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Verisimilitude

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
461
While this isn't a LR, I'm pretty excited because I now have the time to go out and do one of these and I got a lot of compliance (until the end). I also think there's a lot I can learn and hopefully a couple tidbits for newbies.

Disclaimer: All these details are a little fuzzy, because I was celebrating and I was a little drunker than usual. But I'll work to capture the gist of it.

Background: This was a house party, with a little bit of a dance element. But for the most part, I stayed away from dancing (tip #1 for newbies)

I remember the approach the least. I believe I either approached her with a group of friends (some of whom I already knew), or I approached her on my own and used a situational opener. I think it was the latter, but I can't remember completely. We'll call the girl girl #1.

After we got the introductions out of the way, I started with a couple basic things (small talk) and then quickly moved her within the first five minutes. The music was loud, and I hate trying to talk over it, so I moved her to a quieter area. We sat next to each other on a couch which was perfect because you can get some contact there. She told me that it had been a long, busy week and she was looking to relax a bit. I talked to her a little bit about her work and then did a cold read. Nothing specific, just stuff about how she works hard and plays hard (from the past conversation), that she is independent and ambitious and that she was a dog person. She lit up and said that that perfectly describes her and she is a huge dog person. Now that I had built a little rapport, I started deep diving. Topics like future plans, work, and how great southern women are were just a few examples.

During our conversation, one of my friends started playing his banjo and she got up to dance. I hesitated for a second, then grabbed her hand and started dancing with her. I built plenty of sexual tension here with eye contact, my dancing skills, and touch. I could tell she was really excited and she was interested in me. (This was a different type of dancing than club dancing. I was holding her hands and looking into her eyes, instead of being behind her. I actually think this type of dancing is better for pickup).

This is where I made my first mistake. I had an escalation window and I didn't take it. I should have invited her to my place and after a little more conversation, I could have gone for it. It was a tougher window because she was interested, but still a bit unsure.

Anyways, I sat back down with her and continued talking. There was no one around and again it would have been a good time to pull her, but I missed the window again. This definitely would have been the best time to pull her, especially with what was about to happen.

After a few more minutes, a group of people walked into the room. One of them was a girl who I had met a couple weekends ago but told me she wanted to just be friends. We'll call her girl #2. I told her that I wasn't going to be friends with her, and we had been cool until now. She (girl #2) started trying to cock block me hard. She told girl #1 who I was with that I was a slut and a whore but at least I was cute (at this point I was sitting on a chair with both girls on armrests). Girl #2 was actively trying to engage me, and I made the mistake here by listening to her. Girl #1 got up and started talking to another guy. Girl #2 smiles and tells me "Looks like you lost her", and I smile, look at her and say, "No, I didn't." I stay calm and I can tell that its bothering girl #2 (it also bothers her that I'm not giving her much attention). She gets angry says , "Oh you weren't gonna get with her anyways" and I smile, shake my head, and roll my eyes (basically a yeah, ok kind of look). Girl #2 leaves and joins the rest of the group and eventually I get up and get girl #1 to come back and sit with me (much closer this time). I also hold her hand. The rest of the group leaves and we're alone again except for two loud people talking in the corner. After they say something really obnoxious, I look at her and say "my room's much quieter, let's go there" and she complies.

We head to my room and she sits on my desk chair instead of my bed. I get her to take her shoes off. As we talk, I start leaning in closer to her and eventually kiss her and throw her onto my bed. When I'm making out with her, I bruise her lip. I do this a lot, and I gotta ease off a little bit the next time. One of my roommates also walks in on me, but I use it as an excuse to turn off the lights (which I should have done already) We start making out and I get everything but her panties off. She's grabbing my dick, but then straight up tells me, "we aren't having sex, I don't do that with someone I just met". This is the third time a girl has told me that we aren't having sex in a serious tone. Definitely something to figure out. We keep making out and she laughs at some of my lines. I made the mistake here by taking it a little bit seriously instead of completely laughing it off, although I didn't show too much that I cared. She also told me that she doesn't like dry humping (yeah, duh, me neither) and when I try to go for her panties again, she stops me. We keep making out and then I made the mistake here by having some logical conversation. Not good for sex. I think this was mostly the alcohol, but for some reason I like talking logic when I'm in these positions. I start fingering her and she starts rubbing my dick, and I got her pretty close to cumming. She tells me that she is super turned on and wants to have sex, but is holding back because we just met. She doesn't stay the night because she had things to do in the morning (not a lie) and she leaves.

