First-Year Report Card ;)

[Marty]

At around 1:30 PM on May 9, 2013, I cold-approached a woman in the street for the first time in my life. It was a hopelessly clumsy effort, it was all over in a couple minutes, she wasn't anything to write home about anyway, and it took me almost a week to recover before I could repeat the exercise. Nonetheless, an important watershed had been breached. As is the case with significant moments, I remember the exact location, as well as the feeling of exhiliration I experienced afterward... I'd done it!

I have kept meticulous records since that date, and as the final day of my year's seduction experience draws to a close, here is my First-Year Report Card:

• 
  234 women opened for me when I approached them.
  
  76 women gave me their phone numbers*.
  
  15 women went on a date* with me.
  
  8 women let me kiss† them on the mouth.
  
  3 women are still talking to me after I kissed them. (Haha!)
  
  1 woman slept with me.
  
  *—Two more from social circle not included.
  
  †—One of these was from very peripheral social circle. I was introduced to her for the first time the night I kissed her, and have never seen her again since (and very likely never will).

Reviewing the above statistics, several important points come to mind:

• The total number of women opened is still too low. It equates to about one every 36 hours; that's a sight better than in the previous 20 years, but it's not good enough yet. This number can be upped a couple ways: by avoiding awkwardness or misreads that cause women not to open when approached maybe 10% of the time; but more importantly, by overcoming pre-approach anxiety (I guess this dissipates completely after a few years or maybe several thousand approaches).
  
• The ratio of dates to phone numbers is too low. As I always ask for a date before contact details, it means that 4 out of 5 girls are effectively lying to me about their intention to come out on a date. Don't know how to fix this one; all intelligent ideas welcome. Maybe somehow prescreen and select less flaky girls. A change of location might help, perhaps.
  
• Why are only 3 out of 8 girls I kissed still talking to me? This is the one that bugs me worst of all. There's seemingly nothing crueller than giving a man a taste and then immediately cutting all contact with him. I want to find a way of improving this ratio, and again will be appreciative of smart ideas.

On the positive side, as I mentioned recently in encouragement to another member, during the past year, I have met more wonderful women, and spent more time speaking with them, than in the 20 previous years combined: i.e., all my adult life. I have left an impression in the lives of dozens of women, and they in mine. Some of the conversations have been enlightening, some uplifting, some merely friendly and carefree. I've met girls who do fascinating things I've barely dreamed about: a surgeon, a central banker, a champion swimmer, a cheerleader, and a cartoon illustrator, to name but a few. Not to mention a healthy serving of lawyers, accountants, interior decorators, marketers, investment advisers, researchers, social workers, and, of course, undergraduates in a whole host of disciplines, some of which I'd never heard of before This process, thanks to Chase Amante, has liberated me to become a different person.

Finally, just for fun, here are a couple graphs:

-Marty

 

[Godsninja]

Wow this is fucking cool!

Your an inspiration to me, because I don't keep track at all really, I just go and meet people, but this is actually a great idea.

What exactly would be considered an 'open', and what is not? I really want to know the exact point where it's an open, and where it is not. I was wondering about this earlier when I was trying to figure out my goal for how many girls I want to open for that day.

Also, did you write all the details of each day, and is that how you have the location, day, and time, of each open and date?

As for the dates, is that where you met them, or is that where you took them on a date?

Lastly... I thought it was impolite to ask a woman their age lol. Perhaps that's just was how I was raised. What ya think?

 

[Mr.Rob]

(I guess this dissipates completely after a few years or maybe several thousand approaches).

I'm inclined to believe this isn't the case Marts. There are some days (when I have good social momentum) that I have no fear and open women in situations I normally wouldn't without a second thought (as a result these ones usually go much better because I snap them out of their bubble and into mine).
Then there are days where I feel like a complete newb all over again.

I watched an RSD video where this guy that had been in seduction for 12 years was still having A.A. in certain situations.

I don't think it ever goes all the way away, you just get better at telling your emotions to fuck off and do it anyway. Mental fortitude.

-----------------------------------

I like this report card pretty cool to read and speculate on. It makes you wonder if the data from the graphs really means anything or if it were more coincidence.

Honestly I can't believe you kept up with the specifics to the bone so well... like its a bit scary.

I speculate the reason the girls that kissed you dropped contact was because they found your "Marty's Date Chart Statistics" in your backpocket when you weren't looking .

