- Joined
- Jun 16, 2013
- Messages
- 1,897
Sup gentlemen it's been awhile since I've had something cool to post on the FR's boards. Don't think I've been getting complacent though! I've still been out grindin just not getting any real great results despite meeting about 10-20 new women every week.
That is until today...
Seeing Zphix back on here scoping the Latinas and Ozzo macking the MILF's (or old enough to be a MILF) I was feeling like I needed to get my ass out of high gear and into overdrive. Then Marty making boss moves on little sweetheart I was determined to stop being a pussy and reach past my comfort zone so damnit I did!
I fuck up later on by being retarded if you want to skip to the funny part (I think it's funny/extremely irritating that I did it) go down to the headline "I Prove I'm Mentally Retarded".
I got off work late around 3 o'clock today and out of going to hit the gym or meeting a sexy girl on the beach I opted out for the latter.
I got out to the beach dressed in my sexy multi colored polka dot on baby blue shorts and start walking the 1/4 mile stretch of populated beach.
I'm somewhat stuck in my head and really don't feel like doing much talking with anyone. I wouldn't entertain it, but the thought of leaving the beach right to get back in my comfort zone was steadily getting sent to the front of my mind. I continually told my ego to go fuck himself until I saw this sexy legged blonde walk a ways in front of me to sit in a chair by herself, and then my ego started encouraging me to go talk to her. Fucking bipolar motherfucker he is.
I knew I had to meet her so I slowly approached from behind at a distance that respected her personal space so I didn't scare her
Cold Approaching the Hot Babe
So as you can see nothing fancy here just very in the moment conversation of me displaying my intentions and leading. I still find in intriguing how little you can say or talk about and yet have a girl so interested in you... the importance of fundamentals.
Anyway we get to know each other for a bit and I find out she actually is with some friends that I can visibly see that are close by. It turned out that she ran over to the chair to keep it from getting blown away (sweet girl).
She's 22 and from Utah (of all places Utah just seems so fucking random... like I didn't know people actually lived there, nonetheless drive 30 hours to get here) and is on vacation for a week (perfect logistics already). Then this:
The guy who's chair she kept from blowing away comes back soon so we get up and walk over to her friend group that have witnessed this whole thing go down so far. I say hi and make a witty patronizing comment to the group about the girl my girl (their friend) and they seem to like me enough to want to exchange names.
I didn't want to get invested in the group so I just lock right back into a bubble with my girl and it almost comes to the end (since I originally framed it as if I were going somewhere to meet people) since she knew I was about to leave to go meet friends.
We had good chemistry and she was obviously into me so I inquired on her logistics (she had horrible logistics being 45 min. away, not knowing the town she's staying in, and not having a car to drive). Since I figured it was slim chance of meeting back up with her for a day 2 I figured I'd try and run with it.
Moving the Hot Babe
Yall know the way girls stare at you when their clearly hooked and you might leave, the "I'm pretending its cool that we can't hang out but I really want your cock in me" look. Well I was getting that look and since I'm a man that respects women I did exactly what any "nice guy" would do... That's right I escalated
because I'm a genuine nice guy!
My plan was to get her in my car and have her suck my dick, sooooo when she asked where we were going (in which she asked suspiciously and immediately) I asked what her favorite music was since we have such fantastic radio stations down here that I had to show her (that was a lie the radio stations in my city blow Dinosaur cock). She consented and we got on the subject of music and since I knew I had to keep some comfort built in this rather uncertain transition to the "blow job spot" I decided to start making fun of country singers (her favorite type of music) and started singing, impromptu, about drinking to much whiskey and having my heart broken (you know the only thing country singers sing about). She thought this was hilarious and we were laughing back to my car.
Somehow I got on the subject of sexy country men and which ones she thinks are the hottest and as we got closer to my car a girl walking past checked us out. I made a comment that she was probably jealous of us (good us vs. them here), in which she proudly agreed. I then told her lets make her more jealous and started holding her hand in which she liked a lot.
Then as we got close to my car we were bantering and she said jokingly "and then we'll have sex in the back of you car".
Did I mention how much I love this girl? She doesn't even want me to work hard!
