- Joined
- Mar 2, 2013
- Messages
- 865
This was a weird FR. I accidentally stated intentions I didn't mean, and I'm not sure if she was actually interested in a date or not. And I want to hear your guy's opinion on if what I hit at the end was LMR, or something I did wrong. I wrote down everything I remembered from the interaction to hear feedback on anything I'm doing wrong. Critiques and comments appreciated 
Opener and Introduction:
When I left the house yesterday, I wasn't expecting to talk to any girls. But happening down the street, there was this gorgeous Czech girl in a jean jacket and red dress that I couldn't resist saying hi to.
Me: Excuse me
Her - (Turns to face me, slightly bewildered face)
Me: Hello
Her: Hello (we gradually both stop walking and we stand facing each other)
Me: You have the most killer sense of fashion I've seen all day.
Her - (Laughs, but looks quite shy/nervous)
Me: I'm Nick.
Her: Hi, I'm Eve.
Me: So what have you been up to today, Eve? (points toward the shopping bags she has)
Her: I went out shopping today.
Me: I can see that, I hope you left some for the other shoppers, too. (said with a smile, but she doesn't take it that great. It almost felt like too much teasing)
(conversation goes on for a little while...)
Me: So what lands do you come from, Eve?
Her: The Czech Republic.
Me: Cool. Prague?
Her: No, but I love Prague! (her face really lit up when I brought this up)
Me: Ah, rad!
(some discussion about Prague)
Her: So where are you from?
Me: Hmmm...I want to hear your opinion. Take a guess.
Her: Amsterdam? (the place we met at)
Me: Really? That's a cool guess (touching her arm, to reward her for guessing) Why did you think that?
Her: Uhh, I don't know. I guess because you came up to me randomly in the street! I think only a local does that!
(conversation goes on for 5-10 minutes)
Me: Cool, cool. So what are your plans for the night?
Her: Umm...not really anything (laughs)
Me: Excellent! Well some friends and I are going out tonight, it would be really rad if you came.
Her: Yeah, yeah! For sure! Can I have your phone number?
I didn't realize I had actually said the thing about friends until later, post-date. She said she just moved to Amsterdam yesterday, and I think by asking her to 'hang out' instead of 'date' I gave the wrong intentions, since girls try to build social circle when they move to new places. But would like to hear your guys' thoughts on the rest...
Before the date:
We had a little email exchange before we met up that looked like this:
Me: Hey Eve, great to meet you earlier today! About that meetup tonight...how does 10 in front of McDonald's near Dam Square sound? (Didn't see Franco's reply post on my texting issue before I sent this one)
Her: Ok. Hope i will find it and be there on time. See you later. And by the way Can you please give me your number so i can text you or call you if something happens?
Thanks, Eve
Me: Excellent, Eve. I don't actually have a phone number here, but you can email me if something happens. See ya then
Her: Do not have access to internet in my mobile outside my appartment so i cant send you an email. Thats the problem. Cam you please waitnfor me like 10 minutes, i already know i will be late. Sorry. See ya
Me: Yeah, no worries, we'll figure it out when we see each other. See ya then (Yep, sent that last part twice, lol!)
During the date:
So I went to the McDonald's a few minutes late and purposefully stood next to a big group of guys. I started a conversation with them (it went pretty well) so that I'd look like a social kind of person, bolstering my value. But I think it backfired because when she came up to us, I broke circle with them and she looked pretty surprised. Anyways, we greeted each other, and I put my hand on the lower part of her back as I said "let's walk in here" into the McDonald's. I asked if she was hungry and she said 'not really' and since I wasn't either, I took her outside and we walked toward a scenic area of a canal.
There was lots of kino on my end through the whole date. Mostly just putting my hand on her arm or shoulder to steer her around through the large traffic of people passing us. When we got to an intersection with cars, I'd always put my hand in front of her to prevent her from going. When we finally got to the bridge, we sat down and chatted for a while. And though we sat close to each other, she wasn't touching me with her legs or facing me. We deep dived for a while; got her talking about her passions in life, where she came from, and what she wanted to do in the future. There'd be silences in the conversation for a little while if I stopped asking questions, and she, maybe 50% of the time, mirror back a question to me. At one point I remarked about how quiet she was and she said
Her: I'm sorry, I'm just pretty shy.
Me: Yeah, that's alright. Here, ask a question about me. It can be anything.
Her: (sat thinking for a second) how old are you?
Me: That's too deep. I can't answer that.
Her: (laughs)
Me: Honestly though, I'd like to hear your guess.
Her: 21?
Me: (touching her again as a way to reward) Nah, but I appreciate that! How old are you?
Her: Wait, I asked you first!
Me: Yeah, but now I'm curious. How old are you?
Her: You guess.
Me: I'd also guess 21.
Her: Nope!
Me: Lower or higher?
Her: Lower.
Me: ...15?