Also, I saw girl #2 later on in the weekend and she was very nice and even went across the street to hug me in front of my friends. She's being much nicer and much less challenging and giving me a lot more investment.

What I did well:

1. Moving her. I got her to move with me at least four times and got no resistance each time.

2. Sexual tension.

3. Not letting things throw me. I didn't get upset and leave while she was talking to another guy because I knew she wanted me.

4. Not letting the other girl cock block me. Girl #2 was pissed when she saw me the next day with a hickey on my neck ;)

Things to work on:

1. Hitting escalation windows

2. Overcoming LMR

3. I need to stop bruising girls lips, it kills the vibe

4. No logic during sex

5. Drinking less when I go out. I think alcohol was the reason for most of the problems I had.

Tips for newbies:

1. Club dancing sucks. Stay away from it as much as possible.

2. Moving girls is EASY. Just make any old excuse and she will most likely comply.

3. Hit escalation windows the first time. You usually don't get three chances like I did here.

4. Remain calm. Don't let things freak you out. It's not what a sexy man does. You will win in the end.

Questions I have:

1. What do you guys think of girl #2? If she doesn't want me, why does me being around other girls bother her and why is she acting so nice now?

2. How do I start to get girl #1 chasing me? I told her we'd get dinner sometime, but I also want to have her chasing me. What things can I do early in the interaction to get her chasing?

3. Dealing with the "I just met you, we're not having sex" line. I don't think its because I didn't know her, I deep dived pretty well. How do I get past this? She also had a frame that I only wanted to get in her pants (I got past it but still.)

4. How to go for getting a blowjob? I think I could have gotten one, but because I was drunk, I didn't go for it. Do I hint at it, use nonverbals, or what?

Let me know what you guys think. I hope this can help some newbies too, its good to be back ;)
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Ross

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
550
Nice job on handling the cock block; and good job at recognizing the need to pull earlier. A little work to be done on LMR.

4. No logic during sex

This is a very good thing to note. However, you ran into a problem here. She logically thinks that it is a bad idea to sleep with a guy when they've just met, therefore you need to overcome this logical resistance to sex. The absolute worst thing that you can do here is just accept the frame that fast sex is bad.

1. What do you guys think of girl #2? If she doesn't want me, why does me being around other girls bother her and why is she acting so nice now?

Auto-rejection most likely. She sees you as high value, and is nice to you because of that value. But, she rebels against your status as she is trying to climb the social ladder and bring you to her level.

2. How do I start to get girl #1 chasing me? I told her we'd get dinner sometime, but I also want to have her chasing me. What things can I do early in the interaction to get her chasing?

Ideally, you would have slept with her quickly and then she would be chasing you. Now, you have to refine your strategy, therefore I suggest meeting up with her ASAP. The longer you wait, the more attraction dies out. You're going to have to pursue the date to make things happen your way. It's not so much chasing after her, as it is leading her to the bedroom.

In order to get her chasing early on, I suggest investing less in the interaction while maintaining high value. Lean back a little when you first meet her; make the moves necessary towards the bedroom, instead of following her and dancing with her, when that obviously isn't the fastest route to pleasure.

3. Dealing with the "I just met you, we're not having sex" line. I don't think its because I didn't know her, I deep dived pretty well. How do I get past this? She also had a frame that I only wanted to get in her pants (I got past it but still.)

Often when she's physically resisting for logical reasons, such as she just met you, it's not because she doesn't want you. Emotionally, she's all for it! But logically, she sits herself down and thinks, "Hmm.. Potential boyfriend material. Don't sleep with right away." or, "Hmm.. Part of my social circle. Don't sleep with right away." In this particular instance, I think it's mainly because you are potential boyfriend material.

Both of these are real, logical problems. I think you match boyfriend material criteria, therefore you need to actively disqualify yourself. Also, if you are in the same social circle and were seen together being flirty and what-not, then she's going to need to tell them that you didn't sleep together so she isn't labelled a whore. Surprisingly, moving faster helps with this. You aren't seen dancing together, and people don't interrupt and realize what is going on. Sure, you can have a great conversation and touch her all day long, but women still feel judged by others. So perhaps try that great conversation, make any physical touch brief but memorable, and pull her faster in order to avoid the feeling that everyone is about to judge her if she sleeps with you. Then, it becomes much easier to say it'll be our little secret.