We get in my car and I'm still being spontaneous and ridiculous in conversation to build comfort (I've known her for maybe 12 min. at this point). I get in the passenger side and she sits on my lap and I close the door. I continue making fun of country music and find the shitty station. At this point the sexual tension has built up pretty decent and we're having good sexy eye contact.
I think I fucked up a bit here by not having a solid game plan but I soon enough kiss her and we make out for a second and pull away mutually. This rings her ASD (anti slut defense [she's making out with a stranger that she met 15 min. ago in his car with no tint putting on a show for the world to see]) and she says her friends are probably wondering where she is.
I blow straight past this and tell her everything cool were just hanging listening to radio. Then I command her to into the driver seat since she's the boss (not really) and shes in control. I do this to let her feel like theres no pressure and we don't have to have sex... right this instant at least.
I then start sucking her neck (still with no real game plan... maybe try and escalate to the back seat? maybe get her to suck my dick in the front? Maybe drive somewhere so the whole world won't see us?) and this turns her on and she gives back. I'm starting to get a boner and stop. I decide that we need to drive somewhere secluded.
Hot Babe Drives my Car!!
She's in the drivers seat and I get back into fun comfort mode and command her to drive me around in a playful half jokingly way. We banter about it for a second and then I turn the key in the ignition and say "give me a tour of this beach right now missy! I want a tour!". I'm being so ridiculous and just having fun to short circuit her emotions from her logic that way were having so much fun she wouldn't even entertain the thought of leaving.
She complies and she starts driving and I tell her where to go (sound familiar to a past LR anybody?). We start driving down the strip and I do a bit of deep diving along with some more banter. We drive a decent ways just enjoying each others company until we get out where there isn't much civilization (still on the beach) and just open beach with parkinglots to park at every so often.
She starts getting a bit nervous (wondering why we've driven so far) and I tell her to pull off at the next little parkinglot.
Now the place we're at I know well, as I used to teach surfcamp there, and there is a hilly secluded area on the side opposite of the gulf of Mexico that almost no one goes to because no one knows about it. It's about a 5 min. walk so I wrap her in a towel (to keep her warm... just kidding she's carrying our "bed") and keep her occupied while I grab gloves to wrap my jimmy in out of the glove box... lame but pun intended.
Anyway we start walking and we start holding hands, touching, complimenting one anothers skin, flirting.
She asks how I know the place so well and I tell her I used to work at surfcamp here and we'd bring the kids all the way back here for a "nature walk" and then rape them before their parents came back to pick them up. I've never told such a dark joke in my entire life but she absolutely ate it up and thought I was the funniest sexy man alive (girls are weird).
Hot Babe and I get it ON (LMR Ensues)
We get to the secluded spot and I show her the beautiful view from the top of the hill with my arms around her and my penis against her ass, that was starting to gorge with blood.
It was too windy in the best spot so I took her back down to the next best spot which is debatable as to if the cars on the road could see us in action. Though honestly I could care less if anyone sees.
I comment on how cowgirls (did I mention she was another horse girl? Yeah she was talking about how she's a cowgirl and qualified herself as being one when I commented that I like women that ride horses... ride horses well that is ) are tough so I throw her into the sand and get on top of her and look her deep in her eyes.
At this point we're in full "seclusion spot" and it's game on as far as I'm concerned. (In case you're wondering it's still bright as day and we're in a spot EASILY accessed by anyone. A sand dune lol) We make out, exchange sucking on each others necks, and feel each other up. She doesn't allow me to feel her bare breasts and pulls my hand out immediately. I then kept my hands on the cloth protecting her breast and continued feeling her up. Soon I got the bright idea to have her suck my dick so I stopped, propped my self up on my knees, put her hands on my boner (through my shorts), and stole Christian Grey's line "This is the effect that you have on me".
Then I looked at her deep in her eyes, and told her "I want you to suck my dick". She got really turned on by this and when I pulled my shorts down to expose my cock her ASD kicked in and she said she can't and needs to go back to her friends.
I let off the gas, put my comfort face back on, and got her laying on stomach on the towel so I could give her a massage. In an effort to show admiration/respect towards sexually liberated women I told her a crazy sex story I had and made sure to enforce how much I respected and liked the girl in my story for going to bed with me fast and being sexually liberated.
