Hey,
I found 4 places and I will go on with them. They are not all good but I will try.
1) Street in the center (this has the most women)
2) A big store with many things (some young women but they were many with their parents, they were students at university)
3) Small grocery store near campus (some young ladies)
4) Starbucks
I put the places in order in terms of quantity. I went also to campus but it was dead of people, I don't know if it was the day, usually it has more traffic and I will check it again.
Basically only the center has lots of women, the other places aren't so good, and maybe it's easier to start with ladies that are not walking. Dunno.
Anyway I will continue with thess and see how it is going.
I found 4 places and I will go on with them. They are not all good but I will try.
1) Street in the center (this has the most women)
2) A big store with many things (some young women but they were many with their parents, they were students at university)
3) Small grocery store near campus (some young ladies)
4) Starbucks
I put the places in order in terms of quantity. I went also to campus but it was dead of people, I don't know if it was the day, usually it has more traffic and I will check it again.
Basically only the center has lots of women, the other places aren't so good, and maybe it's easier to start with ladies that are not walking. Dunno.
Anyway I will continue with thess and see how it is going.
I started Day 4 yesterday but it was harder than I thought. I had 1/2 hour and didn't make even 1 "Hi!".
Mostly I was walking the road and tried to make eye contact with some girls but it was very awkward to say Hi this way, and after about 1 hour I was so closed in my head it was impossible to go and say it.
I was thinking If I go and say Hi and then ask for something e.g. direction it will seem more normal to me, dunno if that counts.
Anyway I will try today if I will end work soon or tommorow.
Mostly I was walking the road and tried to make eye contact with some girls but it was very awkward to say Hi this way, and after about 1 hour I was so closed in my head it was impossible to go and say it.
I was thinking If I go and say Hi and then ask for something e.g. direction it will seem more normal to me, dunno if that counts.
Anyway I will try today if I will end work soon or tommorow.
Day 4
This is my 4thd time I tried day 4.
The second and the third that I haven't mentioned I said Hi to 1 women that we crossed on the road, we had no eye contact and it was just out of their reality, awkward enough.
I tried one more time today no success, I don't know why beside that I didn't made progress I feel a very positive vibe that I will make it. I am thinking that I can't proceed any further if I won't handle this, and every little step that I make it makes me feel amazing.
I went at university and in the mall I make some small chats with the workers there but didn't make the Hi challenge with a stranger. Also I walked on the road for some time nothing again.
I think that I have to focus on my part to make it, If I wait to make eye contact with the other its very time consuming and there are days that I do not meet any women holding the eye contact when she comes cross me. I guess they are also shy.
Anyway I understand that I miss opportunities for my day while I waiting and this is a bad habit generally for my progress.
Oh, and the first thing I did today that made me feel awesome and big, was that when I stepped out the door, I greeted a neighbor -while he was walking- that I haven't before and I remember his face was shy and wanted to avoid the eye contact but when I say it, it changed completely and say hi back and I think he wanted to continue from there for some small talk.
I understand that people love and want to talk but we are all facing the same fears that holds us back. I want to become the guy that pass these fears for the both parts.
This is my 4thd time I tried day 4.
The second and the third that I haven't mentioned I said Hi to 1 women that we crossed on the road, we had no eye contact and it was just out of their reality, awkward enough.
I tried one more time today no success, I don't know why beside that I didn't made progress I feel a very positive vibe that I will make it. I am thinking that I can't proceed any further if I won't handle this, and every little step that I make it makes me feel amazing.
I went at university and in the mall I make some small chats with the workers there but didn't make the Hi challenge with a stranger. Also I walked on the road for some time nothing again.
I think that I have to focus on my part to make it, If I wait to make eye contact with the other its very time consuming and there are days that I do not meet any women holding the eye contact when she comes cross me. I guess they are also shy.
Anyway I understand that I miss opportunities for my day while I waiting and this is a bad habit generally for my progress.
Oh, and the first thing I did today that made me feel awesome and big, was that when I stepped out the door, I greeted a neighbor -while he was walking- that I haven't before and I remember his face was shy and wanted to avoid the eye contact but when I say it, it changed completely and say hi back and I think he wanted to continue from there for some small talk.
I understand that people love and want to talk but we are all facing the same fears that holds us back. I want to become the guy that pass these fears for the both parts.
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2016
- Messages
- 263
Glad to see you're persisting even though it's awkward. If it helps, day 4 was pretty tough for me, too - even tougher than the days after it. I'm not a big fan of using just "Hi" as an opener. Mostly because I don't know how to do it cleanly. I noticed a couple things after the fact:
1) I was jumping ahead of the task, thinking about trying to hit goals that were days ahead of this. Part of a larger problem that a lot of people have, trying to swallow the whole pick-up pill in one gulp.
