mom and texted the her as I left so she could have my number)
Things I did well:
1) Finally, I got a successful mini date!
2) My non-verbals are far more sharp. I focus less on what I say than I do on how I say it.
3) I held the girl's hand longer, found ways to get her to invest in me, moved her, and had the best conversation with a girl I've found randomly so far.
Things that need improvement:
1) Not sure the mom liked me for dragging her daughter away like that. I need to find a way to give the mom more attention.
2) My speech needs slowing, and I need my emotions to show more subtly.
3) I won't always get this lucky with girls and need to be better prepared for when the two of us don't relate as easily
Realizations:
1) Anything that makes a person change what they were originally doing is making them invest. This was the reason I had her hold both my keys and my guitar pick.
2) Moving the girl makes the conversation ten times easier.
3) Cheap goods isn't the only thing you can find at Wal-Mart
Though I only got to approach one girl today, I walked out far more satisfied than I've felt before. I'm pretty sure I had a gigantic grin on my face the whole ride home that caused some people to stare. More progress baby!
I only approached one girl, but this is the longest conversation I've ever had due to the successful mini date.
Hayley: After roaming for a good while, I happened upon a red-head girl with her mom. I opened, but this time, rather than pay attention to how I open, I focused on my non-verbals.
Me: "Hey, I thought you were super cute, and I wanted to come say hello!"
Her: "Oh, hi! Thank you!"
Me: "First thing's first.... How old are you?"
Her: "18!"
Me: "I am also barely legal
"Her: *laughs*
Me: *smile at the mom, who smiles back and walks away* "So, I can tell a girl is really attractive the moment I look at her... What I can't tell is whether or not I'll like her personality."
Her: "So just say hi!
"Me: "Okay, hi! What's your story?"
Her: "Um... I'm from Wisconsin!"
Me: "How many miles away?"
Her: "Do you know where Hudson is?"
Me: "I.... know where Hudson Road is! Haha, what brings you to Minnesota then?"
Her: "I'm just shopping for school stuff!"
Me: "Oh, okay! So like... backpacks and stuff like that."
Her: "No... Dorm stuff *laughs*"
Me: "Oh, I got you! ...Have I introduced myself yet?"
Her: "You have not
"Me: "Alright then. Hi, I'm AP!" *hold my hand out*
Her: "I'm Hayley!" *We shake hands, but I continue to hold her hand*
Me: "So um.... wow, I can't really think right now can I? ...Must be your eyes... What college are you going to?"
Her: "*laughs* (Some random college)"
Me: "For what major?"
Her: "Archeology?"
Me: "Cool! You get to be the first girl I've ever met to be into archeology... Why archeology? Hang on, walk with me?"
Her: "Um... sure!" *I let go of her hand, and we begin wandering aimlessly around Walmart*
Me: "Yeah, I didn't want to get in anybody's way there... So yeah, why archeology? Why not... biology.. or radiology..?"
Her: "I don't know... I think I've always wanted to do that."
Me: "What influenced you to do that as a kid?"
Her: "Well... I didn't want to get a history degree!"
Me: "You're into history?" *give her an enthusiastic face*
Her: "Yeah! It was my best subject!"
Me: "I really love history too! I always feel kind of out of place in the time I'm in... it's weird, but do you know what I mean?"
Her: "Yeah, I got you!"
Me: "I've had this fascination with all kinds of time periods... the 1500's.... the Victorian Age... the 80's..."
Her: "Haha, the 80's! That's really random!"
Me: "I think rock and roll really got me into the 80's.. I'm a guitarist, and I would have loved to watch one of those old legends rock out in front of a bunch of gyrating, intoxicated kids just there to have a good time.... Here, hold this!" *I hand her my keys so I can dig deeper into my pockets... Also for some random investment* "You aren't going to run off with my keys, are you?"
Her: "Haha, I was considering it!"
Me: "Here! *I hand her my guitar pick* I always keep a guitar pick with me, wherever I go."
Her: "Haha, true rock and roller."
*pause*
Me: "Are you into music at all too? Or sports?"
Her: "I've played softball... football... basketball..."
Me: "So.. you really like playing with balls then!"
Her: *laughs* "Yep! Haha, I've also played golf!"
Me: "You are also the first girl I've met that plays golf! ...Just so you know, I have no clue where I'm leading us."
Her: "Haha, that's fine!"
Me: "Let's go over here now.. So was it like a childhood thing then? Or will you be doing some of it in college?"
Her: (Don't remember her answer) "Let's go over to the food!"
Me: "Sweet, I love food! What school did you go to before? Oh right, you live in Wisconsin and wouldn't be going to a school that I know of..."
Her: "Well, I grew up in Minnesota.."
Me: "Oh okay, so you just moved to Wisconsin for college then?"
Her: "Yeah, I grew up in Oakdale.. do you know where that is?"
