- Joined
- Dec 20, 2012
- Messages
- 461
So this is my first FR in a while, and hopefully I can get some advice, because I'm a little rusty and I'm working to overcome some core issues. Anyways:
My goals were:
1. Meet 3 new people
2. Use the countdown method for approaching three times
3. And pretend like I am in a TV show and use my facial expressions and nonverbals accordingly.
I headed to a theme party and met a couple of my friends there. I wasn't drinking much, and was planning on hopefully meeting a girl at the party. I knew that two girls were coming who I wanted to get with and I was pretty excited. So I walk into the party and it looks like a middle school dance. Girls on one side, guys on the other. The lights were off and no one seemed to be having any fun. Looking back, I should have done more approaches but it was tough overcoming the social pressure. But starting a drinking game or approaching a group of girls would have been a good idea. I meet a couple new people and get my first goal out of the way, but didn't really approach any girls. Eventually people start to get drunk and mingle and I meet one of the girls who I knew was coming. We talked for a little bit, but I was having trouble turning the conversation into a sexual one. More pauses and eye contact would help here. I eventually said I'd meet up with her later and met more people.
I saw that my friend was talking to a girl I had made out with a year ago so I figured I could have an interesting conversation with them. I walked right up to them and my friend said, "XC this is..." and I cut him off and said, "Oh I know who she is" with a little smile and in a pretty sexy voice. She looked at me and smiled and said, "Yeah we've met before". Anyways my friend left and I started talking to her. She tried giving me shit for not remembering her name, until I asked her what my name was and she said my name was Drew (I wish my name was that cool) and I get her to give me her name. We kept talking but eventually she got distracted and went away. I know exactly where I went wrong here: I needed to move her. Things had just started to feel a little awkward and we were beginning to get beyond chit chat. I like to deep dive sitting down and its a great excuse to move a girl. I was just shocked with how quick she wanted to be moved because the whole interaction was five minutes tops. I found out later she had a boyfriend, which explains why she was so open but walked away so quickly. She wanted something fast and I missed the window.
I went to another room and met the girl from before (see two paragraphs up). She was way more flirty, getting very close to my face and stealing my stuff. I knew that I should either A. move her or B. kiss her, but she was so flighty. She would get really close then pull back and run away. What I should have done was grab her and kiss her, but I wasn't used to a girl running all around the dance floor like that. Any tips for calming down wild party girls like that?
The rest of my night was spent getting approached by girls who clearly liked me, but I had no interest in. The first was a girl who I used to tutor. She's been very flirty and approaches me every time she sees me, but I just don't like the girl. I feel really weird getting with a girl I used to tutor and she's just not all that pretty. (I have a real hard time liking Asians except the really pretty ones)
The second girl who approached me was a girl I had met a couple days ago. I knew she liked me because she had been teasing and trying to flirt with me since she saw me. She was even more direct now but again I just wasn't into her (she's overweight).
The third girl who approached me was pretty and I would have gotten with her, but she ruined it. She told me that she wanted to hook up with a guy, but then asked me if I'd "be there for her" (said with her hand on my arm) if he was a dick. Now I get the whole "you should really be having sex" thing and lowering standards to see improvement, but I have too much respect for myself to be someone's backup. I told her that and she said she thought I had a girlfriend (yeah right) and then told me that I'd make a great boyfriend and I was "boyfriend material". That really turned me off and bothered me, because I have been working out to have a better body, and trying to wear nicer clothes to move to the lover category not the boyfriend category. I could really use some tips here on how to shake this label. Anyways, I eventually just left her and when she tried to follow me, she tripped. I was pissed so I just kept walking.
The last girl is a girl who likes me but I really have tried to show her I'm not interested. She is also overweight and has slept with two of my friends so I'm really not interested. But she invited me to her formal and always touches my arms and face when she talks to me. I talked with her for a little then politely excused myself.
Later in the night I see a really pretty girl sitting by herself and use the countdown method to approach her. I tell her she has the only drama free spot in the whole part and she smiles and I sit down. I tell her my name, and she either realizes that I'm hitting on her and isn't interested or she was pissed that I didn't remember her name when we danced and she told me. I remembered that night and her name, but I didn't know if she did and I wasn't trying to seem creepy. I never know what to do in those situations, where I meet a girl but it wasn't a real formal introduction. Anyways from that point on she's completely cold and I end up walking away.
Later a friend came up to me and said that a girl in my social circle wanted to hook up with me, but I knew the girl too well and I've never been into her. After that, I got food with my friends and went to bed.
My biggest problems were:
1. I don't want to be a boyfriend candidate. This was the second time a random girl has assumed I had a girlfriend just by looking at me, despite me working to change my fundamentals. I could really use the most help with this.
2. The girls who I wanted to hook up with didn't want me and the girls who did want to hook up I didn't want. So yeah, I need to find a happy medium.
