My most recent experience will highlight my issues:
What worked:
Was in a low-key bar, not loud, perfect for engaging conversation. I came with a girl and 2 co-workers. The girl in our party was coming onto me (she's cute, not too cute), any girl in the vicinity would notice her giving me attention though. Was buzzed, confident, no anxiety. Noticed a gorgeous girl staring at me for a noticeably long time (blatant for ~5 sec.). I Kind of smirked at her and held eye contact until she looked away. I bullshitted with my for about 15 min. and then walked up to her, she was with 1 girlfriend (the friend was not hot but not horribly ugly) and introduced myself - touched both their hands (handshake/light hand contact, not formal). I Asked them what they did, made sure to not totally ignore her friend but was obvious who I was interested in talking to. She was impressed and opened up immediately to my inquiries - I work for a fairly prestigious investment company and made sure she asked me what I did (wasn't trying to show too much value). She asked me where I live (great sign) - told me where she lived - shit is looking good.
The rest
My buddy came over and started talking to them - he was focused on the hottie too and I walked away to the girl we came with and made bubbly convo. Made sure to smile and laugh, very carefree. I came back later and talked to them some more - got her to give me a football game score prediction (game was tomorrow). My group called me over, time to leave. So I went back to her and asked for her number, told her we were leaving, she looked at me and I just blankly stared off into the distance holding my phone out - she put her # in. My group dilly-dallied on leaving and the hottie+friend actually left before us. I saw them leave and she looked at me, I didn't say "bye".
I texted her about 5-10 min later -
ME- "hey it's Matt"
HER- "Hey!"
~1HR Later~
Me- "what are yall doing" -- (yall is accepted vernacular here)
no response
Her score prediction was horribly off, the next day I texted her -
ME - "so this girl at the bar last night said the Gators would win 37-20, my god was she wrong"
Her - "Must have been someone else... I have no idea what you are talking about
At this point my phone died for 3 hrs, she actually sent the same message twice - she's prob. not used to getting no response to flirty texts like that, she's total babe
I will skip the exact texts from here but I invited her to the beach the next day - after probably attempting too much banter on text. She said she was going to a football game (likely true here in Jackonsville, Florida - opening NFL game). I then continued too much banter - gave a score prediction of my own for fun - she never replied.
I saw her at another bar that night - 4 hrs after these texts. She looked at me first, I knew she was there but showed genuine "recognition surprise" and gave a great smile. She gave an inviting smile back. She was surrounded by ugly dudes so I figured I would wait for a more opportune time. I actually talked to another girl while I waited to strike. When I came back she was gone.
SELF CRITIQUE:
-->Needed to make attempt to move her from her friend and the bar - maybe go to outside patio area
-->Should have texted her back immediately after she texted back "hey!"
-->Should have used "what are you doing" instead of "what are yall doing" in text
-->Should have asked what she was doing tonight instead of going for tomorrow at the beach
-->Needed to walk right up to her when we made eye contact and introduced myself to the guys who were around her and tried to move her away from there
Clearly I missed some escalation windows and missed a golden second opportunity.
It will still within 48 hours of meeting her tomorrow night.
I would appreciate any insights into how I could have handled this better - I think I know what went wrong. Also any ideas on how to approach this still after my errors would be appreciated. I'm pretty sure she still sees me as high value but auto-rejection will no doubt have set in.
Thanks guys for any tips
What worked:
Was in a low-key bar, not loud, perfect for engaging conversation. I came with a girl and 2 co-workers. The girl in our party was coming onto me (she's cute, not too cute), any girl in the vicinity would notice her giving me attention though. Was buzzed, confident, no anxiety. Noticed a gorgeous girl staring at me for a noticeably long time (blatant for ~5 sec.). I Kind of smirked at her and held eye contact until she looked away. I bullshitted with my for about 15 min. and then walked up to her, she was with 1 girlfriend (the friend was not hot but not horribly ugly) and introduced myself - touched both their hands (handshake/light hand contact, not formal). I Asked them what they did, made sure to not totally ignore her friend but was obvious who I was interested in talking to. She was impressed and opened up immediately to my inquiries - I work for a fairly prestigious investment company and made sure she asked me what I did (wasn't trying to show too much value). She asked me where I live (great sign) - told me where she lived - shit is looking good.
The rest
My buddy came over and started talking to them - he was focused on the hottie too and I walked away to the girl we came with and made bubbly convo. Made sure to smile and laugh, very carefree. I came back later and talked to them some more - got her to give me a football game score prediction (game was tomorrow). My group called me over, time to leave. So I went back to her and asked for her number, told her we were leaving, she looked at me and I just blankly stared off into the distance holding my phone out - she put her # in. My group dilly-dallied on leaving and the hottie+friend actually left before us. I saw them leave and she looked at me, I didn't say "bye".
I texted her about 5-10 min later -
ME- "hey it's Matt"
HER- "Hey!"
~1HR Later~
Me- "what are yall doing" -- (yall is accepted vernacular here)
no response
Her score prediction was horribly off, the next day I texted her -
ME - "so this girl at the bar last night said the Gators would win 37-20, my god was she wrong"
Her - "Must have been someone else... I have no idea what you are talking about
At this point my phone died for 3 hrs, she actually sent the same message twice - she's prob. not used to getting no response to flirty texts like that, she's total babe
I will skip the exact texts from here but I invited her to the beach the next day - after probably attempting too much banter on text. She said she was going to a football game (likely true here in Jackonsville, Florida - opening NFL game). I then continued too much banter - gave a score prediction of my own for fun - she never replied.
I saw her at another bar that night - 4 hrs after these texts. She looked at me first, I knew she was there but showed genuine "recognition surprise" and gave a great smile. She gave an inviting smile back. She was surrounded by ugly dudes so I figured I would wait for a more opportune time. I actually talked to another girl while I waited to strike. When I came back she was gone.
SELF CRITIQUE:
-->Needed to make attempt to move her from her friend and the bar - maybe go to outside patio area
-->Should have texted her back immediately after she texted back "hey!"
-->Should have used "what are you doing" instead of "what are yall doing" in text
-->Should have asked what she was doing tonight instead of going for tomorrow at the beach
-->Needed to walk right up to her when we made eye contact and introduced myself to the guys who were around her and tried to move her away from there
Clearly I missed some escalation windows and missed a golden second opportunity.
It will still within 48 hours of meeting her tomorrow night.
I would appreciate any insights into how I could have handled this better - I think I know what went wrong. Also any ideas on how to approach this still after my errors would be appreciated. I'm pretty sure she still sees me as high value but auto-rejection will no doubt have set in.
Thanks guys for any tips