Her: (laughs) no, higher. 18.
Just some fun here. She also remarked how attractive she thought California guys were. Thought that probably helped my case a bit. Anyways, decided to get up from that location, and she insisted she wanted to see the red light district. This was perfect.
Me: Never been to the Red Light District before, eh?
Her: No, I really wanted to, but I didn't want to do it alone.
(later on as she was walking toward a store with a ton of condoms in the window)
Her: Wow, look at that. They just put them out on the window!
Me: Yeah, don't get too excited about that. We're still in public.
Her: (laughs)
We were talking later and she talked about how she went skinny dipping three times, how much she partied in Rome, and how she wanted to do 'crazy stuff' she'd never done before in Amsterdam. Nice
Back to my place:
I told her I had pictures of my travels back at the hotel room, so she, somewhat timidly, obliged. She said a few times she had to go soon, or she was going to miss her bus back home. I rolled through, and we get to my room, and I sit on the bed, and she stands up near the bed. I tell her to come relax and have a seat next to me. She does so. I tried giving her a pillow to lay back on, but she refused several times to take it. We talk briefly, then I get up and ask her if she wants a water, to which she also declines. I get up and tell her to come to the window, to which she says OK. So we sit at the window, and its really tense. I'm feeling pretty nervous, and I'm sure she does too. I try to let the conversation wind down, and I put my finger under her chin and go for the kiss when she blocks my advances with her hand and spontaneously blurts out: "I have a boyfriend! I'm sorry".
At this point, I'm thinking "wait, WTF??", where did this come from??
Me: Wait, I'm confused. You never brought him up before...
Her: Yes, I know. I'm really sorry. I've got to go.
Me: It just seems strange. I mean, you came up here, right?
Her: Yeah.
Me: And you met me for the McDonald's earlier, too, right?
Her: Yeah.
Me: So I'm just a little confused why you waited until now to tell me.
Her: I know, I know. I'm really sorry. I'm just looking for a friend. I have to go.
But she wasn't actively leaving. I wasn't sure what I was facing. Why isn't she walking out as she says this? Is it to be polite, and because she doesn't know what she's doing? Or is it because I need to overcome LMR to bed her? I decided it was the former, and I asked her if she needed to get directions before I let her out the door. Looking back, I should have just treated it like LMR and pushed through anyways, just to be safe.
Reflection
So I can't figure this out. Was she there for genuine interest, and I just needed to pass LMR to bed her? Or was it that I legitimately mislead her on misstated intentions? If it was LMR, how would I have overcome it? I mean, it had to be strong if I couldn't even kiss her.
All thoughts, comments and critiques appreciated!
Cheers,
Jake
Opener and Introduction:
When I left the house yesterday, I wasn't expecting to talk to any girls. But happening down the street, there was this gorgeous Czech girl in a jean jacket and red dress that I couldn't resist saying hi to.
Me: Excuse me
Her - (Turns to face me, slightly bewildered face)
Me: Hello
Her: Hello (we gradually both stop walking and we stand facing each other)
Me: You have the most killer sense of fashion I've seen all day.
Her - (Laughs, but looks quite shy/nervous)
Me: I'm Nick.
Her: Hi, I'm Eve.
Me: So what have you been up to today, Eve? (points toward the shopping bags she has)
Her: I went out shopping today.
Me: I can see that, I hope you left some for the other shoppers, too. (said with a smile, but she doesn't take it that great. It almost felt like too much teasing)
(conversation goes on for a little while...)
Me: So what lands do you come from, Eve?
Her: The Czech Republic.
Me: Cool. Prague?
Her: No, but I love Prague! (her face really lit up when I brought this up)
Me: Ah, rad!
(some discussion about Prague)
Her: So where are you from?
Me: Hmmm...I want to hear your opinion. Take a guess.
Her: Amsterdam? (the place we met at)
Me: Really? That's a cool guess (touching her arm, to reward her for guessing) Why did you think that?
Her: Uhh, I don't know. I guess because you came up to me randomly in the street! I think only a local does that!
(conversation goes on for 5-10 minutes)
Me: Cool, cool. So what are your plans for the night?
Her: Umm...not really anything (laughs)
Me: Excellent! Well some friends and I are going out tonight, it would be really rad if you came.
Her: Yeah, yeah! For sure! Can I have your phone number?
I didn't realize I had actually said the thing about friends until later, post-date. She said she just moved to Amsterdam yesterday, and I think by asking her to 'hang out' instead of 'date' I gave the wrong intentions, since girls try to build social circle when they move to new places. But would like to hear your guys' thoughts on the rest...
Before the date:
We had a little email exchange before we met up that looked like this:
Me: Hey Eve, great to meet you earlier today! About that meetup tonight...how does 10 in front of McDonald's near Dam Square sound? (Didn't see Franco's reply post on my texting issue before I sent this one)
Her: Ok. Hope i will find it and be there on time. See you later. And by the way Can you please give me your number so i can text you or call you if something happens?