2) It's a simple "Hi", with absolutely no restrictions on what can come after it. You can ask them where the bus stop is, what time it is, or any other question that's totally acceptable to ask a stranger. Chase says you can just end it at "Hi" because the goal is to get that word out of your mouth in the direction of a pretty girl.
Keep at it, though. As hard as it seems now, it's way harder if you stop and try to start again. Best of luck!
1) I was jumping ahead of the task, thinking about trying to hit goals that were days ahead of this. Part of a larger problem that a lot of people have, trying to swallow the whole pick-up pill in one gulp.
2) It's a simple "Hi", with absolutely no restrictions on what can come after it. You can ask them where the bus stop is, what time it is, or any other question that's totally acceptable to ask a stranger. Chase says you can just end it at "Hi" because the goal is to get that word out of your mouth in the direction of a pretty girl.
Keep at it, though. As hard as it seems now, it's way harder if you stop and try to start again. Best of luck!
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2016
- Messages
- 43
Hey Formless
You get points for trying again. Once most guys fail they just give up (myself included). Its feels like you should overcome this barrier but you just can't for some reason. The main reason why you can't, imo, is because you're not. Sounds weird but it's very simple.
When you go out to complete the assignment, you start walking around looking for girls to greet. Then you spot one. You decide ok I'm going for her. Then another thought pops in your head. Can I really just go say Hi? Won't she think I'm strange? And she's kind of far, I have walk faster just to get near. I think I will choose some else. This happens everytime you see a girl. At the end you don't do anything and you think you can't do it.
You totally can. All you need is to shut out those thoughts preventing you. Recently watched Chase's video, where he advises guys to "move their feet towards her". Sounds silly and I haven't tried it yet but I'm sure it will help with the anxiety we feel.
So keep it up man and don't stop trying.
You get points for trying again. Once most guys fail they just give up (myself included). Its feels like you should overcome this barrier but you just can't for some reason. The main reason why you can't, imo, is because you're not. Sounds weird but it's very simple.
When you go out to complete the assignment, you start walking around looking for girls to greet. Then you spot one. You decide ok I'm going for her. Then another thought pops in your head. Can I really just go say Hi? Won't she think I'm strange? And she's kind of far, I have walk faster just to get near. I think I will choose some else. This happens everytime you see a girl. At the end you don't do anything and you think you can't do it.
You totally can. All you need is to shut out those thoughts preventing you. Recently watched Chase's video, where he advises guys to "move their feet towards her". Sounds silly and I haven't tried it yet but I'm sure it will help with the anxiety we feel.
So keep it up man and don't stop trying.
Very nice feeling to get these replies, thank you.
Today I did't tried the task, I just went out with friends for coffee etc. Yesterday I follow your advice
and it was very helpful cause I was trying to make it like a robot and it was way harder, so I ask for direction 2 strangers and it was amazing how I was felt, very receptive both women. For the first one I pushed myself to make and for the second come automatic (it was about 1 min or less after the first one), feeling that it was ok to make it.
Also yesterday I wake up and I din't have any momentum to go out, because I was making it very big in my head. And this is the most incredible thing that I realised. I sad to myself ok you can not make the program but instead just go out for a walk to hold on to the habit of going out alone, and I did make the 2 Hi and I felt amazing.
Something more from yesterday is that I go after to buy a coffee from some neighbour that I knew him but mostly we were saying just a "Hi, how are you?" and some small talk. While I was having the momentum from the previously I push a little bit myself and goes after these small chats and comments on some ornaments (we have christmas here
) and it was fun, much more than any other time, and at the end he said warmly that he pleased that he saw me again and he gave me the coffee for free.I know some may read this and say, so? But it was huge for me.
I know I have not make the day 4 yet and was trying to hold my head on earth after that, but it was a good hi five for myself.
Yes totally agree, and I think the sooner you start the easier it become, at the end only what you have done matters. Not an easy thing though.
I will give a shot tomorrow for day 4.
Hello!
I did my Day 4. And all my openings were for direction on the street. One the first 4 I was holding my mobile on the hand it helped me psychologically to move on. The 5 and 6 were to women close to each other and said Hi and asked them for the same street.
Not sure if it's ok this way. I will go for day 5.
I did my Day 4. And all my openings were for direction on the street. One the first 4 I was holding my mobile on the hand it helped me psychologically to move on. The 5 and 6 were to women close to each other and said Hi and asked them for the same street.
Not sure if it's ok this way. I will go for day 5.