@Brown.Roberto,
I went to a local bar with a friend who ending up leaving a little while after we got there. For about 30-45 minutes I was alone and too afraid to approach girls but I wouldn't let myself leave until I opened at least one girl so I literally walked in circles around the venue.
Well done sticking to that "got to approach" goal.
Eventually I went up to 2 girls that I found attractive and asked them to choose between my two colognes that were on my wrists. I was using this opener throughout the night and it works really well, lots of girls asking me to smell them, holding my wrists while they go back and forth, etc. The interaction went well but eventually I ran out of things to say to keep in interesting and they left to use the bathroom, probably to get away from me. Overall maybe a 5-7 minute interaction.
That is fine.
You're going to have stuff like that when you're getting your bearings.
Later on you'll want to learn to eject before things fully stall out. It makes you the one exiting instead of them which lets you feel better and can keep them open to a re-approach potentially later (especially if they see you with other girls into you).
But when you're starting you want to stick in your convos longer and overcome the urge to bail, just to build up your tolerance to social discomfort and get better at reading women's signals. Plus it forces you to figure out how to keep your interactions going longer and working better.
We got onto the topic of dancing and she said that she was sad that the dance floor was closed tonight because she wanted to dance. I took this as an IOI and told her we should go to the makeshift dance floor that people had made by the DJ but she said she wanted to stay sitting, so I guess I was wrong.
When you hear stuff like this that you think is an invitation, you want to file it away mentally for a few minutes, then try it out.
If you do it right away it looks reactive, like you were just hanging around waiting for her to give you an opening and then you jumped all over it.
Instead it should go:
HER: I wish the dance floor wasn't close tonight. I just wanna dance!
YOU: It's probably some old fogey running this joint. Dude has arthritis and hasn't danced in 25 years!
HER: Haha.
YOU: So blah blah [change topics]
... 3 MINUTES LATER ...
YOU: Hey, what do you think of that makeshift dance floor over there? Think that looks fun? [feeling her out to see if she's down]
Then if she seems excited/into it, you invite her over there.
If she doesn't you just drop it and continue the conversation in another direction.
At one point her friends left and it was just us alone. I'm not sure what kind of moves I should make at this point, but I ended up getting her to text me something she had on her phone so that I would have her number. Her friends came back and slowly the energy died down. I was there for 20-30 minutes, it is hard to remember exactly. At one point the girl I was into half-whispered to her friend "he's creepy" (it is possible that I misheard it I'm not sure). I thought this was strange because up to now the girl that I liked was smiling and laughing. I don't know if I was teasing her too much or what.
It was too long hanging around without further the seduction any.
Once you're talking to a girl 10 minutes max you want to move her somewhere. Get her to go get shots with you, move to another part of the bar, etc. If you can't do that you either need to leave for a bit and reconnect with her later, or else find a ton of other compliance you can get her to give you.
Basically you just need her investing a lot more than she likely was.
If it goes on 20-30 minutes and she's not investing any more and the conversation is just staying in place, she is going to start to ask herself, "Where is this going? What is he trying to achieve?" and not really be able to answer that.
It starts to feel awkward, and the attraction she had earlier turns into more and more awkwardness.
The friends probably left the two of you alone to see if you'd get closer / move her anywhere. When that didn't happen, they returned, figuring it was probably not going to fly.
A lot of the time girls will go out with the group knowing this or the other girl is single and looking.
She may well have liked you early on. It just went stale for too long.
You'll get better at avoiding that and getting girls sucked in, following your lead, investing, and moving around with you as you go.
Anyway, I asked "what did you say?" and she said "nothing". I am wondering if I should have pushed her here to get her to admit what she said or just brush it off?
"Creepy" is the
Label of Doom in a seduction.
I don't know if there's really a comeback from that.
I can tell you for situations where it is clear you have overstayed your welcome and people are starting to view you as a 'social burden', you want to exit immediately and be super cool about it:
"All righty. I had a lot of fun talking with you! I love that you [something cool about her]. You and you, I didn't get to talk with you two so much, but if you're half as cool as Yvonne I'm sure you're awesome. I'm going to go scout the place out a bit more. See you ladies around!"
Then you just do not approach again unless you're getting an obvious approach invitation beckoning you back.
If you leave on a high point like this where you are acting very expressive and happy and cool, sometimes the girls will light up and be very friendly and gracious as you go, which makes you look good to any girls paying attention (i.e., your next targets).
I didn't say anything about it and I left within about 5 minutes. I think that I probably should have left the set wayyy sooner, but I was alone and it seemed like we were all getting along. I don't know, I'm open to all thoughts on what I could do better next time.
Great job sticking with the approaching and finding a girl who seemed to like you -- even her friends left her alone with you! -- even if it didn't go the distance.
You did well.
Keep at it, man!
Chase