Me: "Shut up! ...I'm from Oakdale!"
Her: "Really? So you must go to Tartan then!"
Me: "You got me! Haha, so I guess you're very familiar with how little there is to do in our sad little town then huh?"
Her: "Oh yeah.. But now I'm moving to a little town like Oakdale too for college."
Me: "Hopefully not as boring though, right?"
Her: "Well, no... There's (names all sorts of attractions that will never be in my sad little town)"
Me: "Damn.. Wish I could see those in Joke-Dale... So if you ache for adventure and a place more eventful, why'd you choose a small town college then?"
Her: "You get more attention from the professors with a small town college.. There are only about 400 people that'll be on campus."
Me: "Damn..."
Her: "Haha, I actually dream of going to New York when I graduate though."
Me: "Shut up! Like, New York, New York?"
Her: "Yeah, like the Manhattan area!"
Me: "Oh my god, yes! You and I are off to a really good start."
Her: *laughs*
Me: "So why do you want to move there? I can tell you why I want to afterwards."
Her: "Well, for starters, there's Broadway."
Me: "Oh, so you're really big into theatre?" *she nodds* "So you are musical then..."
Her: "Yeah, Les Miserable is like my favorite musical."
Me: "You're kidding me.. The first time I saw that was on the big screen with Hugh Jackman and them... Afterwards I loved it so much, I watched the stage versions on Youtube during meals... When you eat, there's no better place to eat than in front of the computer."
Her: "Right?"
Me: "Anyway, I found the stage versions on Youtube and first watched the 25th anniversary."
Her: "Awww...."
Me: "I ended up watching the 10th anniversary soon after though."
Her: "Okay, good! The 10th anniversary is WAY better."
Me: "I thought so too. I thought the... Not Valjean, though his actor was better too.... Javair! I thought the Javair from the 10th edition was perfect for the part! He literally had the perfect face, voice, and facial expressions for the part."
Her: "I really liked him too! I liked Eponine."
Me: "I did too, but I think I preferred the Eponine from 25."
Her: "Samantha Barks?"
Me: "Yeah, I personally loved how she displayed the emotions in 'on my own'..."
Her: "Yeah, she is pretty good.. I like Lea Salonga though!"
Me: "The Asian girl?"
Her: "Haha, yes!"
Me: "I thought she was great too. Though I liked her better as Fantine."
Her: "Yeah, she did great both times. Personally, I think Nick Jonas ruined the whole 25th anniversary though."
Me: "You're not a Jonas Brother's fan?"
Her: "Heck no!"
Me: "Okay, you are way too cool for me not to meet up with you again."
Her: "Haha, thank you!"
Me: *pull out phone* "What's your number? Is it a (twin cities area code)?"
Her: "No, it's a (some Wisconsin area code)"
Me: "Okay.. (I type in the area code as she proceeds to give me the rest of the number)... God, I am so bad with names!"
Her: "Hayley!"
Me: "I want to see if I can spell it right..."
Her: "Haha, you probably wont!"
Me: "Is it spelled weirdly?"
Her: "Kinda... It's H-A-Y-L-E-Y."
Me: "Okay, saved. So anyway, can I put you on the spot for a second?"
Her: "Um... sure!"
Me: "Can I see you act?"
Her mom appeared out of nowhere after that and pointed at her watch.. I had intended to keep the mini date going after the number swap, but unfortunately, she had to go.
Her: "I gotta go. Nice meeting you though!"
Me: "Yeah, you too! Can I get a hug goodbye?"
Her: "Sure!" (First hug of my pickup career where the girl actually embraced me for real instead of just giving me an awkward lean hug.)
Me: "And when do you think we can meet up again?"
Her: "Um.. I'm not sure..."
Me: "Do you want me to just text you then?"
Her: "Sure!"
Me: "Okay, I'll do that!" (I waved goodbye to both her and her mom and texted the her as I left so she could have my number)
Things I did well:
1) Finally, I got a successful mini date!
2) My non-verbals are far more sharp. I focus less on what I say than I do on how I say it.
3) I held the girl's hand longer, found ways to get her to invest in me, moved her, and had the best conversation with a girl I've found randomly so far.
Things that need improvement:
1) Not sure the mom liked me for dragging her daughter away like that. I need to find a way to give the mom more attention.
2) My speech needs slowing, and I need my emotions to show more subtly.
3) I won't always get this lucky with girls and need to be better prepared for when the two of us don't relate as easily
Realizations:
1) Anything that makes a person change what they were originally doing is making them invest. This was the reason I had her hold both my keys and my guitar pick.
2) Moving the girl makes the conversation ten times easier.
3) Cheap goods isn't the only thing you can find at Wal-Mart
Though I only got to approach one girl today, I walked out far more satisfied than I've felt before. I'm pretty sure I had a gigantic grin on my face the whole ride home that caused some people to stare. More progress baby!
