FR First official outing, major improvement but I have many questions

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Ive only cold approached about 5 times in my life. All of them being unfocused attempts at meeting women. This time around I had absorbed Meet girls everywhere and had been working on talking to strangers for about a month prior, so it felt different this time going out to meet women. Now for the outing:

I had just finished class on my college campus and decided to meet girls. (keep in mind here that due to my inexperience these approaches are very short; I barely make it past the opener)

Girl #1:

We were both walking in the same direction, the stairs leading up to the building had a ramp right next to it. A divider separating ramp and stairs. I was on the ramp she was on the stairs. When she had climbed the stairs and was close to the entrance of the building, I stopped her:

Me: "excuse me, excuse me"

Her: (looks at me patiently)

Me: "I was just over there (points to ramp) and I noticed how pretty you are. I just wanted to say hi"
I know I was doing some gestures while saying this, I forgot which ones and my voice was on point, fluctuations and everything, definitely a raw approach

Her: (Confused smile)

Me: "I'm kupid (I said my actual name but using my pen name here for anonymity), what's your name?"

Her: "I'm x (I forgot her name lol), I have a boyfriend (like I haven't heard that one before, could be true tho)

Me: (warm smile and said with a warm voice)"Oh okay, well it was nice meeting you"

[End of approach]

Girl 2:

Now a minute or 2 later as I'm walking around I see this girl dressed in a school girl outfit with a great ass and good breasts. A million thoughts are going on in my head. She's so far away from me. Im debating in my mind whether I can jog all the way up to her before she gets into one of the school buildings. I don't do it. Failed approach. After she left I realized two things, if I had jogged after her, people around me would have no idea why I'm jogging and they probably will not care or question my intentions. Secondly, When I am talking to her, people will assume we know each other. So now if I have that situation again (which I probably will), I know what to do. What do you guys think, could I have jogged after her?

Girl 3:

I'm walking by a bunch of benches and I see one girl on a bench that looks cute. She is studying on her laptop it appears. I realize that it will be hard to approach her while she's studying, so I walk past her. but then I start thinking to myself how I need to approach and that I will not be given ideal circumstances most of the time. I stop walking, stare out into the distance for a bit, then turn around. I go up and approach her:

Me: "Hey I was just walking by and I noticed how pretty you looked and I wanted to come say hi"

Her: (she looks more uncomfortable with this than girl one) "oh hi"

Me: "Can I sit?"

Her: (she nods her head)

Me: (I sit)

Me: "So what are you up to?"

Her: (her facial expressions her body language her voice they all say she is uncomfortable) "I'm studying English"

Basically since she said hi I've been debating in my head if I should leave or if I should keep pushing

Me: "oh English is so boring, I remember taking that in high school"

Her: (she nods and makes a face that tells me she is not enjoying this)

I decide to leave, I don't know how to make this get any better, and I fear creeping her out

Me: "Well it was nice meeting you" (I get up to leave)

[End of approach}

Could I have kept going? What do you guys think? If I could, how should I approach it?

Girl 4:

I see a girl far away walking towards one of the school buildings. I tell myself I'm not going to make the same mistake as last time. I jog after her but I'm too late, she gets into the building. I don't know how to approach a girl inside, I'm thinking I can't tell her I noticed her outside the building and I decided to come in because that would be creepy. Im already walking towards the building at this point, I figure it would look weird if turned around after having jogged here so I walk in the building. I see her waiting for the elevator. She's more beautiful than I thought. I just walk by. Failed approach. I think I would have used the frontal approach here but I don't have the confidence to pull it off. Next time going to try a front approach. How would you guys have approached this situation?

All in all this outing lasted only 20 minutes because after the 10 o'clock classes start everyone is inside so I can't approach anyone.

 

[Chase]

Nice work here, @brokenheartlover1.

The first approaches are the most intimidating, but your thinking here seems clear, and your instincts are on point.

If you keep at it, this is going to get a lot easier for you.

Remarks:

Girl 2:

Now a minute or 2 later as I'm walking around I see this girl dressed in a school girl outfit with a great ass and good breasts. A million thoughts are going on in my head. She's so far away from me. Im debating in my mind whether I can jog all the way up to her before she gets into one of the school buildings. I don't do it. Failed approach. After she left I realized two things, if I had jogged after her, people around me would have no idea why I'm jogging and they probably will not care or question my intentions. Secondly, When I am talking to her, people will assume we know each other. So now if I have that situation again (which I probably will), I know what to do. What do you guys think, could I have jogged after her?

Your realizations are correct.

And yes -- you could absolutely have jogged after her.

No one's going to pay attention, unless you are just out there jogging after girls all day long.

If it's just a here and there thing, nobody will notice, and jogging after girls works about as often as approaching them any other way.