Thanks, Eve
Me: Excellent, Eve. I don't actually have a phone number here, but you can email me if something happens. See ya then
Her: Do not have access to internet in my mobile outside my appartment so i cant send you an email. Thats the problem. Cam you please waitnfor me like 10 minutes, i already know i will be late. Sorry. See ya
Me: Yeah, no worries, we'll figure it out when we see each other. See ya then
(Yep, sent that last part twice, lol!)During the date:
So I went to the McDonald's a few minutes late and purposefully stood next to a big group of guys. I started a conversation with them (it went pretty well) so that I'd look like a social kind of person, bolstering my value. But I think it backfired because when she came up to us, I broke circle with them and she looked pretty surprised. Anyways, we greeted each other, and I put my hand on the lower part of her back as I said "let's walk in here" into the McDonald's. I asked if she was hungry and she said 'not really' and since I wasn't either, I took her outside and we walked toward a scenic area of a canal.
There was lots of kino on my end through the whole date. Mostly just putting my hand on her arm or shoulder to steer her around through the large traffic of people passing us. When we got to an intersection with cars, I'd always put my hand in front of her to prevent her from going. When we finally got to the bridge, we sat down and chatted for a while. And though we sat close to each other, she wasn't touching me with her legs or facing me. We deep dived for a while; got her talking about her passions in life, where she came from, and what she wanted to do in the future. There'd be silences in the conversation for a little while if I stopped asking questions, and she, maybe 50% of the time, mirror back a question to me. At one point I remarked about how quiet she was and she said
Her: I'm sorry, I'm just pretty shy.
Me: Yeah, that's alright. Here, ask a question about me. It can be anything.
Her: (sat thinking for a second) how old are you?
Me: That's too deep. I can't answer that.
Her: (laughs)
Me: Honestly though, I'd like to hear your guess.
Her: 21?
Me: (touching her again as a way to reward) Nah, but I appreciate that! How old are you?
Her: Wait, I asked you first!
Me: Yeah, but now I'm curious. How old are you?
Her: You guess.
Me: I'd also guess 21.
Her: Nope!
Me: Lower or higher?
Her: Lower.
Me: ...15?
Her: (laughs) no, higher. 18.
Just some fun here. She also remarked how attractive she thought California guys were. Thought that probably helped my case a bit. Anyways, decided to get up from that location, and she insisted she wanted to see the red light district. This was perfect.
Me: Never been to the Red Light District before, eh?
Her: No, I really wanted to, but I didn't want to do it alone.
(later on as she was walking toward a store with a ton of condoms in the window)
Her: Wow, look at that. They just put them out on the window!
Me: Yeah, don't get too excited about that. We're still in public.
Her: (laughs)
We were talking later and she talked about how she went skinny dipping three times, how much she partied in Rome, and how she wanted to do 'crazy stuff' she'd never done before in Amsterdam. Nice
Back to my place:
I told her I had pictures of my travels back at the hotel room, so she, somewhat timidly, obliged. She said a few times she had to go soon, or she was going to miss her bus back home. I rolled through, and we get to my room, and I sit on the bed, and she stands up near the bed. I tell her to come relax and have a seat next to me. She does so. I tried giving her a pillow to lay back on, but she refused several times to take it. We talk briefly, then I get up and ask her if she wants a water, to which she also declines. I get up and tell her to come to the window, to which she says OK. So we sit at the window, and its really tense. I'm feeling pretty nervous, and I'm sure she does too. I try to let the conversation wind down, and I put my finger under her chin and go for the kiss when she blocks my advances with her hand and spontaneously blurts out: "I have a boyfriend! I'm sorry".
At this point, I'm thinking "wait, WTF??", where did this come from??
Me: Wait, I'm confused. You never brought him up before...
Her: Yes, I know. I'm really sorry. I've got to go.
Me: It just seems strange. I mean, you came up here, right?
Her: Yeah.
Me: And you met me for the McDonald's earlier, too, right?
Her: Yeah.
Me: So I'm just a little confused why you waited until now to tell me.
Her: I know, I know. I'm really sorry. I'm just looking for a friend. I have to go.
But she wasn't actively leaving. I wasn't sure what I was facing. Why isn't she walking out as she says this? Is it to be polite, and because she doesn't know what she's doing? Or is it because I need to overcome LMR to bed her? I decided it was the former, and I asked her if she needed to get directions before I let her out the door. Looking back, I should have just treated it like LMR and pushed through anyways, just to be safe.
Reflection
So I can't figure this out. Was she there for genuine interest, and I just needed to pass LMR to bed her? Or was it that I legitimately mislead her on misstated intentions? If it was LMR, how would I have overcome it? I mean, it had to be strong if I couldn't even kiss her.
All thoughts, comments and critiques appreciated!
Cheers,
Jake