This seemed to help a bit and I told her she made me feel like James Bond (I'm massaging a hot babe I just met on the beach in private) and was fulfilling my bond fantasy. She thought this was funny as well and I soon made more sexual tension and started nibbling her earlobe and sucking her neck again. This turned her on and we got back into making out on the towel, me on top of her. She then stops again and says she can't be doing this and needs to go.
I tell her okay lets go and she doesn't move at all. I restart escalating and making out and then once again she tells me she needs to go. I stop for a second to address this and explicitly say she really wants to have sex but doesn't want to feel like a slut. She won't explicitly say that's the reason but I know it is. I then propose that we should just be friends and she agrees jokingly. She starts getting logical and I quickly shut that down and steal Juan Antonio's line "let's not discuss like a contract", in which she laughs and I proceed to start sucking her neck again.
She gets into it again and I gently shove my knee onto her pussy and make small gentle circular motions with my knee. I ask her if she likes my knee in her pussy and she says she does.
I then take my knee away and start passionately making out with her and fingering her through her swimsuit (my fingers were not touching her pussy directly). She loves this and seems extremely aroused and is about to cum. I stop before she cums and tell her that's all she gets for now and continue to make out with her.
I Prove I'm Mentally Retarded (and deserve to get slapped in the face from each one of you reading this)
So at about this time my penis is calling the shots around here and my brain is switched off into primal fuck mode.
I'm grandly entertaining the thought of her sucking my dick and then fucking on the beach where we were and so I decide I need to put a condom on. Remember that she's extremely turned on at this point and I've almost broken through her ASD.
I remember (not at the time) about a week ago I ran across a forum post discussing how you don't want a girl to know your putting a condom on because it can break the mood and get her back into her logical mind because condom=sex with guy I don't know=I'm a slut. This makes a lot of sense and I did jot that down into my brain for a rainy day (or sunny day on the beach I guess). Only thing is my brain was in primal fuck mode with a mix of ADD.
So anyway she sucking my neck, distracted, and I reach into my pocket and pull out a condom that turns out to be "mint Chocolate" flavored. This is my favorite ice cream and I get excited at the thought of how good it's going to taste for her to suck my dick with the flavored condom on. So what great idea drops into my mind next that to me seems like a great way to get her excited to suck my dick?
Go on take a stab at it, I'm waiting...
Yup you got it right I look at her and shove the condom, with the picture of green mint ice cream and a girls lips, into her face and express my excitement for her (I think I wanted to suck my dick more than she did)
In an instant her logical mind punches her emotional brain in the face and she says
"Oh no! I can't, I'm sorry! We really need to go"
My penis starts crying :'(
At this point I know I just fucked up, though she doesn't seem entirely serious.
I say "okay lets go" jokingly and she starts to get up this time. I know I don't want to be needy and outcome independent and after one more attempt to keep escalating I get up as well because she wasn't having it anymore and I respect that boundary (no rape right?) (still think I'm fucking up here and should've just thrown her back down, laughed a bit, and gone back at it passionately).
My pants are down around my ankles and I get up on a little hill and expose my boner to the world (and cars driving past) to see. I must say I felt is one of the most freeing feeling I've experienced in quite a while. She thinks this is hilarious and it shows that I really don't give a fuck about whatever happens and I'm not some needy little bitch itching to get my dick wet.
We walk back with our arms around each other and she admits how bad she just wanted to fuck me and how sexy I am. (I already knew this but OMG WHY AM I SO STUPID!!!)
I literally feel bad for her that I fucked up and wasn't able to fulfill a fantasy sexcapade that would have allowed us to connect and share a ridiculously awesome memory for eternity.
And my penis was still crying :'(.
The whole car ride back she was commenting on how lucky she was to have had gone on that adventure with me and how cool I am and other validation that my ego probably could do without. She still seemed very into me and hadn't lost respect for me despite a failed escalation. Could it be possible that through my outcome independence and respecting her boundaries that it wasn't a completely failed escalation after all? IDK hopeful thinking probably.
I drove her back to where I found her and we talked about getting together soon later on (in which she seemed pretty excited about still) and then she put her number in my phone.
Now I'm usually pretty good at remembering names but I did not remember hers at all and so I asked her. She thought I was the biggest dick in the world and slapped my chest very hard and slammed the door in my face LOL! Though we were still smiling at one another through the window of my car and I motioned for her to come back in. She did and we said good bye and talked about logistics once more. Then she said laughing that she was "glad she didn't have sex with me then!" obviously because I didn't even remember her name... yeah fucked up there too.