Honestly I wish I would've kept up with mine as I'd be interested to see what mine are... lol I can only imagine my graph for my ratio of girls approached to girls taken on dates. I might cry.

Talk at you down the road.

-Rob

 

[trashKENNUT]

You one of the few people that approach a lot, recently. I believe your results should be slightly higher than this. But nevermind. I see if i can help you in anything.

Zac

 

[Marty]

Rob:

I don't think it ever goes all the way away, you just get better at telling your emotions to fuck off and do it anyway. Mental fortitude.

Great piece of support, Rob, thank you.

Honestly I can't believe you kept up with the specifics to the bone so well... like its a bit scary.

Rob there's nothing clever or complex here whatsoever. All I did was log the date, time, girl's name, location (e.g. street intersection) and phone number if she gave it. If a date materializes, I place a check mark against the entry. Anything more exciting than that... well frankly it's such a rare occurrence, I can remember it

Then yesterday I took about 90 minutes to pull together the analysis. I used to do that sort crap for a living until about 5 years ago (since then I mainly supervise others doing it). The location one was hard to classify, else it'd have been done in a half-hour.

Zac:

I believe your results should be slightly higher than this.

You're right. I'm lazy... this report can "shame" me into doing better

I see if i can help you in anything.

Yes please ☺

God's Ninja:

Also, did you write all the details of each day, and is that how you have the location, day, and time, of each open and date?

No I didn't. See my response to Rob above.

As for the dates, is that where you met them, or is that where you took them on a date?

All the data (day, time, location) refer to the approach. The point is to understand whether any of those factors affect success. For example, I opened nearly a quarter of total girls between 8 AM and 11:59 AM but not a single one of those went on a date with me. Those approached in the early evening however show a disproportionately high success rate. Similarly, Sundays seem to be far and away the best day to open a girl if I want a date (this may be coincidence, whether it is statistically significant or not I have no idea—I did say it was just for fun!).

Lastly... I thought it was impolite to ask a woman their age lol. Perhaps that's just was how I was raised. What ya think?

It's just how you were raised. So was I—I'm trying to get over it. Asking her age does several great things for you:

• It shows you're not gonna treat her with kid gloves
• It gets the focus on her and may get her qualifying herself to you
• It gives you a talking-point (e.g. "what are you studying?")
• It preempts any bullshit age objections ("I think you're a little bit old for me." "What?? I thought you said were 18!" LOL)
• It gives you reassurance if in doubt: appearances can be deceptive (in both directions).

What exactly would be considered an 'open', and what is not? I really want to know the exact point where it's an open, and where it is not. I was wondering about this earlier when I was trying to figure out my goal for how many girls I want to open for that day.

Here's a couple examples of what would NOT be counted in the above tally at all:

• 
  Marty: That's a lovely dress, suits you beautifully!
  
  Girl: Oh thank you! (walks off)

Or:

• 
  Girl: (smiles at Marty as she passes)
  
  Marty: (turning round and catching up) You have a cute smile!
  
  Girl: Huh?
  
  Marty: I said you have a cute smile.
  
  Girl: Thank you, I really appreciate that.
  
  Marty: What's your name?
  
  Girl: Uh... I'm going this way. Goodbye.

Both of those are absolutely genuine, real examples of where a girl failed to open and therefore they are completely excluded from the numbers. I had a couple more recently too. It can be that she's not in the mood, or more likely it can be that my body language is off somehow, and it comes across uncomfortable.

This is uncommon however. To be included as a girl who opened, she'd have to give her name, I'd make my intentions absolutely clear and at least request a date (unless she'd preempted that already, with a boyfriend objection for instance).

-Marty

 

[Godsninja]

Ok right on, thanks.

 

[PinotNoir]

I vote for a sticky! Thanks for sharing this. Really awesome and inspirational.

 

[TheWiseFool]

This is great! One question....

1 woman slept with me.

WHAAAAAAAAHTTT!?!?! When did this happen!?!?!

 

[Smith]

Hey Marty,
This is simply inspirational. The fact that you're still grinding and not giving up gives me motivation to keep going as well. Everyone says day game is tough, but you don't really know how tough it is until you get into it.

Approach anxiety is a funny thing. Anxiety comes from the need to get something. I found that when I've dates lined up for the week, I've less anxiety 'approaching' a girl than when I have no dates lined up for the week probably because I don't care if I didn't get her number. But interestingly I don't necessary do better when I have the don't-give-a-shit attitude lol.

Smith

 

[Marty]

Really awesome and inspirational.