4. How to go for getting a blowjob? I think I could have gotten one, but because I was drunk, I didn't go for it. Do I hint at it, use nonverbals, or what?

Depends on the girl. If she feels it's socially acceptable to get/give head, then it sounds like a done deal. Just reading this part now,

She tells me that she is super turned on and wants to have sex, but is holding back because we just met.

That's a clear lifeline call that you need to do some reframing so it's socially acceptable to have sex. At this point, I feel like it'd even be okay to throw out a, "Let's do oral so that we can still have some fun." Then after some of that (her panties are already off) say, "Fuck it. Let's not let logic cloud what we both clearly want to do." Or maybe before. The point is, find a way to reframe it so that logic doesn't matter to you, and it won't matter much to her.

Summary

- Disqualify yourself as a boyfriend.
- Move faster.
- Hit escalation windows.
- Win the frame battle. Best way to beat a logical frame? Use an emotional frame. If she says, "We just met." Say, "Lets enjoy the moment; just you and me."
 

Verisimilitude

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
461
Thanks Ross! That's some great analysis. I have a couple more questions.

How do you recommend going about dealing with girl #2? I wouldn't mind hooking up with her, but she's already rejected me once, but I don't want to get rejected again. Maybe the preselection changed her mind? I actually got the vibe that she didn't see me as high value.

I'm meeting up with the girl for dinner this weekend, an arcade near campus, and then back to my place. What do I say to get her back there? I was thinking a nightcap? But this weekend is tough because her parents are coming there and I'm not touching that (although I can use it as a disqualifier). What is good is that my house will be relatively empty this weekend so there's time to keep it a secret ;)

Is there a way to better disqualify myself as a boyfriend by not using word? I feel that it happens a lot where I get put into that zone.
 

Ross

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
550
Maybe the preselection changed her mind? I actually got the vibe that she didn't see me as high value.

Probably; preselection can sometimes be enough to completely flip her view of you. I've haven't been caught in that situation very often, and when I did I usually stopped trying to make anything happen with someone like girl #2. I would say it could be easy, given the right logistics. Maybe invite her over via text and get some sexual tension going. But be prepared for drama.

What do I say to get her back there? I was thinking a nightcap?

I vote no going back to your place. You've already tried going there, and escalation failed. Try for getting sexual tension high during the dinner, and then get down to business in the car. Just start making out outside of the car, then you can funnel into the backseat. Then, you can probably head back to your house for round 2.

You should be aiming to not have boyfriend type qualities to begin with in order to disqualify yourself. Overall, try to be humble and use some humility. Don't lead on about this magnificent life you plan to lead on during the date, or anything really. Your boyfriend value will go down, so replace it with value as a lover by increasing sexual tension.
 

Verisimilitude

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
461
So good news on both fronts. For girl #1, I got a date set up for late Friday night (that worked out pretty well ;) ) and she also mentioned looking for me at an event last night. I'm currently thinking up a process for the date.

For girl #2 I wanted to do a little test to see how she's feeling about me now (since I got rejected once). I saw her with her friends and she looked really good (lots of makeup, nice outfit) so I told her she looked great. She blushed like crazy (I love when girls do this, so cute) and barely got out another word. I smiled and left and when I got back to my room, I saw a friend request from her on facebook (something she told me specifically that she wouldn't do).

There are a couple things to fix up though. Girl #1 has a really prickly attitude, very sarcastic. Now normally I can handle shit tests, but the way she says things has just a bit more seriousness than other people. I have had self-esteem problems before so its tough to respond and laugh it off. Gotta keep thinking about how girls are cute and silly. I also gotta keep working on investment and being decisive.

For girl #2, I need to find a way not to frame things so that she doesn't reject me again. And not to make it so that both girls don't get mad at me, they're in the same sorority, although I think there's some rivalry between them.

Oh and to top it all off, I was talking about the two girls and how I'm going on a date with one, when my ex girlfriend walked by and I'm pretty sure she heard the whole thing. That felt damn good.

Let me know what you guys think and especially if you have any advice.
 
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