Anyway that was that I got her number and will try and get her out again to see her but don't know if that will happen since it was a failed escalation.
Aftermath
So all in all I did a good job hitting escalation windows, leading, being cool in general and I have to say my inner asshole is slowly starting to emerge. I thank Anatman for helping inspire that inner asshole and directing me towards Tucker Max's "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell".
Btw that's the funniest book I've ever laid my hands on, seriously I was in tears laughing on every chapter and about strained my laughing muscle from the damn thing. If you haven't read the book pick it up, laugh, and learn to get your asshole on and what it's possible to get away with.
Clearly I fucked up by failing to escalate all the way when I was SO CLOSE TO HAVING SEX ON THE BEACH! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whatever pimpin aint easy.
Anyway I learned a couple big lessons here:
1. When escalating never, ever, ever show the girl the condom you're about to put on your dick..... especially if you're in broad daylight in public. Just don't do that shit.
2. Persist HARD in escalation and always throw out words and listen to actions. That girl said multiple times it was time to go and when I said "okay lets go" she had a noticeable frown on her face and wouldn't budge.
Always keep escalating, and escalate passionately!
I hope you guys learned a lesson here as well and hopefully enjoyed this book that I'm now going to try and publish. Seriously I wrote a fuck ton and I'm sorry for myself that no one is going to read this because I don't have the time to revise it.
Keep it pimpin, pimpin.
-Rob
That is until today...
Seeing Zphix back on here scoping the Latinas and Ozzo macking the MILF's (or old enough to be a MILF) I was feeling like I needed to get my ass out of high gear and into overdrive. Then Marty making boss moves on little sweetheart I was determined to stop being a pussy and reach past my comfort zone so damnit I did!
I fuck up later on by being retarded if you want to skip to the funny part (I think it's funny/extremely irritating that I did it) go down to the headline "I Prove I'm Mentally Retarded".
I got off work late around 3 o'clock today and out of going to hit the gym or meeting a sexy girl on the beach I opted out for the latter.
I got out to the beach dressed in my sexy multi colored polka dot on baby blue shorts and start walking the 1/4 mile stretch of populated beach.
I'm somewhat stuck in my head and really don't feel like doing much talking with anyone. I wouldn't entertain it, but the thought of leaving the beach right to get back in my comfort zone was steadily getting sent to the front of my mind. I continually told my ego to go fuck himself until I saw this sexy legged blonde walk a ways in front of me to sit in a chair by herself, and then my ego started encouraging me to go talk to her. Fucking bipolar motherfucker he is.
I knew I had to meet her so I slowly approached from behind at a distance that respected her personal space so I didn't scare her
Cold Approaching the Hot Babe
Me: Hi
Her: hahaha (she laughing for some reason)
Me: Whats so funny
Her: haha don't worry I'm not laughing at you
Me: Wasn't thinking that, I just think it's rude that your not sharing whats so funny
Her: haha (still laughing like a weirdo) I just think it's funny that you're here
Me: ahaaa (somewhat skeptical/amused look)
Her: so whats up
Me: I saw you walk in front of me when you came to sit down and noticed you have sexy legs
Her: (she lights up a bit and obviously wasn't expecting that) Omg you're making me blush
Her: You're really attractive as well!
Me: I'm Robert, who are you?
Her: I'm Carly (I actually forgot her name right after she said it which will make sense at the end of this)
Me: Are you going to invite me to sit down for a second (I point at the towel next to her feet, and said this to put social pressure on her as a bit of a "push" to get her more invested)
Her: Oh yes of course! Sit down
So as you can see nothing fancy here just very in the moment conversation of me displaying my intentions and leading. I still find in intriguing how little you can say or talk about and yet have a girl so interested in you... the importance of fundamentals.
Anyway we get to know each other for a bit and I find out she actually is with some friends that I can visibly see that are close by. It turned out that she ran over to the chair to keep it from getting blown away (sweet girl).