This is simply inspirational. The fact that you're still grinding and not giving up gives me motivation to keep going as well. Everyone says day game is tough, but you don't really know how tough it is until you get into it.

That's exactly why I wrote it up. Yes, it's also good for my own motivation to lay down a milestone once every year or so. But it is even more critical to communicate the unembellished truth about how difficult it really is.

What I've noticed in the short time I've been on this forum is that some new members are appearing, then giving up too easily before they achieve any real results. Some have even stated it explicitly, for example expressing frustration that they've opened 10 girls and haven't yet gotten a lay (I won't name names). Not gonna happen (quite obviously), unless you already have a wealth of experience under your belt.

The potential rewards are evident, and almost limitless, but I think it's important for men to have a realistic appreciation for just how much effort is likely required, so that they are not disappointed on account of inaccurate expectations. I know for a fact that it will take me countless hours of work just to get a single coffee date off of cold approach. For me and other beginners here, the chances of converting that date into a lay are exceedingly slim: certainly less than 10%. If you know it's gonna be tough when you go in, it's that much easier to get through it.

My problem is a pitiful lack of experience with women, at least outside of stable romantic relationships. During childhood I had so little natural opposite-sex contact that I might as well have been raised by wild animals, like Mowgli. Treating women subsequently as honorary men has had predictably disastrous results. Yes, I am angry about that, but it is important to direct that anger into something useful.

I found that when I've dates lined up for the week, I've less anxiety 'approaching' a girl than when I have no dates lined up for the week probably because I don't care if I didn't get her number.

This is very true, Smith. Constantly refilling the funnel is possibly the greatest challenge for a beginner. I think it applies to remote communication too... if instead of 6 new phone numbers per month, I had 20, I'm absolutely sure I'd sound more confident on the phone with the girls I do speak to, resulting in better date conversion. But I can't see any realistic way to get there... I already commit double-digit hours per week, week in week out, to seeking out girls to open; I can't exactly afford to do it full-time.

-Marty

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Don't have much time here - signing in so I don't forget to come back and read this all. Kudos to you for putting this up Marty! The daygame Gods may bless you with a sexy cheerleader

 

[PinotNoir]

Hey Marty, I'm asking this because I'm curious about it when I get older. Do you feel that it is harder to find women (or even single women) around your age during day game? I assume grocery stores are probably still good, but usually packed with married women if they're older. I just don't see a lot of older women walking the streets. I like women that are my age or older, so I'm just wondering if I'll need to change where I frequent in the future.

Also, have you tried any unusual places? A place that is not usually suggested. For me, it's the park (I know you love it there too), malls, grocery stores, and coffee shops, but I haven't really thought of an atypical place. I've heard that meetup groups are a good place too, but haven't tried them.

 

[Marty]

Pinot,

Do you feel that it is harder to find women (or even single women) around your age during day game? I assume grocery stores are probably still good, but usually packed with married women if they're older. I just don't see a lot of older women walking the streets. I like women that are my age or older, so I'm just wondering if I'll need to change where I frequent in the future.

I'm gonna be very straightforward with you about this, because a lot of younger men don't understand it.

A man's age and a woman's age are totally different things. I'm not even looking for women my own age. Women my own age (late thirties) are mostly past their reproductive potential and, generally speaking, hold no interest whatsoever for me.

There are very rare exceptions. There is a woman in my office, 5 years older than me, who has possibly the greatest sex appeal of any woman over 40 I have ever met in my life. She is a VP, one notch higher than me in the management, and is married and has two kids, and I would fuck her in the blink of an eye if I ever got the chance. She's not even beautiful, but she knows how to drive a man wild with her flirtation. With me, she started it the moment I first saw her, when I was interviewing for the job. I was hooked instantly. It is a very, very rare ability. We get along well but I don't have the level of dominance needed to lead her to the bedroom. I get the feeling she's extremely experienced at sending men into a frenzy and enjoys it.

Those exceptions aside, however, it is truly shocking how much more quickly women reach social maturity than men. A 23-year-old girl who is just out of college and has zero business experience can nonetheless hold her own against 40+, highly successful and attractive men, if she knows her stuff, and toy with them until they simply break down in their hopeless infatuation. You won't even notice it when you're younger because she won't even bother with it, she'll save it for men she thinks are a real potential catch. I had a 21-year-old girl do that cat-and-mouse maneuver to me when I was 35 and an expat senior manager, and it essentially destroyed my marriage.