3. Approaching and social momentum. There were a couple times (especially early) that I could have been more social.
4. How to meet girls I already met but they might not remember me
5. How do deal with flighty girls
Things I did well:
1. My nonverbals must have been decent because I got approached a lot, just not by the right girls
2. I approached a girl who I really liked (but got shot down)
3. I did pretty well with one girl, just didn't move her at the right time.
Let me know if you guys have any suggestions, especially with the lists above
My goals were:
1. Meet 3 new people
2. Use the countdown method for approaching three times
3. And pretend like I am in a TV show and use my facial expressions and nonverbals accordingly.
I headed to a theme party and met a couple of my friends there. I wasn't drinking much, and was planning on hopefully meeting a girl at the party. I knew that two girls were coming who I wanted to get with and I was pretty excited. So I walk into the party and it looks like a middle school dance. Girls on one side, guys on the other. The lights were off and no one seemed to be having any fun. Looking back, I should have done more approaches but it was tough overcoming the social pressure. But starting a drinking game or approaching a group of girls would have been a good idea. I meet a couple new people and get my first goal out of the way, but didn't really approach any girls. Eventually people start to get drunk and mingle and I meet one of the girls who I knew was coming. We talked for a little bit, but I was having trouble turning the conversation into a sexual one. More pauses and eye contact would help here. I eventually said I'd meet up with her later and met more people.
I saw that my friend was talking to a girl I had made out with a year ago so I figured I could have an interesting conversation with them. I walked right up to them and my friend said, "XC this is..." and I cut him off and said, "Oh I know who she is" with a little smile and in a pretty sexy voice. She looked at me and smiled and said, "Yeah we've met before". Anyways my friend left and I started talking to her. She tried giving me shit for not remembering her name, until I asked her what my name was and she said my name was Drew (I wish my name was that cool) and I get her to give me her name. We kept talking but eventually she got distracted and went away. I know exactly where I went wrong here: I needed to move her. Things had just started to feel a little awkward and we were beginning to get beyond chit chat. I like to deep dive sitting down and its a great excuse to move a girl. I was just shocked with how quick she wanted to be moved because the whole interaction was five minutes tops. I found out later she had a boyfriend, which explains why she was so open but walked away so quickly. She wanted something fast and I missed the window.
I went to another room and met the girl from before (see two paragraphs up). She was way more flirty, getting very close to my face and stealing my stuff. I knew that I should either A. move her or B. kiss her, but she was so flighty. She would get really close then pull back and run away. What I should have done was grab her and kiss her, but I wasn't used to a girl running all around the dance floor like that. Any tips for calming down wild party girls like that?
The rest of my night was spent getting approached by girls who clearly liked me, but I had no interest in. The first was a girl who I used to tutor. She's been very flirty and approaches me every time she sees me, but I just don't like the girl. I feel really weird getting with a girl I used to tutor and she's just not all that pretty. (I have a real hard time liking Asians except the really pretty ones)
The second girl who approached me was a girl I had met a couple days ago. I knew she liked me because she had been teasing and trying to flirt with me since she saw me. She was even more direct now but again I just wasn't into her (she's overweight).
The third girl who approached me was pretty and I would have gotten with her, but she ruined it. She told me that she wanted to hook up with a guy, but then asked me if I'd "be there for her" (said with her hand on my arm) if he was a dick. Now I get the whole "you should really be having sex" thing and lowering standards to see improvement, but I have too much respect for myself to be someone's backup. I told her that and she said she thought I had a girlfriend (yeah right) and then told me that I'd make a great boyfriend and I was "boyfriend material". That really turned me off and bothered me, because I have been working out to have a better body, and trying to wear nicer clothes to move to the lover category not the boyfriend category. I could really use some tips here on how to shake this label. Anyways, I eventually just left her and when she tried to follow me, she tripped. I was pissed so I just kept walking.
The last girl is a girl who likes me but I really have tried to show her I'm not interested. She is also overweight and has slept with two of my friends so I'm really not interested. But she invited me to her formal and always touches my arms and face when she talks to me. I talked with her for a little then politely excused myself.
Later in the night I see a really pretty girl sitting by herself and use the countdown method to approach her. I tell her she has the only drama free spot in the whole part and she smiles and I sit down. I tell her my name, and she either realizes that I'm hitting on her and isn't interested or she was pissed that I didn't remember her name when we danced and she told me. I remembered that night and her name, but I didn't know if she did and I wasn't trying to seem creepy. I never know what to do in those situations, where I meet a girl but it wasn't a real formal introduction. Anyways from that point on she's completely cold and I end up walking away.
Later a friend came up to me and said that a girl in my social circle wanted to hook up with me, but I knew the girl too well and I've never been into her. After that, I got food with my friends and went to bed.
My biggest problems were:
1. I don't want to be a boyfriend candidate. This was the second time a random girl has assumed I had a girlfriend just by looking at me, despite me working to change my fundamentals. I could really use the most help with this.
2. The girls who I wanted to hook up with didn't want me and the girls who did want to hook up I didn't want. So yeah, I need to find a happy medium.
3. Approaching and social momentum. There were a couple times (especially early) that I could have been more social.
4. How to meet girls I already met but they might not remember me
5. How do deal with flighty girls
Things I did well:
1. My nonverbals must have been decent because I got approached a lot, just not by the right girls
2. I approached a girl who I really liked (but got shot down)
3. I did pretty well with one girl, just didn't move her at the right time.
Let me know if you guys have any suggestions, especially with the lists above
. Glad too see you back on the field reports section mate.