She's 22 and from Utah (of all places Utah just seems so fucking random... like I didn't know people actually lived there, nonetheless drive 30 hours to get here) and is on vacation for a week (perfect logistics already). Then this:
Her: So what do you do for a living
Me: You can guess
Her: hmm.. your probably a beach bum
Me: hmmm.. elaborate on what a beach bum entails
Her: dropped out of school to surf, you have a shitty low paying job that causes you to hardly be able to pay your bills, and you live in a degrading low rent apartment with your surf buddies, and you party like no other (OMG I love this girl she's painting the picture of the perfect lover... and she wants me to fit that!)
Me: Sounds like I'll make the perfect lover then
Her: Lol yeah right?
The guy who's chair she kept from blowing away comes back soon so we get up and walk over to her friend group that have witnessed this whole thing go down so far. I say hi and make a witty patronizing comment to the group about the girl my girl (their friend) and they seem to like me enough to want to exchange names.
I didn't want to get invested in the group so I just lock right back into a bubble with my girl and it almost comes to the end (since I originally framed it as if I were going somewhere to meet people) since she knew I was about to leave to go meet friends.
We had good chemistry and she was obviously into me so I inquired on her logistics (she had horrible logistics being 45 min. away, not knowing the town she's staying in, and not having a car to drive). Since I figured it was slim chance of meeting back up with her for a day 2 I figured I'd try and run with it.
Moving the Hot Babe
Yall know the way girls stare at you when their clearly hooked and you might leave, the "I'm pretending its cool that we can't hang out but I really want your cock in me" look. Well I was getting that look and since I'm a man that respects women I did exactly what any "nice guy" would do... That's right I escalated
because I'm a genuine nice guy! My plan was to get her in my car and have her suck my dick, sooooo when she asked where we were going (in which she asked suspiciously and immediately) I asked what her favorite music was since we have such fantastic radio stations down here that I had to show her (that was a lie the radio stations in my city blow Dinosaur cock). She consented and we got on the subject of music and since I knew I had to keep some comfort built in this rather uncertain transition to the "blow job spot" I decided to start making fun of country singers (her favorite type of music) and started singing, impromptu, about drinking to much whiskey and having my heart broken (you know the only thing country singers sing about). She thought this was hilarious and we were laughing back to my car.
Somehow I got on the subject of sexy country men and which ones she thinks are the hottest and as we got closer to my car a girl walking past checked us out. I made a comment that she was probably jealous of us (good us vs. them here), in which she proudly agreed. I then told her lets make her more jealous and started holding her hand in which she liked a lot.
Then as we got close to my car we were bantering and she said jokingly "and then we'll have sex in the back of you car".
Did I mention how much I love this girl? She doesn't even want me to work hard!
We get in my car and I'm still being spontaneous and ridiculous in conversation to build comfort (I've known her for maybe 12 min. at this point). I get in the passenger side and she sits on my lap and I close the door. I continue making fun of country music and find the shitty station. At this point the sexual tension has built up pretty decent and we're having good sexy eye contact.
I think I fucked up a bit here by not having a solid game plan but I soon enough kiss her and we make out for a second and pull away mutually. This rings her ASD (anti slut defense [she's making out with a stranger that she met 15 min. ago in his car with no tint putting on a show for the world to see]) and she says her friends are probably wondering where she is.
I blow straight past this and tell her everything cool were just hanging listening to radio. Then I command her to into the driver seat since she's the boss (not really) and shes in control. I do this to let her feel like theres no pressure and we don't have to have sex... right this instant at least.
I then start sucking her neck (still with no real game plan... maybe try and escalate to the back seat? maybe get her to suck my dick in the front? Maybe drive somewhere so the whole world won't see us?) and this turns her on and she gives back. I'm starting to get a boner and stop. I decide that we need to drive somewhere secluded.
Hot Babe Drives my Car!!
She's in the drivers seat and I get back into fun comfort mode and command her to drive me around in a playful half jokingly way. We banter about it for a second and then I turn the key in the ignition and say "give me a tour of this beach right now missy! I want a tour!". I'm being so ridiculous and just having fun to short circuit her emotions from her logic that way were having so much fun she wouldn't even entertain the thought of leaving.
She complies and she starts driving and I tell her where to go (sound familiar to a past LR anybody?). We start driving down the strip and I do a bit of deep diving along with some more banter. We drive a decent ways just enjoying each others company until we get out where there isn't much civilization (still on the beach) and just open beach with parkinglots to park at every so often.