I'm not sure how old you are, Pinot, but I'd wager your preferences will change. When I was in my early twenties, my serious relationships were with girls 3-4 years older than myself. They taught me a lot about life in general, but especially in the bedroom. In my mid-twenties my preferences started to change to girls 3-4 years younger, someone I could lead properly, and now I don't see any woman with an age difference of less than, say, 6 years my junior as a viable option at all... my long-term preference would be 10+ years younger. Remember that if you are going to commit to a relationship, then as you both age, the gap will shrink dramatically over the years in relative terms, so bearing in mind what I said above about maturity, it's gonna bite you in the ass unless the age difference in your favor is adequate.

Also, have you tried any unusual places? A place that is not usually suggested.

Not really. This is the oddest and this is the runner-up. Nothing too exciting, to be honest.

-Marty

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

So:

• 1. You've proven the ridiculous hypothesis true - a man can slay juicy poon just by approaching a honey on the street. Evidence keeps piling up. Hope I can add to it
  
  2. Assuming your skills remain stagnant - which they won't - approaching 10 girls a day (or 70 a week) should give you a lay in a month.
  
  3. > 30 year olds are your biggest customers in terms of dates (matches up with what Franco's said in the forums). However, it doesn't matter much because dates are hard to close from. Have you given up on night street game by the way? Now that you have all this new experience...

What did you mean by "Venue" in your location chart, though? I noticed a pretty high conversion rate to dates there.

 

[Marty]

GP:

What did you mean by "Venue" in your location chart, though? I noticed a pretty high conversion rate to dates there.

Yeah, I noticed that too.

I wanted to call it "Establishment" but there wasn't enough space on the charts. It's a blanket category for an assortment of customer service business premises where my approach is (obviously!) incidental to the main purpose of the venue Here are some examples of what was included:

• Coffee-shop (4)
• Parking garage (2)
• Botanical garden (2)
• Nightclub (2)
• Ice rink (2)
• Fast-food joint (1)
• Health club (1)
• Restaurant (1)

You've proven the ridiculous hypothesis true - a man can slay juicy poon just by approaching a honey on the street. Evidence keeps piling up.

That's the best bit about the whole thing, Gentle Phrases! I come home from a date thinking to myself: "When you saw that girl the first time, just sitting there / standing there / walking her dog, did you ever think you'd really kiss her?" I want it to happen to you too, Gentle Phrases, and soon

Have you given up on night street game by the way? Now that you have all this new experience...

Basically, I'm a man who needs his sleep. I did number-close a pretty lady around 11 PM a few weeks ago, though nothing came of it ... I should have pushed for an immediate close, but I was actually on the way to meet another girl.

That did give me a taste for it again though... the nice thing about it is that the opening feels a lot less "out of place" than in day-game, and I'll do things easily (such as multiple female-group approaches) that would intimidate me in the daytime. However, it's totally unforgiving of any failure to move fast.

I think if I do it again I'll stick to early evening (before midnight)... the closing-time thing just isn't for me in terms of how I feel the next day.

May the daygame Gods bless you with a sexy cheerleader

Thank you, GP! Much appreciated I'm sure

-Marty

 

[Teparus]

I've been really impressed with your improvements, Marty, and seeing you soldier on is inspiring.

When I first started reading your FRs, I was like "Ah, man, this guy has a lot to learn."

Now, I often look and say, "Ah, man, I could learn a lot from this guy."

Keep plugging away, man. I suspect year 2 will be a breakthrough year for you. You've been tracking your process and know your weak points -- my perspective is that you should really be focusing as much as you can on increasing your numbers from start to finish. Get better at getting girls out on dates first, because that will give you more practice for every later step of your process.

Chase's article on the matter:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/what-do-when-girls-flake

Also, if you're primarily communicating post date with texts...spend the time to go through EVERY SINGLE TEXT that you send to a woman after the approach and before the first date or the ultimate flake. See if you can come up with anything categorically different between them and zero in on making that a part of your process. Maybe even share them here and get some critiques from the more advanced guys.

 

[Teparus]

When I was in my early twenties, my serious relationships were with girls 3-4 years older than myself. They taught me a lot about life in general, but especially in the bedroom. In my mid-twenties my preferences started to change to girls 3-4 years younger

I can relate to this so exactly, as a 26 year old guy. Before my last LTR, I was always looking at women 1-2 years older than me...nowadays I tend to look 3-6 years younger than me.