Girl 3:

I'm walking by a bunch of benches and I see one girl on a bench that looks cute. She is studying on her laptop it appears. I realize that it will be hard to approach her while she's studying, so I walk past her. but then I start thinking to myself how I need to approach and that I will not be given ideal circumstances most of the time. I stop walking, stare out into the distance for a bit, then turn around. I go up and approach her:

Me: "Hey I was just walking by and I noticed how pretty you looked and I wanted to come say hi"

Her: (she looks more uncomfortable with this than girl one) "oh hi"

Me: "Can I sit?"

Her: (she nods her head)

Me: (I sit)

Me: "So what are you up to?"

Her: (her facial expressions her body language her voice they all say she is uncomfortable) "I'm studying English"

Basically since she said hi I've been debating in my head if I should leave or if I should keep pushing

Me: "oh English is so boring, I remember taking that in high school"

Her: (she nods and makes a face that tells me she is not enjoying this)

I decide to leave, I don't know how to make this get any better, and I fear creeping her out

Me: "Well it was nice meeting you" (I get up to leave)

[End of approach}

Could I have kept going? What do you guys think? If I could, how should I approach it?

All right, so -- good awareness recognizing she was uncomfortable.

A few general rules:

• Don't make things any more uncomfortable than they already are. If you approach a girl, and she isn't comfortable, don't make it MORE uncomfortable by sitting with her (or putting your arm around her, etc.). Instead, see if you can get her to relax before you make things even closer
  
  
• Also, sometimes if a girl is just really uncomfortable on your approach, it's best to just cut your losses and get out. Maybe your approach was off, or maybe she's super socially awkward, or who knows what it is. Either way recovering from that is tough even for experienced guys, and probably not where you want to put your energies when new. The easiest out is to always just act like you just realized something and say, "Gosh, you know what, I thought you were somebody else. I'm sorry! Have a good one!" and dash off

Girl 4:

I see a girl far away walking towards one of the school buildings. I tell myself I'm not going to make the same mistake as last time. I jog after her but I'm too late, she gets into the building. I don't know how to approach a girl inside, I'm thinking I can't tell her I noticed her outside the building and I decided to come in because that would be creepy. Im already walking towards the building at this point, I figure it would look weird if turned around after having jogged here so I walk in the building. I see her waiting for the elevator. She's more beautiful than I thought. I just walk by. Failed approach. I think I would have used the frontal approach here but I don't have the confidence to pull it off. Next time going to try a front approach. How would you guys have approached this situation?

Just draw up next to her waiting for the elevator as if you have somewhere to head to to. Chat her up while waiting. Once you board, wait for her to pick her floor. If she seems to be receptive, go to the same floor as her for more time to talk. If she doesn't, pick a floor above hers and try to turn it around in the elevator. If it's still not going anywhere, keep going up, then head back down and leave. If it's going well, get off the same floor as her... if she asks weren't you going higher you just tell her yeah, I'll head up there in a minute, and number close her.

I like elevators. I have picked up in elevators multiple times. One of my past girlfriends came from an elevator approach. They're a nice form of "captive audience" game, where you're forced to be efficient... which I think makes things more fun.

Anyway! Off to a great start -- keep at it!

Chase

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Nice work here, @brokenheartlover1.

The first approaches are the most intimidating, but your thinking here seems clear, and your instincts are on point.

If you keep at it, this is going to get a lot easier for you.

Remarks:



Your realizations are correct.

And yes -- you could absolutely have jogged after her.

No one's going to pay attention, unless you are just out there jogging after girls all day long.

If it's just a here and there thing, nobody will notice, and jogging after girls works about as often as approaching them any other way.



All right, so -- good awareness recognizing she was uncomfortable.

A few general rules:

• Don't make things any more uncomfortable than they already are. If you approach a girl, and she isn't comfortable, don't make it MORE uncomfortable by sitting with her (or putting your arm around her, etc.). Instead, see if you can get her to relax before you make things even closer
  
  
• Also, sometimes if a girl is just really uncomfortable on your approach, it's best to just cut your losses and get out. Maybe your approach was off, or maybe she's super socially awkward, or who knows what it is. Either way recovering from that is tough even for experienced guys, and probably not where you want to put your energies when new. The easiest out is to always just act like you just realized something and say, "Gosh, you know what, I thought you were somebody else. I'm sorry! Have a good one!" and dash off

Just draw up next to her waiting for the elevator as if you have somewhere to head to to. Chat her up while waiting. Once you board, wait for her to pick her floor. If she seems to be receptive, go to the same floor as her for more time to talk. If she doesn't, pick a floor above hers and try to turn it around in the elevator. If it's still not going anywhere, keep going up, then head back down and leave. If it's going well, get off the same floor as her... if she asks weren't you going higher you just tell her yeah, I'll head up there in a minute, and number close her.

I like elevators. I have picked up in elevators multiple times. One of my past girlfriends came from an elevator approach. They're a nice form of "captive audience" game, where you're forced to be efficient... which I think makes things more fun.

Anyway! Off to a great start -- keep at it!

Chase

Thank you Chase. Will keep in mind!