She starts getting a bit nervous (wondering why we've driven so far) and I tell her to pull off at the next little parkinglot.
Now the place we're at I know well, as I used to teach surfcamp there, and there is a hilly secluded area on the side opposite of the gulf of Mexico that almost no one goes to because no one knows about it. It's about a 5 min. walk so I wrap her in a towel (to keep her warm... just kidding she's carrying our "bed") and keep her occupied while I grab gloves to wrap my jimmy in out of the glove box... lame but pun intended.
Anyway we start walking and we start holding hands, touching, complimenting one anothers skin, flirting.
She asks how I know the place so well and I tell her I used to work at surfcamp here and we'd bring the kids all the way back here for a "nature walk" and then rape them before their parents came back to pick them up. I've never told such a dark joke in my entire life but she absolutely ate it up and thought I was the funniest sexy man alive (girls are weird).
Hot Babe and I get it ON (LMR Ensues)
We get to the secluded spot and I show her the beautiful view from the top of the hill with my arms around her and my penis against her ass, that was starting to gorge with blood.
It was too windy in the best spot so I took her back down to the next best spot which is debatable as to if the cars on the road could see us in action. Though honestly I could care less if anyone sees.
I comment on how cowgirls (did I mention she was another horse girl? Yeah she was talking about how she's a cowgirl and qualified herself as being one when I commented that I like women that ride horses... ride horses well that is
) are tough so I throw her into the sand and get on top of her and look her deep in her eyes. At this point we're in full "seclusion spot" and it's game on as far as I'm concerned. (In case you're wondering it's still bright as day and we're in a spot EASILY accessed by anyone. A sand dune lol) We make out, exchange sucking on each others necks, and feel each other up. She doesn't allow me to feel her bare breasts and pulls my hand out immediately. I then kept my hands on the cloth protecting her breast and continued feeling her up. Soon I got the bright idea to have her suck my dick so I stopped, propped my self up on my knees, put her hands on my boner (through my shorts), and stole Christian Grey's line "This is the effect that you have on me".
Then I looked at her deep in her eyes, and told her "I want you to suck my dick". She got really turned on by this and when I pulled my shorts down to expose my cock her ASD kicked in and she said she can't and needs to go back to her friends.
I let off the gas, put my comfort face back on, and got her laying on stomach on the towel so I could give her a massage. In an effort to show admiration/respect towards sexually liberated women I told her a crazy sex story I had and made sure to enforce how much I respected and liked the girl in my story for going to bed with me fast and being sexually liberated.
This seemed to help a bit and I told her she made me feel like James Bond (I'm massaging a hot babe I just met on the beach in private) and was fulfilling my bond fantasy. She thought this was funny as well and I soon made more sexual tension and started nibbling her earlobe and sucking her neck again. This turned her on and we got back into making out on the towel, me on top of her. She then stops again and says she can't be doing this and needs to go.
I tell her okay lets go and she doesn't move at all. I restart escalating and making out and then once again she tells me she needs to go. I stop for a second to address this and explicitly say she really wants to have sex but doesn't want to feel like a slut. She won't explicitly say that's the reason but I know it is. I then propose that we should just be friends and she agrees jokingly. She starts getting logical and I quickly shut that down and steal Juan Antonio's line "let's not discuss like a contract", in which she laughs and I proceed to start sucking her neck again.
She gets into it again and I gently shove my knee onto her pussy and make small gentle circular motions with my knee. I ask her if she likes my knee in her pussy and she says she does.
I then take my knee away and start passionately making out with her and fingering her through her swimsuit (my fingers were not touching her pussy directly). She loves this and seems extremely aroused and is about to cum. I stop before she cums and tell her that's all she gets for now and continue to make out with her.
I Prove I'm Mentally Retarded (and deserve to get slapped in the face from each one of you reading this)
So at about this time my penis is calling the shots around here and my brain is switched off into primal fuck mode.
I'm grandly entertaining the thought of her sucking my dick and then fucking on the beach where we were and so I decide I need to put a condom on. Remember that she's extremely turned on at this point and I've almost broken through her ASD.
I remember (not at the time) about a week ago I ran across a forum post discussing how you don't want a girl to know your putting a condom on because it can break the mood and get her back into her logical mind because condom=sex with guy I don't know=I'm a slut. This makes a lot of sense and I did jot that down into my brain for a rainy day (or sunny day on the beach I guess). Only thing is my brain was in primal fuck mode with a mix of ADD.
So anyway she sucking my neck, distracted, and I reach into my pocket and pull out a condom that turns out to be "mint Chocolate" flavored. This is my favorite ice cream and I get excited at the thought of how good it's going to taste for her to suck my dick with the flavored condom on. So what great idea drops into my mind next that to me seems like a great way to get her excited to suck my dick?
Go on take a stab at it, I'm waiting...
Yup you got it right I look at her and shove the condom, with the picture of green mint ice cream and a girls lips, into her face and express my excitement for her (I think I wanted to suck my dick more than she did)
In an instant her logical mind punches her emotional brain in the face and she says
"Oh no! I can't, I'm sorry! We really need to go"
My penis starts crying :'(
At this point I know I just fucked up, though she doesn't seem entirely serious.
I say "okay lets go" jokingly and she starts to get up this time. I know I don't want to be needy and outcome independent and after one more attempt to keep escalating I get up as well because she wasn't having it anymore and I respect that boundary (no rape right?) (still think I'm fucking up here and should've just thrown her back down, laughed a bit, and gone back at it passionately).
My pants are down around my ankles and I get up on a little hill and expose my boner to the world (and cars driving past) to see. I must say I felt is one of the most freeing feeling I've experienced in quite a while. She thinks this is hilarious and it shows that I really don't give a fuck about whatever happens and I'm not some needy little bitch itching to get my dick wet.
We walk back with our arms around each other and she admits how bad she just wanted to fuck me and how sexy I am. (I already knew this but OMG WHY AM I SO STUPID!!!)
I literally feel bad for her that I fucked up and wasn't able to fulfill a fantasy sexcapade that would have allowed us to connect and share a ridiculously awesome memory for eternity.
And my penis was still crying :'(.
The whole car ride back she was commenting on how lucky she was to have had gone on that adventure with me and how cool I am and other validation that my ego probably could do without. She still seemed very into me and hadn't lost respect for me despite a failed escalation. Could it be possible that through my outcome independence and respecting her boundaries that it wasn't a completely failed escalation after all? IDK hopeful thinking probably.
I drove her back to where I found her and we talked about getting together soon later on (in which she seemed pretty excited about still) and then she put her number in my phone.
Now I'm usually pretty good at remembering names but I did not remember hers at all and so I asked her. She thought I was the biggest dick in the world and slapped my chest very hard and slammed the door in my face LOL! Though we were still smiling at one another through the window of my car and I motioned for her to come back in. She did and we said good bye and talked about logistics once more. Then she said laughing that she was "glad she didn't have sex with me then!" obviously because I didn't even remember her name... yeah fucked up there too.
Anyway that was that I got her number and will try and get her out again to see her but don't know if that will happen since it was a failed escalation.
Aftermath
So all in all I did a good job hitting escalation windows, leading, being cool in general and I have to say my inner asshole is slowly starting to emerge. I thank Anatman for helping inspire that inner asshole and directing me towards Tucker Max's "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell".
Btw that's the funniest book I've ever laid my hands on, seriously I was in tears laughing on every chapter and about strained my laughing muscle from the damn thing. If you haven't read the book pick it up, laugh, and learn to get your asshole on and what it's possible to get away with.
Clearly I fucked up by failing to escalate all the way when I was SO CLOSE TO HAVING SEX ON THE BEACH! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whatever pimpin aint easy.
Anyway I learned a couple big lessons here:
1. When escalating never, ever, ever show the girl the condom you're about to put on your dick..... especially if you're in broad daylight in public. Just don't do that shit.
2. Persist HARD in escalation and always throw out words and listen to actions. That girl said multiple times it was time to go and when I said "okay lets go" she had a noticeable frown on her face and wouldn't budge.
Always keep escalating, and escalate passionately!
I hope you guys learned a lesson here as well and hopefully enjoyed this book that I'm now going to try and publish. Seriously I wrote a fuck ton and I'm sorry for myself that no one is going to read this because I don't have the time to revise it.
Keep it pimpin, pimpin.
-Rob
